I hung up. She was about to blame me for ending it and tell me that I’d given up, and I couldn’t hear that. I loved her, and I didn’t want to hate her completely but if she blamed me for all of this I was going to. But at the same time a part of me wanted to hear that because maybe hating her would stop it hurting.
For the next two hours, I laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Oakley came in once not long after I’d spoken to Abby to tell me that she was popping to Cole’s sisters to drop Everleigh’s bag off because her and Leona had decided they wanted a sleepover.
I was glad of the time alone, but as I moved into an hour and a half as a hermit I wished Oakley was back to distract me.
Finally, when I was just about to go out of my mind or go looking for Brett, someone knocked on the door.
“Jasper,” Cole said. “Can I come in?”
I sat up. “Sure.”
He walked in and leant back against the wall. “You okay?”
“Nope.”
“Sorry, stupid question. You need anything?”
“Everleigh’s with Mia and Leona for the night?”
Cole nodded.
“Then I need something strong.”
“Coming downstairs? Bit too pathetic drinking alone, isn’t it?”
“Thanks, man, you always know what to say,” I replied bitterly and stood up. He was right though; I couldn’t drink alone in the spare bedroom at my sister’s house. That was a level of pathetic I wasn’t quite ready to sink to.
I followed Cole downstairs.
“No lovey stuff tonight,” I said. The last thing I wanted to see was him stroking Oakley’s hair, playing with her fingers or kissing her.
He looked over his shoulder, grinning. “You’re telling me to keep my hands off my wife?”
Oakley laughed, hearing the last bit of our conversation.
“No, I’m ordering you away from her. For tonight, you’re not all in love.” I turned my nose up and reached in their cupboard. “Tonight the only love to be shown is to this great man. Mr Jack Daniels.”
Cole held his hands up. “Fine.”
“Good to see you out of that room,” Oakley said, putting two glasses down on the table.
“You’re not drinking with us?”
“Not that. I’ll have a glass of wine, but I need to be able to drive to pick Everleigh up in the morning.”
“You’re supposed to be working tomorrow.” It was me that should be looking after her while Oakley worked. I loved the days I had her, but right now it was a struggle to do anything, I had no idea how I’d pretend to be happy for her sake.
“It’s fine. Marcus is going to stay until the afternoon when Mum can take Eveleigh for a few hours.”
She’d sorted everything out then.
“Marcus doesn’t mind?”
She shook her head. “Of course not. He’s just concerned for you. And besides, he’s teaching classes until twelve anyway, it’s only an extra hour.”
“Sorry,” I said. I hated letting anyone down but when I let my sister or mum down I felt like crap.
“Pour your drink, and I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you apologise,” she replied.
“Jasper,” Oakley called from the front door.
From the tone in her voice, I could tell that it was Abby. Cole and I had moved our drinking session into the living room. I wasn’t sure if he was being a baby about drinking or letting me have it all, but he’d only had two, small measure JD and cokes. It was almost like he didn’t want to get rat arsed at four in the afternoon.
“Tell her to fuck off.”
“Jasper, please,” Abby shouted. “Come on, please just let me explain. You owe me that much.”
What the fuck? Again with the I owed her and blame in my direction. I jumped off the sofa and flew out of the door. Abby stood outside and Oakley just inside. “Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t owe you shit!”
I stopped behind my sister who took her exit and closed herself in the living room.
“I’m so sorry. I never planned to hurt you. It was a mistake, I swear. Brett means nothing to me. You have to believe me.”
She looked like shit. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Her hair was all over the place, and she was wearing the clothes she put on at home to relax in. I hated that she still looked beautiful, and I still wanted her.
“I love you so much, Jasper.”
I closed my eyes and gripped the doorframe. “Don’t say that. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have screwed someone else.”
“It was just one time.” She held her hand up. “It only happened once, and when he kissed me I should have pushed him away. I was weak. I’m sorry. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you. You’re my husband, and I want us to work. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Did you fuck him in my house?”
“No! Of course not.”
I believed that about as much as I believed it only happened once.
“Do you love him?”
“No.”
“So it was just sex? Or was it the thrill of something new? Am I not enough?”
“Don’t do that. You’re enough, of course you are.”
“Then why, Abby? I thought this was past us. I thought you wanted us.”