Yes Chef, No Chef

chapter Twenty Nine



Arriving home with a feeling of crushing disappointment and her mind racing in turmoil she tried to figure out how everything had gone so badly wrong. She decided the guy who wrote the saying, never mix business with pleasure had hit the nail right on the head. Hot tears of humiliation and frustration ran down her face; what on earth had got into her and how could she have made such a mess of cooking the salmon and scallops.

Striping off the skirt to pull on her jeans she remembered how he’d yelled at her and the look of dismay in his eyes when the first salmon order had been returned uncooked. He had every right to be annoyed at first but then the more he’d gone on at her the more flustered she’d become. Groaning at the memory, she sauntered into the kitchen and swiped a piece of kitchen towel from the roll, wiped her face dry and opened the bag Jessie had thrust into her hand when she’d left. Inside were some scallops and three fillets of salmon left over from the service. Holy Moly, she cursed, as if she needed reminding about the complete and utter fiasco - the fiasco that was meant to have been a lovely day spent together.

She pushed the bag into the fridge and sat down heavily at the table with her head in her hands, remembering every single order she’d cooked and wondered why she’d fallen apart. And where, she cried out loud while pouring a glass of wine, had her notorious self-control been when she’d needed it most? Never, in the whole of her working career had she cracked under pressure like that and felt sick with shame at her crap performance. Sipping the wine she wondered what the girls were doing and if it would help to talk it through with them.

Sarah put an arm around her shoulder as Katie blurted out the whole sorry mess with Tim from start to finish while huddled on her settee and Sarah perched on the end of the cushion nodding sympathetically.

“And there was me this morning hoping we could at least be friends, and well, if I’m totally honest, I’d hoped to be a bit more than friends,” Katie blubbered. “A…and, Jessie told me he still has our photograph on desk and that she’s caught him loads of times sitting staring at it. So, I’d sort of hoped if he was missing me as much as I’ve been missing him then maybe we could try and get back together again. But all those hopes and dreams are well and truly down the pan now. I mean, if we can’t even work together for a few hours without falling out, there’s no hope whatsoever!”

She stopped and dried her face with a tissue before taking a deep breath and wailing, “And another thing, I wished I’d never got in touch with him because now we’re even further back from the day we kneaded bread together and it hurts more than it did back then. Oh, Sarah, I still love him so much – what am I going to do …” She threw her arms up in the air and knew she was being what Lisa called a drama queen but simply couldn’t help it.

Sarah stroked Katie’s knee. “Now, now, you don’t know that and he’ll be feeling crap as well, you know. And from what you’ve told me about his reaction when you arrived with his bear hug and being so pleased to see you he’ll be cringing now that he’s behaved so badly towards you.”

Katie looked at Sarah and tried to give her a smile of thanks. She really was trying to understand her misery. Gulping at her wine, she whimpered, “Do you think so?”

Sarah smiled. “Of course he will. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s running around here tonight full of apologies begging you to forgive him.”

At the sharp knock on Katie’s front door they both jumped and Sarah said, “That’ll be Lisa. I’ll go and let her in because I have to get going soon to meet Simon.”

Katie uttered her thanks and then looked up to see Lisa hurrying into the room full of concern and Katie took a deep breath in readiness for the onslaught.

“What the hell has he done now to upset you like this?” Lisa raged dropping down on the settee next to Katie.

Sarah gave Lisa a ‘calm down’ expression, while Katie busied herself pouring wine into another glass and drying her eyes.

“He hasn’t upset me, Lisa,” Katie said handing her the glass. “I’ve upset myself more than anything else with my stupid dreams.”

Sarah left and Katie settled back against the cushions to repeat the story again for Lisa who was surprisingly sympathetic and reassuring when she got to the end.

“And you haven’t heard anything from him since?” Lisa asked, nodding her head in understanding.

Katie smiled weakly. “Not yet. He did say he’d call but does that mean he’ll ring or call around?”

“Either I suppose…” Lisa soothed patting her hand. “And you really want to do this to yourself again, honey?”

Katie relaxed her shoulders and felt relieved after talking to the girls. She drained the wine from her glass. “I do still love him, Lisa, but after this mess today, I can’t see how we can come back from this disaster. Maybe it’ll never work out for us now,” she said miserably.

Lisa slipped her old denim jacket off and slunk back against the settee twirling the stem of the wine glass between her fingers. “You know, I’m not the best person to give you advice about this scenario, Katie. I don’t let myself get caught in a trap like this. In my mind if a relationship isn’t working, I just get out and move on to the next guy but there again I haven’t been in a living together set up like this, so…”

Katie shook herself out of her pathetic maudlin state. “I know, but I do appreciate you both being here and the support. And now the wine has kicked in and the embarrassing memories are fading, I suppose I’ll get over the disappointment again. It’s my own stupid fault for building myself up for another fall.”

A flashing memory of sharp pain settled upon Lisa’s face as though she was reliving her own personal battles and Katie tried to lighten the atmosphere. “You ok?”

Suddenly, as if a light had snapped on in Lisa’s mind she shook herself. “Me? Of course, I’m ok,” she said with her usual bright smile back in place. “After all, Katie, who the hell does he think he is? Heston bloody Blumenthal?” she giggled, to which they both fell about laughing.