Chapter Forty-two
Kylie saw her mom flinch. She didn't look at Kylie, almost as if trying to decide what lie to tel .
"The truth, Mom," Kylie said. "I need to know the truth."
Her mom final y looked at her. Both tears and panic fil ed her big brown eyes. "Who? Did your dad ... tel you?"
Which dad, Kylie thought, but didn't say it. She knew the one her mom meant.
Relief flowed through her. Her dad knew. Kylie hadn't wanted to believe her mom could have lied to him al these years. Then Kylie's relief vanished and she wondered if this was what the divorce was real y about. Had her dad just discovered he wasn't Kylie's biological father? Her heart tightened at the thought that the divorce was her fault.
"No, Mom, I promise. He didn't tel me. It was just ... a feeling." That much was true. She didn't have proof, she hadn't even asked Daniel. But the odd feeling that Daniel looked like someone she knew had final y made sense.
He looked like the girl she saw in the mirror every morning when she brushed her teeth-the same blue eyes, the same blond hair, the same bone structure. They even walked like each other.
And then there was his brain pattern. She kept seeing it in her head and then she remembered how Helen had described Kylie's pattern. But she couldn't tel her mom any of this.
"Plus, I don't look like Dad at al ," Kylie said instead.
Tears dampened her mom's cheeks. "Oh, baby. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."
"What happened?" Kylie asked. "Please tel me the divorce isn't about this."
"No, baby." Her mom wiped her tears, and started talking. "I met him, Daniel Brighten, at the gym. He worked there. He was ... I don't even know how to explain it, but to say he was charming. Almost magical. I fel in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him."
Her mom stared off at nothing as if remembering. "He asked me out. On the first date, he told me that in three weeks he was set to ship out for the Gulf War. Three weeks was al we had. I know it sounds so wrong, and I'l lock you in your room if you ever do this, but ... after that first date I knew he was the one. By the third, I was ... There was nothing I wouldn't do for him. We were inseparable.
"When he left, he told me that when he came back, he was going to marry me. That he'd introduce me to his family. They lived in Dal as, so I'd never even met them."
Her mom's breath hitched. "Two weeks after he was deployed, I realized I was pregnant. In my next letter, I told him." She bit down on her lips, and more tears flowed. "He stopped writing. I thought..." Tears rol ed down her cheeks. "At first I thought it was because he didn't want the baby."
Drawing in a deep breath, her mom wiped her face. "About two weeks later, I saw his obituary in the paper. Now I don't even know if he got the letter."
Kylie's heart clutched and she remembered seeing Daniel pul the letter from his pocket to his lips. Tears fil ed her own eyes and she fought the need to tel her mom about her dreams, about Daniel coming to see her.
Her mom wrapped her arms around her knees as if she was cold. Kylie knew he was here. He stood beside her mom, looking at her with so much love in his eyes that Kylie's own tears came faster.
"I was ... only eighteen years old," her mom went on. "My mom might have understood, but my dad, he was ... it would have kil ed him. Your dad
-I mean your stepdad-we had dated off and on through high school. He ... always claimed he loved me."
She held her head up. "He cal ed me right after al this happened. I told him it wasn't a good time. He didn't take no very easily. He showed up at work and I went out and had coffee. I told him. I don't know why I did. But I needed a friend."
Her mom turned and looked right at Kylie. "He did what most men wouldn't do. He got down on his knees and asked me to marry him, right then."
Kylie thought about her dad, how much he must have loved her mom to have done that. But what happened to that man now? How could he be the same man who ...
Her mom continued. "He asked for one thing, one promise. He never wanted anyone to know that you weren't his." She pressed her hands against her lips again. "Your real father was gone. I was desperate. I never ... never realized how hard that promise would be to keep."
Kylie reached for her mom's hand.
"The day you were born, it was like seeing your dad al over again. You are so much like him."
I know, Kylie thought, and gave her mom's hand a squeeze. Then she looked up at Daniel Brighten.
"I know, if he'd lived, he would have loved you so much."
Kylie closed her eyes and then the words popped out. "I think he does love me. I think he loves you, too."
Her mom did it then. She wrapped her arms around Kylie and hugged her. It wasn't quick, and not even awkward. It was just right. They stayed there by the creek for another couple of hours. Talking about everything. She told Kylie about the whirlwind love affair she'd had with Daniel. They even talked about Nana.
"You know," her mom said. "The day of the funeral. It took everything I had not to find me a tissue and remove that God-awful purple lipstick they put on her."
Kylie laughed. "I'l bet Nana would have appreciated it." And right then Kylie felt another breeze whisk by. It was cold, but it wasn't the same cold as Daniel's. Kylie smiled and knew Nana's spirit was close.
"Nana was special," Kylie said.
A while later, they started back through the woods. Their shoulders brushed up against each other as they walked. Her mom reached over and squeezed Kylie's hand. "Your dad," her mom said. "The man who raised you ... he loves you. I know you're mad at him."
"I have a right to be mad," Kylie said.
