Wildest Dreams

chapter 31

Green pine branches and red bows decorated the outside of the depot at Billings. Lettie breathed a deep sigh of joy at the sight. Home at last! How they had missed Billings, their friends and neighbors, and the Double L.

"Luke, look at the crowd!"

He leaned forward to look out the window as their train moved into the station. They had come in from Butte, and apparently everyone in Billings was aware that their new territorial legislative delegate was arriving. In spite of the bitter cold outside, it looked as though half the town was at the depot, and as soon as the Northern Pacific engine chugged to a halt, a band started playing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow."

"There's Ty and Robbie!" Lettie said excitedly, grasping Luke's hand.

"Brad and Katie, too. I can't believe they came all the way into town in this cold."

They watched the little white clouds of breath and red noses that told them winter had already settled hard into Montana again, even though there had not been much snow yet except high in the mountains. Even the train car was cold, in spite of a wood-burning stove in one corner. When they had left Butte, it had still been relatively warm for December; but when they stopped in Virginia City, they could feel the change in the weather. Temperatures had dropped dramatically in the twenty-four hours since they had come east from there.

"Katie must have left the babies home because of the cold. Oh, I can't wait to see little Paul and Rachael again. I'm so glad we've made it home in time for Christmas, Luke." Lettie turned and kissed his cheek. "And coming home a winner makes it all the better."

He squeezed her hand. "It's a good feeling. The only trouble with winning is that I'll have to go to Helena for weeks at a time now, but sometimes you'll go with me. I'm glad, though, that I'm not the delegate that has to go to Washington. That would mean being away for months instead of days or weeks. I don't think I could bear being away from the Double L that long. I miss home, Lettie."

She studied his blue eyes, glad he didn't have to go back to Helena until spring. It had been a hard campaign, not just physically but emotionally. In the spring he would help draft the petition that would be carried to Washington and presented to Congress for Montana to be allowed into the United States. They knew it wouldn't happen overnight, but they were most certainly on their way.

They got up and moved to the steps of the passenger car, and as soon as she descended, Lettie was in Katie's arms and there came a round of hugs from her daughter and son-in-law, then Tyler and Robbie. She saw a rather troubled look in Tyler's eyes, able to read him as well as she could read Luke. Something was wrong, and she prayed there had not been new losses at the Double L. She wanted so much for this to be a merry Christmas and happy homecoming.

Luke took his turn at hugging, then began shaking hands and accepting congratulations from townspeople and area businessmen. The band struck up another tune, and the crowd followed them to the family's enclosed carriage. Joe Parker was there, telling Luke to be sure to come to the next cattlemen's meeting in two weeks. Some of the women were peppering Lettie with questions about what Helena and Butte and Virginia City were like, and at the same time Robbie was excitedly telling her they had gotten a letter from Pearl. "She heard about Pa winning clear back in Chicago!" he told her.

Everything was confusion and commotion, but Tyler remained rather quiet. It seemed everyone in town wanted them to come for dinner, and Lettie turned down invitation after invitation. "We just want to stay home for a while," she explained. "We've missed the ranch and the children so much." Tyler helped Sven with the luggage, and the family climbed into the waiting carriage. Luke started inside, then hesitated, looking to his right. The crowd quieted, and Lettie leaned out to look.

"Oh, my! It's Nial Bentley," she said quietly. All the children clambered back outside, and Lettie herself slowly emerged as people backed away. Nial was walking toward Luke, wearing a forced smile. Lettie realized that everyone in town surely knew about the ugly article about Luke, and who had surely been behind it. She knew that what had bothered Luke the most was the question of his heritage. He had never had to come right out and tell anyone his own father had considered him a bastard, but she knew that the whole matter had brought back the old pain for Luke, the realization that to this day he had never heard from his father, in spite of his many letters. No one needed to know that. It was such a personal pain for Luke, and Nial Bentley had almost caused him to share it publicly.

