“That’s kind of what she said, and I thought I was sticking up for myself for a change,” I said miserably. “I must have really upset her. Did you call the cops?”
“Hadley did. It hasn’t been nearly long enough for them to do anything about it—it has to be at least forty-eight hours. We called Nettie and Mary, too, and I went over to Bashir’s twice. No one’s seen her.”
“Did you check the upstairs apartment?”
“I don’t have keys.”
I slapped my forehead. “I’m an idiot. I think I still have her set in my purse.” I’d left in such a huffy hurry that I hadn’t remembered to return them.
“Then she’s not up there, so don’t worry about it,” said Piper. “Anyway, I went up there—put my ear to the door but didn’t hear anything. And I didn’t hear footsteps from her apartment, either. I’m worried, Laine. This feels wrong.”
“I know,” I agreed. “It does.”
I had my doctor’s appointment on Monday—the big one that I wouldn’t miss for the world, but would need to miss for my mother. On top of that, I was supposed to finish the Mahadiks’ house and try to set up a consult with Melinda’s friend.
And now none of that mattered.
I needed to be in New York, helping my sisters and my mother. That’s where my actual life was. “I’m going to throw some stuff in a bag and hit the road,” I said. “Hopefully you’ll find Mom before I reach the city, but if that doesn’t happen for some reason, then at least I can help.” And once we found our mother, I would be staying at her side. How had I possibly thought she would be okay on her own?
“Call Josh, Laine. See if he’ll go with you. It’ll be easier if you two can split the driving.”
“Now’s not the best time to be telling you this, but we’ve decided to go through with the divorce. Well, I have,” I clarified.
“I know that, Laine,” she said.
So he had called her. At least he had someone other than me to talk to, I reasoned, even if that person happened to be related to me.
“He has an important meeting,” I said, recalling why he’d flown back.
“Stop micromanaging him, Laine, and let him make his own decisions.”
She was too blunt—but she wasn’t wrong.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll call him as soon as I hang up with you.” I’d already grabbed the cooler from the cupboard and had begun filling it with snacks and drinks. “I’ll leave in the next twenty minutes, even if Josh can’t go.”
“I was hoping you’d say that,” she said with palpable relief. “If anyone can find Mom, it’s you.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said. Because I owed it to my mother—to all of them, really—to find her. I was ashamed of myself and the way I’d allowed my anger to blind me when I should’ve been caring for my only living parent.
I could almost hear her voice now: Well, then, Laine, I guess this is goodbye.
Had she been warning me—or telling me I was already too late?
TWENTY-SIX
LAINE
“Obviously I’m coming with you, Laine,” Josh had said when I called him to tell him about my mother. “I’ll be ready in five.”
And although I’d once remarked that Josh would be late to his own funeral, he was already standing outside the Mahadiks’ house, duffel bag in tow, when I pulled up. My heart sank when I saw that Melinda was on the lawn beside him. I tried to put on a brave face as I got out of the car, but I had a strong suspicion that the smile I was aiming for was closer to the expression a gorilla might make after someone has stolen her pet kitten.
“Laine, I’m so sorry to hear the news,” she said, holding out her arms to me. I wasn’t big on hugging people I wasn’t related to, but I let her embrace me anyway because it was the least I could do, given that I was about to leave her high and dry.
“No, I’m sorry,” I said into her hair; she still had her arms, which were surprisingly strong, wrapped around me. “I feel terrible that I haven’t finished up the last couple of rooms yet.”
She took a step back and cocked her head. “What are you apologizing for? You can finish when you come back.”
“Right,” I said, swallowing the lump that had just formed in my throat. I didn’t have to tell her now, I assured myself; I could do it later, after I got to Brooklyn and sorted everything out. If we found my mother—and I’d been praying to all kinds of deities and celestial bodies that we would, and fast—I would have to have Josh mail my belongings to me. Because it was abundantly clear that she could not be left alone. How had I ever thought it was okay for me to just pick up and leave?
“Safe travels, and keep me updated,” said Melinda, squeezing my shoulder.
“We will,” I promised as I looked over her shoulder at her house. Such a lovely place; it would have been so great to have finished the job, and not just because of how fantastic the before-and-after photos would look on my website. Melinda was all warm wishes now, but once she found out that I wasn’t returning, she’d be thinking something else entirely about me. And even though we weren’t friends, per se, I realized that I actually kind of liked her, and didn’t want her to feel the exact opposite about me.
I asked Josh to drive the first stretch of the trip. My nerves were shot, but I also wanted to have my hands free in case my sisters called. I decided to text Ben, too, to let him know what was happening and see if he’d keep an eye out for my mother.
After I put my seat belt on, I looked over at Josh. “Is this going to be weird, us being in a car together for ten hours?”
“Why would it be?” he said, slipping on his sunglasses.
“Because of our conversation yesterday.”
“What about it?” he said. “You said yourself that I’m going to stay a part of the family. And this is what family does, right? They help each other.”
“What about your meeting with the investors, though?” I said. “You probably won’t be back in time.”
“So?” He shrugged. “If that’s the thing that makes them decide whether or not to buy it, then it was never going to happen in the first place. Besides, you won’t be back for your doctor’s appointment, either, will you?”
I shook my head sadly.
He reached over the gear shift and squeezed my hand. “Sometimes we make tough choices for the people we love.”
Sure. But sometimes we acted like selfish little children and let our elderly mothers wander around New York City sad and confused and utterly alone.
Hadley was on the phone with the police when Josh and I arrived. Josh had driven nearly the whole way, going so fast that it was a near miracle he hadn’t gotten a speeding ticket. But we’d arrived in nine hours, including bathroom breaks, which was an all-time record. As I told him, I owed him.
“Right, right,” said Hadley in what I recognized as her reasonable voice—the one she used right before she kindly informed you that you were an idiot. “I hear what you’re saying, but that’s simply not acceptable. No. Just because she hasn’t been diagnosed with dementia doesn’t mean she doesn’t have it. I’m telling you, she’s been suffering from memory loss for at least a year now.”
Josh met my eyes. “It’s not your fault,” he mouthed. We hadn’t spoken much on the drive, but at one point, I’d tearfully confessed to him that it was my fault my mother was missing and had told him about our arguments—well, except for the part about Ben and me. Just like he was now, he’d dismissed my explanation as nonsense. But I knew better. Even if I had needed space, I didn’t have to imply it was permanent. What’s more, I could’ve at least called Hadley or Piper and told them the ominous way she’d said goodbye. If Piper had checked on her earlier, or Hadley had called—or, or, or; there were so many possibilities that were better than this scenario—then she would be at home where she belonged. Because for all my frantic texting and calling with my sisters, who’d been combing Brooklyn all afternoon, she still wasn’t back. With each passing hour, it seemed more possible that she wasn’t going to be.
And that was because of me.