Yes Chef, No Chef

chapter Thirty



Tim woke the next morning with his first slight headache for months. He remembered finishing work at the restaurant and coming back to the apartment and, over five or six cans of lager, telling Luke how he’d shouted at Kate in the restaurant kitchen.

Swinging his legs over the bed he groaned, thinking of how he’d yelled about the undercooked salmon - how could he have been so horrible, especially when she was the one who had come to help. The coffee pot that Luke had made earlier was still warm and he gulped mouthfuls of coffee while breaking a muffin in half. He had to get this mess sorted out as soon as he finished work. She would probably slam the door in his face, which he knew he deserved, but he was definitely going to beg her forgiveness. Whether that meant grovelling, apologising over and over again until he had to crawl along the floor - it didn’t matter what it took, he would do it.

After lunch time service and ignoring his stomach groaning for food he jumped into his car and sent Kate a text to let her know he was heading over to her flat with her wages. He prayed she would be home and they were soon answered when she sent a text back with a simple ok. His mind was racing as he pulled out of the car park and rehearsed exactly what he was going to say to her. While sitting at traffic lights he drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel knowing this was what he should have done months ago. In fact, he thought, he should have done this the day after she’d left him and although she may never forgive him now he was going to give it his best shot. Whether he came away looking like a prize idiot he didn’t care but he was going to tell her how much he still loved her.



Katie closed the mobile shut with a snap and felt her insides tumble. He was coming over and she was determined they were going to sort this mess out once and for all. Suddenly, she had a flash of inspiration that might just make her feel better and at the same time prove that she was a good cook. Opening the fridge door she took the bag Jessie had given her and quickly set to work. Within ten minutes she had everything prepared just as the front door bell rang and she opened the door to a very sheepish looking Tim.

“Hi,” she said, “Come in and sit down, I’ve got food ready.”

“You have?” he asked warily following her to the kitchen. He didn’t know what to expect, but this was his Kate and from the first day he’d met her she’d unpredictably kept him on his toes. He took his jacket off and sat down at the table feeling a little off-balance because he’d been expecting an argument not a meal and then wondered if she was going to tip the plate of food over his head, which he reckoned was probably all he deserved. Quickly he decided to get in first with his apologies as he’d planned.

“Look, Kate,” he said hesitatingly. “I’m truly and sincerely sorry about yesterday…”

“Oh, that’s ok. I decided when I got home that it’s definitely not a good idea for us to work together,” she said. “And when I offered to come and help you I never dreamt we’d have had the problems we did.”

She put a plate down in front of him with scallops, blanched vegetables and dressing. “I’ve cooked the scallops and salmon for you,” she said teasing him. “I hoped you may want to eat your words?”

Unbelievable, he thought, she was completely and utterly priceless - what other woman could turn around a dire situation like this? He relaxed his shoulders, threw his head back and began to roar with laughter and relief. Jenny had been right; he must have been absolutely crazy to let a woman like this get away.

She popped a scallop into her mouth and felt the juices run from it while she chewed; they were meaty and moist with a delicate flavour and the aroma from the ginger and lemon grass rose up tantalisingly from the plate as she licked her lips appreciatively.

He ate with gusto declaring, “These are simply delicious.”

She poured them both a glass of Riesling and then served the salmon fillets with sliced potatoes onto their plates. “I once read that salmon was described as a dish of elegant simplicity,” she said picking her knife and fork up. “I hope the salmon is cooked as chef would like it?”

Smiling at her he cut through the crispy pine nut and breadcrumb crust and ate a mouthful. “Ok, look, its absolute perfection.” he said staring deeply into her eyes. “It’s fabulous; just like you are.”

She lifted her shoulders with pride and although she was determined they were going to do some serious talking she decided to get the upper hand first, make him sweat, and have some fun into the bargain.

Taunting him she pronged a slice of sweet potato onto her fork and held it up in front of his face. “And the potato – is it too hard or maybe too soft?”

He knew he was well and truly beaten and in these circumstances; he also knew he deserved to be. She was a much bigger person than he could ever hope to be because if it had been the other way around he wasn’t sure if he could ever be as magnanimous. She had been, and still was the love of his life and he knew he’d never forgive himself for treating her so badly and losing her. Could she ever find it in herself to forgive him?

He nodded his head slightly in the act of submission and muttered, “Just like the salmon, it’s impeccably cooked.”

Taking hold of her outstretched hand he said, “I really am so very sorry, Kate. I know I was totally out of order and I feel especially crap because you were the one who came to help me. Christ, what was I thinking?”

She beamed with success but then remembered her stupid pride when they’d split up and if she could have only swallowed it and talked to him then they might not be in this situation. Her eyes softened forgivingly at him. “It’s all right. You were justified with some of your comments. I don’t know what happened to me in that kitchen; maybe it’s because I’m not used to cooking under pressure like you are?”

“Exactly,” he said relived that she was accepting his apology so well. “You’re an excellent cook and I didn’t help matters by shouting like I did. It’s just sometimes I get so caught up with what I’m doing with the food that everything else, like my manners and behaviour, flies out of the window. God knows how Jessie and Simon put up with me?”

