However, I don’t think that’s possible anymore, not when I’ve established roots I don’t like to admit having.
And most of those have to do with the man who sets my body and soul on fire and doesn’t shy away from being caught in the flames.
I wish I had his confidence or straightforwardness. I wish I was as assertive or as otherworldly as he is. Although I admit to being attached to him, I can’t admit that it could be more than mere attachment or simply a way to drive away the loneliness.
It’s becoming so much more, and it’s eating me up from the inside out to consider the hidden meaning.
As a direct impact of that thought, I can’t help the tinge of emptiness that grabs hold of me whenever he’s done fucking me.
Like now.
We’re in the supply room. He takes his time putting my clothes back on—and feeling me up in the process—after he fucked me fast and raw against the door. I’m barely standing, my limbs shaking and my pussy still throbbing. Knox does that to me all the time. The power of his thrusts often makes me delirious for a long while after.
And I’m glad he’s the one who puts my clothes in order, because I can hardly move, let alone function.
Finally, he places the glasses on my nose. He never fucks me with them on or allows me to wear them in my apartment, but he does respect my need to remain hidden in public. He doesn’t push me to answer his questions about my real identity either, even though he continues to ask them.
His lips brush against mine and I shudder, my heart lurching in my chest.
It’s such a light contact, a brush of lips and not even a kiss, definitely not as raw and passionate as before he fucks me.
But as much as I love his primal kisses, I’m addicted to his soft after-sex kisses, completely attuned to them and unable to get enough.
Because he doesn’t have to give me them, not when we’re well aware of the status of our relationship, but he still claims my lips.
He still kisses me as if he can’t get enough.
As if, like me, he could be feeling so much more than sex.
I internally shake my head, trying to push back that thought. If I get caught up in it and trick my brain into believing it, things will decline for the worst.
“I’ll see you tonight,” he whispers in that sensually sinful accent of his and pushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
“Are you going to cook?”
“If you’d like.”
“Of course I do.” I don’t really enjoy cooking. Before he came along, most of my meals were takeout or some burned dish I tried to follow the recipe for online.
I’m not ashamed to admit he’s much better at it than me, and he seems to enjoy it, too.
He pinches my cheek playfully, “You’re such a princess.”
“I’m not a princess.”
“You hate cooking, cleaning, and any house chores, basically.”
“It’s not that I hate them. I’m just not good at them.”
“Because you’re a princess.” He smiles. “But don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
And with that, he steps out of the supply room, leaving me absolutely helpless and confused and maybe a little bit lightheaded, too, because I keep licking my lips for the remnants of his taste.
I’m really hopeless.
It takes me a few seconds to get my bearings. Though there aren’t usually people on this part of the floor, I’ll have to explain to Chris and Gwen why I disappeared during the lunch we were supposed to have together.
Knox texted me to meet him in the supply room earlier, and when I ignored it, he barged into the IT department, kicked Gwen and Chris out, then said, “Now, you have nothing stopping you.”
I asked him not to do that again, but I don’t have much hope in him following through with it. He’s too headstrong for that.
But even he should know that my friends will be suspicious at some point.
I smile at that as I leave the supply room.
Friends.
I never thought I would ever use that word or actually have the opportunity to make friends.
When I was little, I was lonely, which is why I became the fairy of the forest and had trees and stones for friends. And after I moved in with Papa, the idea of friends became impossible.
People like me aren’t allowed such a luxury.
“So, it’s you.”
I freeze, my stomach dropping at the sound of the accented voice coming from my right. It’s British, too, and while it’s calm and collected, it’s not Knox’s.
If anything, it’s even more sinister.
I whirl around to find Daniel leaning against the wall, arms and ankles crossed and a look of pure contempt darkening his cobalt blue eyes.
Holy shit.
Was he there all along? Wait, no. Knox would’ve seen him if he was and he would’ve told me and—
“I was becoming suspicious with his frequent visits to the fourth floor so I decided to start my own private investigation and followed him. I had to wait until he was out to find out who he was coming here for.” He stares at his watch. “Twenty minutes is a record for him. He usually gets bored and finishes quicker than that.”
My skin heats and crawls, and I wish I could somehow vanish into thin air as if I never existed.
Daniel watches me intently, as if he can comb through my thoughts and my deepest, darkest desires.
“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I attempt to play dumb, but my unsteady voice doesn’t cooperate.
“Really now? Do you mind telling me what you did in that supply room all this time?”
“Work.”
“Is that a new word for sex?” His expression and tone don’t change. They’re actually more composed, as if he’s completely in his element.
I’ve heard a lot of things about Daniel, mostly that he’s a player and easygoing, but no one mentioned his threatening, sinister side, because that’s what it feels like right now.
Being threatened.
Watched.
Desiccated.
He pushes off the wall, and it takes everything in me not to turn around and run. Because I know, I just know that it would encourage him to come after me even stronger.
Daniel circles me and the hairs on my nape stand on end as he stops in front of me. “You’re not his usual type, so now, I’m wondering what made him interested in you. Do you care to shed some light on the mystery?”
“How will I do that?”
“Simple. Let’s fuck.”
“W-what?”
“Tonight?”
“No!”
“Why not? Oh, not a good time?”
“Not a good pairing. Why would you think I would ever want to have sex with you?”
He appears genuinely baffled. “Why not? Knox and I go three-way with no problem.”
“Huh?”
“We fuck the same women, often at the same time.”
My stomach lurches and I think I’m going to throw up the cupcakes Gwen gave me earlier.
Did Daniel say he and Knox fuck the same women at the same time?
Yes, I think he did.
But that’s not what’s bothering me. What’s bothering me is the fact that Knox could and would share me with his friend.
The thought causes my stomach to cramp and my heart to shrink in its ribcage.
If he’s so used to that, why wouldn’t he do it now? After all, our relationship is all about sex.
“So?” Daniel asks. “What do you think?”
“About?”
“Fucking me. For the record, everyone prefers me since I’m obviously more charming.” He accentuates his words with a grin that showcases his dimples.
And I can see it, his charm, the reason why many women would prefer him. Daniel is the type that oozes sex appeal and can effortlessly grab anyone’s attention. He has a striking kind of beauty that glows from afar and blinds once you get close.
But he doesn’t have Knox’s intensity and he certainly doesn’t make me feel like I’ll jump out of my skin due to his presence alone.
“No,” I say simply, easily, and with so much assertiveness, it makes him pause.
“You don’t have to answer now. Think about it.”
“I don’t need to.”
“This is interesting.” He circles me again before stopping in front of me. “Is it because of Knox? He wouldn’t care.”
Well, I would. But I don’t say that, because I don’t have the voice to. So I just shrug, even though my heart is bleeding.