chapter 9
What in the hell did he do to you?” the queen snapped at the beating pulse of shadow standing before her.
The Morrigan had been in her chambers when she’d heard the keening cry of the hunter in her head. Death’s kiss had been forced down her throat. The shadow had relayed it all to the queen through visions.
Damn that insufferable Frenzy. She’d not thought to warn the darkness that the reaper was known to beguile even the most heartless of hearts. She’d assumed shadow had no heart to speak of. But Frenzy had proven his namesake true yet again.
The shadow’s form pulsed like a throbbing heart. Death’s kiss had knocked her silly and it was all she could do at the moment to retain any sort of form.
“He kissed me.”
“Why did you let him?” She stalked to the creature shaking before her throne.
But she wasn’t shaking in fear; the shadow shook in fury. She snarled when she looked up at the queen. “Because I want HER! And I would do anything to possess her.”
The Morrigan narrowed her eyes. “The girl is mine. You are to track her only, drochturach. She is the last of her kind. Disobey me and it will be to your own peril.”
With a shriek to rival a banshee, the shadow wrapped herself around the queen, her embrace like a python’s grip. “I am not so weak that I cannot suck the soul out of you.”
The Morrigan would rather die than admit how much the creature’s grip hurt, or that it made her insides feel like they might liquefy from the pressure. Lifting her chin high, she growled, “I created you, creature. Release me. Now!”
The shadow laughed, slowly unwinding its body from around the queen. “I would never harm you. Mother.”
Taking a breath that hurt, the queen fought the tremor that threatened to give away her true anxiety. The shadow was stronger now than it’d ever been.
When she’d first created it, it was weak. Looking to her to be fed and cared for, and in return it had obeyed any and all commands. But she’d fed, gained too much power over the centuries. The Morrigan could not have seen how each time the shadow inhaled yet another seer’s soul that she would strengthen, morph into a being even more powerful than the queen herself.
And this was when the creature was at less than full speed. Frenzy’s kiss had weakened her. Casting Dagda a look from the corner of her eye, she knew her consort would not come to her defense.
Part of retaining the power and respect within fae was being able to control her own destiny. To control those around her. He would not come to her defense, nor she to his. That was not the way of things in faerie.
She’d already suffered a humiliating defeat when Lise had taken Cian from her care. She could not afford to appear any weaker than she already did.
“Follow them,” she hissed out as an order to the shadow, pointing a finger at the black blob’s chest. “Do not kill her, or I swear, I will end you.”
The shadow chuckled a low, menacing sound. “I’ve scared death off; he will find her and they will run. How am I to track them now?”
Tracking death wasn’t easy. Part of their abilities was that they couldn’t be found unless they were harvesting. When their hands turned to bone, then and only then could The Morrigan get a lock on their location.
Frenzy was ten times smarter than any of her reapers. During his dark days (the period after his mortal’s death) he’d secluded himself in outlying areas, terrorizing villages and mortals, always one step ahead of those who could catch him. The queen had finally found him when she’d discovered that she could trace him when he harvested a soul.
Knowing his pattern, he’d likely squire the woman off to some remote locale and, if the past repeated itself, there’d come a point where being constantly in her company would make the baser side of him come out. The side that would protect her no matter the cost.
The side that would kill to keep her safe. And when he did, she’d find him again, and by finding him, she’d finally find her seer.
She smiled. “You leave the tracking to me. I’ll send for you in a few days. When I do, you will find her, and you will bring her to me.”
The shadow didn’t utter another word, simply turned and vanished within a plume of smoke.
It did not escape the queen that she had not agreed. The shadow could wind up being a problem. The Morrigan hadn’t lied when she’d said she’d kill the shadow. The creature might think itself invincible, but no one truly was.
“Dagda.” She turned to her consort. “Fetch me my black box.”
Standing, the earth god bowed and walked toward their study.
The Morrigan smiled. It may not seem it, but everything was falling into place.
* * *
Mila turned at the sound of a twig snapping and then sucked in a sharp breath when she took in Frenzy’s cold face and angry eyes. And though there was fury and fire burning through him, her body responded to his heat, to his nearness. Her nerves snapped and sizzled. He was gorgeous, dangerous, and she wanted him. Desperately.
Shielding her breasts from view with the curve of her arm, she stepped backward into deeper water. She’d been invigorated to learn that her new unhuman skin didn’t get cold the way her human skin would have. He’d been gone awhile, but she hadn’t felt any fear thanks to the death kiss he’d let roll throughout her clearing. At one point she’d seen a deer, nose up in the air as it drew closer to the invisible barrier, and almost as if it’d sensed the wrongness of the place, it’d jumped as though startled and turned in the opposite direction.
