Chapter Forty-Three
Most people die without experiencing even half of what I have in the past few months. Incredible. I have an incredible life. I woke up feeling thankful. Even with the cancer. I woke up feeling grateful.
Weston
I laughed when Kiersten moaned in my arms. It was time for my last dose of medication. They wanted to do one last cocktail before I went in for surgery the next day.
“How are you feeling?” Angela asked as she inserted the clear liquid into my IV bag.
“Like a rock star,” I lied. I felt nauseated and dizzy.
Angela laughed. “You look healthy, strong.” With a grin she pulled out her stethoscope and pressed it to my chest. “Good heartbeat.”
It was all the same, but for some reason she gave me more hope. Her eyebrows drew together, and then she removed the stethoscope and placed her hands on my chest. She closed her eyes and I could have sworn she started crying.
Awesome, so now I was hallucinating from the medication.
My tongue felt thick in my mouth. I pointed to my throat, and she immediately removed her hands and dropped something else into my IV. The thickness dissipated.
“Anaphylaxis.” She shrugged. “These drugs tend to do that, but now that you have epinephrine in your system, you’ll be able to take them.”
“Epi—what?”
“Fancy word for anti-allergy meds.” She winked. “And sorry about that. It’s just the craziest thing. Your heart… its rhythm is stronger than it was yesterday, that’s why I pressed my hand against your chest. Strange, really.” She shrugged. “At any rate, congratulations, Weston. This is your last dose of medication.”
“I don’t like the word last.”
Angela smiled warmly. “Remember what I said, sometimes the end is the beginning.”
“Thanks, Angela.”
With a final nod, she walked out the door.
I stared at Kiersten’s hair, watched as it wound itself around my fingers. Flecks of gold shone through the strands. I closed my eyes and lifted it to my lips feeling the silkiness against my skin.
“You being creepy and smelling my hair again,” Kiersten said in a groggy voice.
“Not creepy,” I argued.
“Very creepy,” Gabe said from the chair. “I watched the whole thing and I am sufficiently creeped out.”
“It’s romantic, damn it!” Lisa all but shouted.
“So what? You guys were all awake while the nurse gave me my drugs and decided to fake sleep?”
“Nurse?” Gabe looked around the room. “Where?”
“She was just here.” I pointed to my IV the liquid was still seeping into my body, stinging as it made its progress around my veins.
“Weird.” Lisa scratched her head. “I didn’t see anyone, then again—”
“—then again,” Gabe interrupted. “You slept through Avengers twice. We can’t really trust your judgment on being perceptive or knowing when things are exploding in front of your face.”
“Thanks, cousin.” Lisa threw her jacket at his face. “So…” She turned to me and Kiersten. “What are we going to do today?”
“I don’t know, Brain, what do you want to do?”
“Pinky! Today, we’re going to take over the world!” Kiersten shouted from my arms.
Gabe started laughing so hard I thought he was going to fall out of his chair.
I choked on my own laughter while Lisa just stared at all of us like we’d completely lost it.
“You know, from Pinky and The Brain?” Gabe swatted her. “Seriously what type of childhood did you have?”
“One without cartoons.” Lisa shrugged.
“Well, that settles it then.” I rubbed my hands together. “Pinky and The Brain Marathon!”
“How do we even get our hands on those episodes?” Kiersten pushed to a sitting position.
“YouTube.” I shrugged. “And just in case you forgot, my dad is Randy Michels. Nothing a few phone calls can’t take care of.”
Kiersten rolled her eyes. “Fine, but I’m going to go shower before we take over the world.”
“Me too.” Lisa jumped up.
“Me too?” I asked.
Kiersten swatted me. “No nakedness until after your surgery.”
“Ah, and here I thought you wanted to make me happy.” I pretended to be sad while Gabe gave me the thumbs up.
“Once a player…” Lisa said hopelessly into the air.
“See you in a bit, boys.” Kiersten grabbed Lisa’s hand as they walked out of the room, leaving me and Gabe alone.
“Why were we never friends?” I asked after a few minutes of silence.
Gabe laughed. “Well, for starters. I don’t do sports, and you always had an entourage of people following you, which I’m guessing now had more to do with the cancer than anything else.”
“Yup.” I crossed my arms. “One was my shrink, the other was a bodyguard from when I was a kid — both were concerned that if I was left to my own devices I’d forget to take meds or off myself like my brother did.”
“Why an RA?” Gabe asked.
“He died.” I licked my lips. “His damn RA said he’d been suspicious of Tye for a while. He said Tye never participated in any activities and was often locked up in his room. But he didn’t tell anyone — didn’t think it was any of his business. I kept thinking that if maybe I was an RA I could help save some freshman.” I laughed. “Didn’t expect to fall in love with one.”
Gabe joined in the laughter. “Love is never expected.”
“What about you?”
“Are we really having this discussion?” Gabe scratched the back of his head and looked out the window.
“I guess we are.”
“I don’t do love… I don’t do relationships, not anymore.”
