“It was nothing,” she responds lightly. “Casey thought you could use some.” Then she chuckles. “Between you and me, I think she was surprised how under control you already had things.”
“Really? She didn’t think I could handle planning a simple party?”
“No, I don’t think that was it,” Destiny backtracks. “I think she was trying to be nice.”
“Yes, I’m sure that’s what it was,” I say quietly. Destiny glances over at me, worried she’s thrown her boss under the bus. “It’s fine,” I say to put her mind at ease.
I hear Destiny exhale a sigh of relief as we turn the corner and almost run into Dean who tries to brush past us, but Destiny stops him. “Dean, this is Casey’s best friend, Rachel.”
Dean looks at me. “Casey has friends?” He laughs. “Shocking.”
I can sense that Destiny is about to jump in but I cut her off. “Nice suit,” I say, using my free hand to finger the sleeve. Then I look down at his shoes. “You seem taller than you do on TV. Wait, are those heels on your shoes?”
His face turns crimson.
I pat his shoulder and continue. “It’s okay. I hear Tom Cruise needs them too.”
Destiny snorts and Dean walks off in a huff. She shakes her head. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Rachel.”
I smile. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.”
“I bet,” she says, still smiling. “Hey, did you hear the good news?”
“What?” I ask, even though I know full well what she’s about to say.
“Casey’s interview with Ryan McKnight killed. We beat Access L.A. for the first time!”
I feel dizzy and grab on to the railing as we walk down the stairs toward the craft service table. It was one thing reading about it online in Rachel’s bathroom after everyone went to bed, where I was still somewhat removed from it and could talk myself out of feeling jealous, nervous, helpless, or all of the above. But now, standing here in the studio, the lights hanging from the rafters above us, the set looking smaller than I remember it, my assistant’s eyes lighting up and her voice raising several octaves in excitement, I feel the impact in a way I hadn’t before. This was huge for me. The only problem was that I hadn’t actually done it. My best friend, who hadn’t been in front of a camera since boxy T-shirts and brown-braided belts were in style, had done it. “Congrats,” I say weakly. “That’s great.”
“The executives are flipping out over it, and of course Dean is totally pissed. We’re leaving Tuesday to go to New York for the follow-up.”
“What?” I stammer. New York? Follow-up interview?
“Yep, I can’t wait to hit the Big Apple!” she says as we spot Rachel. “There she is!” She points over to the table in the corner, where Rachel is sitting close with Charlie, sharing a huge plate of pasta with him.
What was she doing feeding my body refined carbs? And why was she sitting with Charlie and sharing those carbs with him?
I walk up to the table gripping Charlotte a little too tightly. “Hey there,” I say through clenched teeth. Taking them in, a plate of greasy pasta between them, their knees touching, Rachel talking a mile a minute about some typo in the Prompter, Charlie’s eyes fixed on her.
They look up in unison. “Oh, hey,” Rachel says slowly, acting surprised to see me. She immediately pulls Charlotte from my arms and coats her cheeks with kisses. Charlotte squeals in delight and nestles her head into Rachel’s shoulder. I catch Destiny and Charlie sharing a look and I suppress a smile. The Casey they know would never have picked up a drooling baby after undergoing two hours of hair and makeup. Or ever, for that matter.
“Watch the drool,” Destiny reminds Rachel.
“It’s fine,” Rachel says firmly and Destiny looks over at Charlie again. He shakes his head. I think he stopped trying to figure me out a long time ago.
“Want to hold her?” Rachel asks Destiny. “Isn’t she adorable?”
“Um, thanks but no thanks,” she says as she takes a step back, clearly not wanting to catch whatever baby-loving bug is going around.
“Nice lunch,” I say pointedly, nodding my head at the offensive fettuccini Alfredo Rachel had been shoveling into my body when I walked up.
“Carbs provide energy,” she says unapologetically. “Who wants a life without bread and butter?”
Destiny laughs and touches Rachel’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Casey,” I say, thinking about all the times I’d gone without, the desserts I’d skipped, the baskets of warm bread and butter I’d sent away. Realizing now how silly it all was. How I shouldn’t have obsessed. Wanting to tell her, it’s okay, eat what you want. But I can’t. It’s still my body, which is my livelihood. “You know what happens when you don’t watch what you eat. You wouldn’t want to ruin all the hard work you’ve put into your body, now, would you?”
Rachel gives me a warning look. “Don’t worry about me so much.” She reaches out to touch the Gucci diaper bag. “I see you’ve been making some changes too. Does John know about this?”