Most animals seemed to know to stay away. One bird had flown too low, though, and, almost as if slamming up against a glass shield, it’d gone rigid and dropped with a thunk to the ground. It had hurt her to see the bird die in that way, but also given her a sense of peace. Even irritated at her as he was, Frenzy had protected her.
She’d tried to catch her bearings, get a rough estimate of where she was, but he’d dropped her off in the middle of nowhere. It was just one endless stretch of trees and rolling hills. Kind of peaceful, in an off-the-grid sort of way. In fact, she’d been floating on the lake’s surface staring up at the sun without needing to blink or flinch, thinking that this was a type of eternity she could probably deal with. Smiling softly to herself, she lay there unmoving, until finally she got the sense that someone was definitely watching her. Prickles rushed over skin and made her stand up quickly.
“There will be no food cooked here, O’Fallen.” His tone was brusque, his words gravelly, his stare intense. “We will do as you asked and move to another location.”
She nodded, wondering what, if anything, he planned to do. He was looking at her like he…needed something. Her sluggish heart thumped.
“Can I bathe?”
Her throat was so dry she could hardly speak. He was asking for permission to come in here with her, she knew it, felt it. There was an energy to him, something intense and primal and it called to every one of her new, baser instincts.
Deciding not to overthink it because she was actually glad to see him, she nodded, and could not have looked away even if told to when he began to undress. Except instead of being bashful as she had last night, she locked her gaze on his. There wasn’t an ounce of shame on his countenance when he stripped.
Frenzy stood on the bank, his shirt off, pants gone as well. He was completely nude. But instead of it making her shy and anxious, she found she was quite the opposite.
There was a monster inside of her. Ever since turning she’d felt the slumbering beast unfurling sensuous claws deep inside, making her crave. Not only blood and meat, but sex. It was a lust-fueled haze that was slowly getting stronger, demanding its needs be met.
Fire and heat inched through her belly, making her hum whenever he was around. Making her aware of his scent of spicy male, a mix between spring rains and his own unique earthiness. The way he moved, like a graceful, sloping predator. How the softness of his shoulder-length hair could not distract from the rugged beauty of his face. How his abdominal muscles rippled like thick ropes with each step he took into the water.
His angry gaze never strayed from her own.
“What…happened?” she mumbled, shivering now, but not from cold, rather from a want so powerful it bordered on desperation.
Her legs trembled, her skin prickled with a wash of intense need, and it was all she could do to swallow and not jump on him, become a wild, ravenous beast.
Licking her lips, she stood her ground, curling her fingers into fists as she repeated slowly to herself that what she felt wasn’t real. It was hormones. The mad passion of a vampire. They’d earned their reputation as lotharios honestly; there was none within the realm of others quite as depraved or desperate for sex as the vampires.
“We cannot go back,” he finally said, stopping inches from her.
The world was electric, alive. Vibrant. She felt it move against her, felt the heat flowing between them. Biting down on her lip to prevent from moaning, she nodded. “The apartment? Why?”
“Because I met her.”
She blinked. “Met who? Who’s ‘her’?”
His eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, and this time when he moved in to her, she didn’t just feel the simmering crackle of pent-up energy; his thigh rubbed against her own and she sucked in sharp breath. Her entire being focused on the point of contact. Because being a vamp meant she was at the peak of perfection.
His thumb touched the tip of her jaw. “The shadow. It is a female.”
Ears buzzing, blinking rapidly because her heart was suddenly fluttering in her throat, she started to back up, mud squishing between her toes from the slippery lake bed. “It…She found you? Us?” Glancing left and then right, she shook her head. “We have to go, I can’t stay here. I can’t. I have to—”
His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his tight body. His gaze still menacing, threatening. “You know, don’t you? How she tracks you?”
She shook her head, frazzled, finding it difficult to think clearly. “What are you talking about? I don’t know how the bloody thing finds me.”
His jaw working from side to side, hard fingers digging into the curve between her spine and the top of her rear, she couldn’t pull her eyes away from his penetrating, soul-deep gaze. The silver swirled, reminding her of a mad spinning toy top. Her nostrils flared, fighting the instinct inside her telling her not to move.
Because she needed to get away from him. Away from the things he made her feel—not just lust, but protected. Safe. As crazy as that was, they were on the run, but when he was near, it was like nothing could hurt her. Being with Frenzy was madness, his world, her world now…It was scary and frightening, but she was okay as long as he was with her.
“So you don’t know that there isn’t a single ward that can keep that vile, black, soulless creature out? It can find you anywhere you go. Anywhere we run. It lives in the shadow it was born from; we cannot escape its hunt.”
Shivering, feeling the cold in a way she hadn’t before, she shoved him away. How could she ever have a hope of escaping it? If it lived in shadow, then it would always find her; whenever the sun set she’d be in danger. “That’s how it finds me?” She squeezed her eyes shut. It made so much sense.
