Writing Our Song:A Billionaire Romance

Chapter 12


Kaikoura was a quiet place. I spent most of my time reading a book from one of the several bookshelves the house had, relaxing on the beach or exploring the town and surrounding area on foot with Jeremy. We discovered some really nice cliffs overlooking the sea one day, a seal colony on another and went on a dolphin watching cruise yet another day. They were tiny little adventures, safe and exciting all at once, somehow.

On Monday I walked into the kitchen to find Jeremy talking on his phone. I waved and went to the fridge, looking for some orange juice. When I picked the carton up and gave it a shake I doubted there was a full glass in there, a suspicion that was confirmed when I was staring at my half-full glass.

A second search of the fridge didn’t yield any more juice, just some milk and the lemonade that Jeremy had been drinking. I shrugged and grabbed the lemonade, using it to top up my glass before replacing it in the fridge. I knew the moment I took my first sip that I’d stumbled upon something good, and I raised the glass to Jeremy in a ‘cheers’ gesture.

“… Yeah but If you do talk to Kevin tell him I’ll give him a call tonight, I’ve already spoken to Mom… OK… thanks… love you too… bye.”

“Who’s that?” I asked.

“My sister, Anna, she’s annoyed that I called her at work. Family, eh?”

“Hmmm… not everybody can just drop everything at work for a personal call though,” I said.

“Oh sure, an accountant’s work is never done. Like I’m calling her while she’s busy on an undercover sting operation or something.” Jeremy smiled.

I chuckled. “So what’s so important that you have to risk blowing her cover?”

“It’s my birthday!” said Jeremy.

“Oh! Why didn’t you… happy birthday! How old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

“Should we celebrate or…”

“One step ahead of you there, Bea.”

“Oh?”

“Yep… but after breakfast I need you out of the house until just before lunch otherwise my plans are pretty much screwed.”

“The local brothel got an early-bird outcall special on?” I teased.

“Shut up, you. Is that OK though?”

“Um… yeah, I’ve got a book, I can kill some time easy.”

“Great, thanks,” he said.

I ate my cereal and drank my orange juice and lemonade mixture while Jeremy sat across the table with his own cereal and coffee. He looked nervous and excited all at once but wouldn’t elaborate at all on what he was planning. Instead I had to grin and bear his almost conspiratorial smile while I ate.

Still, true to my word, I was out on my own after breakfast. I decided to do some window shopping on the main street, which was somewhere we’d actually failed to explore already. After browsing in a few stores I began to look for something I could maybe give to Jeremy as a birthday present.

It was about as difficult as I feared. What do you give to a man with a ten-figure net worth that wouldn’t seem ridiculous? A souvenir post card with a kiwi on it didn’t seem very impressive, a stuffed sheep didn’t seem his style.

I managed to find some wrapping paper easily enough but it wasn’t until I walked right past a store and literally had to take a couple steps backwards before going in that I was struck by inspiration. Maybe it wasn’t the greatest gift in the world, but on such short notice I was pretty happy with it.

*****

When I returned to the house and walked in the door I almost thought the place had been ransacked, the kitchen anyway. Pots and pans, bowls, cooking utensils, basically everything that had been in a cupboard or drawer was now scattered and looked like they’d been used, maybe not for their intended functions either.

“What happened here?” I asked.

Jeremy was just closing a big basket when he heard me speak. He looked at me, then to the clock, and then back again. He looked absolutely adorable.

“I did it!”

“That’s good, owning up to whatever it is you’ve done, taking responsibility. But what is going on here?”

“I made everything for a picnic. I haven’t cooked anything more complicated than grilled cheese in a while so this is a big thing.”

“Wow… I’m actually impressed. It smells good, what is it?”

“All kinds of things, wait and see. I was thinking we could have a picnic on that peninsula walkway looking down over the water,” he said.

“Good choice! I’m game, breakfast was a long time ago.”

After all my walking around in the morning followed by another forty five minutes of walking to a nice place looking down on the ocean, I was definitely ready for lunch, a fact confirmed by my rumbling stomach. Jeremy laid the picnic blanket down in the long grass to the side of the walkway and I helped trample it down so it was somewhat flat.

