Breath of Yesterday (The Curse Series)

CHAPTER 14

 

 

 

 

 

A fly kept circling my head, and I just couldn’t get rid of it. I worried that my not-too-pleasant smell had attracted 

 

it. I’d frankly had enough of that myself. It had been days since I’d been able to wash myself. On top of that had 

 

been the physical strain and a night spent in close embrace with Barra—neither of which had exactly made me smell of 

 

roses.

 

As the fly came at me again, I started thrashing as far as my tied-up hands would allow.

 

I thought the men had completely forgotten about me, because nobody had paid me any mind since Dougal had thrown a piece 

 

of bread my way in the morning. Nobody spoke to me. And Duncan—who had threatened me only yesterday—was nowhere to be 

 

seen.

 

Something was obviously happening, though, because all the men were standing close together, looking irritated and 

 

gesticulating. The wind carried only bits and pieces of their words over to me. Plus, I could only make out very little 

 

because the boy who had arrived here yesterday with Sean’s group was holding the reins of a horse that blocked my field 

 

of vision.

 

Just when I spotted Ross’s red shock of hair in the crowd, he was already making his way back to me. He crossed the 

 

campsite, lifting a few things here and there to stow in his horse’s saddlebags. He then strapped his sword to his back 

 

and tied back his long hair with a leather band.

 

It was truly fascinating how normal all of this seemed after such a short time. These men didn’t seem to miss running 

 

water or a warm bed. They just covered themselves with their thin plaids and inched up closer to the fire at night. Even 

 

I had slept fairly well, despite the rock-hard ground and the cold night air. Barra had not left my side all night, so I

 

’d stayed snug and comfortably warm.

 

The dog now jumped up and happily scampered toward her master. But he pushed her off when she excitedly placed her front 

 

paws on his chest and licked his neck with her wet, sloppy tongue.

 

“Sguir, Barra! Stop it!”

 

Ross looked down at me.

 

“Get up so I can untie you.”

 

He wasn’t in the best of moods, so I did my best to quickly follow his orders.

 

“What’s going on?” I asked.

 

“Do you seriously think these gentlemen deem it necessary to share their high-and-mighty plans with me?” he griped. “

 

You and I are just chess pieces in this game of kings—we are pawns, if you will. Good enough to put our necks on the 

 

line, or clean up after them!”

 

He kept muttering while pulling at the ties around my waist. He was in such a foul mood that even Barra lowered her tail 

 

and hung her head.

 

Once he’d untethered me from the tree, I held out my still-tied hands. But he shook his head no.

 

“Those you will keep. What do you think would become of me if I lost you? You should be glad that we’re in a hurry, 

 

because Dougal told me yesterday that he wouldn’t ride another horse into the ground on account of your comfort, and 

 

that as of today you would have to walk.”

 

Appalled, I pulled back my hands and did my best to fight back the urge to try to turn around and run.

 

Ross must have felt that, because he grabbed my arm and pulled me with him.

 

“As I said, we’re in a hurry, so don’t give me any trouble. Let’s get moving. You don’t have to be afraid of Dougal 

 

for now.”

 

I felt pins and needles in my legs, so I awkwardly stumbled after him as he led me to the horses. There I noticed Sean. 

 

He had his back to me, but it gave me fresh hope that I’d be able to talk to him in private—if he were to come with 

 

us. Then everything could finally be made right again.

 

As we reached the small group of men by the horses, Ross suddenly stopped—which made me slam into him.

 

“Ifrinn!” he cussed, slapping his forehead. “I left something back there. You help this woman onto the horse, and I’

 

ll be right back.”

 

He thrust the reins into the hands of a young Scot standing there, and he disappeared in the direction from which we had 

 

just come. I looked after him, irritated. But then I felt a tug on my hands, and I lifted my eyes.

 

 

 

For the duration of a heartbeat I looked into his face. Then the world stopped. Time and space ceased to exist. 

 

Endorphins flooded my brain, blinding me like a supernova, and everything was ablaze with an almost painfully bright 

 

light.

 

Payton!

