Yes Chef, No Chef

chapter Four



Stay in control of the car, Katie willed herself on Sunday night as she drove across to Putney and pulled up outside Sarah’s house. Breathing a sigh of relief she saw the basement lights were on and silently prayed Sarah was at home. Turning off the ignition she finally gave in, put her forehead onto the steering wheel and let the torrent of tears fall down her cheeks. ‘Oh God, how could he have been so horrible?’ she cried and began to sob loudly.

Sarah lived in the first two floors in a Victorian house on Carmalt Road just off Putney High Street.

The sound of the passenger side door opening made Katie jerk her head up as Sarah stuck her face into the car. “OMG, what the hell’s going on?”

Wiping her jacket sleeve across her wet face Katie tried to speak, “H…he was just so foul,” she gabbled, “I…I couldn’t take any more…”

Sarah took charge of the situation and closed the passenger door. She walked around the car and opened the driver’s door. “OK. Come on, honey. Let’s get you inside,” she soothed, putting her arm along Katie’s shoulder.

Katie started to ramble again in between sobs, “Sorry, Sarah, I should have rung first but I just didn’t know where else to g…go?”

“Shush now, you’re going to be OK,” she said. “You came to just the right place.”

Gently but firmly she eased Katie out of the car, grabbed her holdall, locked the car door, and guided her down the steps into the basement flat.

“B…But, I…” Katie tried to stammer again but her teeth were chattering together like they’d done when she’d had an anaesthetic to have her appendix out. And although she didn’t particularly feel cold she just couldn’t seem to stop shivering.

Sarah eased her down onto the settee and whipping the throw from the back she draped it around Katie and across her chest. “Now, you just stay there,” she said. “I’m going to get you a cup of hot tea.”

The sobbing was easing now and she managed to steady her teeth while she watched Sarah go through into her kitchen-diner. A feeling of safety flooded through her and she didn’t want to let Sarah out of her sight.

Coming back into the lounge she set a tray down next to Katie. “Here, knock this back,” she said handing her a small glass of brandy. “And I’ll join you. I think we could both do with it.”

Katie did as she was told and felt the warmth from the brandy flooding through her veins making the feeling of safety blend with a calm soothing sensation.

Sarah threw back her short bob of glossy black hair and drank the brandy in one go. “Oh, that feels better,” she said and took the empty glass from Katie replacing it with a mug of hot tea which she immediately wrapped her fingers around. “You’re freezing cold and you’ve had a nasty shock, that’s all it is, love. Don’t worry, you’ll soon be feeling better.”

Katie managed a weak smile. “Thanks, Sarah, I do already,” she said and began to sip the hot tea. She knew she owed Sarah an explanation and started to try and tell her a little of the argument.

“Not now,” Sarah said putting a hand up in front of her. “There’s plenty time for all that later. Keep it out of your mind for a while and just relax back, get warmed through and drink your tea.”

She watched Sarah fiddling with the TV remote and chattering about what program they could watch on a Sunday evening and not for the first time knew she felt blessed to have her friendship.

Sarah was small with delicate facial features and possessed an almost girlish prettiness. Being just five foot, with a tiny body and a pale English rose complexion her quietly composed personality gave off an air of calm gentleness and nearly every man she met wanted to rescue her. They often confused the gentleness with helplessness which drove Sarah crazy but then soon realised she had such an underlying strength of character that Katie often thought she was stronger than her and Lisa put together.

A loud knocking on the front door seemed to shatter the stillness of the room and they both gasped in shock. “Goodness, I am popular tonight,” Sarah said getting up from the settee.

Katie’s mind raced. Was it Tim coming to look for her? She almost squealed with fright. “Sarah, if it’s Tim I don’t want to see him,” she warned. “I…I just couldn’t face him!”

Sarah was on her way towards the door. “Oh you needn’t worry about that,” she retorted. “He won’t set one foot over my door step.”

Katie’s eyes were glued to the open doorway and her recently calmed insides started to churn again. Her heart beat thumped loudly in her ears in the quiet atmosphere while she held her breath.

“Oh darling,” Lisa declared grandly sweeping her way into the room followed by a smiling Sarah. Lisa wore a long, fine-knit, blue dress with a white thick shawl flung over her shoulder and pounced upon Katie hugging her with such ferocity that Katie could hardly catch her breath.