Why her mom and gran never stayed in one place long. Why they’d separated her from her father, from all those not part of the line. They’d never told her why, and maybe they weren’t sure themselves, but they always said to never stay longer than two, three years in any one place. To not mingle much, to keep to yourself, trust only family. A few months back she’d reached out to her da, only to discover he’d died of a stroke ten years before. She was truly alone in this world, a thought that left her ready to weep if she dwelled on it for too long.
Living like this, it’d been a way of life for her. She’d seen so many different parts of the world and had grown used to the lifestyle. To the wanderlust she’d always thought her mother and gran possessed.
“You didn’t know?” he asked softly, almost tenderly now, and she heard the bafflement in his voice, as if he was shocked to discover that she’d had no clue how the shadow had tracked her. She heard the pity behind his words too, and it made a fury blanket her mind.
She shoved him. Hard. Causing him to stumble backward and make her smile, if only briefly. “Why would you think I’d know that? And how the hell did you get that thing to talk?” Her words dripped poison, growing thick with the accent she tried so hard to keep penned up.
A cocky grin fixed firmly on his face, he said, “I seduced her. Of course.”
Words could not do justice to the sudden hate and disgust she felt. Because it wasn’t remotely similar to anything she could ever remember feeling as a human. This was a level of soul-sucking, mind-numbing fire that twisted her insides up, made her fingers itch to flex and claw and her throat burn to scream.
Not able to understand what was going on with the crazy surge of emotions, the up and down and hot lust mixed in with cold fury, she sank under the water. It was the only rational thing she could think to do. If she walked out of the lake, she’d run and he’d catch her; if she attacked his oh so disgustingly gorgeous face, he’d restrain her. She couldn’t win either way.
Sucking in water through her nose and mouth, she was astonished to find it didn’t hurt her. She didn’t know why she’d done it—maybe to test the limitations of her new body. It didn’t make her brain want to spasm with the need for breath. She couldn’t drown, so she opened her mouth and screamed.
He’d touched it. Seduced it. And she hated him for it, hated that it bothered her, hated that it made her feel so damned jealous.
Her life was over. She couldn’t die. Couldn’t undo the wrong done to her. It all hurt so much and the worst of it was she had to entrust her life to a being she didn’t understand at all. Frenzy didn’t care for her, and it was ridiculous that that thought hurt.
Hard hands gripped her upper arms, dragging her up. It was all too much. She slapped him.
“Woman,” he growled, not releasing her arm. “You’ve grown too accustomed to hitting me. No more. Do you understand?”
“Did you sleep with it?” She lashed out. And it so wasn’t what she’d meant to say. It really wasn’t. She wanted to rant and rail and tell him to piss off. Tell him anything, anything but asking, Did you sleep with it?
He jerked, seeming astonished by her question. The firmness of his grasp didn’t let up an inch. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You seduced it. What else did that devil tell you, eh? What else does it know about me?”
Mila had grown up almost on her own. She’d lost her gran and her mom to the demon when she’d been fifteen. They’d never had a chance to tell her everything, to teach her how to survive. But she’d learned, she’d figured it out. Even thought she’d been somewhat successful at it. And she’d grown careless and cocky because of it. Sixteen years on her own, she’d thought working with HPA would be possible. Feasible. That for once in her life she could use her gifts to make a difference. Not to hide it from the world, but to make her life matter. She’d been stupid taking such a high-visibility job, but she’d only been a freelancer, working on the side when they needed help with a cold case or serial killers. If she hadn’t helped that girl, if she hadn’t stepped in, made a scene at a bar, maybe things would be different now. She’d still be living in the basement of that wonderful Ms. Henley, who’d baked her chocolate chip cookies every weekend and been one of the few people she knew who still made her lemonade the old-fashioned way.
She’d lost so much. Everything. And maybe it was stupid to have done it, but somehow, without her even realizing it, she’d begun to trust this man. The man whose eyes had been pumped full of terror when he’d found she’d stabbed herself in George’s cave, the man who’d brought down that hideous deer just to make her eat something. It’d meant something, or at least she’d hoped so. Stupid her. Trusting was what always got her people killed. It was why they always scurried and hid like rats.
Mila had dared to live, and it had cost her everything.
Where there’d been coldness before, now his eyes seemed perplexed and at a complete loss.
“I did not have sex with the shadow,” he finally answered, so low she had to strain to hear him.
She sniffed. “It doesn’t matter.”
He dropped his hands, his look growing earnest. “What is this about, O’Fallen?”
Squeezing her eyes shut, she bit the corner of her lip.
“O’Fallen?”
