“You have no business being a guard.”
“Excuse me?” He was one-hundred percent correct, because I was a complete scaredy cat. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to agree with him to his face. Not after he’d just laid my pride on a log and slammed a freaking sledgehammer into it.
“You want to explain that one to me?” I tightened my hold on my mug, trying to keep my voice low so Jamie wouldn’t come running out of his room.
Garrett didn’t back down. “You’re what, five foot three? A buck thirty, soaking wet?”
“Five foot five, actually.” As if that tiny detail mattered in the least.
“Where.” The word was wrapped in aggression, and it made the air around us thicken to an almost unbearable level. My shoulders drew up, and in my peripheral, Layla straightened to attention.
Fighting back my body’s conditioned response to livid men, I took a shaky sip of coffee. It was still too hot and burned my tongue, but I ignored the pain, refusing to let him see how much his tone had unsettled me. “The community college.”
“And what exactly will you be doing?”
“Patrolling the campus.”
“Alone.”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered like it was anyway. “Yes.”
“Unarmed.” Another statement.
“I’ll have Mace,” I snapped. He was hitting on every insecurity I already had about the job, and it pissed me off. I didn’t need to be reminded that I was doing something I didn’t feel qualified to be doing.
“Mace,” he scoffed, shoving off the stool and prowling around the counter toward me. I retreated a step, heart rate increasing, but he kept stalking closer until we were chest to stomach, my back pressed against the fridge.
“Go ahead, Madison.” His face loomed inches above my own, “Reach for an imaginary Mace canister at your side. Let’s see if you can do it before I incapacitate you.”
My chest started heaving, my blood pressure building to an unhealthy point, and angry tears stung the corners of my eyes. I raised one arm to the side, holding up a hand to stop Layla, who looked ready to castrate the man in front of me.
Never looking away from him, I moved, but I didn’t go for anything imaginary. I shot my hands straight up, wrapping them around the sides of his head, and pressing my thumbs over his eyelids—not enough to hurt, just to make a point that I could.
His hands clutched my waist, making it impossible to pull away. I rammed my knee up into his thigh, just to the side of his groin, and he grunted.
Slipping my hands farther up, I grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and yanked his head down. Several silent tears had escaped, trailing down my flushed cheeks, but I still looked him straight in the face. His grip on my waist immediately slackened to a gentle hold.
“I feel like we’ve been here before,” I whispered, doing the opposite of him, and tightening my grip, “with you assuming something about me and looking like an asshole.”
I tilted my head, sucking on my teeth. “You’re right, I’m no match against a man of your size who truly wants to do me harm, but I’m not without claws. I may not win, but you better believe I fight back now.”
More tears fell, the angle of my head causing them to drip over my lips, and his eyes flared, fixated on my mouth. “Madison—”
We were suddenly jarred to the side when a body slammed into his, catching us unaware and knocking him to the side. He’d barely centered his footing, holding me upright along with him, when the same small body shoved between us, pushing against Garrett’s chest with all his might.
“You get away from her!”
I darted forward, snatching Jamie’s flailing limbs and wrapping my arms around him from behind. “Stop! Stop, Jamie! He’s not hurting me.”
His arms fell, and I hugged him harder, trying not to sob at the shaking I could feel coursing through his frame. “I’m fine. I promise, I’m fine.”
Unlocking my arms, I twisted him, planting my hands on his cheeks, and making him meet my eyes. “Garrett wasn’t trying to hurt me. I’m safe, okay? You’re safe.”
He nodded, but I could tell he didn’t quite believe me as he wrapped his arms around me in a strangling hug.
Movement over his head caught my eye, and I looked up to see Layla ushering Garrett to the door. His face had shut down, his signature flat expression in place. I locked eyes with him and silently mouthed, “It’s all right.”
I stood there long after they left, hugging my child and staring at the abandoned coffee mugs on the bar, wishing I could remove every bad memory from his head. Every heartache, every fear, every pain. All of it. I wanted to write a book with a perfect, magical world and transport him there where nothing could ever hurt him.
There was nothing crueler than wanting to give someone everything and knowing you couldn’t. Knowing you were already predetermined to fail at it from the very beginning but trying your damnedest to succeed anyway.
Chapter Thirteen
I’d been worried for no reason. Patrolling the campus was, by far, one of the easiest jobs I’d ever had. It felt like I was being paid to be on vacation. No one was talking to me, touching me, or asking me questions. I wasn’t studying, and bonus, I was getting exercise.
It was amazing.
Obviously, there was the chance something could go wrong. The campus was closed besides a couple of straggling professors, so yes, unwelcome people could show up and cause an issue, but I’d decided to see the glass as half full for once. I was determined to enjoy the small sunlight the sky had finally bestowed upon me.
It was a surprisingly calm day, the eastern breeze napping for the time being. Wearing a beanie and a thin black jacket over my uniform, I was warm and comfortable as I made my way to the next building.
The only terrifying thing to happen to me so far occurred during my walk-through of my second building. I happened to be standing next to a maintenance room when the heater kicked on, and I almost jumped out of my shoes, I ran so fast. And once you’ve had a kid, being scared is no joke. I nearly peed myself.
Thinking about Jamie put a damper on my mood. The other night had been a hard one, but an important one in a way. When we’d finally left the kitchen, we’d curled up on my bed and talked about what he’d seen and how it’d made him feel.
I’d explained that Garrett had just been worried about my safety and hadn’t gone about it in the right way, but that didn’t mean he wanted to, or would ever, hurt me.
It shouldn’t have been as easy to admit as it was, because by all accounts I didn’t actually know my neighbor all that well. I didn’t know his past, other than his military history and the little he’d said about his parents.
But the thing that stuck with me was he didn’t put his hands on me other than to hold me steady. He didn’t shake me and demand I not go even though he might’ve wanted to. He’d simply pushed me metaphorically to see the truth for myself.
It’d been a dick move, and in the end, it hadn’t been necessary since I’d already been second-guessing the shift, but I understood the intention behind his method, as stupid of a method as it was. Hopefully it wouldn’t be an issue here soon anyway.
I had no desire to take many guard shifts. I could use the extra income, but I didn’t need it to survive. I just needed to get through each day until graduation, when I could hopefully get a full-time job and quit all these others.
God, I couldn’t wait to graduate. A higher-paying job wasn’t a given, I knew that. I also knew how hard it was for females to get a job in my field. But I was determined, and I had a thing for proving people wrong.