“Are you OK?” Lisa asked staring hard into her eyes. “I rang your landline and that bastard, Tim, said you’d left. And I knew you would either come to me, Sarah, or your mums and because I hadn’t seen you I figured I’d start with Sarah first.”

Katie untangled herself from the shawl. “I’m fine, Lisa,” she stressed. “I came straight here because you only have one bedroom and I knew mum would be at the bingo. And I’d got myself into a bit of a state but Sarah has poured brandy and tea down my neck and I’m loads better now, honestly.”

Lisa flounced down next to her on the settee and took hold of her hand, patting it reassuringly almost like an old matron would do. “Thank, God,” she murmured. “You’ve no idea of the panic I felt when I didn’t know where you were and if you were all right.”

During this time Sarah had disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine. “Wine anyone?” she asked without waiting for replies and poured three glasses. They all took a glass and Sarah dropped down onto a beanbag next to the settee, tucking her legs underneath like a little girl. “Katie wanted to tell me about the argument before but I told her to leave it for now until she felt better. I think it’s best to do that when you’ve had a nasty shock, don’t you?”

“Nasty?” Lisa probed and raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “He hasn’t hit you, has he?”

Feeling warm now Katie started to sweat and pulled off the throw, unzipped her jacket and taking it off lay it on the arm of the settee. “No, no, of course he hasn’t. Shit, I feel really stupid now,” she said. “I think I just over reacted and was so upset that I worked myself into a hysterical state.”

Lisa and Sarah both nodded in understanding and sipped their wine while Katie started to tell them what had happened from the time he’d rang yesterday to say he wasn’t going to the Savoy. She kept stopping for gulps of wine because her mouth and throat were dry and she’d had to choke back tears on a couple of occasions. When she’d finished she sat back and knew what both their different reactions would be, and she was right.

Lisa was bolshie with indignation, hating him instantly for hurting her and was fired-up with a loyal protectiveness. Whereas Sarah’s angelic face was contorted with confusion and her eyes were watery with sympathy desperately trying to understand why he’d behaved in that way. Katie looked from one to the other and gave them a tired smile. They were the two best friends anyone could wish for and knew she couldn’t live without them in her life - she loved them the same as her own family.

An easy familiar silence settled between them until Lisa said, “You won’t have had time to think about what you’re going to do?”

Katie shook her head slowly and looked unhappily down into her wine glass.

Sarah stroked the side of Katie’s knee. “My advice, for what it’s worth, is to do nothing for a couple of days and see how you feel when he gets in touch with you?”

And Lisa nodded gravely in agreement. “Yeah, but don’t let the bastard off the hook too easily. He deserves to suffer…” she said menacingly, and as miserable as Katie felt she couldn’t help but giggle.

After Lisa had left and Sarah had made them both a light supper Katie felt exhausted and tried to suppress a yawn but Sarah saw and insisted she go to bed and think about having the next day off work to recover from all the turmoil.

“And you know you can stay here as long as you need to.” Sarah called as Katie bid her goodnight and made her way along the hall to the guest bedroom.

Opening the hastily packed holdall she pulled on blue spotty pyjamas and crawled into the bed, exhausted. She tugged the quilt up under her chin and moaned quietly, missing the breadth of his shoulders next to her. Her temper about the argument had long since dissolved and in its place was a feeling of abject misery. The horrible words he’d yelled at her were going over and over in her mind and although she tried to think about his shitty behaviour over the last few months and knew she should hate him instinctively she stretched her hand across the great expanse of empty bed and cried herself to sleep.

The alarm on her mobile phone woke her the next morning and suddenly realising she wasn’t in her own bed she looked around the room at the candy stripped wallpaper and remembered what had happened. Maybe Sarah was right and she should call in sick but then thinking of the busy week ahead she decided to compromise and take the morning off. She sent a text to Frances telling her she had a migraine and was going to take some pain-killers and hopefully would see her around lunch time.

Lying back in the bed she began counting the amount of thin and thick stripes in the wallpaper which was a technique she’d used in the past when she was trying to keep a problem off her mind. But inevitably the argument won out and she went over and over the words they’d screamed at each other trying to understand why he’d been so horrible. This however, was difficult because she was still convinced that she was right and he was definitely in the wrong. He has to be, she raged, because the girls certainly agreed with her and all three of them couldn’t be wrong, could they?

Curling herself into a ball she dragged her eyes from the wallpaper stripes and focused instead on the bedside clock. For some reason the memory of an old boyfriend came into her mind and how he’d once told her that everything in her world had to be black and white and that she couldn’t cope with grey areas.

