Yes Chef, No Chef

chapter Five



By Wednesday morning with still no phone call, text or email from Tim she was full of fight and determination and had stubbornly decided if he could get through these days without contacting her then so could she.

Feeling more in control than she had since Sunday, she said to Sarah, “I mean, there’s no way I’m going to allow any man to ruin my life.”

They’d pulled up outside Kings Cross station and Sarah collected her case from the back seat of the Micra then kissed Katie on the cheek. “Of course you won’t. Now, take it easy while I’m away and remember to make yourself completely at home. I’ll text you when I get to York.”

Katie’s stomach churned with agitation while she waved to Sarah and headed off to Holborn to start work. It was obvious Tim had no intention of making the first move after the argument she thought indignantly, which was rich considering it was his fault in the first place. She knew he could be stubborn and she hadn’t been expecting flowers and please forgive me messages but he could at least have called to see where she was and if she was all right.

Argh, she wailed silently in frustration as she sat at her desk, what was the saying, bloody men - you couldn’t live with them and you couldn’t live without them.

“Still no news from Tim?” Frances asked when she joined her with two coffees.

She’d taken Frances for a drink the night before and told her the whole sorry mess about the Savoy, the massive bust up and that she was staying at Sarah’s.

Katie bristled. “Nope, I might as well face the fact that he’s in no rush to get in touch and beg me to go back, or even if he wants me back at all?”

“Now, you don’t know that,” Frances soothed. “He could be just cooling his heels for a few days and you might hear something from him tomorrow?”

Katie squeezed her arm gratefully. “You know, Fran, I’m beginning to wonder about our relationship. I mean, has it all been one-sided? It looks to me as though he’s not even worried about where I am, or if I’m OK. And I know if it was the other way around I’d be beside myself with worry about him.”

They both sipped their coffee thoughtfully. “Plus, he’s not a stupid man,” Katie said. “And he must know that the longer he leaves getting in touch the bigger chance he has of losing me altogether?”

“Hmm,” Frances mused. “Men are weird buggers,” she snorted in her deep Somerset accent, which made Katie smile.

Draining her coffee Katie clashed the mug none too lightly down on the desk. “Well, I’m not going to sit about brooding over him. If this is the way he wants it then he couldn't have cared that much about me in the first place,” she retorted. “Come on, let’s go down to the development kitchen and taste the lemon dessert samples the Shrewsbury guys have sent in.”

The department’s meeting to discuss the launches of desserts continued longer than expected and it was after six o’clock when Katie left for Sarah’s house. She’d received a text from Sarah to say the design course in York was good, the hotel fabulous and she was getting ready for Mark to arrive. Oh well, she smiled, at least one of them was having a good time and, just as she wondered what Lisa was doing for the evening, she saw her Mazda Sports car parked outside Sarah’s.

Lisa jumped out of the car still dressed in the black pin-striped trouser suit she wore for work. “Where’ve you been? I was just getting ready to text you,” she exclaimed walking around to the boot. “I decided to surprise you and then started to worry that you’d gone out straight from work.”

Katie locked her car and stared at her in surprise. “And I was just going to ring you and see what you were doing tonight?”

She opened the boot and lifted a small holdall out. “Well, Sarah and I both thought you’d be miserable on your own so I thought I’d come and stay until she gets back,” she said grinning. “Well, that’s if you want me to, of course?”

Katie grinned at her and once again thought how fortunate she was to have such great friends. “Oh Lisa,” she said and felt tears prick the back of her eyes with their kindness. “That’ll be great, thanks. To tell you the truth I was dreading being on my own.”

Lisa put an arm along her shoulders and gave it a squeeze. “Still no word?”

“No, nothing. I’ve made my mind up now that he’s never going to get in touch…”

“Come on,” she said slamming the boot closed. “Let’s get inside, open a bottle and make a plan.”

Katie pulled together a scratch dinner, opened a bottle of wine and they ate ravenously for a few minutes without talking. “Gosh, I didn’t realise how hungry I was until I smelt the food.”