“Will you stop calling me that!” And that was all she could say, because her eyes were starting to tear up; there was heat building behind them, and if she didn’t leave, he’d see it. He’d be witness to her misery, her fears, and she couldn’t have that because it showed weakness. Gave him something else to exploit.
“Mila!” he barked at her back, but she was halfway to the bank and she wasn’t stopping.
Jumping out of the water, landing gracefully onto a patch of grass, she ran. He might be faster than her, but she was plenty fast in her own right. Wind rushed through her ears as her legs chewed up the ground.
She’d barely contained her tears in front of him, but they were falling freely now. Trees passed in a blur. She knew it was only a matter of time till he caught her. This was never about running away, it was just about getting some time to herself.
Mila didn’t hear the snapping of twigs, or the rustling of leaves behind her. He wasn’t following.
Exhaustion claimed her. A settling in the bones type of weariness that made her finally stumble to her knees and drop to the soft grass beneath, crying. She released it. Everything. She had to, so she could move on.
One thing her gran had always told her: don’t try to outrun the pain or the past, let it come, let the tears flow, and then let it go.
This was her way of finally letting it go. The impossible wish that somehow she could roll back time long enough for her not to die, not to be caught by those vampires, that none of this had ever happened, the pain of being a monster she never wanted to be, of being stuck with a man she didn’t know, didn’t really like. Of all the crazy emotions that made her feel things her brain didn’t want. Pain, passion, lust, need, hate. That wasn’t her. Before this, she’d been a good person. Quiet and shy, but good.
Now she barely recognized herself. Who was she? A vampire? A shifter? What?
“Woman.” His voice was so low, so heartfelt, that the tears came harder.
Tucking her face into her knees, she shook her head, grateful for her long hair shielding her face. “Go away, Frenzy. I don’t want to fight anymore.”
“I did not have sex with that thing. You have to know that.”
Wiping a tear with the back of her hand, she sniffed and noticed he’d taken the time to redress. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care.”
“Then what is this?” She felt his movement, felt his hot gaze boring into her skull. Knew that if she didn’t look up he’d just continue to stay where he was.
Gritting her teeth, she peeked at him. “This is me having my first freak-out since this all went down. Do you think for a second any of what happened has been easy on me, Frenzy? Knowing you don’t want the hassle of ‘saving me’”—she finger quoted—“that one second I feel the very life slip out of my body, and the next I’m waking up and nothing makes sense anymore. The world I thought I knew, the one I’d lived in for thirty-two years, no longer makes sense.”
His lips twitched, as if he were grappling with some sort of emotion, before finally huffing loudly and tucking a stray curl of hair behind her ear. “I’m as lost as you, woman. This isn’t easy for me either. I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Keep you safe.” His voice was whisper soft, the world felt suddenly pregnant with expectation. “All we do is quarrel, and it makes me…”
Rubbing her nose, she looked at him completely. “What?”
Running fingers through his hair, he shrugged. “I’ve been alone for years. I’ve not been around mortals for centuries.”
“But I thought you were a grim reaper? Your job is to carry souls of mortals to the afterlife, right?” She cocked her head.
Folding his arms across his knees, he nodded. “It is.” He sighed. “You want to know a truth, O’Fallen?”
It was on the tip of her tongue to remind him yet again that her name was Mila, not O’Fallen, but it really didn’t matter. They were finally talking and she realized she needed to hear these things, because if she was going to trust herself to this man, she needed to know why.
Just then an image came to her. Odd, because since her death she hadn’t had a vision. A part of her wondered if perhaps she’d lost her abilities since her monstrous ones had manifested themselves.
It was Frenzy. But he wasn’t dressed as he was now. In fact, he was dressed as if from a completely different era.
Wearing a navy coat that came to his waist with long tails that dangled to the backs of his cream-trousered knees. There were gold chains dangling from his pockets and in his hand he held an elegant-looking top hat. His shock of red hair was caught back with a black silk hair bow.
She had no idea which decade he was in, but it looked old. Very historic.
One thing she immediately noted about him. There was no hardness in his eyes. He was smiling, laughing even. Bent over a mantel, reading by firelight to a woman dressed in a provocative red gown with white lace decorating the tops of her modest breasts.
Her face was plain. Her mouth was a little too thin, her nose a little too sharp, and she was covered in freckles. The most arresting feature on her was her eyes.
Eyes eerily similar to Mila’s own.
Almond-shaped, with long fanning black lashes. Molten-amber colored. The way they stared at Frenzy, as if he was her world. Eyes were the window to the soul. You could read the truth of a person in their gaze. Whether they laughed often, or cried much. Whether they’d seen the worst of life, or were accustomed to the frivolity of wealth and good fortune.