Nial was dressed in his usual finery, top hat and all. "Luke!" he said, putting out his hand. "I just came to congratulate you. I am the humble loser, but must admit that I have every confidence Montana is in good hands." He glanced at Lettie, as though to hint that as long as Luke had her for a wife, he could manage his new duties because he would have her to help him. He looked back at Luke, who was not smiling. "Well, my friend, I am humbly offering my best wishes. Aren't you going to shake my hand and show these people how gracious you can be? After all, in politics, anything goes. Now it's over."

Before Nial realized what was coming, Luke landed a big fist into his left cheek, sending the man sprawling. A gasp went up from the crowd, and a faint smile moved across Luke's lips.

"Wow, Pa, that was some punch!" Robbie spoke up.

Lettie could not help a vague smile of her own.

Luke looked around at the others. "Folks, you have just seen my last fit of vigilante justice!"

A roar of laughter went up from the crowd, and two men dragged a mumbling Nial away. Men slapped Luke on the back, some saying he should have given Nial Bentley what for a long time ago. Lettie and the children got back into the carriage and Luke finally climbed in beside them, glad Sven had brought the enclosed buggy, even though it was smaller than their open four-seater. Everyone sitting close inside helped stave off the bitter cold outside. Lettie shivered and snuggled next to Luke, Katie on the other side of her. Across from them sat Robbie, Tyler, and Brad.

"That was great, Pa," Tyler told him. "If you hadn't hit him, I think I would have."

Luke looked down at sore knuckles. "Well, we aren't supposed to punch our way through life anymore, but I couldn't let that one go."

"I've always hated Nial," Ty answered, glancing at his mother. "We all saw that article, saw the one you answered back with, Mom. We were all really proud when we read it."

Lettie grasped Luke's hand and kissed his knuckles. "Are you all right?"

He flexed the hand. "Never felt better."

Sven, in the driver's seat outside, and bundled against the cold, whipped the two sturdy Double L horses hitched to the buggy into motion.

"How are things at the ranch?" Luke asked Ty.

Again Lettie noticed a strange expression on her son's face. "Good, Pa. No problems. Got a lot of pregnant mares, and as far as we can tell, we've got a lot of calves coming next spring, too. Most of the herd is in close, but with all the cattle you've got on order, it won't be possible next year to get them all in for the winter. I'll bet at least half the cows are carrying. We'll be up to a good fifty thousand head by next summer."

"Well, we have a signed contract with that buyer out of Chicago saying he'll take all we can send, so we can't lose. We just have to hope no catastrophe wipes them out." He grinned. "You're doing a hell of a job, Ty. It's good to know I can count on you when I have to be gone."

Tyler smiled, but he looked away, as though afraid to let them see the look in his eyes.

"Little Paul can't wait to see his grandma," Katie said, as though she felt she had to change the subject. "I left Rachael and him at the main house so they'd be there when you get home instead of having to go all the way to the KT to get them." KT was the name and the brand for Brad's sheep ranch, the initials for Katie Tillis. Brad had worked hard helping build their home and restore the burned ranch that had once belonged to Hank Kline.

Katie grasped her mother's hand. "Mama, I'm going to have another baby, around June, I think."

"Oh, Katie, that's wonderful!"

Luke glanced at Brad. "Looks like you two have stayed pretty busy," he teased.

Brad blushed and grinned. "You apparently stayed pretty busy yourself those first few years, Luke," he bantered.

They all laughed then, and it was Lettie's turn to blush. The remark made her anxious to get home to their own bed again. It had been a long time since they had slept there. She was tired of hotel rooms or being the guest in someone else's home.

"How are your school lessons coming, Robbie?" Luke asked.

"Elsie says I'm too smart for her now. She sent for more special medical books and for information about the entrance exam from the University of Michigan. She says when I turn seventeen I should be able to get in."

"Oh, I don't think I'm ready to send another child away," Lettie said, reaching over and patting his knee. "With Katie over at her own home most of the time, we'll only have our Tyler left with us." She glanced at Ty. "Thank goodness you want to stay on at the ranch," she added. "I don't know what I'd do if all my children left me."

