And me, I stay up long after everyone else goes to bed, not falling asleep until dawn. I don’t trust myself to be up with the sun. But…I haven’t gilded anything. Not a single time. Not even while I’ve laid asleep in the bed. My borrowed clothes are the same brown and black color as before, the blankets and furs on the bed untouched by my power.
I don’t know what that means, but I’m silently stewing in worry, avoiding the topic at all costs.
When I woke up in that cave and felt the power coursing through me, I just needed it to stop. To be shut away. Because my gold can’t be trusted. Especially not that facet I’ve never even known that I was capable of before.
Now…now it seems like it’s broken completely. As if whatever I did in Ranhold that night has changed my gold-touch irreparably. But I’m just going to focus on getting stronger physically for now. So I sleep the daylight away instead of obsessively worrying about why my gold-touch seems to have dried up.
“You’re looking at your feet again.”
Judd’s voice makes my head wrench up. “Sorry.”
“Can’t have your eyes buried into the ground,” he tells me. “Or the beam. Now take three steps forward. No looking.”
I bite my lip, fighting every instinct to look down. The wooden beam beneath my feet must be at least ten feet long. When I came into the Teeth yesterday, it was waiting for me in the very middle of the room. I can’t even imagine how heavy it must be. When I asked Judd, he said Slade and Ryatt had brought it in earlier for me. I’m a bit disappointed that I missed the sight of them carrying it.
For the past two days, I have been doing nothing but these beam exercises. It’s forcing me to re-learn how to balance. I’ve fallen off more times than I can count. My legs ache, the arches of my feet feel sprained, and even my toes are sore. But I don’t quit.
“One,” Judd counts as I place one foot in front of the other. “Two, three... Good.”
He walks the length of the beam on the ground beside me, the blue light of the Teeth’s jaw casting a long shadow behind him.
“Now I want you to turn around and walk three steps the other way.”
I groan. “Do I have to?”
Judd laughs. “Come on, Gildy.”
He’s had me do this very move so many times, but I always lose my damn balance. My body still wants to rely on the ribbons that are no longer there. Still, I force myself to twist my back foot and spin around...only to go pitching right off the beam and landing ass-first in the needling hay on the ground.
They’re pokey. It doesn’t feel great.
I let out a growl of frustration, slapping my hand against the beam and then getting even more aggravated when tiny splinters break off into it. I yank off my glove and toss it to the floor.
“Again.”
I cut Judd a look. “I hate you.”
“Gotta walk before you can run, Gildy. Or in your case, gotta balance before you can stop falling on your ass.”
“Thank you for bestowing that wisdom.”
He dusts off the shoulder of his black coat. “Anytime.”
I stand back up onto the beam, trying to ignore my throbbing feet and smarting ankles, my arms automatically lifting up to try and steady my balance. The muscles in my legs tighten to keep me steady.
“Walk all the way to the end.”
I nod and go slowly, but my eyes flick down to double-check I’m not about to go walking right off the edge.
“I saw that. No peeking.”
I swear this man has an uncanny ability to know where I’m looking. Yanking my eyes back up, I keep my line of sight at the other end of the cave.
“Don’t overthink it. There you go... Now stop and turn.”
I do it without thought, spinning on the ball of my foot...and I actually don’t fall over. Instead, my other foot plants perfectly in front of the one I just swiveled, and then before I know it, I’m successfully facing the other way.
My eyes go wide, and a huge grin comes over my face. “I did it!”
“Very good,” he says with a clap. “Now let’s do that ten more times.”
My smile melts right off my face. “Shouldn’t we just end on this high note?”
“Nice try,” he says, walking up to be parallel with me. “Now that we know you can do it, you’re going to master it.”
Judd isn’t kidding about doing it ten times. I probably do it about forty more times in all, because he doesn’t count it if I fall or flail or stumble.
The jerk.
By the time I manage to complete my tenth one, I collapse on the ground, knees up in front of me, elbows leaning on them as I drop my head toward my lap and pant. I’m covered in sweat and splinters, and my feet are killing me.
“My ankles feel like they want to burst through my skin.”
“You did well,” Judd says, coming up to me and passing me some water.
I guzzle it down, not even caring that some of it drips from the sides of my lips and goes down my chin. When I hand it back to him, I say, “Thanks for pushing me, Judd.”
“Anytime. Now, don’t forget to get some snow and use it to ice your feet and legs. Because tomorrow, we’ll be doing more beam work.”
I groan, rubbing my spasming calf. “I hate icing them.”
“But it helps.”
“It does,” I relent. Not only does Hojat help to ice my sore muscles, but he’s also been placing snow packs on my back. As much as I hate it while it’s on, it really has helped a lot.
“Ready to go?”
I nod, and when I take Judd’s hand for him to help haul me to my feet, I don’t even flinch. Already, I’m getting more used to touch. It’s strange how much has changed in such a short amount of time.
Together, we leave the cracked entrance of the Teeth, spilling out into the main cave of the Grotto. As soon as we do, I see a figure striding for us, and even though my eyes don’t adjust right away, my body knows exactly who it is.
When Slade’s close enough that I can see the shadowed lines of his face, his intent attention spills my heartbeat into a scattered runoff.
“You’re limping,” he says by way of greeting, stopping in front of us.
“I’m okay, my feet are just sore.”
“I told her to ice them,” Judd tells him. “But she did good today. Her balance has already improved. She’s ready to move on as soon as her back is a bit more healed up.”
Slade nods, and I can see approval cast over his expression. “I’d like to take you somewhere, if you’re willing.”
My brows lift in surprise, and my pulse picks up in pace. It seems like he’s been avoiding me. We share dinner together with the others, but he always goes off to do things while I fall asleep on my own, and then I wake up the same. The only indication that he’s actually stayed in there with me is that the fire is always tended to, the pillow on his side always indented. I can’t really blame him though. I’m the one sleeping away the day.
“It will be something relaxing, I promise,” he tells me, obviously picking up on my hesitation.
“Okay,” I say with a nod, though I feel guilty for making it seem like he has to convince me. He’s still feeling really guilty about the whole rot thing. “I’d like that.”
Relief flashes through his eyes just before Judd claps us both on the shoulders. “You two have relaxing fun. I’m off to go make Lu play cards with me. She got all my money again last night.” He turns and walks off, his silhouette disappearing in the direction of the house.
I look up at Slade, very aware that we’re alone. We haven’t been alone, not really. Not since I woke up in that cave and practically jumped him.
Clearing my throat, I ask, “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Then he turns and kneels down in front of me. “Hop on.”
I blink. “What?”
“I saw your grimace every time you took a step. I want to carry you, but I don’t want to hurt your back. So hop on.”
My feet shift in place, but even that sends a shock of pain down my arches. “Are you sure?”
He glances at me over his shoulder. “Am I sure that I want your body pressed against mine while I carry you so that you’re not in pain? Yes.”
I can’t help but feel a little thrill at the way he looks at me.