When I come back to Earth, I’m panting and dripping, still on all fours on the bed. Josh carefully slides out from under me, pressing kisses up my neck. Luke steps forwards and pushes me gently onto the sheets. “Good girl,” he practically purrs into my ear, wrapping me in his arms. Gasping, I look across at him. He looks utterly satisfied, his silvery hair mussed and his eyes fuzzy with pleasure. It’s so hot it makes me throb all over again. “You’re perfect. So perfect.”
I snuggle into him wordlessly.
There’s a low groan over my head, then Zack slumps down at our side, breathing hard.
“Shit,” he crows. “This is gonna change the game, isn’t it?”
TRANSCRIPT
THREE SINGLE GUYS EPISODE 447: THREE BECOME FOUR
JOSH: Hello everyone, and welcome back to episode 447 of Three Single Guys. First of all, I’d like to congratulate Beth, Cyrus, Sebastian and Jack on their engagement. They’ve emailed into the show several times over the years, and we just received news that they’re finally tying the knot, so congratulations!
ZACK: And thanks for sending another wedding invite for Josh to add to the weird collage he has on his bedroom wall.
JOSH: Shh. Now, this week, we polled our listeners to see what you’d like to see in next month’s episodes. Aside from the numerous people who suggested we all make a sex tape…
LAYLA: You wish, creeps.
JOSH: …The number one request was that Luke join in the segment.
LAYLA: Hey, did I mention that I used my womanly wiles and convinced Luke to join the segment?
LUKE: It was your womanly wiles, was it?
LAYLA: Yep. I batted my eyelashes at you, and you fell at my feet. Now I have three fake boyfriends. I guess this means my lessons are working, right?
LUKE: I stand by my statement that you never needed lessons. But, yes, from now on, I will be joining in this asinine experiment.
JOSH: We love you, too. Let’s see… the second biggest request is that Zack do an episode on grieving a partner. Layla, I believe this was your idea, wasn’t it?
LAYLA: Only if you want to. You guys get so many questions about grief, I think you could lead a whole episode on it.
ZACK: (Doesn’t respond)
JOSH: ... okay. I guess that’s a no. We also had several people saying that Layla should join our listener advice segment. So, while you’re here, love, would you like to read out a listener email? I’ve got one for you right here.
LAYLA: Sure. (Paper rustles). Okay. ‘My boyfriend’s always asking me to ride his face — but I’m a bigger girl, and I’m worried I might hurt him. From Curvy in Kentucky.’ Okay, babe. I don’t know how strong the human head is, and I don’t think it matters. There’s no weight capacity. Just sit on his face, and if he dies, he dies.
JOSH: (Coughs violently)
ZACK: Damn straight. Bury him alive. Lucky guy.
LUKE: The human head can withstand up to about five hundred pounds of pressure. But that’s not really a weight limit, since in this position, you’d be kneeling, with your weight balanced on your knees. If you struggle to hold your balance, try holding onto your headboard.
LAYLA: Nope. Don’t listen to him. You don’t have to kneel. Sit on his mouth like a throne. Enjoy your ride, doll. Josh, do you need some water?
JOSH: I’m fine. I just didn’t realise you were so experienced at sitting on guys’ faces.
LAYLA: I’m not at all, actually. Hopefully, I will be one day. Very, very soon.
(A brief pause. A chair scrapes back)
LUKE: Alright, I think we’re done for the day. You’re coming with me.
JOSH: Thanks for emailing, Curvy in Kentucky. You’ve given us a lot to think about.
TWITTER
Saff @Saffron.Martins
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! LUKE IS JOINING THE SEGMENT!! ? ? #TeamLuke all the way
Eli @eli_the_ski_god ?
they totally f*cked after that last episode lmao. Get it guys
Daisy @daisywhittakerart
Can’t wait for the next episode of @ThreeSingleGuys to drop, why am I so invested in the dating lives of four strangers???
Karen @KarenAMullaly
Wait, is she seriously sleeping with three guys?? That’s so disgusting. unsubscribing
Hamish @HamishKostoIsBoss
.@SweetheartSoulmatesPodcast Looks like Three Single Guys knocked you off the charts :(
FORTY-TWO
LAYLA
There are three big holidays in the lingerie world: Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and Mother’s Day, in that order. Usually, Mother’s Day is the least of my concerns — I’m still struggling to get over the post-Valentines rush — but this year is different. Because this year, I have almost six times as many buyers than I’ve ever had before.
The last week leading up to the holiday is absolutely hectic. Orders are through the roof. I’m sending out last-minute shipments multiple times a day. Sifting through invoices. Fixing website problems and customer complaints. Running the Mother’s Day sale social media campaigns. Pink Pearl Silks have finally shipped my order of lace, so my production team have been working overtime to get back on schedule, and Josh sat down with me and managed to fix the issues with my email campaigns.
On top of that, I’ve had to get my application in for the Anna Bardet scholarship. I finally found the invitation email buried in my spam folder. I didn’t have enough time to come up with a whole set of new designs, so instead I submitted a few excerpts from my upcoming Butterfly collection. I seriously doubt that I’ll win the scholarship, but if I do, it’ll be great marketing.
What with everything going on, I can barely find enough time to record the episodes with the guys, let alone go on proper dates with them. We make it work, though. In the evenings, the boys drop in with some food, to check on me and force me to eat. Other times, they just sit with me, chatting, signing merch, doing their own thing. I always used to worry that when I started dating, my future boyfriend might get needy or annoyed when I dropped off the radar for work, but the guys understand. They know I’m not ignoring them on purpose. And when I need a break, they’re there for me, too.
My busy schedule has not gotten in the way of my ‘bedroom classes’, as Zack likes to call them. And now that all four of us are sleeping together, they’ve really become next-level. I think I’ve been screwed in every room in my flat. Last weekend, I blew Luke in the shower when he snuck in after my morning run. Later that day, Zack made me dinner, then laid me out on the kitchen table and ate me out for forty-five straight minutes for ‘dessert’.
On Thursday evening, they all take turns. Josh takes me first, laying me flat on the bed and pounding me hard and fast until we’re both coming hard. Then, before I can catch my breath, Zack takes over, spreading my legs wide apart and drilling into me mercilessly. When he comes, his release is so hard I swear I can feel his heat splashing inside me, coating my walls. Then, while I’m still squirming and dripping, Luke takes over, positioning his body over mine and screwing me like a piston, our eyes locked the whole time. I’m already so full that I’m squelching with every thrust, the come inside me frothing and dribbling out onto my thighs. When he finally spills inside me, my release is so strong I feel my vision black out for a few seconds. He pulls out gently, leaving me sore and gasping and absolutely overflowing with the boys’ cooling seed.
That night, I dream of what they did to me. I wake up hot and sweaty and sopping wet, and have to drag myself across the hall to their flat and wake them up for a repeat performance.