 

Before that heartbeat ended, the light retreated and I realized that even though I had found Payton McLean, the man I 

 

would love more than life itself sometime in the distant future, there was no spark of recognition in his eyes.

 

That knowledge felt like a punch in the gut. I staggered backward, wanting to tear away and escape back to the world 

 

where Payton’s hands had touched me with loving tenderness. But his grip was merciless. His face was completely void of 

 

emotion as he yanked me back.

 

“What do you think you’re doing? Stay here, woman!” he snarled.

 

I could not take my eyes off his face. There was irritation in his brown eyes as he looked me over.

 

His hair was a bit longer than in his modern-day edition. And the color was lighter, which made me think he must be 

 

spending a lot of time outdoors. He seemed so familiar, and yet so completely alien. I couldn’t help but feel drawn to 

 

him; my body tingled all over in anticipation of his touch. At the same time, I shook like a leaf because my feelings 

 

for this stranger frightened me to the core. I wanted to brush that stray strand of hair from his face and to trace his 

 

lips with my fingers.

 

I blinked when I noticed that he didn’t have that little scar on his chin.

 

“Are you deaf? Get on!” he snapped. He held out his interlocked hands to help me climb onto the horse. I shook my head 

 

to get rid of this confused chaos inside my mind.

 

But Payton was running low on patience. And with a mumbled curse I didn’t understand, he grabbed me by the waist and 

 

lifted me onto the horse in one forceful move. My skin under the old housedress tingled as though his hands had burned 

 

through the coarse fabric, and a muffled sigh escaped my lips.

 

The expression on his face was gruff and distant, and his eyes all but warned me not to cause any trouble. Then Ross 

 

returned, and before I could gather my thoughts, the redheaded Scot sat up behind me and drove his horse away from the 

 

man who held my heart in his hands.

 

He held it without even knowing me. And I knew he’d be willing to give his life for me someday in the distant future. 

 

But right now he was walking away without even turning around.

 

I watched him hurry over to a better, more handsome horse. He jumped on it with great ease and swiftly pulled past us. 

 

It hurt so much that he didn’t see me—that he didn’t realize somewhere deep inside who I was, and didn’t immediately 

 

fall in love with me all over again.

 

On the other hand, I wondered whether my feelings for him were wrong. Was I deceiving the Payton who waited for me in 

 

the present because I felt drawn to his former self? Could modern-day Payton, the one I loved so much, already be inside 

 

this rougher former version of him?

 

One thing was for sure. His presence completely threw me. The similarities between this Payton and my Payton were so 

 

strong that they evidently tricked my senses. I swore I could still detect his warm, familiar scent even as he rode well 

 

ahead of us. And I knew I could still feel his hand around my waist.

 

 

 

Time passed, and all I could do was stare at the strong back in front of me. Several times I tried to make Payton turn 

 

around by sheer willpower, but he stubbornly kept his eyes on the road ahead.

 

By now I was very familiar with every little movement of the muscles underneath his shirt, and I wished Ross would ride 

 

closer so I could see the tiny beads of sweat on the back of his neck. I could just imagine what it would be like to run 

 

my hands through his sweaty hair and pull him to me for a kiss.

 

A sigh escaped my chest, and Ross shifted nervously in the saddle behind me.

 

“Are you okay? Saddle sore?” he asked.

 

“Hmm? Saddle sore? No…I mean…I’ll be okay. But why are we falling so far behind?”

 

Ross clicked his tongue. He leaned over to examine his horse’s back hoof.

 

“Do you see the difference between my horse and theirs?” he said, pointing ahead with his hand holding the reins.

 

I nodded. Even I could tell that our horse was older and in worse shape than Payton’s or Sean’s.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“Twice the weight is getting to him. He didn’t get much of a break because I was up all night with him, making sure 

 

the area around our campsite was safe. Dougal knows that my horse struggles enough with just my weight, and that was why 

 

he took you on his horse yesterday. But we have only a few more miles to go now. We’re already on McRae’s sheep 

 

pastures. Which is why it is no problem for us to go a bit easier on the horse.”

 

In actuality, the others had now disappeared from sight, and Ross was letting his horse go even slower than before.