Ty did not smile, and there followed an uncomfortable moment of silence. Lettie wasn't sure if she had said something wrong. She looked back at Robbie. "Did you say you heard from Pearl?"

"Yes. The letter's at home. She's doing real well, Mom. She said the professor says she's his most promising student in years. She sounds real happy."

Lettie breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good. Oh, I miss her so. It will seem so strange not having her here this year to play Christmas carols for us. I'm beginning to wonder when we'll ever have the whole family together at the same time again."

Ty turned to look out a window, and the others looked at each other as though to share some secret thought.

Luke frowned. "All right, all of you, what is wrong? You're leaving something out. You don't need to wait until we get home. Has something happened we don't know about?"

Tyler faced his father, then moved his gaze to his mother, taking a deep breath. "Nathan's back."

Lettie drew in her breath, feeling as though her heart had surely stopped beating.

"Nathan!" Luke exclaimed. "When? Why?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Tyler said with a hint of bitterness. "If he thinks he can just walk in after all these years and get a big piece of the pie, I don't think it's fair! I've worked hard right along side you all these years. I know how to run the Double L. I don't need him coming here and taking what's mine."

"Ty!" Lettie could hardly believe her ears. "What makes you think he could take your place, or that he would get more than his fair share? What makes you think he even wants anything from us?"

"Why else would he be here? When I ask him about it, he just says he'll talk to you and Pa, not to me." Tyler looked at his father. "You adopted him. He's been gone all these years, but he's still the firstborn son. By law he has every right to as much of the Double L as you want to give him, and I think it's damned unfair! He—"

"Now, just a minute, Ty!" Luke interrupted. "We haven't even had a chance to talk to him to find out why he's here. And give me a little credit for being a fair man. You know better than to think I'd favor one child over another, for any reason. How long has he been back?"

"Just a few days," Robbie spoke up. "He's been real quiet—stays in that little cabin Tex used to live in. He's hardly talked to anybody—just says he'll wait and talk to you and Mom. Nobody in town even knows it yet. We thought maybe we should wait till you came home to see what he wants. Maybe he won't even stay."

Lettie could not help feeling a wave of the old agony of remembering when Nathan was first torn from her arms, and how it felt when he ran away from them after they had finally found him again. How could she bear seeing him and then losing him yet again? Surely he was back to stay this time. Why else would he have come? But why? Why now? "You said... you talked to him. He speaks English now?"

Ty scowled. "Yeah, pretty well. He even dresses mostly like a white man, but his hair is still long, and he wears moccasins."

"We gave him food and some wood for the heating stove," Brad told her. "He seemed real grateful."

Lettie could not help the tears that spilled out of her eyes. She grasped Luke's hand. "He's twenty-two years old now," she said absently. Eighteen years it had been since her son was first taken from her. How could that be? Why was he here? She wiped at her eyes, glanced at Ty. "One day, when you have your own children, Ty, you will understand how I feel about this. You're all special, for so many different reasons." She looked at Robbie, Katie, back to Tyler. "You have been a loyal, hard-working, devoted son. Surely you don't think your father and I could forget that. The way Nathan was raised, I highly doubt he has much interest in the ranch. There must be some other reason he is here. Give him a chance, Ty. My being able to keep my son with me this time could depend in part on how all of you treat him. This could be the most important thing I have ever asked of any of you." She looked around at all of them again. "No matter how you feel about him now, he's still your brother. You all share the same blood through me, and no matter where Nathan has been these last years, he is still my son." She squeezed Luke's hand. "Our son. A MacBride by blood, a Fontaine by adoption, and because your father has the ability to love him just because he loves me. If he can love Nathan with no blood connection at all, surely all of you can learn to love him." She closed her eyes. "Thank God we came back when we did. He might have left again without our ever getting to see him."

"Lettie, don't get your hopes up," Luke warned. "You know what happened last time. Maybe there is just something he needs and he'll want to leave again."

Probably wants some money, Tyler thought. For his mother's sake, he would keep his opinion to himself, but he could not help believing Nathan was here for only one reason.

"Not this time," Lettie was saying. "I feel it in my heart. Nathan is here to stay."



