“Justin likes me,” I whispered out loud, trying out the words to see how they felt. I smiled so hard it felt like my grin might pop off of my face.
I went back into the Africa room and climbed into the bed on the opposite wall from the broken lamp, avoiding any glass that may have fallen into the other twin bed. The covers felt cool and inviting, and I let out a long, exhausted sigh. On a whim, I checked my cell phone and saw one missed text message. I didn’t think it was possible, but I smiled even bigger when I saw it was from Justin.
Justin: GNite Sweet Taylor
I could have died right then and there because I was so happy. In hindsight, it seemed silly to have wished for something so finite on a night that felt so full of possibilities. But of course no one ever believes they’re actually going to die when they think things like that. I certainly didn’t.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SIGNS OF LIFE
One thousand steps. I never really thought about how high up in the sky I would have to climb to get to one thousand, because it seemed like an impossible number. I remember reading somewhere that the Eiffel Tower has over two thousand steps leading to the top, but most people opt to take the elevator. Why? Because climbing over two thousand steps to get to anything would be insane. Like, whack-job dress-up-like-your-mother-and-murder-people-in-the-shower crazy. Which pretty much made me certifiable.
I started counting the steps out of boredom sometime after the snow began to slow down. Without the drifts to hop on or the snow to play with, I was going a bit crazy, and I assumed I’d reach the end of the stairs long before I could actually count to one thousand.
I was wrong.
My foot slid as easily onto the one thousandth step as it had the first, and what little resolve I’d managed to hold on to slipped through my fingers. My throat turned thick with frustrated tears, and I had to kneel forward because my knees were shaking. Even though I wasn’t the least bit tired from climbing so long and so high, I didn’t think I could manage to lift one more foot to climb one more step. I was done. I’d had enough.
I crouched on my heels and wished more than anything that I had a door to slam. That always made me feel better when I fought with my mom. It didn’t matter who was right or what the fight was about, a solid slam of a door always made me feel like I was back in control of the situation.
But of course there were no doors for me to slam and no one to yell at. I couldn’t even throw a snowball because the snow had slowed to a trickle and there wasn’t enough sticking to the stairs for me to scoop up. Instead I banged my fists on the step in front of me, letting out a scream of frustration.
A string of spit escaped my lips and dribbled down my chin. I was too angry to bother wiping it away, so instead I let it hang there, not caring that I looked like a rabid animal clawing its way up a stone mountain. Just how big was this piece-of-shit staircase? Did it even have an end? I had the inkling I’d become Sisyphus. He’s that guy who had to push a rock up a hill for eternity, and every time he got to the top the rock would roll back down and he’d have to start all over again. What if the stairs went on forever and I was stuck walking for eternity with no way to turn around and go back down? It didn’t matter whether or not I was already dead—I would die again.
I pounded the step in front of me, this time harder, slapping my palms against the stone with so much vigor I was sure my skin would split from the force. But of course, like everything on the stairs, nothing changed. My palms were smooth and scrape-free. They didn’t even sting from the impact.
I crouched down on the step and ground my teeth to keep from screaming again. That’s when I heard the buzzing sound.
It was light, like the sharp whine of a mosquito, and it was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It sounded like an insect was circling my head or hovering behind me, just out of reach.
My head jerked left and right, searching for the source. I expected to see Sunny, Logan, or some other ghostly abomination glowering at me, but the staircase was empty.
The buzzing finally settled next to my left ear, and when I swatted at it, my hand made contact with something soft and bullet-shaped. The thing zipped out in front of me, and I caught sight of an insect slightly larger than my thumb, with four diaphanous wings propelling it forward.
It was a dragonfly. At least I thought it was a dragonfly. There was something about it that seemed too large or too bird-like, but I couldn’t think of what else it might be. Before I could get a closer look, it darted forward, moving like an arrow released from the belly of a bow.
It left a trail behind as it moved, its small body splitting the air into a pinkish wake. It looked like the thing was moving the sky. How was that possible?
The trail hung ribbon-like and glistened like light reflecting off a cresting wave. Then the path slowly began to fade from view, as though the dragonfly-thing had somehow ripped the sky into two halves and it was mending itself back together.
The creature zipped ahead of me until it was at the edge of my line of sight, then it hovered in place, waiting.
Was it waiting for me? It didn’t seem like an insect could actually wait for someone, but I moved my feet quickly up the stairs anyway, following its glistening path.
It hovered until I was close enough to touch it. I could make out tiny hairs covering its thin, greenish body. Its dark eyes were large and placed on either side of its head, and below that sat the thin line of its mouth. And then—I might have thought I was hallucinating if it weren’t for all the other crazy things I’d seen on the stairs—the thing smiled at me. The edges of its mouth tipped upward into a U, a gesture so familiar that it almost seemed human.