Chapter 17
Several years ago . . .
Alice Hammond knew.
She knew the prophet was not pleased with her husband.
And she knew why.
Her eldest son, Porter.
Alice was the second wife of Ron Hammond, and her firstborn son had always stood out in their family. Her two sister wives had no trouble reminding her each time he spoke his mind, broke a rule despite being punished many times before, or was caught speaking to a girl in the compound.
He was trouble. Always had been.
And now his behavior was threatening her husband’s place in the priesthood. And not just from one transgression. Everyone knew that God’s revelations weren’t solely based on single incidents, but on the ramifications of repeated behavior. And Porter’s behavior had been insubordinate for years. But he’d crossed the line when they found him in the woods engaging in completely outlandish behavior, drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana.
Ron had returned home after a lengthy meeting with the prophet. Exhaustion filled his expression when he asked Alice to join him for prayer. Together, they prayed to Heavenly Father, pledging their devotion to the prophet and to the Lord above. It was during this prayer that Ron shared the prophet’s revelation with Alice.
“Porter must leave our home. Our community. The prophet received a revelation from our Lord.” His face was stern, and the harsh tone of his voice told Alice this was not up for discussion.
Rather than argue with her husband, she simply said, “Please tell me more, husband.”
He nodded, accepting her compliance. “If Porter does not leave, you and the children will be reassigned to a community in Texas. We will never see one another again. Not only would I lose you, but I would never be able to take on another. I would have two wives . . . for the rest of my days. And I will no longer, and may never, have a secure place in the celestial kingdom.
Alice gasped; this was her greatest nightmare. Ron was an exemplary member of their community, an elder of the church and a respected member of the priesthood. She couldn’t allow this to happen.
Texas? She’d never been outside Colorado City, and the idea of being relocated to a different state, to a different home with a different man, terrified her.
No, the answer was simple. Ron was right. They had to listen to the prophet, for his message was straight from the Heavenly Father himself.
“When?” Her question was simple, but her husband understood her perfectly.
“Tonight.”
She gasped and pinched her eyes shut as the realization slammed into her. Tomorrow morning, Porter wouldn’t be present at the breakfast table. He wouldn’t join his father at the construction site in town. He’d be gone, and she’d be forced to remove his pictures from their home. Group photos would be altered, ink scribbled across his face to erase his presence in the family.
It was required of her, and she knew it.
She had to be brave and listen to the prophet, and to her husband to whom she had devoted her life.
“May I go with you?”
Ron nodded. “The prophet revealed that you should be the one.”
“I don’t understand.” Alice shook her head as tears pricked at her eyes.
“Porter and I have a history of arguments; he won’t listen to me. But you, he is loyal to you and will go with you. It’s easier this way, my dear.”
Of everything her husband had shared with her on this cold winter’s evening, the realization that she was to be the one to send her firstborn child into exile was almost more than she could handle. But handle it she would. It was her obligation, her duty, her role in securing her husband’s place in the celestial kingdom.
This moment would define her—the moment she was tested by the Heavenly Father. And the day she succeeded by doing exactly what was expected of her.
When Ron dismissed her from the conversation, placing a hundred dollar bill and a folded piece of notebook paper in the palm of her hand, she made her way to the hallway closet. Standing on her tiptoes, she reached for a simple suitcase Ron had used for the occasional business trip for his construction business. Without a word, she entered Porter’s bedroom and gathered several outfits from his closet, two pairs of shoes, and his toiletries, enough to last him through the end of the week.
It was then that she summoned him from the common area where he was cleaning the tables with his younger brothers. Her eyes welled up with tears when she saw him, knowing that this would be the last time he saw his siblings.
“Porter.”
He placed the sponge on the table in front of him and stood tall. “Yes, Mother.”
“I need your assistance with something. Please drive me to town.”
“Tonight?”
“Yes. Your father has requested that I visit the pharmacy. But I need you to drive me. It’s too cold to walk this evening.”
She knew he’d be more than pleased to drive her into town. It beat washing tables splashed with applesauce and milk from his twenty-two siblings, many of them under the age of five. Besides, he hadn’t driven his father’s truck at all that week, and she knew he welcomed any chance he had to leave the compound.
Porter had always been curious about the outside world. Perhaps, Alice thought, that was the reason for his troublesome personality. When his cousin Charlie had left the compound two years prior, Porter had asked about him incessantly. Alice had repeatedly tried to explain that Charlie was dead to the church and to his family. He would burn in hell for choosing to join the outside world filled with demons, temptations, and countless people devoured by sin.
Alice told herself that Porter would want this, that she was delivering him to where he was meant to be. But her heart warred with her brain.
Despite his persistence regarding the fate of his cousin, and the trouble he caused his father, perhaps he would be eager to repent if given the chance. But that was not to be, and she needed to accept the will of the prophet and Heavenly Father. They knew best. She was just a woman overcome with her emotions, emotions she needed to learn to control.
“Turn here,” Alice said, two blocks before the pharmacy. “Stop at this coffee shop.”
“Mother, you don’t drink—”
“Do as you’re told,” she snapped, clenching her teeth.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Porter placed the gearshift into park and sat back in his seat, looking to Alice for direction. The coffee shop was still open, but Alice imagined it would be closing soon. When her fingers gripped the door handle, Porter’s expression changed and he swallowed hard. She knew he’d figured it out. He knew that she had no intention of buying anything from the shop.
“Mother?” he whispered, and his voice cracked.
She turned her gaze to meet his, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her hands trembling, she placed two items in the palm of his hand. His chest heaved as he opened the envelope filled with cash. Alice knew it was more money than Porter had ever seen in his life. She only hoped he’d find a way to make it last.
“Your cousin lives above this shop. Your father is certain he will allow you to stay with him until you find a place of your own. You’ll be seventeen next month—it’s time for you to be an adult.”
“Father never said good-bye,” Porter croaked. “And I’m not going to see him again, am I?”
She shook her head, again closing her eyes.
“And this?” he asked, opening the notebook paper.
“The address of a construction company just outside of Colorado City. You can apply for a job. Your father said they’ll be expecting you.”
“So this is it?” Porter asked, turning to stare out the front windshield of the truck.
Alice knew it was time for him to go, to leave the only life he’d ever known. To say good-bye to her for the last time. And it broke her heart.
Pulling herself together, she steeled her spine and said calmly, “I placed a suitcase in the bed of the truck. It has everything you need for the next few weeks, until you’re able to begin working and earning money of your own.”
“I see,” Porter said, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.
For a moment, Alice worried that he might strike her in anger, take the truck, and leave her by the side of the road. But she pushed her nerves aside and delivered the words of the prophet.
“This is how it must be. It was a revelation from the Lord himself. Our way is not meant for you, Porter. You’re meant to be . . . well, you’re meant to be here.”
“I’m meant to be damned?” Porter asked, glaring at her.
She bit her bottom lip and nodded. Porter’s nostrils flared as he ripped off his seat belt and flung open the driver’s side door.
In her side mirror, Alice watched as Porter reached for the suitcase, pulling it from the bed of the truck. She followed his movements as he walked to the sidewalk, looking back at the truck with such a helpless expression that her heart lurched painfully.
Alice couldn’t take the emotions building inside her. She had to leave before she changed her mind. She slid across from the passenger side to the driver’s side, then buckled her seat belt and adjusted the mirror. Without a glance in her son’s direction, she put the truck into gear and drove away.
She prayed as she drove back to her home, knowing that she had secured her husband’s place in heaven.