“How can I even have these feelings?” I asked, squeezing my eyes shut. “That shouldn’t even be okay since—”
“Since what?” she snapped. “Since your family’s accident? Are you never allowed to love someone again because of that?” The anger in her voice caught me off guard.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that, but…” I paused and took a breath. “Don’t you think it’s too soon?”
“God, Jackie, no!” Sammy gasped, horrified. “It’s not like there are rules detailing the right way to mourn. Being in a relationship might be a good thing.”
“How?”
“It could help you heal,” she said, “And, I don’t know…move on?”
I nodded my head and told Sammy, “Yeah, okay,” even if I didn’t mean it. Why was she acting like I needed to be fixed? I was here in Colorado, living my life. I didn’t need a relationship to heal or whatever, and I most definitely didn’t need Cole.
***
On Monday, we all piled out of the truck when we got to school. Danny and I had to wait for everyone to grab their backpacks because ours were at the bottom of the pile.
“So, how was being grounded?” Danny asked.
It was the first thing he’d said to me since our afternoon in the auditorium. He wasn’t ignoring me per se—he’d nodded at me this morning when we ran into each other in the hallway—and I had accepted that Danny was a silent type.
“Good.” I was pleasantly surprised that he actually started a conversation with me. We were making progress! “The lights went out, but I got a bunch of homework done,” I said. Danny slung his backpack over his shoulder and nodded his head. “How was your weekend?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation going as we made our way into the building.
“I don’t like camping.”
“Really?” I asked, and my voice pitched up, revealing my surprise. I thought all of the Walter boys enjoyed the outdoors. After all, they grew up on a ranch.
“All those creepy, crawly bugs freak the crap out of me,” he said.
I choked, thinking for a moment that he was being serious.
“I’m kidding,” he said quickly, but it was hard to tell because his face was so serious. “About the bugs, at least. I’m more of an indoors kind of guy.”
“You live in the middle of nowhere,” I pointed out.
He shrugged. “My drama class went on a field trip to Chicago freshman year, and it just felt right. I’d rather live in the city.”
“Yeah, there’s something about all those people, the busy streets, and the movement—it makes you feel alive.” Danny was gazing at me now with a look I couldn’t quite decipher, so I went on. “If you enjoyed Chicago, you’ll love New York.”
“New York,” he repeated slowly.
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s the best place in the world.”
“I got the part,” he said, suddenly changing the subject.
I blinked. “Oh, right,” I finally responded, realizing he was talking about Romeo and Juliet. “Congratulations, Danny. That’s great news.”
“Thanks,” he said, and then he was gone, disappearing into crowded hallway.
Chapter 11
The next two weeks passed quickly, the days blending together. But today was different. When I got home from school, I went straight for the kitchen, which had been transformed into a bakery since we left this morning. Mrs. Walter was pulling a pan of cookies out of the oven—I had been able to smell them from the front porch—and four whole sheets of warm, gooey goodness were already waiting on silver cooling racks.
“Hi, Jackie,” she said, scooping a few cookies up with a spatula. “How was your day?”
“It was good,” I answered automatically. “Those smell amazing. What’s the occasion?”
“Thanks, honey.” She placed half a dozen cookies on a plate. “It’s the twins’ turn to bring a snack to their soccer game tomorrow. Speaking of the twins, can you go find them for me? I haven’t seen them in hours.”
“Sure,” I said. “Which ones?”
“Oh!” Mrs. Walter laughed. “Zack and Benny. Here, take these with you.”
She handed me the plate, and I made my way to the monsters’ room, glad that I had a peace offering. As soon as I reached the top of the stairs, Zack poked his head out the door.
“Are those chocolate chip?” he asked me.
“Yup,” I said, holding the plate over my head and out of reach. I was amazed he hadn’t smelled them before now—the entire house smelled like cookies. “Before I give you any, I need to know where Benny is.”
“In here,” Zack said, grabbing my free hand and tugging me inside his room. “He’s here with Parker. Guys, Jackie has cookies!”
In a matter of seconds, both boys and Parker were circling around my legs, demanding baked goods, and I felt like a swimmer swept out into open water.
“Okay, okay!” I said, laughing nervously.