I don’t know how he can be so calm when something truly disastrous is welling up inside me. I have to get some distance between us, to move and expel some of this awful feeling inside me. The longer I stand here, the more the events of last night wash over me in waves. The fear when that man raised the gun and pointed it at my face, the horrible knowledge that the glass wouldn’t hold forever… It was nothing compared to the terror I felt when Eros appeared and tackled the guy.
By nature, I face hard truths. I might lie to most people in this city, but I can’t survive by lying to myself. I know what that fear means, even if I’m not ready to admit it to myself. “I have to go.”
He jerks like I’ve struck him. “What? You can’t leave.”
“Not leave. Go.” I’m not making sense. I know I’m not making sense, but I can’t seem to help myself. Panic is clawing its way up my throat. I back through the door. “I just… I can’t.”
“Psyche, wait.” Eros, my terrifying monster of a man, actually looks concerned about me, which only makes my panic worse. When did I start looking at him like a man and not an opponent? It’s too much. It’s certainly too soon.
I keep backing away, and he keeps following me, still looking confused and concerned. At least he keeps his distance, but it’s not nearly enough for my state of mind. “Talk to me.”
I shake my head. “I can’t do this.”
He shadows me down the hall, keeping a careful distance between us even as he reaches for me. “We’ll find a way through. Her people won’t touch you.”
But they won’t have to, will they? A hysterical laugh bubbles free. Aphrodite won’t have to take my heart, because Eros is in danger of completing that mission already. He doesn’t need my literal heart in his hands to crush me beyond repair. He’s already too close, too overwhelming, too damn much. I back into the foyer, the room of mirrors, and jerk to a stop when faced with dozens of our reflections bounced across every available surface. “Eros, I—”
He moves faster than I expect and grabs my hands. A light touch, but I already know that if I yank against his hold, I won’t be able to get free. “Please,” I whisper.
“Talk to me,” he repeats. “I can’t fight what I can’t see.”
Oh gods, I really am falling in love with this man. I close my eyes and a single tear slips free. I can’t control how I feel—I’ve already more than proven that—but at least I don’t have to tell him. I don’t know how he’d react, and I honestly can’t stand the thought of coldness creeping into Eros’s eyes in response.
Instead, I choose a different truth. “I’m scared.”
He looks actually pained. “I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I should have expected her to strike like that, and I didn’t. It won’t happen again. I realize that you have no reason to trust me because of what I am, but…”
“Because of what you are,” I repeat. My fear welds itself into a fierce anger, the emotion so strong my entire body shakes. “What are you, Eros?”
He releases my wrist and takes a step back. The mirrors surrounding us show our images from all directions, and there’s something apt about that, but I’m too focused on the man in front of me to chase the thought down. He looks away, but his attention snags on the reflection in the nearest mirror and he grimaces. “You know what I am.”
“Indulge me.”
His lips curve, but his eyes aren’t happy. He flings a hand at the mirror to his right. “Failure.” The mirror to his left. “Murderer.” The one behind him. “Monster.”
“Eros,” I whisper. He’s talked about being a monster more than a few times, and while I can admit that his past actions have been monstrous, I hate that he takes all the blame for it and ignores the conditions that brought him to that point. I can’t change his mind. I’m not even sure if I should try.
But after what happened in that parking garage, I can’t help but want to.
“You can’t leave.” He matches my low tone. “I’m sure you don’t want to see my face right now, but this is the only place in Olympus I know you’re safe from my mother. So… Please. Please don’t leave.”
“Eros,” I repeat. “Would you like to know what I see when I look at you?”
He flinches. This cold, arrogant man flinches at my question. “I suppose it’s the least I can do after everything I’ve put you through.”
Oh, Eros.
I slip my hand into his. He’s so tense, I can tell he’s fighting not to pull away from me, to retreat to something resembling a safer distance. I turn us to face the mirror next to the front door. Eros is trying to shut down his expression, but he still looks pained as I take a deep breath. “I see someone loyal.”
His hand spasms in mine. “Psyche—”
“I’m not finished.” I turn us one mirror to the right. “I see someone ambitious.”
“I don’t know if that’s really a virtue,” he mutters.
But he allows me to move us to face the next mirror. “I see someone both clever and intelligent.”
“Those are the same things.”
“They’re really not.”
He gives me a tormented look. “Why are you doing this?”
Because I love you. I swallow hard. “Because you have only been told the negative about yourself for so long, that’s all you believe. Every person contains a balance of both good and bad inside them. Even you. Especially you.”
“Psyche…” He looks down at me like he’s never seen me before. “I don’t deserve you.”
That fierce feeling inside me gets stronger. “I think we’ve established that I’m a flawed human being, the same as you.”
“No. Not the same.” He turns me to face the mirrors and steps behind me. We look good like this, even with him a little wild around the eyes and me shaking like a leaf. I never would have lined us up as a couple that fits, but our time together has more than proved me wrong.
Eros winds my hair around a fist, his eyes never leaving mine. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?”
I open my mouth to make a joke, but the words die before they leave my tongue. I lick my lips. “This isn’t about me.”
“Wrong, beautiful girl. It’s always been about you.” He drags in a breath, and I can feel the fine tremors in his body where he presses against my back. Eros speaks so softly, I almost miss the words. “I see a woman I don’t deserve, but you make me want to be a better man so that one day I might deserve you. I see a goddess.”
I turn in his arms. The words I promised myself I wouldn’t say bubble up, and I do the only thing I can think of to keep them inside. I kiss him. The moment my lips touch Eros’s, it’s as if something explodes between us. He uses his hold in my hair to tilt my head back and take the kiss deeper. I will never, ever get enough of kissing Eros. He turns it into an art form, an intoxicating connection that goes straight to my head.
He breaks the kiss long enough to say, “I need you, Wife.”
“Yes.” I grab the hem of his shirt and push it up and over his head. “I need you, too.”
“You have me.” But he grabs my hands, stopping me from undoing the front of his pants. “Wait. Condom.”
That’s the smart, rational thing to consider, but I don’t want to be smart or rational right now. “I know we said we wouldn’t make this decision in the heat of the moment, but I don’t want to use a condom.” I hesitate. “Unless you want to.”
There’s that fine tremor again in his hands where they bracket my wrists. “Be sure.”
I don’t care if it’s reckless; I’m already nodding. “I don’t want anything between us. I just want you.”
He takes me at my word. Eros reclaims my mouth as he gets busy stripping me out of my underwear and bra. His pants hit the floor a mere moment later and then his naked body is against mine, the delicious slide of his skin against mine going straight to my head. I dig my hands into his curls and tug, pulling him down to the floor on top of me.
I only get to enjoy the feeling of his weight pressing me against the cool marble floor for a moment before he pushes back to kneel between my spread legs. The expression on his face… I don’t doubt for a moment that he sees me as the goddess he claims. My self-esteem is pretty healthy, but when Eros looks at me with such intensity, I feel like I could walk on water.
I want to give him the same feeling. I start to reach for him, but he gives a sharp shake of his head. “Not yet. If you touch me right now, I’m going to be inside you in the next breath.”