Thinking about this theory she wondered what would be classed as grey in their situation but shaking her head she still couldn’t quite grasp it and swung her legs out of bed. No, the upshot was that she’d lost her temper and got to such a stage that she couldn’t have backed down even if she’d wanted to. And, then again, did she really want to?

Feeling like her head was about to explode with confusion she plodded along the hall, peeped into Sarah’s empty bedroom and then into the kitchen to make coffee. A note from Sarah was stuck to the kettle telling her to have breakfast and if she needed anything she was upstairs in her studio.

Sarah was a freelance graphic designer and had turned the whole of the second floor in the house into one large art studio. It was a beautiful room where light flooded through a massive bay window and all the walls were painted white. The room was full with canvases, sketch pads, easels, paints, materials and three desks; one of which held her lap top, one which was where Sarah painted, and the third held a desktop drawing board. Katie stood in the doorway and watched Sarah who sat with a huge plan clipped onto the drawing board and was so deep in concentration she was unaware of Katie. She used the time to look lovingly at her friend and say a grateful prayer of thanks that she’d been here last night because if she hadn’t she didn’t know how she’d have coped. She owed her big time.

Sarah was a true old fashioned romantic but at the age of thirty was still single. Katie had never been able to understand why because she couldn’t begin to count the number of guy’s Sarah had been out with. But Sarah was still adamantly looking for her Mr Right and was desperate to be married and have masses of children - sadly for some reason it just wasn’t happening.

“Morning,” Katie said quietly not wanting to startle her. “I brought you a coffee.”

Sarah swung around to face her, smiled and took the cup. “That’s great, thanks,” she said pointing to a cold coffee cup on the end of the desk. “I always forget I’ve made one and let it go cold. How are you feeling this morning?”

“Better, in fact I’m much better. And thanks again for last night, Sarah,” she said sitting on a stool next to the desk. “I’m going to shower, get ready and go into work at lunch time.”

Sarah waved her hand redundantly. “No thanks necessary, I know you’d do the same for me. But take your time with going into work and I meant what I said last night you can stay as long as you want to. In fact I’m going up to York on Wednesday for a two day design course so you’ll have the place to yourself,” she said. “But Tim will probably have rung by then and you could be back at the apartment.”

Katie sighed. “You know, Sarah, even if he does ring I’m not sure I’ll be able to bounce back so soon. Although I’m not angry anymore I’m still so rankled about it all and even if he was to crawl on his belly full of apologies well, I’m just not sure…”

“Then take your time to think things through properly,” she said sipping her coffee.

Katie nodded in agreement and turned around on the stool to look at the family photographs on the wall gazing at one in particular of Sarah and her twin sister, Libby. She often thought Sarah’s longing to be married stemmed from the tragic time when Libby had been killed in a car accident when they were in the last year of secondary school. It had been a devastating time for Sarah and everyone worried that the loss of her twin was something that would scar her for life and she’d never get over. Katie thought back to that time and how she hadn’t known Sarah very well at school but knew Libby much more because they’d been in the same athletics’ club together.

It was only when Sarah’s grandmother had died and left the house to Sarah in her will and she’d moved into Carmalt Road that they’d become close friends.

Sarah followed her gaze. “I often wonder about Libby. I mean, if the accident hadn’t happened and she was alive today, I wonder if she would have been married with babies yet,” she said wistfully.

Katie took her hand and rubbed it comfortingly between hers. “I know, hon,” she said pausing to think of some words of comfort. “But I suppose if she’d grown up like you, well she too would probably still be looking for Mr Right.”

“Hmm,” Sarah pondered and shook her head. “Anyway, did I tell you Mark is coming up to York for the night?”

Katie grinned at her. “Oh my God, no you didn’t!”

“Well, when I told him about the course he decided to take the day off work and join me in the hotel to have dinner. There’s a fabulous pool and spa so it’ll be a good chance to relax and unwind, and the food is supposed to be out of this world…”

Katie drained her coffee. “And how long has he lasted?” she probed. “It has to be at least six or seven dates now?”

“Seven but I’m insisting on single rooms or at least until we get there,” she giggled.

“Seriously though, Sarah, give him a chance. I think he’s lovely and he’s obviously crazy about you,” Katie said without much hope. Over the years both her and Lisa had cajoled her into giving men a proper chance to see if they could, in time be Mr Right but Sarah was always adamant that it should feel right from the beginning and if the men weren’t instantly her Prince Charming she kicked them into touch without a second glance.

