Alex was blushing now, and he looked away, his lips mashed together in a small line, clearly upset with himself. I thought he was going to leave, but then he took a deep breath and did something I never expected him to—he kissed me.
It started out slow and gentle, his lips soft. It took me a moment to react, but when I did, I wrapped my arms around him and wove my fingers into his blond hair. I could hear my pulse roaring in my ears—I was kissing Alex! I’d never thought about kissing him before because he’d always seemed like just a friend, but there was a warm feeling in my chest that bloomed, twisting its way down my arms and legs like a vine, indicating otherwise.
Sammy had told me horror stories about kissing. She referred to one ex-boyfriend as the Snake. He liked to flick his tongue out like a whip, jabbing her repeatedly in the mouth when they made out. Then there was the fling who was so sloppy, she said, that it was like making out with an overripe pear. Since then, I was terrified of my first real kiss. What if whomever I was kissing thought something bad like that about me? But now, in the moment, those thought melted away. Alex’s lips against mine, his hand cupping my face, felt good.
He pulled away to look at me, and I saw that his blue eyes were filled with doubt. I offered him a reassuring smile, and a cheesy grin crept onto his face before he pulled me into another kiss. This one was less careful, more eager. Looping his arm around my back, he pushed me down into the beanbag and pressed his body to mine.
“Hey, Jackie?” Cole asked, opening the door, “Parker said you were in here—”
Alex leaped away from me, but Cole still stopped to gape at us.
For a moment, nobody said anything.
Then Alex scrambled to his feet. “I can leave if you two need to talk,” he said, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.
“Don’t bother,” Cole said flatly. “You two are clearly busy.” He looked at me one last time before slamming the door.
***
Breakfast the next morning was interesting, to say the least. Cole glowered at me over his cereal bowl, making it difficult for me to concentrate on spreading jam on my toast. I dropped the knife to the floor, and a glob of strawberry goo splattered on the linoleum.
“You okay, Jackie?” Nathan asked, bumping his hip against me to get my attention. We were standing next to each other at the counter, me with my breakfast, and him with a brown paper bag he was packing for lunch.
“Yeah, just a bit tired.” That was a lie, but I wasn’t going to tell him the truth with Cole listening. The fact was, I was wired. Last night, I hadn’t been able to sleep at all, yet I felt like I had chugged a whole pack of Alex’s Kickstarts. I couldn’t stop thinking about my kiss with him, and what it would mean for our friendship. What if Alex suddenly got weird and didn’t want to hang out with me anymore? I didn’t want to lose him as a friend, not to mention that seeing him every day around the house would be awkward. Our spur-of-the-moment make-out session was suddenly starting to feel like a bad thing.
“Okay, just make sure you don’t forget that after school my mom is picking us up.”
“What?” I asked, looking up sharply. “Why?”
He glanced at Cole before quickly looking back to me and whispering, “Birthday shopping, remember?”
“Oh.”
After what happened the previous night, I’d completely forgotten that tomorrow was Cole and Danny’s birthday, and I needed to get them both a present. But as we left for school, I had a feeling that Cole didn’t want anything except for me to keep my distance. Normally he made a point of offering me a ride with Nick, and in turn, I always said no. But today he shoved past me as everyone made their way out the front door, not even bothering to look in my direction. He was gone before I could even move off the porch steps, Nick’s black Porsche snaking down the driveway.
All day long during class, I tried to think of something good to get him, something that would fix the problem between us. But in all honesty, what could I possibly buy that said, “Sorry you saw me kissing your brother”? The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Cole had no right to be mad with me. It wasn’t like we were dating.
Besides, I convinced myself as I emerged into the sunlight after my final class period, I didn’t have time to deal with Cole. Something was definitely going on between Alex and me. We didn’t talk about it in anatomy because I was too nervous, but he offered me a huge smile when I walked into class. Hopefully that meant things hadn’t changed between us, and we could forget about the whole kissing thing and just go back to being friends. Then I could pretend it had never happened.
“Hi, kids,” Katherine said, rolling down the window as I walked up to the van. Looking over my shoulder, I saw that Alex, Nathan, and Lee were right behind me, backpacks slung over their shoulders.