We sat down and Jeremy began working at the latch to the basket, which had become tangled or stuck somehow, as I took the time to appreciate our surroundings. The ocean was a deep calm blue and aside from some rocks protruding from the surface near the shore, absolutely empty of land, boats or anything else.


I knew that somewhere under the surface those dusky dolphins that we had seen on the dolphin cruise were doing their own thing. Now they looked like an animal that had it all figured out, so playful and carefree. The way they acted it was like they didn’t have a worry in the world and they wouldn’t even be able to comprehend the concept of sadness or guilt.

The sea disappeared over the horizon and I could actually see the curvature of the earth. Somewhere, several horizons away, I knew the blamelight was still looking for me but it hadn’t found me yet and that was a good thing. A damn good thing.

“Aha!” Jeremy flipped open the basket and began pulling things out. “This is a quiche, avoid if you are allergic to broccoli or bacon.”

“Mmmm, bacon.”

“This is the vegetarian option, Greek style vegetable kebabs.”

“Interesting.”

“And, final option, chicken and salad sandwiches.”

A cool and inconstant breeze was taking the edge off the spring sunshine nicely, the distant sound of waves crashing on the rocks below added a wonderful white noise to the background. There were no signs of other people in either direction along the walkway.

Everybody else in the world might have winked out of existence at that very moment and we wouldn’t have been able to tell. It was just the handsome billionaire and I having a picnic and nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

“You shouldn’t have gone to all this trouble on your own birthday. I wish I’d have known,” I said.

“Nah, it was kinda fun. You can do the dishes when we get back if you’re really desperate.”

“Thanks. Hey… what is the date anyway?”

“October fifteenth,” said Jeremy.

“Oh. It was my birthday yesterday. I guess I’m twenty now.”

“What? What? And you’re busting my balls about not telling in advance?”

“I forgot.”

“Of course you did. Hey, do you have anybody you want to call? It’s still your birthday back home, they’d probably want to hear from you.”

“No.”

“What? You worried about the international charges? Here, use my phone, I don’t mind.”

Jeremy fished out his cell phone and held it out to me.

“No, there’s… there’s nobody to call.”

“Parents?”

I shook my head.

“Brothers? Sisters?”

“Only child.”

“Friends?”

“Think Rod Stevens would like to hear from me?”

“Oh… Bea…”

“No! Stop. Please… don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t want your… pity. I don’t want you to look at me like that.”

“How do you want me to look at you?”

A little over a week ago I wouldn’t have wanted him to look at me at all. I might have punched him if he dared look at me like I was something he could have. I might have punched myself if I had entertained the notion that being looked at by him was a good thing.

Now something was different. I wanted him to see me as the girl he could laugh with, like at our dinner in the sky tower and so many times since. I wanted to catch him looking at my body with appreciation like when he had helped me out of the swimming pool when I was wearing my bikini. I liked the way I looked when I could see myself reflected in his eyes.

But this was dangerous, unknown and, frankly, terrifying territory. This wasn’t just leaving the walls undefended. This was tearing them down and showing him that poison inside me. What would he do if he knew everything? Would he hate me, or worse, pity me even more?

On the flight over here I’d stopped him from digging into the past, from threatening the structural integrity of my walls. I’d told him not to but he had anyway, just by being himself, just by giving me the opportunity to get away from the constant attacks. Now there were cracks showing.

I looked at his hand resting on the picnic blanket, the one not holding his phone. More than anything I wanted to reach out and hold that hand, feel his strength and self-assuredness pour into me and wash that vial of poison out to sea where it would never be seen again.

My heart was racing and somehow seemed to have moved into my throat. With a force of willpower I tried to make my hand move out to grab his… but I couldn’t do it. My hand twitched and I cast my eyes down at it in disappointment.

“Can we… can we just eat?”

“OK, Bea. It’s OK, we can eat. Take your pick.”

I ended up having a little bit of everything and, especially for somebody who hadn’t cooked in a long time, it was actually pretty good. I loved how it being a picnic prepared by an amateur made it easier to forget how wealthy Jeremy was.