Leaving Sarah to her design she showered, dressed and felt her spirits lift a little when she stepped outside and looked at her Micra. Remembering how upset she’d been last night in the dark she decided that the saying, everything always looked better in the daylight, was true. The street was quiet, and as Katie slid into the driver’s seat she noticed a woman about her own age wearily pushing a toddler in his buggy who was crying loudly. The woman looked tired and miserable as though the last thing in the world she wanted to do was care for the child, and yet there upstairs in her studio sat Sarah who would give anything to be in this woman’s position with a child to love. Life certainly seemed unfair sometimes, Katie mused, pulling away from the kerb.

Driving across the city to work she wondered if Tim would be too embarrassed to ring her now that he would have calmed down and maybe he’d send an email instead, or perhaps he’d just call around to Sarah’s and Lisa’s looking for her? Well, probably not Lisa’s because he knew the hostile reception he’d get. Parking her car and heading into the office block she decided to push him and the argument firmly out of mind until she’d finished work.

Stepping out of the lift on the third floor she looked around the big room at the sales team in one section, the buyers in the furthest corner and the planning team in the middle next to her own product development section. When she’d first started at the company the work area had been carved into two corridors with numerous offices leading from it but two years ago the whole floor had been re-designed into one open plan office. At first there’d been grumblings from the staff who felt as though they were sitting in a new-fangled call centre but everyone had eventually settled and now they liked the fact that all the teams were together.

Walking across the room under the bright strip lighting she gazed at the desks with smart professional men and women going about their daily jobs and thought how fortunate she was to work with people she’d known for years. It was the type of national retailer that looked after their work force well and a place where people were happy to work, hence staying in the jobs for much longer than in other companies. And in these times of recession she decided, that counted for a lot.

Removing her grey suit jacket and sitting down at her desk she decided everyone looked the same as they had done when she’d left on Friday and it was definitely only her that felt different. Booting up her computer she picked up Tim’s photograph from her tidy minimalistic desk and placed it carefully face down under a pile of papers - she couldn’t bear to look at him today and wanted to keep her mind firmly on her work.

Fiddling with the mouse cable she connected straight through to her inbox and speed read the names. There were no emails from Tim and she read through her to-do list which she’d written on Friday. Sighing heavily she remembered how excited she’d been looking forward to the party at the Savoy with her new dress to wear - it seemed like two months ago rather than two days because so much had happened. And none of what had happened had been very good.

“Hey there, are you feeling better?” Frances called walking over and perching on the edge of Katie’s desk. “You still look at little peaky to me?”

“I’m much better, thanks,” Katie answered and lowered her head hoping Frances wouldn’t notice her sore puffy eyes from all the tears she’d cried the night before. She couldn’t face going through the whole saga again and decided to tell her later.

“Now,” she said briskly opening the folder in front of her. “Let’s get our heads around the two new lemon desserts we’re launching next week.”

Frances stared with concern but shrugged her shoulders. “OK, honey,” she said quietly. Katie knew Frances had figured that she didn’t want to talk because she squeezed her shoulder lightly.

Katie asked, “Would you do the check list for sign-off procedures and I’ll spend the rest of the day going through the suppliers specification to double check it’s all in place.”

Frances nodded and stood up to return to her desk. “No problem,” she said. “I’ll take Alice and Harry through the list at the same time and they’ll get to know exactly what we’re responsible for.”

Katie smiled her thanks and looked around her organised desk. A bright red ceramic pot filled with pens, pencils and markers stood on one side of the computer and three product folders sat on the other side with a jotter pad just next to her right hand near the mouse. She groaned silently, put her head down and began to read through the suppliers details. The specification document was on her PC but she always liked to print it out and use a pencil and the jotter pad for scribbling notes just to make sure it was checked thoroughly. The afternoon progressed with phone calls, emails and queries that Frances had noticed, and by six o’clock they both agreed their preparations were complete. The travel arrangements for the following weeks visit to the supplier’s site in Shrewsbury, where they would be watching the factory produce the lemon desserts, were sorted and she breathed a sigh of relief.

As she called goodnight to the few remaining colleagues in the office she momentarily forgot she wasn’t driving home to the apartment and because there was still no word from Tim she decided to call at her mums first and let her know she was staying at Sarah’s house.

