He doesn’t have anything to say to that. He lets me tug him out of his bedroom and across the hall into my flat. Next to his dark, messy lair, my living room is like some kind of pink-papered paradise, clean and warm and full of light. I shove him onto the sofa, hand him the TV remote, and go to the fridge to get us both a drink.
When I get back with two bottles of beer, he hasn’t moved. He’s staring blankly at the wall opposite, his jaw working. I can practically feel the sharp fragments of his grief splintering through the quiet room.
“Josh,” I say quietly.
He looks up at me. His eyes are dry, but he’s breathing hard.
I plop onto the sofa next to him. “Lie down.” When he doesn’t move, I push him down, curling against his broad chest. His arms wrap around me automatically, and he buries his face in my hair, breathing me in. For a while, we just lie together in the quiet, dim room. Eventually, he falls asleep, his body finally relaxing underneath mine. It’s way too early for me to sleep, but I just arrange him a bit more comfortably, watching over him as the sun sets outside the window. My heart feels like it’s bursting.
TRANSCRIPT
THREE SINGLE GUYS EPISODE 448: LET’S TALK ABOUT TEXT
ZACK: So, this is the end of week four of our experiment. Today, we focussed on your sexting skills. Layla, what did we learn?
LAYLA:… that if a guy sends a grey sweatpants pic, don’t respond with the magnifying glass emoji.
ZACK: Or?
LAYLA: The laughing face emoji.
ZACK: And? What else?
LAYLA: (sighs) That if a boy says ‘send nudes’, they’re supposed to be pictures of me.
JOSH: Although to be fair, that basketball player did have a very nice bum. (Papers rustling). Do you want to know what this week’s lesson will be about?
LAYLA: Amaze me.
JOSH: Well, for the listeners following along at home, we’ve already gone over the first meeting, flirting, the second date, and messaging etiquette. By this point, you should have a good surface understanding of your partner. Now, it’s time to take things to the next level by introducing them into your personal life.
LUKE: Vulnerability is a key factor in intimacy. This is the way you’re going to forge strong emotional ties, so it’s a vital part of dating, and one that a lot of us struggle with.
LAYLA: Yikes. I should have told you earlier. I have no feelings. I am a hollow shell of a human, sorry.
JOSH: (Ignores her) So, for this next phase of our experiment, we’re going to be digging a little deeper. We’ve all come up with an activity that will let Layla into our personal lives.
LUKE: I’ll go first. As lots of you know, my ex-wife is getting married in a week’s time. I’ve been invited to the wedding, and I’m inviting Layla as my plus-one. If you’d like to come, sweetheart?
(Long pause)
LAYLA: Um, yeah, I’ll give it a go. I’ve never been to a wedding before.
LUKE: They’re awful.
LAYLA: We can trauma bond, then.
JOSH: Jumping off from Luke’s idea — L, my entire extended family will be at the wedding, and I’d like you to meet them. If it’s okay, I’ll arrange a spot for you at our after-wedding breakfast. Meeting the family is always a stressful part of a new relationship, so I think this would be a good exercise.
LAYLA: Oh, God. Um, okay.
JOSH: You don’t want to? I promise to fake a migraine if you want to leave.
LAYLA: That’s so romantic, babe. No, just… prepare for everyone to hate me. I’m not good with families.
ZACK: Or people in general, as we have learned over the last few episodes.
LAYLA: Alright, Zack, what do you have?
ZACK: Well, my gorgeous co-host, I will be introducing you to the world of sexual vulnerability. ‘S important to learn to let go of control in bed, and I would be more than happy to give you a personal demonstration.
LAYLA:… I have to admit, I don’t think you’re trying as hard as the others.
ZACK: Oh, I’ll try plenty hard, my little Bundt cake. Don’t you worry about that.
LAYLA: Bundt cake?
ZACK: Aye. Like, one with cream frosting. ‘Cause after I take you from behind it looks like —
LUKE: (Interrupting) Actually, Zack, ever since Layla’s suggestion the other week, we’ve had a ton of requests for you to do that episode on grieving a partner. If you’re willing, that would be a good option.
ZACK: (Brief pause) I don’t know how that’s gonna teach the lady how to find a guy. Are you grieving, Layla?
LAYLA: Only the loss of my dwindling reputation. It drops with every innuendo you make.
ZACK: You make stockings and garters, lass. I bet your sales would only go up if I told the listeners at home about how that new push-up from your collection makes your boobs look like a pair of pillows in a—
JOSH: (claps once into mic) Note to self — edit this out. Layla, stop giggling.
ZACK: Aw, c’mon.
JOSH: (claps again into mic) Restart.
LUKE: It actually would be a good dating exercise. If we’re talking about being vulnerable with partners, discussing relationship grief is a perfect example of that. And I know it would be helpful to the listeners, too. If you—
(Sound of a chair scraping back)
ZACK: The answer is no. Stop bloody asking.
(Door slams).
LUKE: Ah.
TWITTER
Couture Urban @Couture_Urban_Magazine ?
New in ethical fashion: Layla Thompson is taking the UK lingerie market by storm with Her Treat, a company focussed on creating cute, affordable, exploitation-free undies. Check out our interview with her below ?
PodFest @LDN_PodFest ?
NEWS JUST IN! Due to popular demand, we’ve upgraded the @ThreeSingleGuys live show venue! There are now 200 extra tix available, but they’re going fast!! Get in quick
Sweetheart Soulmates @SweetheartSoulmatesPodcast
@ThreeSingleGuys latest episodes are what’s wrong with modern ‘progressive’ views. Since when was it acceptable for a woman to publicly date three men? A disgusting example to set for the impressionable youth listening…
Briar Saint @TheRealBriarSaint ?
Spent all my downtime on set today listening to @ThreeSingleGuys and laughing my makeup off. They’ve got a great episode on group relationships, I think I’m gonna start sending it to nosy journalists. Give them a listen here. Xo
FORTY-FOUR
JOSH
“The numbers are through the roof,” Paul crows down the phone. “God, I’m so glad I picked this project to back. I knew you guys would pull it off.”
“Uh huh,” I say blandly, staring through Layla’s bedroom door. While I’m stuck taking calls in her living room, all of the others are in there, packing for my brother’s wedding tomorrow. The week since Mother’s day has gone by in a blur of interviews and sponsorships and social media frenzy, and the wedding date crept up on me way sooner than I expected. The ceremony isn’t until tomorrow afternoon, but since I’m the best man, I’ll have to be available from early morning, so we’re driving to the hotel tonight.
I can’t wait. I’m excited for Rob to get married — but honestly, the wedding isn’t the main thing on my mind. I’m mostly looking forward to spending some time away with Layla. She’s been working so hard, for so long, that me and the other guys arranged a little surprise for her. We’ve booked out a special suite at the hotel, and extended our stay for four nights, so we can have a proper mini-break. Since Layla won’t accept money from us, we figured we may as well splash out to spoil her a little.
But first, I have to deal with our manager.
“And did you see what Sweetheart Soulmates tweeted?” Paul laughs. “They called you all disgusting! Can you believe it?”
“Yeah. I mean, no.” As I watch, Layla saunters past her bedroom door in a little red slip. A half-naked Luke grabs at her, pulling her onto the bed with him. She climbs up onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck, and starts rubbing up against his crotch.