“Yeah.”
“We just want you to be careful, Rachel. That’s all. And as long as you’re doing that, and keeping up your end of the bargain and not getting into any trouble or slipping at school, we’re going to try to understand where you’re coming from when you dye your hair and make new friends and get involved with things that we don’t necessarily understand.”
“Do you think maybe I could paint my bedroom a different colour?”
“Paint? I don’t know about that. Do you want to change your room?”
“Yeah, kinda.” I gestured to the duck lamp. “It feels babyish in here.”
My mom frowned. “But you’ve always loved that lamp! Your grandma gave that to you when you were one.”
“Exactly.”
Mom thought for a second. “Let’s talk about it with your dad. Maybe we can give you some extra chores around here and come up with a compromise about getting you some new things. A trade.”
“That’d be great,” I said, brightening up. “I’d do whatever.”
“We’ll see.” Mom smiled and patted my leg. “Just remember, Rachel, we love you. We aren’t monsters. We just have to work together, all of us, and communicate.”
“I understand,” I said, nodding.
She gazed at me fondly. “I never thought my little Rachel would dye her hair black,” she said, smiling sadly. “You’re growing up.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
xXx
Josephine asked me if I wanted to go shopping on Saturday. Saturday was the concert. Fern had said that she and her friend Craig would be by to pick me up in the late afternoon, and I was looking forward to taking my time getting ready, so I didn’t see how I’d be able to go with Josephine and make it back in time.
Besides, I didn’t really want to go shopping with her. I much preferred going with Fern. And I also couldn’t tell Josephine about the concert, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings at not being invited.
“I have plans with my parents that day,” I lied.
“What plans?”
“We’re going out for dinner and stuff,” I said. I wasn’t even fooling myself.
Josephine studied me for a few moments. “Is everything okay?”
Angry at myself, both for lying and for not being able to do it convincingly, I snapped, “Everything’s fine!”
She shrugged and didn’t speak to me for the rest of the class. I was so pissed. If only Josephine fit in better with Fern, if only she liked something, anything, cool. I didn’t like lying, but at the same time Josephine did suck in a lot of ways. I mean, perpetuating those rumours about Fern and the devil worshipping? About having sex with her brother? Josephine had alienated herself by buying into that stuff and trying to make me dislike Fern. It was shitty of her to have done that, and all because she was jealous!
Still, I felt bad, and tried to be as nice as possible to her. I could tell she didn’t like my new hair, but she didn’t say anything about it. I felt as though Josephine and I were growing apart. Whatever. She had her stupid friends, and I had Fern. At this point, I wouldn’t have cared if I had to eat lunch alone. Aside from maintaining good grades, school was completely irrelevant to me.
xXx
Saturday arrived, and I did my best to doll up appropriately. I put on the red dress, black tights, and the high-heeled witchy boots. I put my hair up in pigtails and tried to emulate what Fern had done with my makeup the other day. In the end, I guess I probably caked on a little too much, but when I looked in the mirror, I liked it. I thought I looked good.
I watched Mom literally bite her lip to keep from saying something when I walked into the kitchen. “Those are nice boots,” she finally said.
Dad did his best to nod enthusiastically. “It’s nice to see you wearing some colour,” he said, glancing at Mom.
“Thanks,” I said. “Fern should be here soon.”
“So you don’t know what time the concert is over?”