“I’ve forgiven you,” I rasped out, with what little breath I had left. “Now … will you forgive me? Will you forgive yourself?”
I could feel the power pulsating in Jude’s hand. He could have killed me in one second flat—so why was he hesitating now? I looked up at his face, and it was almost possible to see the battle raging inside his head. His eyes flashing silver and then softening into violet over and over again. Strain marred his face, and the veins in his neck protruded.
“Jude!” Daniel shouted. He moved like he was about to intervene physically. I held my hand up to stop him. This was the moment of truth.
Jude’s grip on my neck loosened just enough for me to cough and sputter for air. Just enough to rasp, “Please, Jude. I know you’re still in there. I know you’re my brother.”
“We love you, Jude,” Daniel said. “We want to help you. We want you to come home. To be home. All you have to do is ask and we’re here to help.”
Jude’s grip weakened, but he didn’t let go of my throat. “Go home?” he asked. “You make it sound easy. You don’t even know what you’re talking about—”
“Being in this cage,” Daniel said. “It’s like being an addict who’s been forced into rehab. Staying in here is what’s easy. Yes, going home is the hard part. I know. I’ve been through it. I know what it’s like to try to go back to your normal life, to have to face all the people you hurt on your path to destruction. I know what it’s like to walk around with that terrible voice in your head, constantly tempting you. How every single waking moment is a decision to either keep fighting it, or just give in.”
Ragged breaths heaved in Jude’s chest. His fingers trembled against my throat. “I don’t know.…” His voice caught. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep fighting.”
“You are, Jude,” I said. “I know you are. And I’m here to help you. We’re both here to help you. But we can’t unless you let us.”
Jude’s fingers slipped from my throat. He backed away and collapsed onto his cot, his whole body quaking in gut-wrenching sobs. “Help me,” he cried against the canvas cot. “I don’t want to be like this anymore.”
I massaged my throat as Daniel went for the key that hung from the wall at the entrance of the basement. He unlocked the gate and pulled it open. The two of us ran to Jude and cradled him in our arms.
Daniel took off his moonstone pendant and strung it around Jude’s neck. “You need this more than I do.”
My brother clutched at the stone like it was the most precious thing in the world.
I brushed my hands through his hair and held him tight, rocking him until he wrapped his arms around me. One of his hands rested on the scar on my arm where he’d bitten me, infecting me with the Urbat curse.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“I forgive you,” I said one last time because he needed to hear it. I clasped his head with both of my hands and tipped his face so I could look him in the eyes. They were violet and glistening with tears—but they were my brother’s eyes that I remembered. Mirror images of my own. “It’s going to be okay,” I said. “I promise.”
I prayed with all my might that this promise would be one that wouldn’t get broken.
Chapter Twenty-seven
ARRIVALS
AN HOUR LATER
We pulled into the driveway behind April’s red hatchback and Talbot’s blue truck. Every light blazed in the house, and I was sure the whole group was still here. Probably lying around sleeping like happy, fat dogs after a feast.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Jude said as we got out of the car. He squinted at the lit-up house like it was almost painful to look at.
“It’s time to come home,” I said, trying to nudge him forward.
“What if they don’t want me anymore?”
But I didn’t get a chance to answer his question, and I didn’t need to, because the front door opened, and Mom came running down the porch steps.