Sorta Like a Rock Star

I walk back into the kitchen and Donna says, “You look like a knockout. How am I going to wear a fitted tee if I need to stand next to young sexy you?”


“Amber Appleton is sexy!” Ricky says.

“True?” I ask, and then blush like a moron.

“True,” Donna says, and nods in this killer gangsta way that makes me believe her.

BBB barks once in agreement. “Rew!”

“Cool,” I say, smiling.

I eat my dinner, and then Ricky and I clean up the dishes while Donna answers a bazillion e-mails on her Blackberry. Her thumbs move at the speed of light, and I dig how she mouths the words she is typing, like a little kid would.

Jared shows up with his brother Chad strapped to his back like a toddler in a baby backpack. Chad never really grew, and his head is almost as big as his body. We told him to leave Das Boot at home for dramatic effect. Ty is right behind the Fox brothers, and all are totally psyched to put on their new shirts.

The boys talk about Halo 3 while I take BBB out to pee and Donna gets changed.

After I have B Thrice locked up in his room and listening to classical music, I hear Donna calling my name so I walk upstairs and into her bedroom.

She has a frickin’ king-size bed even though she is thin and single. It is very kick-ass. When I enter, she’s checking her makeup in the mirror and wearing her fitted camo tee with a black skirt and knee-high leather boots with blocky two-inch heels.

“Sit,” she says to me, so I sit on the edge of her bed. “Those boys downstairs, would they be doing what we are about to do tonight if you weren’t around to lead them?”

I shrug. My heart is beating like mad.

Donna looks me in the eye. She is a goddess.

“They wouldn’t be doing anything tonight if they didn’t know you. They’d be playing video games or jerking off or doing whatever teenage boys do when left to their own devices.”

I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing.

“I see something in you that I like very much, Amber. You’re not like most people. You are going to do something very special with your life. You’re going to do something very special tonight, because it’s what you were born to do.”

I almost crap myself, and I can feel myself shaking a little.

“Here’s a little secret between old friends,” Donna says, and then bends down to whisper into my ear. “Most people—even adults, even grown men—are like teenage boys, only they pretend they are not.” Donna stands up and winks at me. “People like you and me need to tell them what to do, so that the world won’t get too messed up. They want you to give them instructions. They need you to do this. And you know what needs to be done, because you have a good heart—and you have courage. I’ve seen your good heart at work time and time again over the years. You’re all good. One hundred percent. So trust your instincts, and speak your mind tonight. Be brave. Those boys look up to you. You’re the shepherd. Herd the sheep. Understand?”

I nod thirty times in ten seconds and blink back a few tears, because no one really talks like this to me ever, and I think I understand what Donna is saying, because I get this feeling in my chest sometimes, and I’m not really like other people.

“Let’s do this,” Donna says, and I follow her out of the bedroom.

When we get to the living room, the boys stop talking and take in Donna’s hotness. It mutes them instantly. Donna lets them take in her presence. I study Donna, and this is one of her tricks. She waits for people to take in her hotness before she speaks—always. She is the greatest person I know, and if she weren’t an atheist, I’d say she was perfect, or maybe even God incarnate.





On the way to the school board meeting, I can tell my boys are tense. I’m in the back with Ty, Jared, and Chad—and their collective nervous quietness is freaking me out a little. Also, Donna is not rocking any music, nor is she saying anything, which is strange, because she always seems to be talking or listening to music when we drive, which is how I know she is now testing my leadership abilities. Ricky is quietly counting the streetlights we pass—oblivious.

I start to wonder if my boys need a pep talk, so I say, “How does everyone feel?”

“Cool,” Ty says.

Jared and Chad nod. Chad is sitting on his brother’s lap.

“Did you memorize the speeches?” I ask.

“Yeah,” Chad says.

“Can we nail them tonight?” I ask.

“No worries,” Jared says.

“This is Franks’ livelihood we’re talking about. If Franks gets canned, no Halo 3 next year,” I say.

“Yeah,” Ty says, “we get that.”

“And Franks’ six kids,” I add. “Think of them tonight. We don’t want them living on the streets, right? Use them as motivation. Picture them in your mind.”

“We got it,” Jared says.