“Of course it will, but it’ll be harder whenever we have one. You know we’ll work out childcare with Oakley.”
We split having Everleigh between us so we could both work at The Centre, so I knew she’d do the same with her niece or nephew. Abby wouldn’t even have to give up work. I wasn’t a chauvinistic bastard, and I didn’t expect her to give up on her career goals. I wanted to do as much as I possibly could. Hell, I’d do it all if I had to.
“Right. So you want to wait a year or…?”
“Maybe we can talk about it again in a year.” Just talk about it again in a year. What if she decided she wanted to talk about it again in another year? I nodded, pretending that I wasn’t so disappointed it was crushing me.
“Okay, we’ll talk next year,” I whispered, forcing a smile. Our night was ruined; I could feel it by the way she dropped her eyes to her dinner and refused to look at me. Did she not want children at all now or was it really just not in the next couple years? I’d wait a few years if that was what she needed but not having them at all would be too much. I couldn’t do that.
I gulped and forced in another mouthful. If she didn’t want kids at all, it was over.
Chapter Six
To say I was in a bad mood was an understatement. I was pissed. My wife was being fucking impossible, and I had no idea if she was bullshitting me and didn’t want a baby at all or genuinely just wanted to wait.
I tried bringing the subject up again, but all I got was her cutting me off and telling me we’d agreed to talk about it in a year’s time. And we hadn’t had sex since the night before our should’ve been romantic evening. We were back to another dry spell.
“Jasper, I think the chip and pin machine is broken,” Holly said, frowning and shaking it as if that was going to magically make it work.
“Some twat is coming to change it tomorrow,” I replied.
Her eyes darted up to mine at my choice of words.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Sighing, I took a seat next to her. Holly had been working with us for a week, and she was doing a great job: she was also a better agony aunt than the ones in Abby’s magazines.
“Nothing, just the usual.”
I’d told Holly all about Abby’s change of baby plan. I hadn’t even told Oakley. There was something about Holly that made you open up, probably because she was the first girl that I wasn’t related to that I didn’t try to pick up – before I was married of course. I didn’t have a girl friend. There was Kerry, but we were only friends through Ben. I wouldn’t admit it to her and let her get a big head, but I really valued Holly’s friendship.
“I’m sure she just needs time, especially if her career is going well.”
I knew I couldn’t be pissed at Abby for that; she deserved to do what she wanted, and I was happy for her, but she had no consideration for the plan we had already made and what I wanted. I hated that she could just change everything on her own without even talking it through with me first. She was all for making decisions together when it suited her.
I nodded. “Yeah. Not much I can do anyway. It’s not even the fact that she’s needs more time – I get that – it’s that she didn’t tell me for ages.”
“I’m sorry,” she said and offered me one of the chocolate biscuits she had in a packet on the desk. I took one and smiled. “You know, it’s really nice to meet a guy that wants to start a family so much, it’s usually the other way around.”
“Well I’ve done the being young and sleeping around thing. Before Everleigh, I wasn’t sure I wanted kids, but she won me over.”
Holly smiled. “She is adorable.”
“She is,” I agreed. “I keep worrying that Abby’s one year will turn to two, then three, and I’ll end up childless with a wife that’s always working. Most of my teachers were old; I know they don’t give it up until they’re Zimmer-frame bound.”
“I don’t think she wants to wait until she’s retired, Jasper. Perhaps promotion opportunities are coming up, and she wants to go for those before she takes a year out to have a baby?”
She did say she wanted to concentrate on her career, so that’s what I took that to mean. When she’s moved up a bit more, she’ll want to have a kid. At least that was what I was telling myself. “Yeah I know. I just hate that we were always on the same page. We made all these plans, and now I feel like she’s going down a completely different road.”
“No,” Holly said, “she’s just taken a detour.”
“You’re a wise one,” I said, patting her head and making her let out a shy laugh. Physical contact with men always made her blush; she even did it when the deliveryman touched her hand as he passed her a pen. It was the reason me and Ben made sure to nudge her or innocently touch her arm whenever we could – it was just funny.
“You’re out tonight, right?” I asked.
Holly nodded. “Oakley’s making me.”