My throat burned, and I swallowed hard to try to stop myself crying, but it was no use. I buried my head in his hoodie and cried silently so no one would hear.
Although we never spoke about my feelings for Cole, Mum and Jasper knew I was still in love with him. On the rare occasion I went out, Mum had encouraged me to meet someone else, but I couldn’t help comparing them all to Cole – and they never lived up to him. No else one could make me feel normal.
I laid in bed awake for most of the night, thinking about what Jasper had said. I tried not to let any doubt enter my mind, but when he said things like that, I couldn’t help it. Did I do the right thing? Was Mum right when she had said he could come to a school here? They had the course he’d wanted to do, but it wasn’t the university he wanted. All his family and friends were in England too. If he had come, would he have ended up resenting me for making him give all that up?
I groaned and ran my hands over my face. Going over it again wasn’t helping. I had made the decision, and I had to live with it, and so did he. Soon enough though, I’d get to see whether Cole felt I’d done the right thing, or if I’d made he biggest mistake of both of our lives
Our suitcases were already in the boot of the car. Mum and Jasper were having a quick tidy before we left for the airport, so I took the last opportunity I would get to do something I knew Mum hadn’t.
“Back soon,” I called from the front door so I could get out before anyone questioned where I was going. I walked along the beach and knowing this was the last time for a while gave me a heavy heart. The beach was my getaway, and I was going to miss it.
His house wasn’t too far from ours, so I made it in just over five minutes. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on his door and waited.
“Oakley, hi,” Miles said, frowning a little and shaking his head in confusion. I knew where he lived but had never gone round before.
“Hi. Can I come in for a minute?” Miles stepped aside, making room for me to walk in. “Has she told you we’re going back to England?” I asked, deciding to get straight to the point. There had been a lot of miscommunication between them, so I wanted to be clear.
His face fell, and I wanted to slap my mum for being so blind to how much he cared about her. “No, she hasn’t. How long are you going for?”
“I’m not sure. However long the trial lasts I suppose.”
“Right. Of course. Sorry, I didn’t think.”
I waved my hand, making light of the situation. “It’s fine. I just thought you should know. Look, Miles, she likes you but you’re gonna have to make the first move. She’s scared and stubborn. She needs to see how much you care.”
He smiled and nodded, brushing his dark, greying hair with his hand. “How?”
I laughed at the thought of giving a forty-something-year-old man love life advice.
“She’s insisting on leaving her mobile here, so she can concentrate on me, apparently. I know she’s just scared though, so here,” I said, handing him a piece of paper. “That’s my mobile number. The trial’s going to be hard for her too, and as much as she will not admit it, she would really appreciate you calling. Don’t email, she can avoid that.”
“Right.” He smiled. “Thank you. I’ll call. I promise.” Miles took the paper, slipping it in his back pocket.
“I know you will, or I’ll get Jasper to kick your arse when we get back,” I joked.
He laughed quietly and shook his head. “I hope everything goes well. Oh, is that the right thing to say?” he asked and grimaced.
“I’m not sure, so yes, that’s okay. Thanks, Miles.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. “Okay, good. You’ll let me know how everything goes?”
I smiled, raising my eyebrows. “Mum will, when you call.”
“Alright,” he replied with a chuckle. “I’ll see you when you get back then?”
I nodded, walking back to the door. “See ya later.”
“Bye, Oakley.”
I really hoped he would call. As scared as Mum was, she deserved to be happy. Miles was a great guy. Nothing like my dad.
As always, Jasper was waiting for me when I got back. I had only been gone twenty minutes. “Everything’s fine,” I told him before he could ask.
“Oh good you’re back, honey. Jasper, have you got your passport?” Mum said and locked the front door. I got in the back of the car because I knew Jasper would probably moan like a child if he couldn’t sit in the front.
“Yeah,” he grunted and got in the seat in front of me. “Why didn’t you ask Oakley that too?” Mum shot him a sarcastic smile that made me laugh. “Whatever,” he mumbled under his breath.
“You emailed Jenna, right? They definitely know we’re coming back for a while?” I asked.