Tyler, Robbie, Katie, and Brad all sat quietly in the parlor, watching their mother pace nervously. Luke had gone to get Nathan, and Tyler thought about how Nathan must surely be overwhelmed by the elegance of the Fontaine home, Oriental rugs, expensive vases and statues, silk-covered chairs and rich oak and mahogany furniture. He and Katie and Robbie had put up a huge Christmas tree near the window, knowing their mother liked the biggest tree they could find, wanting to surprise her with it when she and Luke got home. Did Nathan even understand what the tree was for? What did he know about their family and how they lived?

He didn't like feeling this anger, but he couldn't help it. After so many years of being the oldest brother and doing everything he could to show his father he was fit to take over the ranch he loved so much, it just didn't seem right having an older brother come along who had decided long ago he wanted nothing to do with this family. The first time he came back, he had been forced. This time he had come on his own. That could only mean he wanted to make the Double L his home, which was like making it home to an Indian, after all the heartache the Sioux had caused his parents. None of it seemed fair.

He looked up when he heard the outer door open and close, heard Luke and Nathan stomp their feet to get off the snow. He watched his mother, who stared at the parlor door as though a ghost was about to enter. The epitome of a mother's love shone in her eyes when Nathan stepped inside the room, and Tyler hated him. Nathan stared back at her silently.

"Hello, son," Lettie spoke up.

He nodded. "Mother."

Mother! At last he had called her mother. Lettie struggled against a need to run to him, embrace him, but he was a stranger, a grown man, so tall and strong and handsome! She could hardly believe this was her son. A little part of her was stunned at how much he looked like the man who had given him life. It brought back the memory of that night of horror, but she reminded herself that Nathan was innocent of that awful night. He was life, a grown-up human being who need never know the truth of his beginnings. She glanced at Katie, warning her with her eyes she must never tell. Katie only smiled through tears. She seemed to understand how she felt.

She looked back at Nathan, whose blond hair was tied into a tail at the back of his neck. He wore cotton pants and a calico shirt with knee-high winter moccasins and a doeskin vest. How strange to feel so nervous around her own son. "I... I'm so glad you came. Ever since you left eight years ago, we've been so worried, Nathan, wondering if you were all right. We were even going to try to find you this summer."

Nathan glanced at his siblings. He could not help sensing Tyler's animosity since he had arrived, understood it to some extent. Robbie and Katie had been good to him, but he knew Tyler would rather he left, and he would, if he thought he could stand living on the reservation the rest of his life. He looked back at his mother. "I was in Canada for five years after the Battle of the Greasy Grass."

"Greasy Grass?"

"The Little Big Horn," Luke explained. He walked past them to the fireplace to roll himself a cigarette from tobacco and papers he kept there.

"You were there?" Lettie asked, her eyes wide with wonder.

Lettie saw it then—a quick flash in Nathan's eyes—the Indian spirit drilled into him that brought forth a certain pride, a hatred for soldiers like George Custer.

"I was there," he answered, holding his chin proudly. "It is no use trying to explain to any white man why it happened. No white man wants to hear the Indian side of it."

"But you are white," Tyler reminded him.

Nathan met his brother's eyes, put a fist to his chest. "Not in here."

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" Tyler asked.

Lettie cast him a quick look of chastisement. "He's here because he's our son and your brother!" she snapped. "If he feels more like a Sioux, who can blame him? He was raised by them!" She looked back at Nathan. "I don't care why you're here, Nathan, or how Indian you are, or even if you have no feelings for me as a mother. It doesn't change how I feel about you. I will always love you just the same as I loved the little four-year-old boy who was stolen away from me all those years ago. Whatever the reason, I'm glad you're here, glad to be able to see you again and know you're all right." She quickly wiped at tears with her fingers. "How is it you speak English now?"

"For three years I have lived on the reservation. Missionaries were there. I learned more quickly than the others because as I took the lessons, many of the words came back to me from when I was small." He glanced at Luke, who nodded to him reassuringly, then he looked around at the others, back to his mother. "I know that my brother Tyler thinks I have come here because my white father is an important man and rich in white man's money, but I do not care about these things. I only care about my family."