 

Amid all this calm and quiet, I suddenly felt an urgent nature call, and I nervously drummed my fingers on my thighs. A 

 

few more miles, he’d said. How long would it take to travel a few miles? And would there even be a restroom there? Or 

 

just a few more Scotsmen who could watch me disappear behind a bush?

 

I swallowed my pride and squeezed out my concern: “Ross…I’m really sorry. I know we don’t have time, but I really 

 

have to go.…”

 

“Have to go where?” he asked, still deeply absorbed in observing his horse’s hind leg.

 

“Jesus, I have to go pee!” I snapped. I couldn’t believe it didn’t seem to occur to him that I maybe had to use the 

 

restroom once a day or so.

 

He sat up in his saddle, stiff as a poker, and looked at me suspiciously.

 

“Now?” he asked skeptically.

 

“Now?” I gave a testy reply, mimicking him. “No, if you must know, I’ve been needing to go for, like, ever, but now 

 

I can’t hold it any longer!”

 

Ross stopped his horse but didn’t show the slightest inclination of letting me get off.

 

“Listen, Samantha, I really don’t want to hurt you, but I will if you try to trick me. For the first time in my life I

 

’m on the right track—and I won’t make the mistake of letting you escape. Go relieve yourself. But if you’re not 

 

back in an instant, I will send the dogs after you. Do you understand?”

 

Did I understand? Oh yes, I understood all too well! This guy was insane! I was stuck in the goddamn past with a crazy 

 

person threatening to set his rabid dogs on me.

 

“I’ll be right back, I promise! If you want, I can keep talking to you for the entire time. Just please keep your dogs 

 

at bay.”

 

Although I wasn’t necessarily afraid of the dogs, I didn’t like the idea of them sinking their sharp fangs into my 

 

butt just because Ross didn’t feel like waiting anymore.

 

He dismounted in silence, helped me down, and nodded toward a cluster of ash trees.

 

“Go already! I’m really not too keen to still be here in the woods when darkness falls. Ye ken?”

 

I hurriedly fought my way through the underbrush and ducked behind the thick foliage. The leaves were already fading in 

 

the vanishing daylight, and I rushed to finish my business. Carefully I peeked through the branches and saw that Ross 

 

was still standing with his horse. He pulled up its hind leg and frowned with concern.

 

As quickly as I could, I tugged my dress into place and returned to Ross. Running my hands through my hair, I plucked 

 

out a few loose leaves that my little trip into the underbrush had yielded. They were yellow. Which month might this be 

 

if it got dark in the middle of the day and the leaves had already changed color? And what year was this, anyway?

 

I racked my brain for any hints. Payton looked different, yes, but not really younger. If the curse had already been 

 

spoken, then he would have felt pain when near me—just like he did in the present day. But his earlier indifference 

 

helped me exclude that possibility. This meant that the Cameron massacre had not yet happened.

 

“We can’t continue on horseback. The horse stepped in something, and I don’t want to risk laming it,” Ross 

 

explained, jolting me from my thoughts.

 

“What? What do we do now?”

 

Ross laughed. “What do we do now?” he mimicked. “Now we walk.”

 

And with that, he bowed before me and let me pass by the horse before he took his place beside me. The dogs came running 

 

and kept pushing their noses up against his palm until he finally opened his sporran. Every dog got a little something; 

 

they all ate their treat right out of his hand. Ross gently scratched their giant heads as he apologetically shook the 

 

fur pouch.

 

“Get lost, there’s nothing left!”

 

I had to giggle as I saw him struggle against the dogs that were constantly in his way, running between his legs and 

 

begging for more treats.

 

“Away with ye!” He shooed them while wiping his slobber-covered hand on his tartan plaid.

 

“Pig’s ears?” I asked.

 

Ross nodded. “Aye, they love them.”

 

I giggled as I tried to imagine where someone might go to get a dozen or so pig’s ears. And I had to laugh even harder 

 

when I pictured Ross leaving his house in the morning and grabbing dried pig’s ears for his provisions.

 

“What’s so funny?” he demanded before finding it hard to stop himself from laughing, too.