The woman’s eyes sparkled, danced as they snaked down Frenzy’s fine masculine form. There was hunger, laughter, desire so sharp Mila inhaled a breath at the honesty of it.
Frenzy stared at her with the same level of need. While his beauty definitely outranked hers, he didn’t see her that way. To him, they were equals.
But then the scene shifted and she was no longer viewing the world through Frenzy’s eyes, she was in the woman’s.
It wasn’t often Mila could witness the thoughts of a ghost; generally she needed to be within the vicinity of the person to see their life. But it wasn’t usual for her to witness the past either. Only on rare occasions.
But Frenzy was an immortal whose past was intricately entwined with his future.
The woman’s name had been Adrianna. She was naked in a room with only a four-poster bed and white fluttering curtains. Moonlight sliced across her body. A dark shadow stood to the side.
Her porcelain skin gleamed as she writhed and moaned on the mattress, the masses of her dark hair the only coverings she wore draped across her breasts. She was waiting for her lover, playing with herself, getting ready for him. She’d convince him to marry her this time; she loved him. Soon her belly would be full of his child. He’d have no other option. He’d save her from being forced to marry the ancient Lord Abernathy.
Finally she spotted the shadow and jumped, springing to a sitting position, wrapping the sheet firmly around her body. “You scared me, lover.” Then relaxing, she spread her arms, dropping the sheet and running a hand down the vee of her breasts.
But when the man stepped into moonlight and she got a good look at his face, she knew it was not Frenzy. The features were blurred and hard to make out, but the hair was blond, not the fiery red of her fallen angel.
Then he was upon her and there was blood. So much blood…
Jerking, Mila’s eyes opened wide and she stared at Frenzy with her heart trapped in her throat. He was talking, saying things she could hardly understand. Hand trembling, she planted her palm against her breast, feeling the echoing beat of fear and Adrianna’s adrenaline still pumping through her.
“…Do you understand now?”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, mouth tasting dry and parched, she shook her head. She’d not caught any of what he’d said. His hands were on her shoulders and he was looking at her strangely, eyes roaming all across her face.
“What’s happened?”
Her eyes jerked to his. “What do you mean?”
“I was talking to you, but it was as if you weren’t there. You were staring through me and now your pulse is beating out of control. Did you see something?”
Uncanny how he’d jump to that conclusion. He barely knew her. How much could she trust him?
“Tell me,” he softly urged.
There were few times in her life when she’d shared a vision, and even when she did, she didn’t give a complete accounting, only what needed to be known. This wasn’t even a future she’d seen, but a past.
A past involving a woman with her eyes. A woman he’d obviously adored, a woman who’d maybe loved him back, but loved more what he could do for her. She bit the inside of her cheek.
Shrugging out of his grip, she took a step back, tucking a curl of hair behind her ear. Something about the two visions she’d seen made her think this woman had meant a lot to Frenzy. In all likelihood, she could be the very reason why he was now so hostile to mortals.
His lover had been brutally executed. Garroted. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“You can tell me.” He said it again, so softly. So gently.
And it made her angry.
Furious.
Mila had always prided herself on containing her emotions, letting few see how she really felt. Because revealing too much made a person vulnerable. All her life she’d been running, forced to keep one step ahead. She’d screwed up so bad. Ruined it all because she’d allowed a moment of weakness in. But since dying, she’d lost her ability to remain neutral, to keep a lid on it. What she felt, she did, and she couldn’t stop herself.
“Leave me alone,” she hissed. “Just leave me alone.” She didn’t need his sympathy or understanding. Why was he trying to change the way they played this game now? She knew where she stood with him.
Whether he copped to it or not, he was her captor. Point. Blank. Period. He wouldn’t help her die. All her life all she’d done was run and hide. And now death would be more of the same.
He looked as if she’d smacked him. Nose curling, upper lip pulling back, it was obvious she’d pissed him off.
Well, good.
So was she.
“I’m tired of all this shit!” she screamed. “Tired of running, tired of this life. Why keep me like this? You coming to me, trying to gain my sympathy; stop it!”
She tried to turn away from him. To run off again, it was fruitless and pointless, but it was all she knew.
“I’m not trying to gain anything!” he snapped. “You think I wanted this? I didn’t. But we’re stuck together.”
“Why won’t you just leave me to die? You don’t have to stay here. You don’t have to keep me safe. Just let me go, Frenzy. Let me go.” Her eyes burned, but she’d be damned if she cried again.
She was done being weak, done feeling sorry for herself. Holding her head high, she challenged him, never blinking or swerving from his cold, hard gaze.
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”
There was no point in answering; he obviously wasn’t wanting one anyway.