The food at the restaurants and the food that had been delivered to the house we were staying at were all obviously prepared by high quality and pricey chefs. That was fine, of course, Jeremy could afford it and the food was spectacular but this was better. This was all part of leaving everything behind.

With all the fancy stuff taken away, all that was left was a man and a woman sharing a meal and each other’s company. I was surprised at how easily I was able to calm down again by the time the meal was nearly finished.

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” I said and reached for my tote bag.

From inside I pulled out a little paper bag and from inside that I pulled out two cupcakes. Jeremy smiled and reached for one.

“No, wait!”

Next out of the bag was a packet of birthday candles, wrapped in plastic so tough that I eventually had to use the knife we’d previously used to cut the quiche to open the packet. The breeze may have been inconstant but it was too much for me to light a single candle in each cupcake so I gave up and threw the lighter back in the tote.

“You’ll have to imagine that the candles are lit.”

I began singing happy birthday to him while he wore an amused smile on his face, an expression that slowly turned to thoughtfulness over the course of the song.

“Now blow your candles out and make a wish so we can enjoy the birthday cake… s,” I said.

Jeremy picked one up and blew a puff of air at the fictional flame before putting it down and lifting the other one. Instead of blowing this one ‘out’ as well, he handed it to me.

“You’ve got the most amazing singing voice I’ve ever heard in real life, I’ve never heard a version of ‘happy birthday’ that my tone-deaf self or family didn’t ruin. So I won’t insult you with singing it but, like I said, it’s my birthday here, it’s your birthday back home. How about we share this one? Blow it out and make a wish.”

I took a deep breath and held it for a moment as I thought, then blew. Chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing and chocolate chips, how could you go wrong? The birthday cakes didn’t last long and Jeremy was slowly packing the leftovers and trash away when I remembered the birthday present I got for him and retrieved it from my bag.

“Ta da!” I said, handing it over.

“Oh no. Now I feel bad that I don’t have anything for you.”

“Don’t worry about it. You had even less notice than I did.”

“That’s true. Now, what could this be?”

Jeremy carefully pulled the wrapping paper off and opened the box, peering in with curiosity. He laughed and rolled on to his back, holding the box up high, before returning to a sitting position and reaching inside.

“Yes!”


Jeremy held up the roll of duct tape proudly like he was showing off a trophy to some imaginary crowd. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s just what I wanted, thanks Bea.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You know,” Jeremy set the duct tape down, “I actually do have something for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Um… close your eyes.”

I raised an eyebrow for a moment but did as he asked. With my vision cut off, I was forced to concentrate more on the other senses. The waves still crashed on the rocks far below us, the wind still swished through the long grass, and I was more a part of it than I had been before.

So was Jeremy, I could hear him taking a couple deep breaths, and I wondered what else he could possibly be pulling out of that picnic basket. With all the food he had prepared it was already a basket that Mary Poppins herself would have been proud of.

I was about to ask him what the delay was when I felt his lips against mine. An icy bucket full of surprise hit me and my eyes almost fluttered open but right after that I could feel his warmth spreading over me, calming me, and then lifting me up out of the cold with him. I didn’t know what to do for a second but when he began to pull away my own hand shot out and rested against the back of his head, keeping him close.

My eyes opened and Jeremy was right there, our noses touching lightly and his breath puffing out against my lips. I swallowed and closed my eyes again, kissing him back with everything I had. My other hand left the ground and, with nothing propping me up, I began to fall backwards, pulling Jeremy with me.

Jeremy moved over me like a protective blanket, straddling one of my legs and resting his weight on his forearms, which were planted either side of my head so he could run his fingers through my hair. His touch was everything I hoped it would be, strong and confident, and his every move was focused on me.

I hadn’t been kissed since before I stopped working at Eddie’s Diner and a boy I used to go to school with had stumbled across me there and asked me out. That had led to an awkward and brief fling that I didn’t remember overly fondly. He hadn’t kissed anything like this.

This was the kind of kiss that took my breath away, as urgent as any kiss I’d ever had but without the sensation of it being rushed. Every movement of his lips against mine felt purposeful, and I was sure he was savoring every moment just as much as I was.

