“Cool.”
It’d been ages since we’d all been out together. Mum was having Everleigh overnight so Oakley and Cole could both go, and I was planning on getting my sister drunk. I’d only seen her pissed a few times, but it was hilarious.
“Anyway, I better go see what Oakley’s left me to do today,” I said as I walked into the office behind reception.
I flicked open the daybook and groaned as I saw what Oakley had written:
Jasper, Helen has an appointment so won’t be in until 12, please clean the equipment after the Over 50’s Fit Club – I know how much you love doing that!
Vending machine mechanic’s coming at some point to service it – mention the dodgy C2 button – I won’t be happy if I don’t get my Munchies!
She was hilarious! The thought of cleaning off sweaty dumbbells made my stomach turn. Why did the cleaner, Helen have to make her appointment for today? I bet it was done on purpose. Some women in the Over 50’s Club were like dogs on heat, and they had no issue with the fact that they were old enough to be my mum!
I walked back out. Holly was printing some summer classes flyers for the teenage boy that thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks to hand out tomorrow.
“You done something different with your hair? It suits you,” I said, giving my award-winning smile.
She turned, blushing shyly, and then her eyes narrowed. “No, I’m not cleaning the Over’s room for you.”
“Damn it! Did you read the daybook?”
“No, I just learn. As if I’m going to fall for that again.”
“Think I could pay that kid to clean too? His number written anywhere?” He was handing out hundreds of flyers for cash, so I had no doubt that I could sling him twenty quid and he’d clean. He was desperate to get tinted windows on that tin can he called a car.
Holly grinned, suddenly very amused. She picked up a package from the desk.
“These came today. I was going to put them in the cleaner’s cupboard when you came in. Good thing I waited.”
She handed me a pair of yellow rubber gloves.
“You’re so funny,” I muttered. “If I’m not back in twenty minutes come and find me, you know how they are.”
She laughed, taking too much pleasure at the thought of my impending pain.
“Hello, Jean,” I said, taking a subtle step back. She was the worst. Jean was about a stone overweight, wore clothes about a size too small and had straw-like mousy hair, cut into a bob. She also had a heart of gold. But she really needed to watch where she put her hands.
“Jasper, dear, when are you taking me to dinner? I’ve been waiting two years now.”
I laughed. “Jean, that’s George’s job.”
She waved her hand. “Oh that silly old fool’ll never take me. Don’t like the way other people cook, apparently. Doesn’t help that he smoked like a chimney for near thirty years. His taste buds are shot to bits.”
What could I say to that?
I laughed nervously as she took a step closer, now invading my personal space.
“If I were ten years younger, I’d eat you alive.”
I winced. Only ten years younger? That would still put her in the could-be-my-mother category.
“I believe that,” I replied, trying to keep my voice light. I really didn’t want to think about her ‘eating me alive’.
“Are you all done in here now?”
“We are in here. Right, ladies?” Jean said, giving me a wink.
I didn’t ask where she wanted to go, which was obviously what she was hinting at.
“Great, have a lovely day,” I said and sidestepped them all, walking over to the floor mats. They all looked like sweet, almost-old ladies, but they were vultures. One of them, Noreen even grabbed the electrician’s arse when he was working in the hallway. We were lucky no one had tried suing us because of the old cougar club, yet.
“Jasper, dear, how long is that lovely young lady here for?” Jean asked.
They still hadn’t left.
I hauled the pile of mats up and straightened my back, trying not to show anyone how heavy they were.
“She’s here for the summer, then back to uni at the end of September.”
“Oh, such a shame. I was hoping we could hold onto her. She looks fun to corrupt.”
“Now, now, Jean, leave the poor girl alone.”
She pointed at me. “You think I don’t know your reputation, mister? A few years ago you’d have had her crying over you.”
All right, I wasn’t that much of a bastard. I’d never lead anyone on.
“I’m a respectable married man now.”
She laughed from her diaphragm, cocking her head back.
“You’re married, Jasper, I’ll give you that one.”
“Hey, I’m respectable!”
“You’re up here flirting with us fogeys every week.”
My mouth dropped. Did she honestly believe it was me that flirted with them? That was, nor never would be the case.
I smiled, now conscious that a bit of friendly banter and cheeky smile was considered flirting. Was it?