“Grow up, O’Fallen. This is the real world.” He gestured around the empty field. “This is it. It doesn’t get better. There is no white knight to rescue you. Death doesn’t come for us all.” His smile was pure malice, full of teeth and sarcasm. “Get one thing through your fool skull right now: you and me, we’re in this together. I didn’t get a choice in this matter either. You were the last person,” he emphasized, “in the world I would ever have wanted to tie myself to. But I’m mature enough to understand there is no getting out. We either fix this, or we make our eternity a living hell.”
His words shook her, brought the blasted tears out. Because he was freaking right. And she hated that he was. Hated that if she said otherwise it would just be her acting like an immature little baby. No matter how much she wanted to go back to what she once was, that night with the vampires had happened.
The vampires turned her.
A shifter had bitten her.
She craved food with an almost constant obsession.
A shadow wanted to suck out her soul.
And she was so sexually infatuated by a man she loathed, that it culminated in her slapping the hell out of him. His cheek flared red, and his eyes grew wide and filled with fury.
Grabbing her shoulders, he pulled her to him, hard. “Why’d you do that?”
“Because you make me…God!” she screamed, then grabbed the back of his skull and mashed her lips to his.
It wasn’t gentle or exploratory. The kiss was about domination. She poured all her hate and loss of dreams, everything she’d ever clung to. Every illusion that so long as she did what she was told things would turn out okay for her, it all went into him.
Lifting her up, forcing her to wrap her legs around his waist, he shoved just as much of his passion back into her. She felt it in the way his teeth knocked with hers, the way his hands gripped so tight, bordering on the edge of pain. Their tongues dueled and she was so aware of it all.
Aware of the way her nipples puckered as they grazed the cool silk of his shirt. The kiss was potent and hard, lips and teeth nipping and grazing, sucking on the flesh of her neck, her jaw. Then he was back on her mouth, rolling her bottom lip between his, tasting and sucking on it.
Heat centered between her thighs, made her ache and need and want so damn bad. Because nothing made sense anymore, this life didn’t make sense. Except this…the way he ground his erection into her, the way he growled in the back of his throat, how he consumed her…this was the only thing making sense.
Then he was slamming her against a tree, and her skin should have shredded the way he kept pressing her against the bark, but it didn’t hurt. There was a sharp burst of pleasure at the almost-pain.
“Make me forget, Frenzy,” she panted, clawing at his skull, running her fingers through his hair.
He tugged on her hair, causing her to inhale sharply at the burst of pain. “You’re a crazy wench,” he growled, and she nodded.
Because that’s exactly what she felt like. Lost, confused, and scared.
“Take me now,” she hissed, running her fingers frantically down the buttons of his shirt, popping them off one by one.
Pulling back just enough so that she could take the shirt off of him, Mila helped him tear it off. Then her hands were on his belt buckle.
“Nothing makes any kind of damn sense to me anymore. Make this go away, Frenzy. Make it go away,” she said, then, frustrated that the belt wouldn’t come off as easily as the buttons, she growled and snapped the buckle off.
He glanced down then back at her. His eyes were still angry, but they were also full of something else too.
Fire.
“O’Fallen,” he growled, and then yanked the broken belt off, moving her hands away when she tried to unzip his pants. “I’ve got it.”
Was it just her imagination or had his voice shook a little?
She bit her knuckle, panting heavily and completely unafraid that they were out in the wild, exposed to the sun and the wind. That anyone could see her if they wanted to. The sun was beating down all around them. The tree barely had enough branches to afford any kind of shade. There wasn’t even a single cloud in the sky.
Everyone and everything wanted her, and her life just didn’t make sense anymore. None of this did. She should be scared, but she wasn’t. She was angry and horny and there was only one cure right now.
The moment his pants slipped down she grabbed hold of his hard length. He was enormous, bigger than any man she’d ever had, and for a second she could hardly breathe trying to imagine shoving that inside of her.
“Can you take me, O’Fallen?” He grunted, and the sound of it was almost painful to hear, like he was barely leashed. She had a feeling that if she said no, he’d freak. She’d pushed him too far. She knew that.
It was the Irish in her, too feisty for her own good. Her mum had always said that. Nostrils flaring, she turned to him and, staring deep into his eyes, she massaged his cock. “I’m not scared.”
He licked his lips, and her stomach bottomed out because she now knew what those lips tasted like. How much fuller the bottom one was than the top one. How touching it was like taking a sip of fine brandy, drugging and intoxicating.
Framing her face with his hands, he forced her to keep his gaze. “Hold on to my neck,” he ordered.
And for once she didn’t fight him, because somehow this was bringing her back. All the fights and battle of wills they’d engaged in, it’d all been leading up to this moment. She’d known it, and deep down he must have known it too. They’d been a powder keg just waiting for a spark to set them off.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she didn’t have to wait long. Frenzy shoved into her, filling and stretching unused muscles.