Jeremy pulled back and our lips parted with a wet sound, leaving me panting hard and making my chest brush against him with every deep breath I took. I opened my eyes when his fingertips brushed my cheeks to see him looking down at me tenderly.

“There you are,” he said.

Just then I heard the sound of laughter from along the path. Craning my neck I saw a family consisting of a man, woman and two children making their way towards us. They didn’t seem to have spotted us yet.

“Get off! Get off!” I urged.

Jeremy scrambled backwards and we were entirely respectable by the time the four of them walked past us. The adults waved and gave us a friendly hello, which we returned. The kids were quiet and stayed much closer to their parents until they were a good distance away again.

I was lost in my own thoughts, thinking about the kiss and helping Jeremy pack up the remaining picnic items in a near-delirious state, giving him the shortest answers possible. That kiss… wow, that kiss.

My heart was still racing from the excitement of it but now that the moment had passed, I felt the cold finger of doubt worming its way into my thoughts. When I had agreed to come out to New Zealand, there had been precisely zero chance of anything amorous happening, I never thought I’d be in this position.

Jeremy talked about ‘playing the game’, how he read people and acted in particular ways to make them feel or do whatever it was he needed them to do. He used this in his business negotiations… but had he just, for want of a better word, ‘played’ me?

Honestly, who flies a complete stranger around the world for nothing? Had he always expected to be able to work his charms on me? I alternated between feeling like a fool and a desperate desire for all those worries to be unfounded.

I debated with myself all the way back to the house he had rented and then, despite the fact that I’d basically walked around all day already, said I wanted to go for a walk. Alone.

When I returned I didn’t really feel any closer to a resolution. Jeremy’s efforts at conversation dwindled over the course of an awkward dinner and had almost completely stopped by the time we finished eating.

I excused myself for an early night, saying I wanted to get plenty of sleep before we left early in the morning to head to a place called Wanaka. Sleep was hard to come by though.

Well before I fell asleep I heard Jeremy walking past my bedroom. The footsteps paused on the other side and I looked towards the door half-expectantly but he soon carried on walking again and I eventually fell into a shallow sleep that was disturbed by the smallest of sounds, which any normal person would usually sleep through.

A car arrived for us early the next morning and we were on the road soon after breakfast. Jeremy had tentatively tried sparking up conversation again but seemed to have given up for the moment by the time we were about half an hour into our journey, staring out the window thoughtfully.

I was still in turmoil, torn between thinking about how it had felt to have him kissing me, touching me, looking at me like that, and guilt over all the broken promises those feelings were inextricable from. Why couldn’t he just be an inconsiderate, arrogant, entitled a*shole like I thought he would be? That would have been so much simpler.

Some kind of weight seemed to be pressing on my chest the more I thought about the way Jeremy had looked at me, the way he had communicated how much he wanted me with everything he had done while we kissed. It was almost too painful to bear, the concept that I would never be looked at like that again, never be touched like that again, by him.

I looked towards Jeremy and my eyes dipped down to where his hand was lying on the seat between us. Yesterday at the picnic I had looked at that very same hand and only barely managed to stop myself from reaching out and holding it.

This time I couldn’t stop. To hell with the past, the future, and the whole world. I needed this, I needed him. After more than four years alone I needed to believe this was real, to have faith in Jeremy, or I would go crazy right there and then.

I reached out and slipped my fingers into the palm of his hand, giving it a squeeze. Jeremy turned his head towards me and his eyes flickered down before locking with mine, one eyebrow raised. I blushed and struggled to get my words out around a lump in my throat.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I don’t mean to be a…”

Selfish bitch

My mom’s words hissed out at me from the distant past and I felt that blush fade to pale as the color drained from my face and the lump in my throat grew bigger.

“I don’t mean to be like this,” I continued in a croaky voice, “It’s just... so confusing. I haven’t felt anything like that kiss in… uh… ever. I didn’t know feelings like that were even out there anymore. Can you keep being a little patient with me?”

Jeremy smiled and gave my hand a squeeze back. The surge of relief I felt almost brought me to tears but seemed to dissolve the lump in my throat at the same time. I turned away to deal with my rebellious tear ducts and looked out the window, leaving my hand in his as I watched the countryside go by.