She thought of how he’d shouted at her about the uncooked salmon and realised what he’d meant when he’d said it wasn’t personal. His manner had been totally different to the old sneering foulness that he’d used before they’d split up – yesterday had been simply an everyday bolshiness that Jessie and Simon accepted as normal chef’s behaviour. She could see now that she shouldn’t have thought he was verbally attacking her as his ex-girlfriend but merely as a member of his team who was making a cock-up with his food.

Thinking of her father, she wondered how he would tackle this situation and how she could get Tim to open up and talk? If only he would tell her about it, then they could move forward and she’d be able to understand him better.

She probed gently. “So, how long has the shouting and losing your temper been going on?”

He took a deep breath and started at the beginning; the night of the Savoy party, Jim stealing from the restaurant, and then settling personal issues with his father and Jenny, how he had never been able to cope with any type of rejection because of Sally and his mum leaving him briefly - he told her everything while she sat quietly listening and understandingly nodding her head.

“And the only way I could relax was by having a drink, which of course caused its own problems. You see Kate, I’ve had to learn how to handle people and make them want to work for me rather than against me.”

“Hmm, I can see that with Jessie and Simon,” she murmured giving him a reassuring nod to carry on.

He shuffled awkwardly in his chair. “And, well, because you are always the consummate professional and brilliant at everything you do, I couldn’t bear telling you what a mess I was making”.

She was shocked and dumbfounded when she realised Frances was right and he felt undermined by her in a professional capacity. “But Tim, I’ve made loads of mistakes at work,” she said. “Maybe not so much now after years of experience but when I first started I made some real corkers!”

She spread her hands out on the table towards him in a conciliatory manner shaking her head slowly. “Jeez, I wish you’d told me all of this before. I mean, we should have tried to talk about it?”

“Well, most of it has happened since you left”, he said, looking vulnerable and dropping his head and shoulders in shame. “I know I should have told you and when I think of how I took it all out on you when we were together...” Slowly and deliberately he shook his head and then whistled through his teeth as if he still couldn’t believe how badly he’d behaved.

“Oh, Tim,” she murmured. His defences were not just down now but well and truly flattened and her heart melted for him.

“I can’t bear to think about how awful I was to you and what’s even worse is that a lot of it happened in a drunken stupor and I can’t even remember it clearly – which in itself is disgusting. Please believe me, Kate, it’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life”.

She saw the pain shaped in his slumped shoulders and finally knew that he’d admitted his fault in the breakdown of their relationship. If this had happened the day after she’d walked out she might have felt some type of victory or satisfaction but looking at him now she couldn’t. All she felt was a great sadness to think that as close as she’d always thought they were he hadn’t felt able to talk to her about what was happening.

“It’s ok, I wasn’t completely blameless in the situation either,” she said. “I should have tried to be more understanding and I should never have walked away without at least talking to you first. My Dad always said I’m too stubborn for my own good, and he was right.”

Her big gentle eyes looked watery with tears of sympathy and tenderness. And because he couldn’t cope with her pity he looked up and said in a more buoyant voice, “No Kate, none of this was your fault. But don’t worry, I’m working my way through things and I’ll be fine.”

Her mind was spinning with everything he’d told her and stalling for time she stood up and went to the sink to fill a glass of water. From what he’d told her he’d obviously been on a massive learning curve since they’d parted and it was no wonder he’d been struggling to cope. But at least they were talking, she thought; they weren’t screaming and shouting at each other and he wasn’t being blasé and arrogant. Feelings of relief and pure joy flooded through her when she saw what looked remarkably like her old Tim - the Tim she’d fallen head over heels in love with, and the Tim she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Take it slowly she cautioned, remember what Lisa told you, tread carefully and keep your feet on the floor because there are still unanswered questions about size eight Julie and she needed to know for certain that he had definitely changed. She returned to the table sipping the water and, not wanting to spoil the intimate atmosphere by mentioning Julie or their separation, she decided that what they’d talked about was a good enough start. He looked emotionally wrung out and she could tell he’d had enough upset for one day.

Changing the subject altogether she tried to sound more upbeat. “So, back to yesterday, did you manage to get anything out of the food critic?”

“Oh yes,” he said brightly. “He loved the food and the new Victorian dishes and was more than satisfied when he left. And so was Jack, thanks to you.”

Pleased to see he was back in a more confident mood she grinned playfully at him twirling the wine glass in her hand. “That’s good,” she said. “Because basically it’s the only reason I put up with you yesterday. I knew how important it was to you and if it hadn’t been for the critic I would have run for the hills...”

“I know, Kate, and thanks a million,” he said.

She stood up, cleared the plates from the table and then went around to his chair and stood in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her to him and groaning he buried his face into her while she lovingly ran her hands through his thick hair.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear that,” she said. “You didn’t shout it loud enough, Chef!”

“Thanks a million!” he yelled, and they both burst out laughing.