“She had a brain aneurysm that ruptured and caused a hemorrhagic stroke the day I was accepted at Einstein Medical in their cardiothoracic surgery fellowship. I got the call right as I was about to accept.”
Kareena scooted closer to him until their legs were tangled, and they were chest to chest, with Kareena’s head on his shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry.”
It was easier to talk about Gori when Kareena held on to him this way, he thought. He combed his fingers through her unraveling hair. “After Gori died, I was lost for months. I should’ve done something more. I could’ve done something more. Health care for women, specifically women of color, is terrible, and if Gori had a place to go, with doctors who understood what she needed, then maybe she would be alive today.”
Awareness dawned on Kareena’s face. “Your community health center.”
“Yeah.” Prem scanned the now empty beach as he held Kareena close to his chest. It was dark, and a few couples walked hand in hand along the surf. The distant sound of music and chatter from the boardwalk intermingled with the soothing, consistent crash of surf.
“You are a good person, Prem Verma. Our parents view our success as a sign of whether or not their sacrifices in coming to this country were worth it. And you giving back, by making sure that their health and well-being is taken care of? That’s amazing.”
If only I can get the funding for it, he thought. But that wasn’t her problem anymore. He wouldn’t burden her with that right now.
They stayed intertwined, listening to the water for a few moments before Kareena spoke again. “You know what I find funny?”
“What?”
“That we believe in a fundamental difference in how people connect, but in the end, neither of us have found peace. We both are alone.”
Prem snorted. She had a point, but he hated to hear that she still considered herself alone when they were together, holding each other. “That’s true. But at least I’m out here trying to make it work so we don’t have to be. When are you going to try, Kareena Mann?”
“I’m dating. I’m going out. If anything, I’m trying harder than you.”
“You know what I mean,” he said.
She looked away from him, as if their connection was something that she could avoid when it was already too late. He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Will you tell me why the house is so important to you?”
She let out a deep shaky breath, and then, almost in a quiet whisper, she said, “I’m like her, you know. My father still says that some of the things I do remind him of her.”
“Your mom?”
Kareena nodded. “Her house is the one place I know I can be me. I don’t think I’ll ever find a place that I can be as connected with someone who accepts me for who I am.” She scrunched up her nose, as if to move her glasses. He did it for her and pressed a kiss at the corner of her mouth just the way he knew she liked.
“You are a wildflower, Rina. You will plant and grow wherever you land.”
“And with whoever?”
There was that strange twisting feeling in his gut again. “Yes. With whoever.”
They sat holding each other for a bit longer, their faces close and the sea breeze cooling their warming skin. The sound of joyful laughter and boardwalk games mixed with the echo of crashing waves.
“You know what this reminds me of?” Kareena asked. She had a little note of amusement in her voice that had him smiling. “A song.”
“Oh god, really?”
She dug into her bag and pulled out her cell phone and a pair of earbuds. “Will you listen with me?”
He couldn’t deny her anything. Prem held out a hand and took one of the earbuds. He put it in his right ear as she did the same with the other earbud in her left ear.
They stretched out their legs and lay back on the cool sand. Prem tangled his fingers with hers again and closed his eyes as they listened side by side. The soft strains of guitar and piano filtered through the earbud.
He felt Rina squeeze his hand.
Prem listened to the lyrics, the words that Kareena always resonated with, and he realized that the longer the song went on, the more attuned he was to the woman next to him.
His heart pounded as he slowly opened his eyes and turned to watch her in her meditative state for the rest of the song. Her mouth was relaxed, her chest rose and fell with easy breaths, and she’d pushed her glasses up on top of her head so he could see her lashes fan over her cheeks.
Never in a million years did Prem think his brain chemistry would betray him and make him doubt for the first time in his life that maybe, just maybe, love could be real.
Interstitial
Indians Abroad News Dear Readers, One of the hardest things for us to come to terms with as parents is when things don’t work out the way we hope.
Remember your youth. Religion and reputation should never be used as weapons to incite fear.
Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t use blackmail and bribery.
Mrs. W. S. Gupta Columnist Avon, NJ
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kareena
“I feel like I’m the obnoxious friend who can’t stop talking about the guy they’re sleeping with. I don’t know how I became obsessed!” Kareena folded another tent card and passed it to Veera. “How many more do we have to go before we can leave?”
Bobbi checked her printed spreadsheet and the tablet in front of her. “About fourteen,” she said. “The Ramkumaran family. Adults, kids, and grandkids all confirmed for the engagement party. We have to split them between two tables. I think you’re obsessed because you’re getting laid. Hell, I’d be obsessed, too, if I was getting dick.”
“I don’t understand why I have to be here,” Veera mumbled. She looked at the small portable printer, along with the cardstock pages in front of her that she’d been feeding into the machine. “I’m not planning the engagement party. Why is my Friday night shot with you two talking about penis? It makes me feel FOMO.”
“If you want dinner and drinks, it’ll have to cost you something,” Kareena said. “After this is over, let’s leave before my sister and Dadi come back. The tailor they went to is in North Brunswick, and they’ve already been gone for two hours. They should be home soon.”
“I’m surprised you’re here, too,” Bobbi said. She wiggled her eyebrows. “Didn’t your boy toy say something about meeting up again this weekend?”
“He did,” Kareena said. And she couldn’t stop thinking about it. The elephant in their room was getting bigger and bigger as her sister’s engagement party closed in on them.
“Are you going to tell him how you feel?” Bobbi asked.
Kareena shook her head. Damn her best friend for knowing exactly what was on her mind. “I don’t think he’ll react . . . positively. Prem has been nothing but honest about what he thinks of romance from the very beginning.”
Bobbi and Veera looked at each other, then busied themselves with the tent cards.
“Oh my god, I hate when you two do that. It drives me insane.”
“Honey, if you don’t tell him how you feel, then are you two really being honest with each other at the start of your relationship?” Bobbi asked.
“He doesn’t think love sustains a relationship. I think it’s partially to do with his past, but also, I don’t know, maybe his parents? How am I supposed to argue against that?”
“You can only blame your parents for so long before you start making decisions on your own and using them as an excuse,” Bobbi said.
“Bobbi!”
“What?” she said with a shrug. “I learned that from therapy, girl. And we’re talking about Prem’s view on love. If he’s sleeping with you now and asking you to put your future reputation on the line for him, then it’s only fair that he’s honest, too.”
“Which means you have to be honest with him, too,” Veera added.
Kareena folded her arms and leaned against the table. “You know how some South Asian families aren’t that expressive? They just bring you a bowl of fruit when they want to say ‘sorry’ or ‘I love you’? Maybe Prem’s kidnapping attempt was just that. An act of service.”
Bobbi threw her hands in the air and got out of her chair. Veera groaned and dropped her forehead to the desk.