Would Dad have some believable excuse or elaborate story that the jury would believe? It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he did.
I eventually gave in to the fact that sleep was not going to come anytime soon and got up. It was one in the morning so Cole probably wouldn’t appreciate a call now.
I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. Mum was sitting at the table drinking tea. I blinked to make sure I really had seen her.
“Mum?”
Her head snapped up to me. “Oh, hi, sweetheart. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just couldn’t sleep. What about you?”
“Same.”
I chewed my lip and sat down opposite her. Drinking tea at one in the morning wasn’t a good sign.
“Can we talk, or are you going to bed?”
“No. Of course we can talk. I’ll make us a drink; this one’s cold now anyway.”
I watched Mum boil the kettle and get the mugs out. She was too calm. That meant something was bothering her. Dad.
“Are you okay, Mum?”
She nodded and busied herself making hot chocolate. I smiled as she sat back down, handing me a mug.
“What do you want to talk about?” she asked.
“Dad, and what happened earlier.”
She pursed her lips and nodded once. “I thought so.”
“I know you said you didn’t want to see him, but if you’re only doing that because of me then please don’t. You were married for a long time, so I understand if there are things you need to talk to him about. If you want answers or—”
“Oakley, I appreciate you thinking of me, but I hate that man. You won’t understand until you’re a mother yourself, but when someone hurts your child you want to kill them.”
I blinked in shock. I knew that Mum loved me, but I didn’t understand how deeply.
“I stopped loving him the second I found out what he’d done. If I had the opportunity I would pull the trigger on him myself.”
Mum had never said anything like that to me before. It made me want to cry. I finally realised how wrong Dad had been: Mum would never have abandoned me for speaking out. I wish I had known that years ago, but I was a kid, and I believed my dad.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you.” A tear slid down her face and I instantly got up, moving around to her side of the table and hugging her. No.
“Please, please stop apologising, Mum. There was no way you could have known what was happening,” I whispered and blinked to clear the tears. Mum had said sorry so many times over the past four years, but it wasn’t her that should be sorry.
“I should have,” she murmured against my hair. “I don’t understand how you’re not angry with me.”
“Because it wasn’t your fault.”
She pulled back and wiped the tear from my face. “I’m so proud of you. The way you’re handling everything is unbelievable. You deserve to be happy. Cole makes you happy, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah, he does.”
“I bet he’d come to Australia if you asked him.”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t ask him to do that four years ago and I won’t now.”
“You could always move back here.”
“Trying to get rid of me?”
“Yeah, you’re a pain in the arse. Seriously, though, it’s something you should consider if you want it.”
“I don’t think I could live here again.”
Her face fell as she understood exactly why I couldn’t be here. Too much reminded me of Dad and Frank, and Cole’s parents lived so close to our old house. Although I’d moved on as much as I could and can now talk about it without breaking down, I still wasn’t ready for all those physical reminders.
“Don’t let them ruin your happiness, Oak. Find a way of being with Cole if that’s what you want. He’s one of the good ones, you know.”
I grinned. “I know he is. I just don’t know if it could work. If he moved to Australia and left behind his family, friends, dream job, and now his house, he’d end up resenting me.”
“You’re wrong. That boy could never resent you.”
“He might, and I’m not willing to take that risk.”
Mum shook her head at me and smiled as if to say, you silly girl. I don’t think anyone truly understood my feelings for Cole though. He would always come before me.
“Miles is one of the good ones, too.”
I held my breath as I waited for her to respond.
She sighed and stroked the handle of the mug.
“Miles and I are friends. That is all either of us want.”
I opened my mouth to argue her blatant lie. They were both crazy about each other.
“Please,” she said. “Not tonight.”
“Okay. Another night then.”
“Have you spoken to Cole much about the trial?” she asked, changing the subject.
“A little.”
“You never speak to me about it.” She frowned, hurt. Why would she want me to talk about it with her? He was her husband. No one wanted to hear the man they built a life with was a monster.
“I didn’t think you’d want to. I didn’t want you to feel guilty.”