"Family! Do you have children?"

"A daughter and a son. They are called Sweet Grass and Runner, but the missionaries made us give them white names. The girl is four summers. She is called Julie, after the white woman who teaches them; our son is two summers. He is named Luke, because it was the only white man's name I could think of."

Tyler's anger only increased at the news. He had always thought he would name his own first son after Luke. Now Nathan had stolen that honor from him.

Lettie looked at Luke, more tears wanting to come. "Do you hear that, Luke? We have two more grandchildren! Four grandchildren!" She looked back at Nathan. "Oh, Nathan, I'm so glad for you. Why aren't they with you? Where is your wife?"

He looked around the room, feeling out of place in the fancy home. "My wife is called Little Bird. The missionaries gave her the name of Leena. She and my children are still at the reservation at the Cheyenne River in the Dakotas. The government would not let them leave with me. Only I could leave because I am white. I need special written permission to bring them out of there, from a white man who will agree to take charge of them." His eyes began to glitter with anger. "None of you can know how bad life is on the reservation. My people are starving. They do not have enough clothes and blankets. The meat they bring us is rotten. Many drink themselves to death or shoot themselves because they cannot bear having to stay on one little piece of land taking handouts from the white man and eating rotten food. The men are forced to plow the ground like women, and the children are taken away to a special school in the East where many of them die of white man's disease or of broken hearts. The white teachers there cut their hair and make them wear white man's clothes, and they beat them for speaking in the Sioux tongue. I am sorry for my people, but the missionaries helped me understand that as one man there is little I can do. They told me that because of my white mother and father, there is a way for me to take my family out of there and have a better life, and I realized they were right. I remembered you and Luke told me that if I ever wanted to come back here, I would be welcome."

Luke stood smoking quietly by the fireplace. He watched Lettie's eyes light up with joy, and he knew what this meant to her.

"Oh, yes, Nathan! I can't think of anything more wonderful than having you and your wife and our grandchildren right here at the Double L!"

Nathan looked over at Tyler. "I am not here to take any of my father's wealth. I only want my family to be safe, to have enough to eat, to be warm in winter. I do not want to worry about the government taking my children from me." He moved his gaze back to Lettie. "I only want a place to live. I will work. I will not just sit here. I will help my father. I am good with horses, but I know nothing about what to do with cattle. I can learn."

"Of course you can learn!" Lettie broke into tears, turning away for a moment to get control of herself. Luke walked over to put an arm around her.

"There is one more thing," Nathan told them.

Lettie wiped at her eyes, and Luke held her close to his side. "What is that?" he asked.

"There is one more person I would like to bring here. She is Sioux. Her name is Morning Sun, but her white name is Ramona. She is my sister, youngest daughter of Half Nose, who died not long after I left here the first time. That is why I left sooner than I had promised. My father's brother came in the night to tell me Half Nose was very ill. I went to be with him."

A wave of emotions swept through Luke. Half Nose. He had hated the man for so many years. Now he was expected to turn around and take in the man's daughter. What an ironic twist of fate. "How old is she?" he asked.

"She will be sixteen summers when the snow is off the ground and the sun is hot again."

Katie smiled at the odd way Nathan had of expressing himself.

"Well, a lot of people aren't going to like the fact that I have Indians living here on the Double L," Luke answered, "but I've gone against the majority more than once since I came here, so I guess they'll just have to learn to live with this, too."

Lettie looked at him, realizing it was not easy for him to give shelter to Indians. They had stolen his son away. Now he would have to put up with crude remarks from others for allowing Indians to live at his ranch, but maybe most would understand, realizing what it meant to her to have her son back. "Thank you, Luke." She looked at Nathan. "When will you bring them?"

"In the summer. I will need a written letter from Luke to show to the reservation agent. As soon as the letter is ready, I will go back. The agent promised my children would not be taken away while I am gone, but I do not trust him. I am afraid for them."