She hissed and he trembled.
“You’re so damn tight,” he groaned, resting his forehead against hers as he waited for her to adjust to his girth.
Gritting her teeth, she used her feet to urge him deeper inside. He made a weird noise in the back of his throat, a mixture of a rasp and a moan. “You ready?”
The muscles in her thighs twitched as she rolled forward, getting him as deep as he could go in this position.
“Gods, woman,” he hissed, and then took over the rhythm of their thrusts, shoving deeper and harder into her with each one, bruising her back against the rough tree.
But it didn’t hurt, only heightened the pleasure. She was dead—this shouldn’t feel so good. Shouldn’t feel better than what she’d done when alive. It shouldn’t make her body burn so bad, feel so full; it shouldn’t make her want to weep and hiss because the pleasure was almost too much to bear.
With each thrust of his hips, darkness clouded her vision. A heart that she hardly felt beating anymore thumped painfully, chaotically in her chest.
She didn’t hear the whistle of wind rushing through limbs, didn’t see the flight of birds in the air, didn’t notice the call of crickets or grasshoppers, because everything she had, all that she was, was completely focused on him.
On them.
On this.
“Woman,” he growled again, and his thrusting became more intense. She knew he was reaching his peak.
Knew they were seconds away from falling over the cliff.
Frantic with the need for more, she scored her nails down his bare back. He hissed, bowing into her, pounding harder, going deeper.
And then they were there. A mere second away from the little death, and instinct kicked in, something primal and raw that demanded she take him, so she took him.
Mila grabbed a hold of the vein on the side of his neck and sank her teeth in. She didn’t have fangs, the bite wasn’t gentle, but he didn’t seem to care.
Blood filled her mouth, and gods, it was amazing. Its sweetness coated the inside of her mouth, rained down her throat. Filled her belly with heat and fire. Rushed through her veins, bringing with it energy and life.
She screamed as he roared with their mutual release.
It took almost a minute before either one of them could move. He stirred first. There was wonder in his eyes and she could not deny that she felt that same wonder in her heart.
“What the hell just happened?” he mumbled, nostrils flaring from his heavy breaths.
She licked her lips, not wanting to waste a drop of the earthy red elixir. It should have made her ill with the realization that she’d just drunk some of his blood. Instead it only made her want more.
Which made her frown. She hardly knew herself anymore. The old her would never have done that. Not just the blood drinking, but letting a strange man touch her, taste her, make her crazed with a lust she could barely begin to comprehend.
“Stop it,” he growled, stepping into her, framing her face with his hands, forcing her gaze up to his.
“Stop what?” she muttered, heart beating so much harder than it had in days. The blood inside of her body felt warm, alive and electrified. She was buzzing and snapping, her very pores tingling with life. Her skin felt flushed, her cheeks blazing. His blood had done something to her, made her feel alive and so aware.
“Stop overthinking this, stop wondering who you are. Stop comparing this life to the one you had before. Understand this, O’Fallen, what you had is gone. Forever. It won’t come back. It is the one universal truth in immortality. We don’t get second chances to right a wrong or redo a mistake. All we have is this second to see through the bullshit and decide.”
“What are you blatherin’ on about?” It was becoming harder to contain the lilt. For years she’d feared the lilt would give away who she really was. It was why she’d worked so hard to cultivate a neutral accent, and in two days everything she’d worked decades for, everything that’d made her her, was unraveling. All shot to hell.
His hands were so warm, and she hated to admit this, even in the privacy of her own head, that it was nice. That in the topsy-turvy thing she now called life, it felt like an anchor. His touch helped her to focus, breathe easier, to panic less. Why? She hardly knew him and yet her very soul resonated vibrantly when he was around.
The way his hands had curved along the contours of her body, how he’d moved in her, tasted her, sipped at her lips like she was a fine wine, it’d all felt so…familiar. Like all her life had been a slow but inexorable progression to him. The dreams she’d had, the face of the red-haired stranger—he’d called to her on a level she couldn’t understand.
“I’m going to keep you safe.” Those molten silver eyes hooked her, blazed with truth. “Nothing will take you from me.”
She wanted to believe that, so bad. Wanted to believe that after all the years of running and hiding alone, it was now in the past. That someone was finally around to help her shoulder this burden. Mila gripped his wrists.
“You want to know the truth?” she whispered, voice quivering because she didn’t want to tell him this. Lightning quick, a million thoughts pinged through her mind. She was so used to bottling it all up inside. Keeping it all to herself. But she’d just opened herself up to him in a way she hadn’t with anyone else before. Not that she’d been a virgin, but hookups had always been secret and brief. A way to relieve an itch. She’d never faced a partner while he’d entered, never let him see the truths in her eyes. Because truths were dangerous and bloody things that could kill as surely as stepping on a land mine.