Lisa licked at a stray piece of linguini from her chin. “Me too. I think it’s amazing how you can just pull something together like this with every day ingredients. Even with a dozen recipe books I wouldn’t be able to do this…”

Katie smiled at her friend. “Hmm, I remember one night at your flat when Sarah teased you about your lack of cooking skills and had said that if feeding the three of us was left to you we'd live on pizza, bags of salad leaves and cherry yoghurts!”

Lisa loved everything Katie cooked because she couldn't cook at all. In fact, she told everyone that the only thing she'd ever used her oven for was to warm her jumpers during the winter and she wasn't exaggerating.

With a glint of mockery in her eyes Lisa said, “Well, I can’t be good at everything, now can I? I do have other skills that don’t necessarily take place in a kitchen…”

Katie giggled and was really pleased Lisa was with her because she felt so lost and lonely in this alien situation without Tim and although she was still furious with him, she missed him and the apartment terribly.

Lisa placed her spoon and fork into the empty pasta bowl and raised an eyebrow. “You, OK?”

“Yes, of course,” she said trying to smile. “It’s just all very strange without him.”

Lisa cleared the dishes and stood looking puzzled at the dishwasher controls. “Hmm, this looks tricky,” she said. “I don’t suppose we could just stack them in the sink for tonight?”

Katie laughed and joined her. “I’ll see to that. You go through and open another bottle.”

“Now that I can do. I’ve had plenty of practice with bottles,” she said smirking.

Loading the dishwasher Katie thought of Lisa and how totally opposite she was to Sarah; in fact all three of them were different in their own ways and her mum often commented about the strange trio they made. Their backgrounds and careers were totally different and Lisa was eight years older than Sarah and Katie, so how or why they clicked together she wasn't quite sure but would always be eternally grateful that they did. She’d been overwhelmed by their love and support over the last couple of days and knew she couldn’t get through this without them.

Katie wandered into the lounge just as Lisa read out a text from Sarah, “She sends her love and is hoping I’m looking after you properly.”

Katie smiled. “She’s such a mother hen. I wish she could meet her Mr Right and have some babies,” she said, “but I have a feeling that even Mark isn’t him.”

“I know, Katie, but the Prince Charming she’s waiting for probably doesn’t even exist,” she said and picked up a magazine to use like a fan wafting her face which was beginning to flush.

As she held her arm up Katie noticed a circle of sweat on Lisa’s underarm which had stained into a damp patch on her white T-shirt and felt so sorry for her.

“Shall I turn the heating down?” Katie offered.

Lisa pulled a comical face. “No thanks, I’m OK. It’s just one of these bloody hot flushes. They only last a few minutes and if you turn it down then we’ll be chilly later.”

Lisa always looked like what her mum would call a bit of a tart; she was tall and very slim with long blonde hair and carried herself with a forty year olds air of arrogance and confidence. She was a strong believer in making the most of ones assets and her strength lay in her open, gregarious personality. But Katie knew better. She knew most of Lisa’s appearance was a front which gave people the impression she was a hard nut to crack but underneath the facade and layers of make-up she was just as vulnerable as the rest of them.

The minute Katie plopped down on the settee Lisa let rip. “You know, Katie, I’ve a good mind to go round to that restaurant and give him a piece of my mind for hurting you like this,” she said angrily. “And, who the bloody hell does he think he is ignoring you!”

Katie sighed. “I know, I know,” she said feeling the sadness bubble-up into a choking mass of tears in the back of her throat.

Her two friend’s different opinions had mirrored her own thoughts and the way she’d been feeling all day. One minute she felt tearful and upset and wanted to run and throw herself blindly into his arms like Sarah would do, and then ten minutes later she felt annoyed and angry like Lisa was now, knowing he should be the one contacting her because it was all his fault.

She saw Lisa’s expression change from anger to pity. “I mean after all the weeks you’ve put up with his shitty behaviour he should be round here grovelling on his knees begging for your forgiveness not bloody ignoring you…”

She turned her head away from Lisa struggling to keep control. “I know, and I’ve been making excuses for him all day thinking he could be lying in bed feeling terrible because I’ve walked out.”

Katie could tell by the look on Lisa’s face that this wasn’t likely because suddenly she avoided eye contact and began to pick at the stitching down the seam of her trousers.

“What?” Katie asked. “You know something, don’t you?”