"Then Luke will go into Billings and send a wire to the reservation, demanding that nothing be done until you get back. Luke is an important man, Nathan. If he tells them to keep the children there, they will do it."

Nathan met Luke's gaze. "I am grateful."

"You will at least stay with us for Christmas, won't you, Nathan?" Lettie asked. "It's only two days away. Are you... are you Christian?"

He folded his arms. "As I learned the white man's religion from the missionaries, I came to see that it is not so different from the Sioux. We all believe in a Great Being who watches us from above and listens to our prayers. Yes, I am Christian, but I am also Sioux, and there are many Indian beliefs that will never leave me."

Luke walked back to the fireplace. He took a deep drag on his cigarette, then threw it into the hearth and faced the rest of his children. "I don't know exactly how all of you feel about this, but it's my decision," he told them. "I'm letting Nathan bring his family and his step-sister here to live." He looked at Tyler. "All of you know how important this is to your mother. When I met and fell in love with her, I also loved and accepted Nathan as my own because he was her son, and I knew how much she loved him." He directed his gaze at Tyler. "For more reasons than you know, I vowed never to let Lettie's son feel any less loved or accepted than any of our own children. I will not cheat any son of mine out of what is rightfully his, but I will be fair about who has earned the right to this ranch and take into consideration whether or not each child even wants a part of this ranch. Tyler, we all know who has earned that right more than any other. You ought to trust me enough to know I would never take anything from you that you honestly deserve, nor could any other child change the way I feel about you or how proud I am of you or the special relationship we've always had."

He looked at Robbie. "That doesn't mean Tyler is any more special than you, Robbie, or Katie or Pearl, and Nathan isn't any more special just because he's the long-lost son. You're all my children, all loved the same."

"Pa, none of us expects... I mean, I hope you don't think we're greedy or sitting around waiting for an inheritance," Katie spoke up.

Luke sighed. "I know that. I'm just saying that this family has always been close, and I don't want Nathan's arrival to bring on any unwarranted hard feelings or worries that somehow he's going to take anyone's place. Tyler, you're in charge of the Double L now when I'm gone, and that won't change. I want you to help Nathan learn the ropes. With having to travel more, I won't have time for it. You heard Nathan's reasons for wanting to be here, and it has nothing to do with money. His children are Lettie's and my grandchildren, your niece and nephew. I will not let them go hungry or be taken away to some damn school back East where they get a beating just for being themselves, nor will I allow them to be abused or treated rudely while living here. Is that understood?"

"Of course it is, Pa," Katie answered.

Luke watched Tyler. He knew his son was good-hearted and understood the importance of family, but he could also see that he still felt somehow pushed out of place. "Above ail else, we're all Fontaines. We're family, and we'll support each other and help each other and defend each other." He looked over at Nathan. "The same goes for you, Nathan, once you come back here. I understand that you feel more like a Sioux, that you consider them your family. But the fact remains that we are your family. I don't want you treating your brothers and sisters or your mother as though they are some kind of hated enemy."

Nathan nodded, glancing at Tyler again. "I am a Fontaine." He looked at Luke then. "But I will always have a place in my heart for the people who raised me. It was wrong for them to steal me away. I know this. But Half Nose was good to me. I thought of him as my father for many years, and I wept when he died." He looked at Lettie. "My Indian mother is also dead, from white man's disease. There is only Ramona."

"You'll stay until Christmas then?" she asked.

He nodded. "I will stay."

Lettie approached him hesitantly, her mind reeling with memories and the shock of realizing how fast the years had gone by after all. "All those lost years," she said quietly, studying her son lovingly.

Nathan could not help feeling affection for her. He had never forgotten how she had looked at him when he was there eight years ago. Such love he had never seen in anyone's eyes, except perhaps in Leena's; but that was a different kind of love, one of desire for her husband. The look in his mother's eyes was one of anguish and terrible longing.

Tyler rose. "I have some saddles to wax and bridles to repair." He walked toward Nathan. "Come on out to the barn," he said rather sullenly. "You want to learn the ropes. Might as well start now." He walked out, and Nathan glanced at Luke.