Mila was tired of running, tired of being alone, tired of pretending that she didn’t need anyone. Pulse hammering, throat so dry it felt like swallowing sandpaper, she considered a never-ending life of either trying to figure out some way to commit immortal suicide, or running. Again. Alone and scared. Always just barely one step ahead of the shadow, one step ahead of a death that wasn’t really a death. It was an eternal prison of torment; once sucked into the creature her conscience mind would remain trapped, like a fly in amber. Unable to ever stop being consumed by the creature who only wanted the secrets of the future and past revealed. She’d lived her mortal life that way with the knowledge that life wasn’t long, that even if she lived to be seventy, it would one day end. But this—an eternity of running, always looking over her shoulder, always wondering where the enemy was, who it was—it was a dismal, deflating future. She was a freak even amongst monsters; there’d be no clan to offer protection, no one she could turn to.
Nothing.
She may not want to trust Frenzy—the instinct in her not to do so was overwhelmingly strong—but she didn’t have a choice. It was either him or nothing.
“Me first.” His thumb ran along the soft skin underneath her eye, slowly, back and forth. Hypnotic. She focused on that touch, casting out the fears that threatened to overwhelm, losing herself in sensation.
The way the sun kissed her pale flesh, the way the wind teased the locks of her hair, brushing against the swells of her breasts. How her body still tingled, still wanted him.
She nodded.
“I don’t like people. Human or otherwise,” he began, gritting his teeth as he said it, as if forcing the words out was hard for him.
She snorted. “Not much of a surprise. And not much of a secret.”
He grinned and it stole her breath. Because this wasn’t a lascivious smirk meant to throw her off-balance, or a hot and smoldering smile meant to make her lose her head. His touch was an unguarded moment of tenderness, something she wasn’t quite sure whether he’d done on purpose or not. But his eyes danced, they sparkled the way they had in her vision when he’d gazed upon his Adrianna. It made him seem more approachable, much less like a monster.
He laughed and, by the gods, it was like being sucker punched. That smile moved through her body like a fiery bolt, making her scalp and toes tingle. Who was this man? Not the same one who made her manic to either claw out his eyes or rip off his clothing.
“I’m not sure I even like you much.”
The way he said it, she could tell it was a joke. Not meant to insult. Honestly, it was easier and more believable hearing that than hearing a lie. That he loved her, needed her, cared for her—none of which would be true; they hardly knew each other. For the first time since the panic attack gripped her, she felt herself relax. The anxiety began to slither away, slink back into the darkest recesses of her mind.
And for the first time in years, she felt her lips tip up, felt them stretch and pull, felt muscles work that she’d thought had atrophied after her mum and gran died.
He sucked in a sharp breath, brushing his knuckles along the curve of her cheek. “You should smile more, O’Fallen.”
“There hasn’t been much in my life worth smiling about,” she admitted reluctantly.
Frenzy gazed up at the sky, squinting into the brightness of the sunlight, then he sighed. She was amazed to note the savaging bite she’d given him was already healed up; to look at him you’d never think she’d just fed off him. There wasn’t even a trace of blood on his gold-kissed skin. He was perfect and without flaws, as all fae were.
And it suddenly dawned on her: she was still as naked as a jaybird and he was wearing nothing but his slacks around his ankles.
She giggled.
His brews drew down. “A laugh? I did not think the shrew had it in her.”
That made her laugh harder. Life was absurd. After all the years of seeing futures, of gleaning the darkest truths of someone, she finally understood what she never had before. “All my life I hid, I fought to survive, to eke out an existence because it’s what my mum and gran taught me to do. To hide, to run away, to never let others in, and now I see…how pointless it all was. They died protecting me, both sucked into the void that is the black-hearted shadow. I did everything they taught me, Frenzy, and in the end none of it mattered because I died too.”
Tugging her face in, he planted a hard kiss on her forehead. “But you’re not dead. You’ve been reborn and this is your chance to get it right. Do it right.”
She wanted that so bad it was almost painful. It was a sick churning in the pit of her stomach. A lease on a new life. “But we’re still running. And you shouldn’t be forced into this with me. Why are you here, Frenzy? Tell me the truth.”
“Okay. But not here. We’re going to talk some things out. But we’re too exposed. I should have thought of that earlier—”
“What? You mean instead of groping me arse?”
His lips twitched as his hands curved around the base of her spine, feathering along the top of her bottom. It made her hot and cold and achy in places that shouldn’t feel achy anymore. He’d filled her, given her the best orgasm of her life. It should have been enough, but it wasn’t.
“It’s your fault for having such a nice one.” Serious again, he threaded his fingers through hers. “We have to move away from here. I know a place. But first let’s get you dressed.”