The Secrets We Keep

Jenna nodded, playing along. Leave it to her to play innocent. She knew I was coming back today. I was sitting next to Alex on my bed last night when he called her and told her to tell our “friends” not to ask me any questions about the accident or Ella. Apparently, she’d conveniently forgotten to pass that message on.

“Did you see her at Ella’s locker this morning?” I still couldn’t place who that girl was—probably an underclassman or one of the JV field hockey players that Jenna had promised a varsity spot to. “She lost it on that weird boy her sister used to always hang out with. I kind of feel bad for her. It’s got to be hard facing him.”

Josh wasn’t weird; he was the most genuine person I knew. And I wouldn’t qualify me trying to clear out my own locker as losing it. I’d call it being considerate of Josh’s feelings.

Jenna nodded and stepped back to admire her work. Maddy’s entire locker was covered with streamers and well wishes scribbled on Post-it notes. “Yeah, well, what did you expect? You kill your sister in a car accident, you’re bound to be a little messed up.”

There it was, that snap of brutal honesty that I’d always associated with Jenna.

I remembered asking my sister about her when we were freshmen. It was toward the end of the year. Jenna had become a constant fixture in my sister’s life and the bane of my existence. I didn’t get what my sister saw in her, and why she chose to surround herself with such mean people.

“She’s not as bad as you think. I mean, you don’t even know her,” Maddy said as she flicked through the TV channels. Mom had grounded us for arguing over whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher. We’d been arguing about everything back then, from who didn’t put the cap back on the milk to who was smarter. Our punishment was a weekend at home with nobody to talk to but each other.

I rolled my eyes. I didn’t need to know Jenna. I’d watched her flip off some random girl at school that day, for looking at whatever boy she had marked as her own, and heard her tear an exchange student a new one in the cafeteria the day before for accidentally sitting down in her seat.

“She’s mean, Maddy. No matter how you slice it, that girl is mean.”

“You would be too if you had her life.”

I highly doubted that, but whatever, I’d bite. “Why? What possible excuse are you going to make for her?”

“She went to the same elementary and middle school as Alex,” Maddy began. “She has lived next door to him since first grade, and their parents are good friends.”

I found that interesting, or at least it made sense as to why Maddy had started hanging out with her to begin with—they had Alex in common.

“Her mom is insanely neurotic about appearances and her dad is never around. He works overseas or something, barely even calls when he’s traveling.”

I shrugged. Josh’s dad was a pilot and was gone for days at a time, but Josh wasn’t a jerk because of it. “So?”

“Everything has to be perfect in their world. Her room, her hair, her grades, everything. I’m over there nearly every day and the only things I have ever heard her parents say to her are ‘Why can’t you be as smart as your brother?’ and ‘Why can’t you be as pretty as your sister?’ Never once have I heard them say ‘Good job’ or ‘It’s okay, we love you the way you are.’ Not once. But you know what Alex says?”

I shook my head. Alex never said much of anything to me, with the exception of “Hey” whenever he came to pick up Maddy. So no, I had no idea what his take on Jenna was. And to be honest, I don’t think I actually cared.

“Alex says it’s a show. That they borrowed money from his parents last week to cover their mortgage.”

“She told you this?” I asked, amazed that Jenna would show any vulnerability to my sister.

“No, Alex did, but he made me swear not to tell anyone, so you can’t either.”

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