“She will. I’ll make sure of it,” he replied.
His eyes filled with a passionate determination that broke my heart. He would give our child what he had taken away from him. I couldn’t imagine finding out someone I loved so much was a monster and had hurt someone else I loved.
Jasper’s relationship with Oakley was so touching. I thought I was fairly close to Brad before I met them. I’d do anything for my brother but actually we weren’t really that close at all. So much of Jasper’s happiness was directly linked to Oakley’s, and I know he’d do anything for her. They had the relationship I hoped my child would have with a sibling – way, way, way into the future.
“This still seems like a dream. Actually, the last two and a half months of my life has.”
“I’m sorry, Jasper. I know things have been hard for you recently, and with the divorce still hanging over you, there’s a lot you still have to deal with. Guess this isn’t helping,” I said, placing my hand over our growing baby.
“Hey, this is the one thing keeping me together. I’d planned on getting smashed again tonight. For the past few weeks, I’ve been drifting from one bottle to the next, one woman to the next just trying to forget. My life was quickly going down the toilet, and I didn’t even care.”
He placed his hand over mine.
“This is my reason to get my life together. I don’t want to be a mess anymore. I want you and the baby to be able to rely on me. I promise you I’ll be that man, Holly. I won’t let either of you down.” The way your dad let you down.
“I know you won’t,” I replied. He was going to be great; I knew that already. He’d be there for us both and do whatever was needed to provide for his baby. I wish we were doing this properly. I wish we were together.
In a very short space of time, he’d made me want a life with him, and I didn’t jump into relationships. I was always the careful one that thought things through. My brain seemed to have switched itself off the first time Jasper kissed me, but I didn’t ever want it to turn back on because he made me feel complete.
“What about uni? Seriously?”
“What do you mean, seriously? I said I was going to take a year out.”
“I know but is that the best idea? I have no experience with these things, but I think if I took a year out I wouldn’t want to go back; I didn’t want to go back after the Christmas break at school. You’re different to me. I get that. You’re smart and know what you want, but that doesn’t mean you’ll want to finish, especially with a baby, and I don’t want you to regret that in the future.”
Okay, I could understand that, but he really didn’t know me at all if he honestly thought I wouldn’t finish my degree.
“Jasper, I’ll go back. I just have all this,” I gestured to my stomach, “stuff going on and I’m afraid that if I take on too much it’ll stress me out.”
He frowned, and I knew I’d won him over.
“I don’t want you stressed.”
“Me neither.”
“But we’d make sure you weren’t. I’ll do whatever I can. Don’t let this slip away from you because we’re having a surprise baby.”
“A surprise baby.”
“Well yeah. No offence, but I didn’t exactly expect this.”
“No,” I said and shook my head. “That’s not what I meant. Believe me, I didn’t expect this either. I mean that you said surprise and not mistake.”
“Our baby isn’t a mistake.”
“The time and mother is?”
“No. The time and mother is sort of a surprise too, but a good one.”
Something hit me like a truck.
“Jasper, do you mean the mother is a surprise because there could be more out there?”
He laughed and completely inappropriately, I did too. He had a great laugh, deep and sexy. “No, Holly. You’re the only one I went bareback with. The others I had more… self-control with. Sorry about that. I shouldn’t have put you in this position to begin with. Not that I regret it, or the outcome.”
“It’s fine. Takes two. I could have refused unless you put a condom on. I guess I didn’t have much self-control either.”
He flashed me a grin.
“Especially not when you got going.”
“Okay, that conversation is over,” I said as I felt my cheeks heat. Even after everything we’d done and the confidence he’d given me, I still felt embarrassed when talking about it. I thought that would disappear, but it seemed to be a trait that was sticking.
“Of course it is. Whatever you want I’ll support, just let me know, okay?”
“Sure. Thanks, Jasper.”
He held his arms out. “Come here.”
I climbed on his lap and curled up, closing my eyes. His arms circled my body, and he held me close. I smiled, breathing in his perfect, unique scent.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jasper