 

“Nothing. But I’m so hungry that I wouldn’t mind eating a pig’s ear myself.” I chuckled.

 

Ross gave a wide grin, then stepped over to a saddlebag to grab a chunk of bread for each of us.

 

“I’m afraid I’m all out of pig’s ears, but I hope this will do.”

 

I nodded gratefully, tearing off a small piece and putting it in my mouth. It was hard and dry, but my stomach grumbled 

 

happily.

 

We walked side by side at a pleasant pace, making good progress. And for the first time since leaving the cemetery by 

 

Kintail, I felt like I could breathe.

 

I looked at this skinny, redheaded guy next to me and knew that I had nothing to fear from him. He was a nice person, 

 

even though it wasn’t up to him to decide what was to happen to me. But right now I didn’t want to worry about that. 

 

As soon as I caught sight of Payton again, I would have to find a way to talk to him about everything that had happened 

 

to me. I had to make him believe me. Plus—since time was running out for the Payton waiting for me in the present, I 

 

had to somehow get him to help me get Vanora’s blood. I didn’t know how, but I had to find a way.

 

I chewed on my last morsel of bread and decided that it was the best plan anyone in my situation could possibly come up 

 

with. And even though my feet hurt, my butt was sore from the long ride, and the skin around my wrists was chafed—I 

 

actually felt pretty good.

 

 

 

A good while later—it was dark already—we reached shepherd McRae’s small cottage. In a pen next to it, I could make 

 

out the rest of the horses. They stood together, nibbling on the tall grass. Ross made straight for the fence.

 

Our arrival had not gone unnoticed. The cottage door opened, and Sean stepped outside in a narrow glimmer of light.

 

“What took you so long?” He sounded annoyed.

 

“We had problems with the horse. But we got here.”

 

Ross turned away and loosened the saddle before starting to rub down his horse with straw. He didn’t say another word.

 

I stood between the two of them, unsure of what to do. It was pretty obvious that Ross no longer considered me one of 

 

his responsibilities, yet Sean didn’t seem to know what to do about me, either. My eyes wandered between them while I 

 

waited for further instructions. Sean raised his head as if he’d had an idea; then he told me to stay where I was as he 

 

disappeared inside the little cottage.

 

When the door opened again, Payton stepped out. Obviously exhausted, he ran his hands over his face and came toward me. 

 

His gait was sluggish, and it seemed as though he barely had enough strength to lift his feet off the ground. I watched 

 

him expectantly, hoping this time to detect a glimmer of recognition in his eyes. With one swift move of his knife, he 

 

cut the rope off my wrists.

 

“Follow me,” he said, continuing on without even checking that I was really following him. I looked back toward Ross, 

 

but he was busy. I couldn’t hear any sound coming from the cottage, either.

 

I tried my best to hurry on after Payton, gathering my skirts and running after him into the darkness. I slowed down 

 

once I caught up and was only a few steps behind him. I didn’t know what to expect. If he thought of me as a prisoner, 

 

how then could I talk to him? After my experience with the twin brothers, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to pass 

 

for normal.

 

A thorny blackberry vine caught on my leg and tore open my shin.

 

“Ouch! Goddammit!” I cussed, continuing to run while lifting my hemline to inspect the bloody scratch. But Payton had 

 

stopped, and I accidentally stepped on his heels. I probably would have landed in the bushes behind me if he hadn’t 

 

grabbed me. Suddenly, I found myself dangerously close to his chest. I tilted my head back so I could look him in the 

 

eyes. His lips were so close, and I could feel the blood rushing into my cheeks. A barely perceptible smile twitched 

 

around his mouth.

 

“Be careful, lassie,” he cautioned. “There are men out there who wouldn’t pass up a situation like this.”

 

And just so I understood what he meant by that, he held on to me just a moment longer. Oh, gosh, how embarrassing! 

 

Surely he didn’t think that I wanted to come on to him! Truth be told, of course, I wanted nothing more than for him to 

 

take me in his arms and kiss me. But he seemed immune to such yearnings of the flesh. He gently pushed me away and 

 

motioned toward a body of water visible between the tree line in front of us.