Pulling up outside her mums old terraced house on Abbotshall Road in Lewisham, she noticed the three stone steps up to the front door were crumbling slightly on the edges and the white paint on the old sash windows needed touching up. The street was full of familiar sights and sounds although most of the families and children she’d played with when growing up had long since moved. Locking the car door and looking up at the big family home she still puzzled at her mums insistence to stay there after her father had died because a small bungalow would suit her lifestyle so much better. But all their memories were locked in this house and street and if she closed her eyes now she could almost hear her dads whistle as if he was sauntering happily towards the front door. Smiling with the thought of him she hop-scotched up the three steps like she’d done when she was a little girl – familiarity always reassured her.

Her father had worked in the building trade all his life and her mum had always stayed at home to look after her and her two brothers apart from once when she was nine years old.

“I’m going to start a part time job to make some extra money for our holiday to the Isle of Wight,” she’d announced one night and they’d all gasped with shock. But, the job had only lasted for six months and when the holiday was over they all agreed, especially her father that they’d much rather she was at home when they got back from work and school. “That’s far more important than any holiday,” her father had said and Katie remembered the genuine look of gratitude and relief on her mums face - she’d always been much happier at home with her family rather than in a work situation.

Standing on the top step now she scuffed at some of the peeling paint with the toe of her black court shoe and decided to ask her brother, Jack, to find a decorator. At the same time as Katie opened the front door her mum came through the kitchen doorway. “Katie, what a surprise,” she said. “I was just thinking about you this afternoon.”

Katie hugged her and planted a big kiss on her cheek. “You were?” she asked.

“Yes,” she said and started telling her a long drawn out story about one of her neighbour’s cousins. But when Katie took her jacket off and slumped down at the kitchen table her mum stopped abruptly, switched the kettle on, sat down opposite her and searched Katie’s face. Her mum always did this because she reckoned she could tell at a glance when something was wrong with any of her three children, and Katie knew better than deny there was anything wrong. She told her exactly what had happened.

Her mum’s big hazel eyes widened with shock. “But I can’t understand it? I mean, why is he behaving like this?”

Katie looked at her mum’s hands clasped together on the kitchen table and her finger slightly swollen around the wedding ring she’d worn since she was eighteen.

“I don’t know, Mum,” she wailed. “It just seems to be since he got his new job! Maybe it’s the stress…”

It was eight years since her father had died and at the time they’d all been totally devastated with the shock of him being there one minute and gone the next with a massive heart attack. For years afterwards every time she looked into her mum’s eyes she saw the absolute misery and loneliness of living without him and it was only during the last two years that she seemed to be coming to terms with it.

Her mum stirred three heaped teaspoons of sugar into Katie’s tea and she protested, “Er, I don’t take sugar, remember?”

“You look like you could do with it. It’s the best thing for shock,” she warned and stirred it quickly with the spoon while Katie watched the liquid quickly swirling around.

Katie sighed. “I’m not in shock now, Mum. I’m fine, honestly. I was upset last night but not now. In fact, now the temper and tears have gone I just feel really sad about it all.”

Her mum brightened. “Look, I’m sure he’s sorry by now and he’ll probably be ringing you by tonight, or you might get back to Sarah’s and find a bouquet of flowers waiting for you.”

Katie played along with her positive vibes and sipped the tea although she couldn’t help screwing up her face with the sweet sugary taste. Her mum smiled and told Katie she could always come home to stay if she didn’t want to be at Sarah’s and then changed the subject back to her neighbour’s cousin story.

Katie relaxed her shoulders and sank back into the chair in the warm homely kitchen and with only half of her attention on the story she looked around the room letting all her childhood memories flood through her. She remembered the smell from wet washing drying on the old radiator and standing on the stool next to the old knotty pine table where her mum had taught her how to cream sugar and butter together in the big ceramic mixing bowl for cake mixes. Maybe this was where her love for cooking had come from she wondered and subconsciously she always associated cooking with warmth and family love.

She knew according to all the books she read and the people in her immediate circle of friends that her normal happy childhood was unusual now-a-days and most women her age seemed to be from dysfunctional or one parent families with horrid memories to haunt them. Yep, she’d definitely been one of the lucky ones and shook herself to nod in agreement at the shocking end to her mum’s story. After helping her mum with a couple of household jobs she eventually left just before seven o’clock and made her way back to Sarah’s.