“I can’t, but your dad is right, as usual.” Mom wraps her arms around both of us, and we indulge in a group family hug that helps to warm all the frozen parts of me. “And maybe we could visit?” she asks when we break our embrace.
I bite on my lower lip. “Lauren and Jonathon Mills showing up in Dublin might get reported, and I’m trying to keep a low profile. But we’ll see,” I add when Mom’s face drops. “Look at the positives.” I squeeze her hand. “You can take that role now.” They hadn’t recast it yet as they were begging Mom to reconsider so my decision works out best for everyone.
Dad glances at his Patek Philippe watch, as the door opens and our driver starts grabbing my bags. “If you still want to drop by Reeve’s house, you’ll need to hurry. We’ll be leaving in thirty minutes.”
I nod, gathering my courage and taking a deep breath. “I’ll go now, but I think I’ll walk.” I can work up the nerve to face him without breaking on the way over. It gives me an excuse to say what I want to say and leave, and if my resolve cracks, I have the ten-minute walk back to compose myself.
“Honey. Are you sure this is wise?” Mom asks.
“I can’t leave the country without telling him, Mom.”
“You don’t owe Reeve anything, Vivien.” Mom folds her arms, and I wonder if she’ll ever forgive him.
Reeve hasn’t just lost me.
He’s lost my parents too.
Considering my parents virtually raised him, it’s no small matter. From what I can see, Simon Lancaster is still keeping his son at arm’s length. Reeve has lost his support system, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about him. I’m betting he never stopped to consider that before he took molly and made out with that bitch.
And, just like that, my anger is back.
I’ve had moments of weakness, where his words and his gestures have almost broken through the fragile walls I’ve erected around my heart. Then I remember that video—and how everyone knows he cheated on me—and I lose any remaining compassion for my ex.
A tight pain spreads across my chest, and I rub at it, willing it to go away. It hurts so much to call him that. I still can’t believe he threw everything we had away for her. It’s like the nineteen years we shared meant nothing to him, and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him.
“Honey.” Mom gently grips my shoulders. “You can write him a letter, and I’ll see he gets it.”
I shake off my melancholy. “No, it’s okay. I’m going to speak with him.”
Mom still looks uncertain. Dad circles his arms around her waist from behind, and I hate that the loving gesture pierces me straight through the heart. Reeve used to do that to me. Most likely he was subconsciously copying my dad, and I wonder if every time I see a couple engaged in PDA it will feel like someone is tearing strips off my annihilated heart. “Let Vivien do what she needs to do. Besides, I think Reeve needs to know. Otherwise, he may chase after her.”
Like hell will he come anywhere near me. I’m doing this for my sanity. To get away from him and the media attention. If the hottest new movie star suddenly appeared on the streets of Dublin, I’m sure the Irish people would sit up and take notice, and my cover would be blown.
Reeve is not ruining this fresh start for me. I won’t let him.
With fresh determination, I stride with purpose toward his house.
26
My hand shakes as I press the bell, rocking back on my heels at Reeve’s front door. It’s strange to be waiting to be admitted when I’m used to having a key and letting myself in at all hours of the day and night.
The housekeeper opens the door, her eyes widening when she spots me.
“Hi, Mrs. Thompson. Is Reeve home?” I know he’s here, because the premiere is tomorrow night and he texted me last night to tell me he was home. He begged me to attend it with him, but I told him a firm no. How the fuck could he expect me to walk the red carpet with that bitch? I’d be up on a murder charge before the end of the night. It’s a moot point anyway. We’re broken up, and I won’t be walking any more red carpets with Reeve. The thought saddens me, but there’s no going back now.
He also asked if we could talk, so he’ll probably be ecstatic to discover I’m here.
“Hello, Vivien.” Her smile is laced with pity, and I loathe it. I know she means well, but I hate that everyone knows he cheated on me. I force out a tight smile, and she steps aside to grant me entry. “Mr. Lancaster is here. He’s eating breakfast in the sunroom if you’d like to join him.”
“Thank you.” Stepping inside, I set my key down on the hallway table. Won’t be needing that anymore. Acid churns in my gut, and my heart jackhammers behind my rib cage as I walk through familiar hallways and rooms. Stopping outside the door to the sunroom, I wipe my clammy palms down the front of my skinny jeans, willing my thumping heart to slow down. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, trying to compose myself. Briefly, I consider fleeing, because now I’m here I don’t know if I can do this. I could write him a letter in the car on the way to the airport and avoid seeing him.
A subtle whooshing of air as the door opens confirms it’s too late to make an escape. Drawing a brave breath, I open my eyes, coming face to face with the man who broke my heart into itty-bitty pieces.
We stare at one another, and it’s painful beyond belief. Tension bleeds into the air, mixing with the usual spark of electricity. Where once our connection comforted me, now all it does is exacerbate the agony. I dig my nails into the sides of my jeans to ignore the almost insurmountable urge to wrap my arms around him. Physically, my body still needs to get with the program. Reeve is breathtakingly handsome, even with punishing shadows under his eyes, a thick five-o’clock shadow, and the anguished expression etched on his face. His gorgeous blue gaze drills into mine, and his eyes turn glassy with emotion.
“Viv,” he whispers. “You came.” A hint of a cautious smile tugs up the corners of his mouth as he reaches for me.
Taking a step back, I avert my eyes and shake my head, gulping over the lump clogging my throat. Every part of me is in agony. Pain ravages me from the inside, and I wrap my arms around my torso, silently coaxing myself to just say my piece and get out of here.
“I miss you,” he adds, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the door frame. His accompanying sigh is heavy with emotion.
Reinforcing the walls around my heart, I lift my chin and pull my shoulders back, letting my arms drop to my side. I’m not going to fall apart in front of him again. “I miss you too, but it changes nothing.”
His smile disappears. “Why are you here then?”
“I came to tell you I’m leaving.”
He frowns, straightening up a little. “Leaving? Leaving for where?”
I had considered being vague, but I know Reeve. His stubbornness is legendary. If I don’t tell him, he’ll make it his mission to find out, and I can’t have him showing up in Ireland unannounced.
“I’m moving to Dublin, Ireland. My plane leaves at noon.”
Shock splays across his face, and he just stares at me for several tense seconds. Dragging his hands repeatedly through his hair, he asks. “How? Why? For how long?”
“UCLA has a transfer program with Trinity College Dublin. It’s usually for junior year students, but Dad knows the president, and he made it happen for me. I’m going to complete my sophomore spring semester there.” Normally, I hate relying on my parent’s contacts. I like to be as independent as possible and to achieve things on my own merits. But this is a unique situation, and there is no way I would be leaving if Dad hadn’t pulled strings and Doug Simmonds hadn’t personally arranged it with Trinity.