"He'll get used to it," Luke told him.

Nathan turned and walked out to pull on his wolfskin coat and a beaver hat, then hurried out the door, and Lettie broke into tears. "He's come home, Luke. Nathan is home." Luke walked over and put his arms around her. "With Elsie and Peter living in our old log house, we'll have to build Nathan a cabin for his family," she told Luke through tears.

"I already thought about that," Luke answered. "I'll have the men get started on it right away."

Outside Nathan ran to catch up with Tyler, who said nothing until they got inside the barn. He turned to face Nathan then, a glint of warning in his deep blue eyes. "I'm doing this for Pa, because I love him more than anything on this earth. Don't you ever hurt him or my mother, you understand? You hurt them enough when you left last time. You'd better appreciate what good people they are, and you'd better remember that I am Luke Fontaine's firstborn —by blood! Nobody else could ever be as close to my pa as I am.

Nathan shook his head, smiling sadly. "I do not expect to take your place in Luke's heart, Tyler. I have not come here to take anything that is yours. I do not even care if you hate me. I only want a place for my family to live and be safe and have full bellies."

Tyler scowled. "We'll see about that after you're here awhile." He opened a can of hard wax and handed it to Nathan, then pointed to a saddle that hung over a sawhorse. He slapped a rag into his hand. "Here. Put some of that stuff on the rag and rub it over the saddle. Wait a few minutes, then wipe the saddle off with a dry towel."

Nathan shrugged and got to work. "We use bear grease."

"What?" Tyler took down a bridle and looked at him with a frown.

"Bear grease. It works about the same. Did you think the Indian does not understand about taking care of leather?"

Tyler blinked. "I never thought about it."

Nathan grinned. "We do not use such big saddles, though. Ours are small and light. A horse can run faster and longer if it does not carry so much weight."

"Yeah, well, from now on you'll be using a regular western saddle, so get used to it. You're supposed to start thinking like a white man."

"Maybe the white man can learn something from the Indian. Did you ever think of that?"

"No. There isn't anything I want or need to learn from any Indian. All I know is they caused a lot of people a lot of trouble and heartache here in Montana. I'm glad they're on reservations where they belong."

Nathan rubbed vigorously at the saddle. "And you do not think the white man has caused the same heartache for the Indian? Whose land was this before the white man came along?"

Tyler studied a tear in the bridle, hating this intruding brother for making sense. "The Indians', I suppose."

"Right. And for every white man or woman killed by the Sioux, the Sioux lost ten times that from being killed by soldiers, women raped, little babies murdered, families torn apart. Sometimes hundreds would die at one time from white man's diseases. You do not have to tell me about troubles for the white man, Tyler. You have no idea what the Indian has suffered. Everything has been taken from us. Everything. Even our pride."

"You're ready enough to be white yourself when it's convenient for you," Tyler said grudgingly.

"I do not come here as white. I come here as an Indian on the inside, a man who happens to have white parents who can help his family."

"You aren't supposed to think of yourself as one of them anymore. If you're going to come here to live, then you're a Fontaine now."

Nathan kept working. "What is it you fear, Tyler? Your father's love for you will never change. He is a good and fair man, and I can tell that you love him as much as any son can love a father. My presence will not change any of that."

"I also love the Double L," Tyler answered. "My brother and two sisters don't want anything to do with running this ranch, so it's up to me. Nobody is going to take that from me."

Nathan shook his head. "I do not want to take that from you, but you do not believe that right now. Someday you will understand."

Tyler did not answer. He tried cutting the bridle strap off so he could replace it, but the knife he had picked up from a bench to use was too dull. He sliced vigorously, angrily, then realized Nathan was standing beside him. He handed out a pocket knife.

"Here. I have kept it sharpened. It works well." He opened it. "Luke gave it to me the last time I was here, as a gift. Now I give it to you."

Tyler frowned as he sliced easily through the strap. He closed the knife and handed it back, feeling a hot jealousy that Luke had given Nathan the knife. "I don't want it," he said quietly. "Pa gave it to you. You keep it."