 

“You may go and wash yourself. I’ll wait here by this rock and keep watch.”

 

The most beautiful sight opened up in front of me. The lake lay still like a polished mirror. It almost looked like a 

 

crater framed by the dark, looming mountains. A silvery streak of moonlight danced on its sparkling surface, and it 

 

looked as though every single star had come down from the sky just to bathe in it.

 

Still, I gave Payton a quizzical look.

 

“Wash myself? You led me here so I could wash myself?”

 

He gave a deep, throaty laugh. “You stink! All right, to be honest we both stink. But because I want to protect your 

 

modesty, I will abstain from jumping into the lake with you. Instead, I will wait until you are done. I brought you here 

 

because I wanted a bath, and I thought you might appreciate one, too.”

 

I was glad that the dark of the night concealed my shivering body from him, and I folded my arms across my chest. I was 

 

embarrassed about my BO, and I really wished Payton hadn’t noticed. I wanted nothing more than to get rid of this awful 

 

dress and take a nice, hot bath; to massage silky shampoo into my hair; and then to put on my favorite yoga pants. But 

 

the night was cold, the water was probably freezing, and my favorite shampoo was nowhere in sight. Which was why I 

 

hesitated.

 

Payton sat down and leaned against the rock, pulling his knees up to his chest. “Take your time. I’m in no rush to 

 

return to the cottage.”

 

I stared down at his broad shoulders. “Why not?”

 

“Because I can’t bear to see my father like that. He’s sleeping now, but I worry that he might not make it through 

 

the night.”

 

He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his head in his hands.

 

“Wouldn’t you rather be with him in case he really…?” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence, because 

 

Payton seemed gloomy enough as it was.

 

“No. I’ve been feeling so terribly helpless all day. The cottage is tiny, and it’s my brother Blair’s place to take 

 

Father’s side. He’s the oldest, and he will be our new laird should it come to the worst.”

 

“I wish I could help you,” I whispered.

 

“Oh, you will. As soon as the sun rises, we’ll have to remove the arrow from his chest and dress the wound properly. 

 

You will help us. You womenfolk seem to be better at that sort of thing,” he explained. “But first I would really 

 

prefer—only for Father’s sake, of course—that you wash yourself.”

 

There it was again. Maybe the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he did give me an amused wink. Strangely, I didn’

 

t find it at all odd that someone would want to remove an arrow from someone’s chest without any medical training 

 

whatsoever. Not even when that someone was supposed to be me. What if he died during my botched attempt? Wouldn’t the 

 

new laird have me beheaded right then and there?

 

“How about it, lassie, don’t you want to go bathe?” Payton followed up in an almost-tender tone.

 

“Sam. My name is Sam…not Lassie.”

 

I swallowed hard, wiping a tear from my eye. I wanted to shake him and yell, “Don’t you recognize me, Payton? Doesn’t 

 

your heart recognize me?”

 

But of course I didn’t.

 

“Lassie means ‘girl.’ I called you that because I didn’t know your name. I’m Payton. Payton McLean. So, Sam, what 

 

are you waiting for? Are you afraid of me? I swear on my honor that I am not going to hurt you. I will not even look.”

 

I shook my head. No, he wouldn’t hurt me, because whoever this Payton was, I could trust him.

 

So I turned around and walked down to the lakeshore. It was only a few yards, and I could feel his eyes following me. I 

 

glanced back at him over my shoulder, hesitating, and when our eyes met, he turned around so that I could undress in 

 

private.

 

I slid under a bush and loosened the belt with the dagger in it. I then tried to cover it up with some pebbles. I wanted 

 

to place the housedress on top of it, hoping that Payton wouldn’t notice. Until I could convince him of my story, I 

 

really wanted to hold on to that knife. My hands shook as I pulled the horrible fabric over my head. I wondered what he

 

’d think if he ever saw my Black Eyed Peas tank top, underwire bra, and black panties with the lace trim. A man of this 

 

era would never expect to see undergarments like mine on a peasant woman.

