They both paused, staring at me. I could tell they didn’t know what to say, and I congratulated myself for besting them. “Why don’t you let me go to the concert and see how it goes? See if my grades drop or if I mess up somehow. See if I come home on drugs or drunk. Then panic over the choices I’m making.”
“You don’t make the rules around here,” my mother said, but I had won. I could go to the concert. One condition was that we had to leave immediately after it was over and drive straight home, which I agreed to because how would they know? I had won myself a flexible night out, and I had out-thought my parents. I had lied to them about Josephine going along, but that was unimportant. What they didn’t know wasn’t going to hurt them. I recalled how drunk Josephine had been at the party and chuckled that my parents seemed to think that she was such a great influence.
xXx
Fern and I decided to meet downtown on Wednesday after school to go shopping for some stuff for the concert. Being a total loser has its benefits — I had a ton of allowance saved up. We met up outside one of the thrift stores. When she showed up, she looked tough and beautiful. I admired her dark purple eyeshadow and the amount of eyeliner and mascara she was wearing. I wasn’t allowed to wear powder or anything, and I felt so plain with my usual getup of light eyeliner and ChapStick.
“I wish my mother would let me wear more makeup,” I said.
“Why don’t you just put it on when she isn’t around? Do it at school in the morning or something,” Fern said. “My mom’s cool with the eye stuff, but she won’t let me wear dark lipstick. I wait till I leave the house and then put it on.”
Shopping with Josephine had never been competitive, and I worried that it might have been with me and Fern, but instead it was totally collaborative.
“Look at this,” she said, pulling a crimson dress off one of the racks. “This will look amazing on you when your hair’s black. With some red barrettes or a ribbon or something?”
I agreed. I usually looked for black clothes, and Fern was opening my eyes to a whole new level of ideas. I could wear pink, even, and make that look awesome. With lots of makeup and black hair . . .
“I need some shoes too,” I said once we had both chosen a few pieces of clothing.
We looked at the shoe section, and I scanned the shelves in my size for a tough pair of boots. “See, there aren’t any. I hate that.” I scuffled my feet. “I always wear these, and they’re my old winter boots.”
Fern studied the shelves. “How about these?” She pulled down a pair of black boots in my size. They had a pointy toe and a very feminine high heel. “These are cute as hell.”
They didn’t have any buckles and I wasn’t sure about the heel. “You think they’re cool?”
“Just because they aren’t masculine doesn’t mean they aren’t tough. These will work great with the clothes you have. Just do your hair awesome, wear tights, accessorize, and they’ll look great.”
They looked like witch boots. But was that so bad? I decided to get them. Even if I didn’t think they were that metal, it would still be nice to have a change of shoes for once. And I did trust Fern’s fashion sense.
At the drugstore, Fern picked out some makeup for me: foundation and powder, dark eyeshadows, and I chose a deep red lipstick. Then we went to the hair dye section. While Fern picked out a bleach, I scanned the boxes of black dye. One had a very pale girl with blood red lipstick. I chose that box based simply on how cool the girl looked. Well, that, and because it was relatively inexpensive.
We paid for the stuff and then, after grabbing a ticket for the concert at the record store, decided to head to Fern’s place. My stomach simmered with excitement as we walked together, my hands full of shopping bags. I felt like I was about to undergo a transformation. I knew I could hide the makeup from my mother, but I wouldn’t be able to hide my hair, and I was pretty confident that she would freak out when she saw it. But it would be too late by then for her to do anything about it.
xXx