Your Perfect Life

“Yes,” I agree. “John couldn’t stop talking about it for days!”


Rachel’s face clouds over at the mention of John, and I know it bothered her that his hand seemed to be permanently glued to my knee that night. I had felt so guilty that later, after John was asleep, I had snuck downstairs and called Rachel to make sure she was okay. She swore she was, but her declarations felt hollow. I’m just playing a role, I insisted. You of all people should understand, I added, thinking of her frolicking in Santa Barbara with Charlie.

“Voilà!” Jose calls out as he spins the chair around to reveal Audrey’s hair swept into a beautiful cluster on top of her head, a few expert pieces hanging over her cheekbones, highlighting the fake eyelashes and smoky eyes the makeup artist had already applied.

“Gorgeous!” I cry, both excited and nervous that Audrey looks ready for the red carpet, not a high school dance. “Do you love it?” I check in with her and she nods, smiling broadly.

Rachel walks over and hugs her tightly as Jose makes a warning noise to watch the hair. “You look incredible,” she says as she wipes a tear from her eye. In that moment, I know I’ve been too hard on her; of course these kids are still the most important people in her life. Hell, I’ve only been here a few weeks and they’re the most important people in mine. I grab her arm to let her know that I understand. She smiles before whipping her buzzing BlackBerry from behind her back and I realize she never let go of it.

? ? ?

“What can I say? She wants the big reveal!” I say to Sophie through the cracked door, unwilling to let her into Rachel’s bedroom, which has turned into an impromptu dressing room since we returned home from the salon. “You’ll understand one day when it’s your turn.”

“Whatever,” she retorts, crossing her arms over her chest tightly, as if she’s literally closing herself off to us. “You guys are acting like she’s heading to the Golden Globes.”

“This is an important night for her.” I reach over and uncross her arms and she smiles shyly. “Let her have her moment,” I plead. “Everyone deserves one. Right?”

“Okay,” she concedes and I’m relieved. “But how much longer?”

“Ten minutes, I promise!” I say as the doorbell rings, announcing Chris McNies’ arrival. Sophie bounds down the stairs to answer the door.

“You handled that well,” Rachel says as I close the door.

“Thanks,” I respond lightly. “Audrey, Chris is here.”

She squeals and I’m reminded that she’s just a sixteen-year-old girl, not the twenty-something sophisticated woman she appears to be in her dress and makeup. John hasn’t seen her yet, although he’d begrudgingly approved the dress last week. “Doesn’t the back seem a bit low?” he’d said as he walked around her, inspecting every angle.

“You just said no cleavage and no minis,” I argued. “We didn’t discuss the back.”

“I didn’t think we had to,” he said with a laugh, and I knew he was going to be okay with it. He reached over and fingered the price tag. “Casey paid for this?” he asked.

“Yes, and the shoes and bag too.” I spoke quickly, before he saw the price on the sparkling sling-back Jimmy Choos sitting on the couch.

“She’s been pretty damn generous lately.” He furrowed his brow. “Does she think we’re some charity case or something?”

“No!” I exclaimed. “Not at all. It’s just that, well, you know, she doesn’t have kids of her own. And let’s face it, she probably never will. So being a part of their lives is important to her.” I said the last part quietly, saddened by the thought of never having a family of my own.

“So buying Audrey a dress that costs as much as our last family vacation makes her feel better?”

“It does,” I said and smiled, thinking about how much I’d loved being a part of Audrey’s special day. How I don’t think I could go a day without seeing Charlotte’s smiling face. How I’ve come to love Sophie’s quick wit, even when she’s using it against me.

“And I love it so much, Dad,” Audrey interjected. “Please, can I wear it? I feel like a princess.”

John pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head. “Just make sure your date treats you like one. That’s all I ask.”

I squirmed in my seat a bit at his comment and tried not to think about the conversation I’d accidentally overheard a few days ago. I had just put Charlotte to bed when I was walking past Audrey’s room. I glanced in through the crack of the door and smiled to myself at the sight of her, lying on the bed, chatting with her girlfriend as she twirled her hair around her finger. Oh, to be sixteen again! I’d thought as I stood there and watched.

Liz Fenton , Lisa Steinke's books