His sobs have stopped. So has his shaking.
I hold my breath as I meet his eyes, afraid of what I might see.
Vane stares at me. Unsure. Weary.
But it’s him again.
My turn to cry.
He reaches up, smoothing my hair. Wiping my tears.
“I really thought I lost you this time,” I whisper. “I’ve lost you so many times, so many different ways. I can’t do it again.”
“You won’t have to,” he promises.
Yes, I will.
He puts his finger on my lips, stopping me before I can say it out loud.
“Whatever you’re going to say, let me say something first.” He takes a ragged breath and sits up on his own, wiping the sand from his face.
He takes my hands. “I’m barely holding it together right now—and the only thing keeping me from losing it all over again is you. So I don’t care about laws or oaths or betrothals. I care about you. I need you.”
We stare at each other, neither daring to move. Holding our breath.
“I won’t force you,” he tells me.
I know what he’s asking me to do—and I want to do it. Oh, how I want to.
But can I? Should I?
I study his hands. His eyes. His mouth.
There are so many things about him I want. But that’s it. I want him. All of him.
Who has the right to keep us apart? To tell us it’s wrong? That we don’t belong together, when everything about us proves we do. There’s something between us—something deeper than the Gales. Than our laws. Than my oath.
I’m tired of denying it.
So I lean forward. His hands cup my face, soft enough that I can pull away if I want to.
I don’t want to.
I close my eyes and take one more breath. Then I press my lips against his.
CHAPTER 55
VANE
All the times I imagined this moment, I never got it right.
Her lips are sweeter and softer, and they fit against mine like we were formed that way. Everything about us matches. Our breathing. Our movements. And the heat. The delicious fire that ripples through my body before it rushes back to hers.
She clings to me as hard as I cling to her, her hands sliding down my back as I grab her waist and press her against me, so there’s no space between us. I’ll never let anything separate us again.
Now I know why they call it “bonding.”
As we burn and connect, parts of her meld to me. Her strength. Her determination. Her honor. They flow to the cracks in my heart and fill them. Heal the places the violence crushed and shattered. Make me whole. I know I’m doing the same for her.
We were two broken, incomplete people.
Now we’re one.
No one will ever understand me the way she will.
No one will ever understand her the way I will.
And no one will be able to change that. We’ve melted together and been reforged into something stronger. Something better.
My hands slide back up to her face, stroking her cheeks before they move to her hair. I want to unravel her stupid braid, let the silky strands fall free so they can tickle my skin. But it’s not worth breaking away. I want to stay right here, right now. Holding her against me. Our lips moving together in a perfect rhythm. Never letting go.
Audra’s the one who finally pulls away—like I knew it’d have to be.
Her chest heaves as she gasps for breath, and I grin when I see her flushed cheeks. The light in her eyes. Her swollen lips.
I did that.
And God—I want to do it some more.
I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her again, slower this time. Like we have all the time in the world. Because we do. We’re safe. The Stormers are gone and . . .
Memories I’m trying not to think about flash before my eyes and everything in me twists upside down and inside out. I break away, holding my head like that could wrangle my thoughts away from the horror show still replaying in my mind.
“What’s wrong?” Audra asks, stroking my cheek.
Her touch calms the panic a little. “I can’t. Not with . . .”
She frowns for a second, and then I see her put the pieces together. Her eyes dart to the place I’m trying not to look.
Even with the added strength from my bond to Audra, I’m not sure I can see it—him. See his lifeless, broken form. Not without going back to the dark place I sank into.
“Close your eyes,” she whispers when I start to shake again.
I don’t argue. I squeeze my eyes shut and press my hands against my ears. But I still feel the winds Audra calls to wrap around the body and float it far, far away.
Somewhere out there is the other Stormer I knocked from the sky. I shiver, even though the sky has cleared and the heat’s beating down in full force.
I hope we never find him.
I can accept what I’ve done—sort of. But I know it’ll haunt me forever. And I don’t ever want to do it again.
Which leaves the bigger question.
I force my eyes open and take Audra’s hands. “Now what?”
“I have no idea. I need to speak with my mother. I hope she isn’t . . .” She looks away.