Carlos’s face lights up so quickly. “What if I lose?”
“You call Raquel by her name from now on. No princess or whatever you’re used to calling her.” The coldness in his voice, in his request, again reminds me how icy Ares can be.
Carlos laughs loudly, surprising us all. No one says anything, I don’t think anyone moves. I open my mouth to tell him that he has no right to decide what others call me, but Carlos beats me to it.
“No.”
“What?”
“If it’s like that, then I won’t play.”
Ares stretches his hands. “Are you afraid of losing?”
“No, I’m a very funny person, but what I feel for her is no joke to me.”
Ares clenches his jaw. “What you feel for her?”
“That’s right, and it may not be reciprocated, but at least I have the courage to shout it out to everyone, and I don’t go around manipulating and creating stupid games to get what I want.”
The knuckles on Ares’s clenched fists turn white. Carlos smiles.
“Men fight for what they want openly; children act this way,” he says, pointing to Ares.
Ares holds back, and it seems to be so hard for him. Without a word, he turns around and walks out of the playroom, pulling the door shut behind him. I let out a sigh of relief. Carlos smiles at me as always.
Dani sits on the couch next to us and lets out a long breath. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”
Apolo wears an expression that I can’t quite make out. Is he angry? For the first time I can’t read his sweet face.
He turns to Carlos. “You were lucky, you shouldn’t have provoked him like that.”
“I’m not afraid of your brother,” Carlos replies, standing up.
Apolo smiles and it’s not sweet, it’s that cheeky grin the Hidalgos wear when they don’t like something.
“You talk a lot about maturity, but you just provoked someone to make yourself look like the mature one and the victim. Who’s the one playing stupid games? I’ll be right back.”
He leaves through the same door as Ares. Regardless of who’s right, Apolo will always be on Ares’s side. They’re brothers after all.
The enigmatic Hidalgo brothers.
THIRTY-NINE
The Feeling
Since I got home from Ares’s house, I haven’t moved from my bed. It’s been a few hours now. Night has fallen, it’s cold, and it’s starting to rain. A part of me feels guilty, and I don’t know why. We did the right thing by leaving. Besides, we didn’t want a fight between Carlos and Ares.
The rain always puts me in such a melancholy mood. I sit in the semidarkness, and my small lamp gives everything a yellow hue. My eyes are on the window watching the raindrops fall. Rocky is next to me on the floor with his muzzle on his front paws.
The rain gets heavier, so I get up to close my window. The last thing I need is for my whole room to get wet. Every time I go near those curtains, I remember the first times I interacted with Ares. When I reach the window, my heart stops.
Ares is sitting in that chair where I first saw him. He’s leaning forward, his hands holding the back of his head, and his eyes are fixed on the ground.
I blink in case I’m imagining him, but Ares is still sitting there, rain pouring down on him. He’s soaking wet, and his white shirt clings to his body like a second skin. What the fuck is he doing? It’s fall, for God’s sake; he might catch a cold.
“What are you doing?” I shout.
I have to repeat it and raise my voice because the sound of the rain drowns it out. Ares lifts his head to look at me. The sadness in his eyes takes my breath away for a second, then a sweet smile forms on his lips.
“Witch.”
“What are you doing there? You’re going to get sick.”
“Are you worrying about me?”
Why do you seem so surprised that I am?
“Of course,” I don’t even think to answer. Somehow, I’m offended that he thinks I don’t care at all.
He doesn’t say anything, just looks away. Is he going to stay there?
“Do you want to come in?” I ask. Regardless of our current situation, I can’t just leave him there, looking so sad. I know something’s wrong with him.
“I don’t want to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me, just behave while you’re here, and we’ll be fine.”
“Behave? What do you mean?”
“No seducing me and stuff.”
“Okay.” He raises his hand. “Word of a Greek god.”
He comes upstairs and as soon as he steps in my room, I realize that maybe this wasn’t a good idea for two reasons: one, because he looks fucking hot all wet, and, two, because he’s dripping all over my carpet.
“You have to take off those clothes.” He gives me a surprised look.
“I thought no seduction.”
I glance away. “You’re soaking wet. Don’t get any ideas! Take them off in the bathroom. I’ll see what I can find that fits you.”
Obviously, I can’t find anything that fits Ares, just a bathrobe that my mother was gifted some time ago and never wore. I stand in front of the bathroom door.
“I only found a robe.”
Ares opens the door and comes out in his boxers as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
Jesus Christ, he’s hot.
I blush and look away, extending my hand with the robe toward him until he grabs it.
“Are you blushing?”
“No,” I say, acting casual.
“Yes, you are, although I don’t understand why. You’ve already seen me naked.”
Don’t remind me!
“I’ll be right back,” I say.
He takes my hand, clear despair in his voice. “Where are you going?”
“I boiled milk to make hot chocolate.”
When I return, he’s sitting on the floor in front of the bed, playing with Rocky. Even my dog can’t resist him. He looks cuddly in that white bathrobe. I pass him his cup of hot chocolate and sit down next to him. Rocky comes over to lick my arm.
We sit in silence, sipping from our cups, watching the rain hit the window. Even though there’s enough space between our bodies for Rocky to pass between us, I still feel those nerves I get when he’s around. I look at him, and his eyes are absent, watching the window.
“Are you okay?” He looks down at the cup of chocolate in his hands.
“I don’t know.”
“What happened?”
“Some things.” He runs his finger along the rim of the cup. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” I let out a sigh.
“You know you can trust me, right?”
He looks at me and smiles. “I know.”
I don’t want to pressure him. I know that when he feels ready to tell me what’s happening, he will. For now, we sit, watching the rain with a cup of chocolate, and enjoy being together.
- ARES -
This feels good.
I never thought being quiet with someone could be so comforting. With Raquel even silence is different; everything with her has been so fucking different.
From the first time we talked, Raquel has been so unpredictable. I think that was the first thing that got my attention. When I expected a particular reaction from her, she would do something completely different, and that intrigued me. I enjoyed teasing her, making her blush, and seeing that wrinkle in her eyebrows when she gets angry. However, I never planned to feel anything else.
It’s just fun, I told myself so many times when I found myself grinning like an idiot thinking about her. I just smile like that because it’s fun, that’s all.
Lying to myself had been so easy, but it didn’t last for long. I knew I was in trouble when I started rejecting girls because I didn’t feel anything. It was as if Raquel had monopolized everything I felt, and that terrified me. I have always had control over my life, over what I want, over other people. Giving up that control was impossible; I couldn’t give it up to her.
I hurt her again and again. She took each blow, each hurtful word. I wanted to believe that she would give up, and my life would return to normal, but deep down I prayed that she wouldn’t, that she would wait a little longer until I sorted out my mess.
She waited, but she also got tired. Now she wants me to start from zero, to fight for her all over again.