Chapter Thirty-four
Demetri
I wasn’t sure she could drive herself home, so I made her
ride with me and told Nat and Alec to come get her car for her.
I’d been driving back into Seaside when I saw her fight off
the cop on the side of the road. My first instinct was to pull over
and wait in the car. I mean, clearly she was getting a ticket, right?
And then I noticed her shaking body. She was convulsing.
What the hell had the cop done to her? I quickly jumped out of my
car and ran over to her. The minute I touched her, my eyes fell on
the accident. I hadn’t really paid much attention. I figured I needed
to keep my eyes on the road, considering most accidents get made
worse by other drivers gawking.
But I saw it.
The black Mercedes, which of course a chick wouldn’t know,
but I knew, was way cheaper than mine.
And it was outside Seaside, almost to Canon Beach, which
meant only one thing. Alyssa had somehow gone after me and
thought I died. Shit. And then when she asked me to promise her
never to leave or die? Yeah, kind of impossible. If it was possible to
live forever just so she would never experience heartache again, I’d
do it in a heartbeat. I’d do anything for her.
We held hands over the console in complete silence. Alyssa
was still shaking, but at least she was breathing like a normal
human being now. I probably should have told her where I was
going or asked if she wanted to come with me, but I thought she’d
still be too pissed at me to even want to see my face.
I’d been so lost in thought that I’d gone all the way into
Canon Beach and then realized I forgot my wallet. So not only was
I without any sort of ID or cash, but I was driving illegally.
Good times.
“Did you get the taffy?” she finally asked, breaking the tense
silence.
“No.” I laughed at her weird way of breaking the silence. “I
forgot my wallet, so know that I’m totally illegal right now.”
“Want me to drive?” How cute was she?
“And suffer a panic attack? No, I’ll take my chances. Also,
you’ve just suffered a crazy trauma. I mean, I’m alive, but ten
minutes ago you thought I was dead, so yeah, let’s not tempt fate. I
imagine you’re going to be needing Xanax any minute now.”
Alyssa laughed lightly and squeezed my hand. “Um, do you
think we can stop somewhere first?”
“Sure.” I exhaled slowly allowing my heart to go back to its
natural rhythm. “Where do you want to go?”
“Drive past town, then when we get to Astoria, take a left on
the first street before we hit the stoplight.”
“Okay…” And the silence was again deafening as I drove for
the next twenty minutes. It took forever to get on the other side of
Seaside, considering the speed limit was twenty.
Finally, we reached Astoria, and it began to rain. Of course.
Panic set in when I realized where she was taking me. The
cemetery. I pulled into the parking lot and ran around to the other
side of the car to open her door.
Alyssa gave me a sad smile and grabbed my hand. We
walked for a few minutes and then she stopped.
I didn’t want to look at the grave. I already knew who it
was. Instead, I watched her, gauged her reaction. Rain fell across
her cheekbones and ran down to her lips. Some caught in her
mouth, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss the water away.
Soon salty tears mixed with the rain, and I couldn’t tell which was
which, all I knew is I wanted it to be gone. I would bleed myself till
I was dry if she would just have peace.
“Brady.” She choked a sob. “This is Demetri Daniels. He’s
kind of famous.”
“Kind of?” I joked.
Alyssa rolled her eyes and wiped some of the tears and rain
away from her face. “Sorry, my mistake. Brady, this is Demetri
Daniels. He’s a rock god.” She lifted an eyebrow in my direction. I
nodded my head.
“Better.”
“He’s a mess,” she continued. Ouch. “I mean, a huge mess.
As in, he is all kinds of screwed up. He’s a recovering alcoholic and
drug addict. He hates the color purple, he hates birds, and he
refuses to go to zoos.”
I cleared my throat.
“He’s also the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. He’s
kind, generous, funny, and he’s like the sun, always shining, which
I think I kind of need, considering I live in Seaside and all. He
makes the clouds go away, and sometimes when I think of his
smile, I close my eyes and find peace.”
“I’m telling you all of this so you know… my heart… it
didn’t die with you in the accident. I thought it did, but I was
wrong. I thought the pieces were scattered and impossible for me
to put back together again. With Demetri I discovered that my
heart still beat, and the pieces weren’t broken like I thought. They
just needed someone who knew what they were doing.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I love him, Brady. It isn’t the same love that I had with
you…”
My stomach dropped.
“It’s better. Because I finally understand what love is. It isn’t
rainbows and butterflies. It isn’t always pretty. Sometimes it’s
jagged like broken glass, and sometimes it hurts. But love, the type
of love that’s real — the love Demetri has shown me — it’s selfless,
it’s persistent. Real love pushes your boundaries, it pulls until you
snap, and then when you think you can’t take anymore, it’s
relentless in its pursuit of your body, soul, and heart.”
I was immobile as I closed my eyes and listened to the
poetry of her words. Everything was in slow motion, the way the
rain felt against my face as her words echoed in my heart like a
lullaby. Fire ignited my soul at her truth, at the truth of existence,
the truth of what love was.
“I didn’t choose to love Demetri, Brady. It just happened.
But the minute my heart made that decision, it was impossible to
go back. It was like trying to breathe without air. I’m finally okay
with letting you go. I’m finally okay with forgiving you, because I
know whose arms I belong in. I know that the minute I turn away
from your grave, I make the conscious choice to open my heart to
real love. The love every person deserves. Goodbye, Brady.”
I opened my eyes to see Alyssa right in front of me. Makeup
ran down her face, her teeth were chattering, and her clothes were
plastered to her body. I’d never seen anything more beautiful than
her in that moment. Her eyes were shining. Her smile was wide
and bright. I reached out, needing to touch her, needing to know
that this moment between us was real.
“I love you, Alyssa.”
“I love you, Demetri.” She exhaled against my neck. Her
breath was warm, sending chills all the way down my back. “Let’s
get out of here.”
“Wait…” I released her and walked over to the grave. I’d
spent and awful lot of time cursing the guy that I should thank for
saving Alyssa’s life. Granted, he screwed up big time, and I’d be
lying if I said I wouldn’t punch him in the face if he was standing in
front of me. But still, his body shielded her from the accident.
I licked my lips. “Thank you. For protecting her, for saving
her, but most of all, for not being selfish enough to keep her for
yourself when you knew you couldn’t be faithful. I still want to hit
you for all those times you kissed her when I couldn’t. I still cringe
when I think of places your hands were that mine have yet to
explore, but in the end, she’s mine. She’ll always be mine, so thank
you. For finally allowing her to let go.”
Alyssa walked up behind me and looped her arms around
my chest. Her head bent to my back. I closed my eyes and
memorized the moment. Just me and the love of my life, her dead
ex-boyfriend, and the rain. Hell, I couldn’t have written a story this
screwed up. But I’m glad that sometimes even bad things can be
turned to good. I’m glad that the Creator of this messed up
universe saw something redeemable in me and gifted me with an
angel, when I deserved much less.