COMING HOME TO AN empty house is not my idea of happiness. I’ve been counting the hours until I could return home. Until I could hold Ryley and play ball with EJ in the backyard. This mission was short compared to some, and longer than I wanted to be gone. I have no control over the time though. I’m just happy to be home.
The house has an eerie feel, almost somber. It’s too quiet for my liking. I turn on the TV to create some background noise. The luggage in the corner catches my eye. I rifle through it. I’m nosey. It’s my nature. It’s all women’s clothing but nothing Ryley would wear. Maybe Carter and Lois had a fight while I was gone and she’s been staying here. I doubt it, but it’s better than thinking Ryley has suddenly taken on a transient with her fashion taste.
I walk into the kitchen and pull a beer out of the fridge. I should call Ryley and tell her I’m home, but surprising her would be best, I think. I love seeing the look on her face when I come home. The way she feels pressed against my body after I’ve been gone. I’ve missed her terribly and need to hold her.
Sitting down on the couch, I pick up the pad of paper, hoping to find a note as to where she might be. It’s just her doodles, the silly little drawings that she used to do back in high school.
She draws swirly designs all over her notepad. I don’t know why girls do this. Is it so they don’t have to make eye contact with us? If so, that’s the stupidest reason ever. She didn’t even move when I sat down. I saw her in the hall earlier and almost lost my shit. Evan is going to freak out when he finds out. I send him a quick text, letting him know that the angel that saved him from purgatory is sitting next to me in class. I sort of want to ask her to look at me so I can razz him later about the shiner he gave her. I’ve never seen him so p-ssy whipped by a girl he doesn’t even know.
I wish I could remember her name. If I did, I could introduce myself again. I wasn’t paying attention yesterday because I thought she was just another piece of ass for Evan. But he acted differently around her at the park, and I’ve never seen him stare at the phone for so long. That’s where I found him this morning – asleep with his head on top of the phone. He had a nice indent when he woke up.
She peers at me, and I smile. She probably thinks I’m creepy. I probably am creepy. Her head pops up and now she’s full on staring. I close my mouth, afraid that I have something in my teeth. Evan has been making me drink those damn protein shakes in the morning to bulk up, but I know I brushed my teeth. There can’t be any residue left. Right?
‘You look just like your brother,’ she blurts out and I’m rewarded with the most glorious shade of red as she blushes. Her beautiful hair, I’d say it was the color of a red autumn leaves, tries to hide her face, and I’m tempted to reach out and push it behind her ear.
Wait, what?
This is Evan’s girl.
I can’t touch her.
But I want to.
I laugh, and it’s awkward. She turns to face me again. Her eyes pierce mine. She thinks I’m laughing at her. I’m not. I’m laughing at my idiotic heart that is falling for a girl my brother desperately wants. Oh, the irony.
‘We’re twins, and you just made the other me very happy.’ Where do I come up with this crap? We’re twins? And why do I care if he’s happy? I want her for myself. Maybe she’ll see just how much of a douche Evan can be, and I can console her.
She clears her throat and faces the front. I want her to turn and stare at me so I can form the perfect picture tonight before going to bed. I want to memorize every inch of her porcelain face and hold her delicate hands in mine. I want to protect her from the world.
I turn away when she glances at me. I shouldn’t have these feelings but I can’t help it. Evan’s right, she’s an angel. But if she’s the angel, he most certainly is the devil and I know I’ll have to bide my time until he’s moved on. I’ll be there to mend her broken heart, even if the wait kills me.
Evan texts back asking me if I’m serious. I could lie, but that will only work until he sees her himself. She's new; everyone will be talking about her. I can’t hide her as much as I’d love to.
‘Evan has been pacing by the phone waiting for you to call. He’s going to be outside that door when the bell rings now that he knows you’re here.’
She looks at the door and back at me. Her expression is stoic. Her hands clutch the end of her desk, and her knuckles turn white.
‘What was your name again?’ I ask my tongue thick in my throat.
‘Ryley Clarke,’ her voice is barely above a whisper but it’s enough to make the hairs on my arm stand tall.
‘What’s yours?’
I like that she cares even if she’s just returning the gesture.
‘Nate. Nate Archer.’ This is my opportunity to touch her so I extend my hand for her to shake. I feel my eyes go wide when we shake hands. ‘Like I said, Evan will be very happy to see you.’ I want to add that she should run in the opposite direction and that I’ll be there to meet her. I’m the good one of the bunch. Not him.
My heart races the closer the second hand gets to the bell. I wish I had never sent that text and just talked to her myself. What harm would that have done? I could’ve easily told Evan I forgot what she looked like. He wouldn’t have bought it since he spent the night reciting everything that he loved about her. I know once he gets her into the backseat of his car he’ll be done with her. I won’t mind. I can’t fight what my heart wants.
The bell signals the end of class and Mr. Reed throws his pen onto his desk and waves the students out. It’s only the first day and he already looks flustered. I gather my things slowly and walk down the aisle staying one step behind Ryley. I’m trying not to watch her, but I can’t help it.
I let her go in front of me and as soon as we’re both facing the door, I see Evan. His head is bent slightly and he’s watching her like a hawk watches his prey. When Donna, his weekly ‘friend’ walks by, I think he’ll start watching her, but her presence doesn’t faze him. That doesn’t bode well for me.
I hate my brother right now. The coolness oozes off him. I didn’t get the sex appeal gene. I got the brains. Why can’t I have both? He beckons her with his finger and she goes, just like every other girl in this school. He looks up at and catches me watching and shakes his head. He’s telling me she’s off limits.
I don’t wait to see what happens next. I put my head down and walk to my locker. Letting the regret build with each step I take.
I should’ve never texted him.
Footsteps bound up the front porch steps. I place my beer on the table and smile at the memory of the first day I met Ryley. Everything could’ve been different. But like I predicted, I was here to pick up the pieces when Evan died. It’s not how I wanted things to be with us, but I’ll take whatever I can get.
The front door opens and Ryley walks in. She’s laughing and looking behind her. She doesn’t know I’m here, reminding me that we need to talk about security and her being cautious when I’m not home. I see the top of EJ’s head, knowing instantly that someone is carrying him. He’s being held too high up and I know that it can’t be Lois holding him.
They step in and all eyes are on me. My throat closes as we stand there, staring at each other. I blink, closing my eyes tightly and pray that when I open them all I see are Ryley and EJ standing before me.
When I open them my worst nightmare has come true. A ghost is holding my son. The boy I’ve raised from the day he was born. A man I buried years ago stands before me, who just a moment ago was laughing with my fiancée.
I look from him to Ryley and back. I don’t even want to think about what’s been going on or how the hell he ended up in our living room.
“Daddy,” EJ says, and the only solace I feel right now is running toward me after being set down. I scoop him up and look at my dead brother as he eyes me with his newly found possession.
“How are you here?” I ask, clearly in shock.
“Ah, don’t be so surprised little brother. It’s not like you didn’t know I was alive.”
I didn’t.