“And when is Josh coming in?” my mother asked me.
“Mom—” I started.
“I’m here, Sally,” said Josh from beside her.
All of the hope I’d been feeling vanished: the IV hadn’t really done that much. And I still hadn’t asked her why she’d spent the night in the park instead of trying to walk back—though part of me already knew the answer. She’d been too confused to make a decision.
And that was the most terrifying part of all.
I stole a glance at Piper, who was suddenly incredibly busy arranging the flowers Josh had just brought.
“That’s right,” said my mother. “And there’s my Laine.” She patted the bed beside her. “Come sit over here and tell me all about your dog.” Her face fell faster than my own did, but it was too little, too late. “Oh dear.” But then her eyes lit up again. “What did you do with the kittens? I hope they’re all right.”
“Ben has them,” I reminded her. “He’s going to take them to the vet for us.”
“Thank you,” said my mother. “Do you think we can keep one?”
“We?” I said.
“You’re coming back home, aren’t you? I need help, after all.” She smiled tightly. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now, would I?”
My sisters were already staring at me when I looked over at them.
I swallowed hard. “I need to talk to Hadley and Piper, Mom.”
My mother’s fingers gripped my hand. “I’m so looking forward to spending more time with you, love. I really am sorry about our little kerfuffle the other day.”
So she remembered that. But it didn’t make me feel any better. “I am, too, Mom, but I don’t think any of us should be making big decisions right now. It’s been a very long day.”
“Laine, love, that upstairs apartment is the best deal in Brooklyn. Why, did you know Mary is renting out her garden floor for more than three thousand a month? I’ll charge you a fraction of that.”
She’d forgotten Hadley’s offer to cover part of the rent, though neither that nor the discount were the real draw.
If I moved in, I’d be just down the block from Ben. And I’d be lying if I said the possibility of seeing him whenever I wanted to wasn’t incredibly appealing.
But the real issue was that I screwed up in leaving my mother alone without someone to watch her. She could have been mugged, or worse. She could have sat there for days without water.
She could have died.
Didn’t I owe it to her to make sure that never happened again?
“Girls, wouldn’t you love having your sister here with us in New York again?” my mother said.
“You know we would,” said Piper.
“Obviously,” said Hadley. “But Lainey already said she was going to stay with you for a while, Mom, so we don’t need to discuss this right now. We’ll take it one step at a time.”
“Yes,” I said slowly. “We’ll talk about this later. Don’t worry about it right now, okay?”
My mother smiled so broadly that it pained me to look at her.
“I’m not worried, Lainey,” she said, leaning her head against my shoulder. “I know you’ll do the right thing.”
It was dim when Josh and I got back to the apartment that night. We’d just gotten to the front door when my eyes landed on the bodega.
“I need to tell Bashir we found Mom,” I told him. “You head in—I’ll be back in ten. Need anything?”
“Nope,” he said. “I’m good.”
“Great. Be right back.”
A young man I’d never seen before was behind the counter when I went inside. “Is Bashir in?” I asked, and he shook his head. “Know when he’ll be back?” I asked as I put the bag of chips and the sparkling water I’d just selected onto the counter.
“Nope,” said the man.
I felt unduly disappointed; it wasn’t like I couldn’t come back later. “Thanks,” I said.
“No worries. Bag?” said the man.
“Of course she needs a bag,” called Bashir, emerging from the door to the stockroom. “Lainey! Hello!” he said as I spun around. Even in June, he was dressed in his usual uniform: a pastel button-down, a pair of khaki pants, and an apron with scissors, pencils, and various other tools sticking out of its pockets. His skin was as wrinkled as worn leather, and his eyes were cloudy. But his familiar smile hadn’t changed, and it warmed me from deep within. “Dino’s new,” he said, nodding at the man behind the counter. “He doesn’t know that he should never pretend I’m not here when a Francis is asking.”
I laughed. “It’s so great to see you, Bashir. I came by to tell you that we found my mother.”
“I’m so glad! I knew you would,” he said in his accented English. “How long was she gone?”
“Overnight,” I said. “We found her in Prospect Park.”
“Oh, Lainey. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said, but then I caught myself. “It’s not, really.”
“I know,” he said. “You have a moment?”
I nodded.
“Then let’s go outside,” he said.
It was officially dark out, but the corner was lit up with the streetlight and Bashir’s sign. There was a trio of kids on the bench in front of the store. He greeted them by name, then pulled a couple pieces of candy from his apron, handed them to the kids, and waved them off. Then he and I sat down beside each other.
“So what will you do about your mother?” he asked.
Across the street, Ben’s windows were dark. I wondered where he was and what he was doing. In just a short period of time, he’d taken over much of my mental space. And though that did make me a little anxious—what if this new friendship we were embarking on didn’t have legs?—I still wanted him there. “I might be moving back to help take care of her,” I said to Bashir.
“No kidding!” he exclaimed.
“Someone’s got to do it,” I said, and now I was looking at my mother’s brownstone. “How bad has she seemed to you? I know you were worried when she came over in her nightgown to buy cat food.”
“Eh, Sally’s always been zany,” said Bashir, but I swear he was blushing a little. “Do you remember Mrs. Collins? Your friend Ben’s upstairs neighbor?”
It was my turn to blush. “I do.”
“She’s not as bad as Mrs. Collins was when her memory started slipping away. But you girls aren’t wrong to be thinking about what to do to keep her safe. You really might move back to Brooklyn, eh? I never thought I’d see the day.”
I looked down. “Well, my sisters have their hands full with their kids and their careers, and my mother believes that going into a nursing home will be the death of her. And as we just learned the hard way, we can’t really leave her on her own. I don’t know that a home aide would be able to help the way she needs. I don’t really have a choice.”
“Sure you do,” said Bashir. “There’s always a choice.”
He’d been old as long as I’d known him, and yet he was still as sharp as a tack. “Maybe I do, but I don’t know the right one to make,” I confessed.
He pointed across the street. “I still remember when you and Ben used to sit out on the steps reading while the world spun around you,” he said with an appreciative grunt. “I see him from time to time now that he’s back. Are the two of you in touch?”
“We are now,” I said, and I couldn’t keep the corners of my lips from curling up.
Bashir’s eyes may have been cloudy, but he didn’t miss my smile. “Good. It makes me happy to see you happy. Lainey?”
“Yeah, Bashir?”
“You say you don’t know the right choice, but I think you do. The answer’s already in you. You just have to find the courage to say it out loud.”
TWENTY-NINE
LAINE
Josh and I brought my mother home the following morning. On the doctor’s advice, she was to rest as much as possible for the next forty-eight hours. Apparently that was just what she needed, too, because we’d barely gotten her settled into her bed when she fell fast asleep.
Once I made sure she was comfortable, I went into the next room to call Melinda. I knew she wasn’t expecting me to return immediately, but I still wanted to update her so she had time to hire my replacement.