“Bad experience?”
“You could say that.” Gabe bit off a curse. Then he huffed out a long breath. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize it when it stares me in the face. She loves you.”
“I hope so.” Feeling insecure, I refused to make eye contact. “Because I love her too. Is that crazy?”
“Not any crazier than you talking to yourself this morning.”
I hadn’t been talking to myself. How was it my fault that they were too sleepy to notice the nurse walk in? The drugs weren’t making me nauseated like they usually did, that had to be a good sign, right?
“I’m gonna go grab some grub. Why don’t you shower so that your girlfriend actually wants to lie next to you.” Gabe’s eyebrows wiggled. “And I’ll get you some coffee.”
“Good man.” I laughed.
Gabe left. I moved to press my call button just as Angela walked back in the room.
“Need help?”
“That I do.” I smiled. “I just need to get showered and I was wondering… would it be possible for me to wear something other than a hospital gown today? I mean, now that the drugs are in my system I’m just hanging out until surgery, right?”
“Of course.” Angela winked. “I think jeans and a white t-shirt are just what the doctor ordered.”
I exhaled in relief. “Thanks.”
“No problem! Now let’s get you ready for that future wife of yours.”
“Never going to live that down, am I?” I teased.
“I like it when people speak things into their lives. You want her to be your wife, it will happen. I know it may sound silly, but I admire your faith. Not just in yourself, but in other people. It’s commendable, and you need to know — faith doesn’t go unnoticed. Just like selflessness — it’s always noticed, always rewarded, and should never be taken for granted.”
I smiled, though I was a bit confused. Seriously, this nurse was deep. I’d spent a lot of time at hospitals and never met anyone so encouraging. She just made me feel good. Like the path I was taking was the right one. She didn’t give me sad eyes, the kind that doctors give you when they know they’re going to see you for the last time. Maybe that’s why I liked her. Her eyes held hope and amusement as if she knew some giant secret that I was about to find out.
****
We spent the day in bed. All four of us. It was comical to say the least. As promised, I was allowed to wear a t-shirt and jeans, which made it easier to hold Kiersten without mooning everyone else. She was sitting between my legs and leaning back against my chest. Every once in a while I’d feel her hand tap our cadence against my leg as if she was reminding me that we keep our own time. That time was ours.
Halfway through the last episode of Pinky and the Brain that we could find on YouTube, my dad waltzed in, a few people behind him.
What was he doing?
“Thought you kids would be hungry.” He grinned and moved out of the way as people began setting up something I can only describe as a buffet fit for a king.
“Is that—” Gabe pointed at a giant Salmon fillet.
“Anthony’s catering.” Dad nodded proudly. “At your service.”
“Best. Food. Ever.” Gabe’s mouth dropped open again as he greedily watched the food.
The smell was heavenly. Damn. I owed my dad big for this.
Small plastic cups were handed to everyone, and my dad pulled out a bottle of chilled champagne. “Now, I’m not one for underage drinking.” And he really wasn’t. The one time he caught me partying I’d been grounded for two months. “But, I thought we’d do a toast to my son, Wes.”
Kiersten squeezed my leg.
Champagne was poured into every glass. I knew that I would only be able to eat and drink for another hour before I was told to cut it for my surgery, so I snatched the cup.
“May you have happy dreams and wake up refreshed and ready for surgery. To my son, my fighter, my hero.” Dad lifted the cup into the air.
“Cheers,” everyone said in unison. But I couldn’t find my voice. I stared hard at my dad. He was the brave one, not me. He’d watched his wife and son die and now his only living blood relative was going in for a life-altering surgery. Me? Brave? Nah, the ones that stay behind, the ones that fight alongside you, those are the brave ones. It’s easy to go into surgery, you fall asleep. My battle was almost over, I’d tell my body to fight, and then I’d let the doctors do their jobs.
But theirs? I looked around to the faces of my friends and family — their battle was just beginning.
“Thanks, Dad.” I lifted my glass to him and took a sip. “For everything.”
“Son, I am so damn proud of you.”
My dad had never said that to me before, let alone in front of a room full of people. He gave one final nod and walked out the door.
Gabe jumped to his feet and ran out of the room. I knew the guy was fighting his own demons, so I didn’t fault him that. He probably just needed a minute alone.
“Should we eat?” Lisa asked breaking the silence.
“I’m starved.” I got up from the bed and started making myself a plate. Gabe returned without saying anything about his quick exit.
The food was incredible. I ate until I couldn’t eat anymore.
It was nearing seven. I stopped eating, drank some water, and lay down on the bed, pulling Kiersten in to my body so we could spoon.
“Okay, Lisa.” Gabe grabbed her hand. “I think that’s our cue to exit.” He grinned. “See you tomorrow, man.” He gave me a fist bump and walked Lisa out of the room.
“Are you scared?” Kiersten asked.
“Are you?”
“I asked you first.”
Laughing, I tucked her hair behind her ear and whispered, “I’ll just do it afraid.”