"I know," her mom answered. "I'm mad at him, too." She hesitated. "No, I'm furious. But I don't think he could have loved you more if you were his own. This is just ... a midlife crisis." She stopped walking. "Or maybe the truth is something I don't even want to admit."
"What?" Kylie asked.
"He loved me, Kylie. In the beginning, he loved me so much. And I ... never loved him like I loved Daniel. I never told him, but he knew it. And in time, I ... God help me, but I resented the promise he asked me to make. Every time I looked at you, I saw your real father and I felt as if I was lying to you. Lying to myself. The marriage suffered. Our relationship suffered." Her mom waved a hand between them. "It was easy to blame him, but honestly, I'm just as much at fault. I didn't have to make that promise."
Her mom reached over and brushed Kylie's hair back. "He was a good father. For years, most of those sixteen years, he was a good husband. He deserved a woman who loved him as much as he loved her. He never had that. How unfair was that to him? Maybe after al that time, he just couldn't handle it anymore."
Kylie knew her mom had made valid points. Things she should consider when she reevaluated her relationship with her dad. "He could have just asked for a divorce. He didn't have to start cheating with someone practical y my age."
"I'm not saying he's right. Or that he's perfect. But he loves you, baby. He loved you even when he didn't have to."
Before her mom left, she made Kylie promise to cal her dad again soon. It was a promise Kylie intended to keep, but not today. Probably not even tomorrow.
* * *
"Why does romance have to be so complicated?" Kylie blurted out as she barged into Holiday's office later that night. Kylie had been in her room since her mom left, thinking about her dad and mom and Daniel and comparing al that to what she felt for Lucas and Derek. It wasn't the same thing, but in some smal way, it almost felt like it was.
Holiday looked up from the paper on her desk. If the woman's expression was any indication, she was in about the same mood as Kylie. Confused and hurting. No doubt, Holiday and Burnett had butted heads again.
"Good question," Holiday answered. "I personal y think the gods did it just to piss us off."
Kylie dropped down in the chair across from her desk.
Leaning back in her chair, Holiday studied her. "You've been quiet al day. Did the visit with your mom go okay?"
Kylie decided to spil the beans. "Daniel Brighten, the ghost, is my real father."
Holiday nodded. Not the reaction Kylie expected.
Kylie felt her gut tighten. "If you tel me you knew this al along, I'm gonna be so pissed."
"I didn't know." Holiday held up her hand. "I suspected. There's a difference."
"You should have told me."
"It doesn't work like that."
"Wel , I don't like how it works," Kylie barked.
Holiday let go of a sigh. "Sometimes I don't, either."
They got quiet. Music from the dining hal wafted into the room. A party was going on. A celebration of sorts for not having to close down the camp and for the decision to make the camp a boarding school. For many of the campers, it would be a lifesaver.
"Everything else okay?" Holiday asked.
"Yes." Then Kylie felt that if she didn't get it al out she would burst. "No, it's not okay. I like two guys. One left so that should make it easy, right?
Especial y since the one who left is probably off having kinky sex with his she-wolf. But no, I've got my mom, my dad, and Daniel's story in my head tel ing me how it's not fair to care for someone if you care for someone else." She stopped talking just so she could breathe.
"I'm sure that not's easy," Holiday said.
"Oh, I'm not finished yet. It gets better, because this guy, the one I like, has the power to toy with my emotions. And when I'm with him, I feel as if it's too good to be true. That makes me wonder if maybe what I'm feeling is real. Maybe he's just using his power to make me think I real y like him."
Holiday frowned. "I don't think Derek would do that."
Okay, Kylie knew Holiday would figure out who the boys were, but hearing his name made Kylie's chest clutch.
"Then again," Holiday said. "Derek is male. Their logic isn't the same as ours."
"So you agree; he could be doing this, couldn't he?" Kylie asked.
Holiday looked as if she'd been put on the spot. "He could, but again I don't think Derek is that type."
"I don't think he is either, but..." She closed her eyes. "I'm just feeling so confused."
Holiday sighed again. "I wish I could tel you it gets easier when you're older. But where men are involved, there always seems to be some bafflement."
"And then there's Daniel," Kylie seethed. "Now that I need for him to show back up so I can ask him what the hel I am, he's not cooperating. He's off playing golf or poker with St. Peter or whatever men do in heaven. Or heck, maybe he's found himself some hot too-young girlfriend like my dad has and decided to drop me in the grease, too."
Holiday laughed. "Have you considered that maybe Daniel wants you to find this out for yourself?"
"Oh, that's so not fair," Kylie said. "Your parents didn't die or anything and leave you to go scrambling around to find out what you were. You were born knowing it."
Holiday shook her head. "Everyone's journey is different. Why don't you make that your next quest?"
Kylie slammed back in the chair. "I don't want another quest. Why can't it just be easy?"
Holiday grinned. "Easy is no fun." She sighed. "As much as I hate admitting it, if men were easy to figure out, they probably wouldn't be as much fun as they are."
"Yeah, but feeling as if your life is raining chaos isn't fun. And that's what I've felt for the last two months."
