The Secrets We Keep

Searching for something to say and coming up empty, I did the one thing I could. I started to walk away.

“You asked me to go to that party, said it wasn’t fair what had happened to me and that these were my friends and you were going to make it right.”

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around.

“Alex whispered something to you when I walked in. I don’t know what it was, but he seemed pissed. You had a fight later that night, but I don’t know what it was about. Maybe about me being there,” she said as she took a step in my direction.

I didn’t know what the fight had been about, but rather than admit that, I asked again, “Why were you crying? What happened?”

“Jenna. She was there being her usual self.”

Molly didn’t need to explain that. I’d been on the receiving end of Jenna’s nasty comments for years. I was well aware that she had probably taken Molly’s tears and used them as a way to gain the upper hand, remind her that she was different. Damaged. Useless.

“Jenna’s a self-serving wannabe. I don’t get why you—” I paused for a second to correct myself. “I don’t get why we hang out with her.”

“I don’t anymore. You do.”


I shrugged, not knowing what to say. I guessed, at the end of the day, I would classify Jenna as my sister’s best friend. I’d gladly go the next seven months, the next seven years, my entire life as Maddy, but there was no way I was putting up with Jenna in the process. “Yeah … well, I have a feeling that’s gonna change.”

Molly smirked, no doubt understanding exactly what I meant. “I figured that much at the party.”

I cocked my head, pretended I was searching my mind for a lost piece of information. “I … uhh…”

The amusement faded from Molly’s eyes, a pain I was familiar with replacing it. “You heard her prodding me and lost it, said you were done with her treating me that way. Done pretending that none of this was your fault.”

I didn’t dare ask what “this” referred to. Besides, the look on Molly’s face told me she wouldn’t know the answer anyway, that she was as confused, as curious as me about what Maddy had been so upset about. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the answer either.

“I’m sorry. There is a lot of stuff from that night I still can’t remember.”

“Alex heard you yelling at Jenna and came in,” Molly said. “He grabbed you and told you to be quiet before you ruined everything. You screamed at him to let you go, to leave you alone. I went to help you, but he told me to stay out of it, that you were drunk and that he’d take care of it.”

“I wasn’t drunk.” That was the one thing I was certain about. I’d seen Maddy drunk plenty of times, stumbling and giddy as I handed her ibuprofen and Gatorade at two in the morning, then lied to my parents about her having cramps the next day when she could barely move. That night, Maddy wasn’t drunk. She was upset, maybe a little bit scared, but not drunk.

Plus, I had the hospital’s blood test to prove it.

“I know you weren’t drunk, but to Alex—”

“A drunk, rambling Maddy is easier to explain than the truth.” I finished the thought for her.

She tossed her hands out in agreement, and for a moment, I remembered that she knew these people, these so-called friends better than I did. Probably better than Maddy did. “You think if I ignore them, if I give it a little bit of time, things will go back to normal?” I asked.

“Umm, no.”

That was okay. After talking to Molly and seeing what my sister and her friends were capable of, I wasn’t sure Maddy’s normal was what I wanted.





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