Lisa took her hand. “Oh honey, he’s not in the apartment grieving about you because I drove past him this morning turning into the restaurant car park,” she said and began to pat the back of her hand in a clumsy attempt at comforting her.

It didn’t work and Katie swallowed down the tears that were more from embarrassment now than emotional upset. She felt such a fool thinking that he would be too upset to get on with his usual day-to-day life. “Oh God, Lisa, what a first class idiot I really am…”

Lisa switched into full-support mode. “No, you’re not, you are just in utter turmoil so let’s try and get you sorted out,” she said. “I hate seeing you agitated like this and I think it’s time for some action?”

Katie sighed heavily. “Yeah, I think you’re right. He’s had three days to sort himself out and still nothing, which probably means he still can’t see that he’s in the wrong. You know Lisa, if I could just see just a glimmer of my old sweet natured Tim…”

“People change,” Lisa said gravely, “and not always for the better. Believe me I know, I’ve done the leg work.”

Katie smiled shakily at the words. Lisa was working with an American woman and Sarah had been teasing her because she kept using some of her expressions.

Lisa continued. “And you’re convinced this change in him started with the new head chef job? Because if so, then it’s obvious this is the way he reacts to stress. In my experience people usually behave in stressful jobs very differently but after a while they usually quit or find some other way of dealing with it.”

Katie nodded dejectedly. “Yeah, well maybe Tim’s way of dealing with it is by taking it out on me?”

“Hmm, it certainly looks like it. And if he’s not even prepared to talk about it then I suppose it’s up to you now?”

Katie looked at her questioningly. “How come?”

“Well, if it was me I’d start by asking myself some questions,” Lisa said. “Like do I want to go back and try again with a guy who doesn’t even recognise he has a problem, let alone is willing to change? And am I prepared to carry on hoping that in time he’ll revert back to his old self because I still love him and will stick by him no matter what shit he throws at me? Or, do I decide if this is him now, then as much as I loved him, I really don’t want to be with him anymore?”

“Phew!” Katie exclaimed. “I think you’ve just put everything that has been going round and round in my head since Sunday into three simple questions.”

Lisa gulped at her wine and smiled. “It’s not easy. But if you don’t mind me saying I think it’s about time you started to think about yourself and what you really want.”

Katie laid her head back onto the settee and felt the knot of emotion in the back of her throat tighten. “I know you’re right,” she said. “I think I’ve spent so much time worrying and dancing around his moods that I’ve forgotten about me in all of this.”

“Very often the case,” Lisa sympathised. “Feeing confused never helps but at least now we’ve put the problems into some type of order, it might make you feel better?”

“Yes, thanks, it does,” Katie said nodding gratefully. She could just imagine Lisa in her job as she took the emotion out of situations and directly solved problems with big teams of people – she was very impressive.

Lisa refilled their glasses. “So, now we have the questions it’s up to you to take the time to think them through and later we can come up with a plan of action for whatever you decide.”

Katie swallowed some wine. “Well,” she said anxiously, “I suppose if I decide to go back and hope he’ll change then I’ll have to make the move and ring him. But, if I decide I don’t want to go back, then…”

Lisa butted in. “Then, you’ll still have to contact him to go and get the rest of your things and sort the money side out, right?”

Heavens, Katie thought, what with all the upset since Sunday she’d never given a thought to money and the apartment. Lisa was right; she certainly had some decisions to make.

Later that night as she lay on the bed she decided to email him from her mobile.

To tim.davies from katie.charles

Hi Tim, Not sure where to start with this email but as it’s three days with no contact I thought I’d see if you wanted to talk or try to sort things out? Or, if not I really do need to come and get some more of my clothes for work.

Katie

The email sat on the small screen for what seemed like ages while she changed it a few times, uncertain about what or how much to say. Did she end it with love, Katie or did she use the standard email jargon of best wishes, Katie. Surely she couldn’t use that because quite frankly she didn’t wish him all the best and changed it to simply read Katie, then gingerly pressed the send button.

Snuggling down under the duvet she felt better than she had done for days because finally she’d taken some action and although she still wasn’t certain of the answers to Lisa’s questions, it was definitely a start to break the deadlock between them.