 

When I’d donned the dress for the first time, it didn’t even occur to me that I would be forced to live among 

 

Highlanders for a while. Going forward, I needed to be more careful. The world wasn’t ready for hip-hop, and I was 

 

deeply sorry when I took off my top, scrunched up the Peas, and fled with it into the water.

 

I held my breath, and my heart skipped a beat as the ice-cold water sloshed around my hips. I must have made a startled 

 

sound, because Payton turned around. I cursed, quickly submerging myself up to my chin so that he couldn’t see my 

 

anachronistic underwear.

 

The freezing water stung me like a thousand needles, and my breathing turned into irregular gasps as my lungs tried to 

 

work against my cramping muscles.

 

“Everything all right?” he asked through the darkness.

 

“Go away!” I managed with chattering teeth.

 

“What? Are you well? You’re not drowning, are you?”

 

Because he was already knee-deep in the lake, I raised my hands and screeched: “No! Go away! Everything’s perfect!”

 

In the moonlight I could see his doubts very clearly, but he obeyed, took a couple steps back, and sat down on the 

 

lakeshore.

 

“I’ll stay here, just in case. But don’t worry, I’ve got my eyes closed,” he called out.

 

I wasn’t as cold anymore, probably because I was treading water and flailing my arms. Or perhaps the oxygen supply to 

 

my brain was affected and made me immune. Either way, I couldn’t stay in the water a second longer without contracting 

 

pneumonia, so I took a deep breath and submerged myself fully. I had felt a big rock under my feet, and I now tried to 

 

lift it by one of the corners.

 

Jesus, it was so cold! My eyes seemed to turn into ice cubes, and my scalp burned from the freezing water. With stiff 

 

fingers I finally managed to push the tank top under the rock before letting go so that it snapped into place. I came up 

 

for air, gasping for breath. With my last ounce of strength, I dragged myself back to the shore, waded through the water 

 

on shivering legs, and squatted behind my bush. That was when I heard Payton giggle.

 

“What’s so funny?” I asked, irritated. I peered at him through the branches while pulling my awful dress back on.

 

I saw him keel over and hold his stomach with laughter.

 

“Sam, you look…light as a kitten, all small and delicate. But when I close my eyes, you sound like a big old wheezing 

 

cow trying to climb out of a boggy swamp.”

 

I could barely make out the last few words through his chuckles. But I could certainly guess what he was trying to say. 

 

Furiously, I grabbed a handful of pebbles and hurled them in his direction. And when I heard him yelp and jump to his 

 

feet, I couldn’t help but chortle myself. The crunch of his steps drew closer, stopping when he reached my shrub.

 

“If you don’t mind, I will go and quickly wash myself before we walk back.”

 

He didn’t wait for my approval but instead stepped up to the water and loosened first the brooch on his shoulder and 

 

then the belt around his hips. The length of material that covered him sank to the ground. His pearly white butt beamed 

 

at me in the moonlight, and I swallowed hard as he also ditched his shirt.

 

There he was, in all his glory and without any false sense of modesty, walking into the water as if completely immune to 

 

the cold. Elegantly, he dove in.

 

Fortunately it was dark, because even though I had wanted to use this moment to hide the dagger in my dress, I just sat 

 

there admiring this man. The moonlight turned the water drops on his skin into tiny diamonds, and I discovered muscles 

 

on this body that I knew he didn’t have in the present day.

 

His body looked stronger, more athletic. Presumably it had been hardened by these living conditions. I finally managed 

 

to turn my attention back to my task, and I tried to focus on the belt on my upper thigh. Repeatedly, I glanced over the 

 

lake surface to watch Payton, whose magnificence I just couldn’t let go of.

 

I heard him wading back to shore while I was still working on my dagger. I had just pulled down my skirt when he 

 

suddenly appeared in front of me again. The plaid was draped around his hips in perfect pleats, but his shirt was still 

 

unbuttoned. I really was tempted to reach out and wipe the remaining water droplets off his chest.

 

He looked me up and down, and a wide grin spread over his face.

 

“Well, well, who’d have thought that a little water could make such a difference.”

 

And with that, he turned and walked away. I scowled and stared after him as he disappeared into the woods on the same 

 

narrow path we had come from.