Holiday frowned and reached over and patted Kylie's hand. "And I'm about to make some things even more difficult for you."
"What?" Kylie pul ed her hand away from Holiday.
The camp leader frowned and pul ed a letter from her desk drawer. "I wasn't going to give you this, but then ... I remembered what you said about me being too protective."
A wiggle of concern shot through Kylie. "You know, being protective is good sometimes."
"No. You were right," Holiday said.
"Is it from Daniel?" Kylie stared at the envelope.
"No. It's from Lucas."
"Just shoot me now." Kylie banged her head on the desk.
Holiday giggled. "It can't be that bad." She reached over and gave Kylie's hand another squeeze. "You are a special girl, Kylie. If I had to guess, I'd say these two aren't going to be the only ones who wil jump through fire to get your attention." She stood up. "I think I'm going to go sit in on the party for a while. Stay in here as long as you want."
"Holiday?" Kylie said her name without turning around.
"What?"
Kylie looked back. "Did Lucas write to you, too?"
Holiday nodded.
"Do you know if ... if Fredericka is with him?"
Holiday's eyes shifted. "Yes."
"Thanks." Kylie turned around. Holiday's footsteps faded into the sound of the music from next door. Kylie pul ed the letter closer. She remembered how it had felt to kiss Derek-hot, safe, except for the little doubt that her emotions were being manipulated. Her kiss with Lucas had been ... hotter, but nothing about it had felt safe. Maybe that was even why it had been hotter. Risk and passion seemed to go hand in hand.
Kylie stared at the letter. Was there anything that Lucas could say in that letter that would change the fact that he'd left, that he was with Fredericka-a girl he admitted to having sex with? A girl he'd even admitted caring about.
No, Kylie thought. There was nothing Lucas could say to change that. Any more than her dad could change what he did to her mom. Or what Trey had done to her.
The music seemed to cal out to her. There was a party going on and she should be there. She folded the letter and put it in her pocket. She deserved to just enjoy tonight. Later, she'd find out what Lucas had to say.
She stood up, turned to leave. The cold hit her so fast, her breath caught, then, the room fil ed with a thick fog. Okay, this was different.
The thought no more went through her head when Kylie knew how different. This wasn't Daniel. She tried to relax. But face it, this ghost business was going to take some getting used to. "Daniel?" She said his name almost hoping she was wrong.
A section of fog slowly lifted. A woman, no more than thirty, with long dark hair, stood there. She wore a beautiful white gown, or it had been beautiful at one time.
Kylie's heart thudded against her chest bone as she took in the bloodstains. The woman looked at Kylie with dead eyes, eyes fil ed with so much hopelessness that Kylie wanted to cry.
"Stop him," the woman said. "Stop him, or he'l do it again."
"Who?" Kylie asked. "Who did this?" Kylie gripped her hands together and wished Holiday hadn't left. "Are you looking for Holiday?"
The woman didn't answer. Instead, she faded into the fog. Kylie stood there, hugging herself against the cold, as the fog rose and disappeared into the ceiling. Slowly, the temperature crept back up.
"That is so unfair," Kylie muttered.
"What's unfair?"
Kylie swung around. Derek stood in the doorway. Dressed in faded jeans and a light blue shirt, he looked ... good. Safe. She met his eyes and she saw the affection he held for her.
Right then, she decided that for tonight she was going to forget.
Forget about the letter in her pocket.
Forget about not knowing what she was.
Forget a certain woman wearing a blood-soaked gown.
Forget that she stil hadn't made the trip up to the fal s.
Even forget that her mom stil hadn't agreed to let Kylie stay at the school.
Tonight, she just wanted to listen to some music, and sit next to Derek-shoulders touching.
"You going to the party?" she asked.
"I've been there. Waiting on you."
"Then let's go."
Kylie started moving toward the dining hal , and Derek fol owed her. She paused at the threshold, and he bumped into her. Hit with deja vu, she remembered almost the same thing happening the first time she'd walked through these doors. She'd been so scared, so certain that she would hate it here. Then again, she'd also sensed that her life was going to change. And yeah, she had been right about that.
"Are we going inside?" Derek asked, brushing up against her. His breath felt warm against her neck. She nodded, but she just stood there wanting to take it al in. She saw Miranda chatting with Perry. The shape-shifter had yet to admit he liked Miranda, but Miranda was patient. Helen sat with Jonathon who played a game of chess with another vampire. Del a, sipping a glass of blood, stood watching the game. Since learning about the Shadow Fal s Camp turning into a boarding school, Del a had seemed to lose some of her pent-up anger. Not al of it, but some.
"You okay?" Derek asked, leaning even closer to her ear. He felt solid and so warm standing behind her and right now that was what she needed.
"Yeah." Kylie spotted Holiday sitting with Chris, listening to him play his guitar.
Looking across the room, Kylie found Burnett leaning against a wal , his attention so locked on Holiday that the world could end and he wouldn't notice. Yup, Holiday was his kryptonite, al right.
A sense of belonging fil ed Kylie's chest. She looked back at Derek and smiled. "Yeah," she repeated. "I'm okay."