How could she leave without saying goodbye? Without letting me beg her to stay?
Pain shoots through my hand as I punch the wall, but it’s easier to take than the empty ache tearing me apart.
I sink to the floor as Gavin flies to a nearby tree—away from the crazy boy freaking out.
“Why would she leave?” I ask the night, the wind, the stupid bird.
Nobody answers.
Then my eyes wander to the crumpled pile of leaves—the bed she’s slept in for ten years. I inhale the sticky, dusty air she’s sweat in every day while I relaxed in my air-conditioned bedroom.
She’s made nothing but sacrifices for me. Can I blame her for needing a break from it all? Even from me?
I can. But I’ll try to understand.
Plus, she left me a promise.
Be home soon.
She’s coming back. Soon.
I touch her trace in the air, drawing comfort from the gentle tugging in the pit of my stomach. She’s tethered to me. Permanently connected. It won’t be hard to find her if I want to track her down.
But I’ll wait.
And hey—at least I’m not the only one she left behind.
I glare at her dumb bird and he glares back at me. At least she ditched him, too. Though, now I’m stuck with her annoying pet.
Gavin flaps and screeches, like he’s thinking the same thing.
I roll my eyes.
Then I call a passing Westerly and add my own words to its song. I tie the draft to her trace and send the wind away, letting it reach her at its own pace.
I’ll miss you.
I’ve waited ten years for her.
I’ll wait as long as it takes.
I hope she finds what she’s looking for. Until she does, I’ll be here. Alone, under the calm sky. Waiting for the wind to return.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I never planned to write this book—and when I grabbed my laptop at four a.m. and started recording the angsty, sarcastic voices that had been keeping me awake, I never thought I would let anyone read it. This was my secret project, just for fun and just for me, and the only reason that changed was because of the help and support of many amazing people.
First and foremost, my wonderful husband, Miles. Thank you for your patience, for eating takeout almost every night, and for not getting (too) freaked out by the fact that I was spending a large amount of time with an imaginary hot boy. Most especially, thank you for always finding a way to make me smile and for all the emergency cupcake deliveries.
I also must thank Mom and Dad for always believing in me, and the rest of my friends and family (you know who you are) for being you, and for bearing with me as I struggle to keep up with my hectic schedule.
To Laura Rennert, my ineffable literary agent, thank you for your incredible guidance and for being there to build me up, answer my questions, or tell me to relax—whichever I need most. I’m not sure the world has enough tea to keep you adequately caffeinated for tackling my abundant e-mails, but I adore you for keeping up with them anyway!
I also must thank Lara Perkins, the rest of the Andrea Brown Literary team, Taryn Fagerness, and Sean Daily for taking care of the many complicated aspects of this business so that I don’t have to.
To Liesa Abrams Mignogna, where do I even begin? I could not have handled launching two series if you weren’t my editor. Thank you for making every deadline, every marathon writing session, even copyedits feel easy and fun (well . . . okay, maybe not copyedits . . .) and for helping me shape my stories into what they should be. I still can’t believe that I get to work with such a talented editor and call her my friend. Wonder Twin powers, activate!
I also want to thank everyone—seriously, everyone—at my amazing publisher, Simon & Schuster, for their enthusiasm, support, and general awesomeness, especially Katherine Devendorf, Jennifer Klonsky, Bethany Buck, Mara Anastas, Anna McKean, Carolyn Swerdloff, Lucille Rettino, Paul Crichton, Mary Marotta, and the entire sales team. I am so deeply grateful for how hard you all work to bring my books into the world. Tremendous thanks also go to Guillian Helm for her spot-on notes, to Angela Goddard for designing my breathtakingly beautiful cover, to Brian Oldham for his gorgeous photography, and to Brian Oldham and Megan Scalise for bringing Vane and Audra to life.