“I was jealous you could see him and I couldn’t. And I was envious the two of you spent so much time together. I was a clusterfuck of emotions all the way around.” Her brows narrow as she listens to me. “Charlotte . . . since the day he died, all I’ve felt is guilt. It’s suffocated me. He was the good one, the brave one that died in war. If one of us were going to go, it should’ve been me, Charlotte. When I found out you could see him . . . communicate with him . . . that he was still here, I don’t know, it just reinforced all of those feelings. He should be the one here, not me. And to top it off, because I couldn’t get my shit together, he’d been stuck here.”
“George . . .” She says my name quietly. “I miss Ike,” she whispers, and her eyes close briefly, the pain in her heart evident. “And I’ll miss him every day of my life, but I would never trade you for him. Ike was all of those wonderful things you just said, but you’re selling yourself short.” She steps toward me, her gray eyes gazing upon me softly. “You are such an amazing brother and person; he couldn’t leave you behind until he knew you’d pull through. George, his love for you saved us both. Don’t you see how beautiful that is?”
My chest tightens and dread runs through me. I hate the thought of her trying to kill herself. I don’t like when she brings it up. Where the hell would I be without her? I swallow hard as I shake my head. “I just didn’t think I deserved you . . .”
“And now?”
I run a wide palm down my face and exhale loudly. “Now . . . well, now I hope I was wrong. Now I realize all I did was hurt you, myself, and even Ike.” Her understanding gaze tilts my world on its axis. All I want is to bury my face into her neck and brush my lips across her smooth skin. Stepping toward her, I seize her face in my hands and stare deeply into her eyes. “So to answer your question, I do believe you, and I believe in you. And no matter how intense your gift may make life sometimes, I want to be a part of it. Charlotte . . . I want you. All of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I love you.”
And now, all I want is to get lost in her. Lifting her, she squeaks in surprise as I set her on the kitchen island. No more words are needed as her lips meet mine. Biting back a growl, I settle closer between her legs. I know I should slow down, but I can’t help it. She’s driving me out of my mind, and I wouldn’t want it any other fucking way. If she keeps making all those little noises, I’m going to lose all self-control. I hold on to her delicate hips, craving the warmth of her body. “Baby,” I breathe against her lips. “Do you know how much I love you?”
Her body trembles beneath my touch and I want to devour every inch of her. “Mmm-hmm,” she moans in reply. And she brings her lips back to mine. Her kiss says everything I’ve been hoping to hear. It says she wants me as much as I want her . . . that she’s mine.
I reach around her and firmly take hold of her bottom. “Wrap your legs around me, Charlotte,” I whisper against her neck. Immediately doing as I asked, our bodies meld together in want and need.
Tangling my fingers in her hair, I bring her head back and kiss my way down to her jaw, and then her shoulder. When I bite softly across her flesh, she squirms against me.
“George, please,” she whimpers, her tone begging. I bring my mouth over hers, needing to taste her. She suckles my tongue, and I let out a groan, sucking her bottom lip between my teeth.
“Are you ready?” I pant, and she nods, her desire prevalent in her eyes. I walk us back to my bedroom, her chest pressed eagerly against mine the entire way.
Making love to Charlotte, her giving herself to me like she’s never given herself to anyone is the most beautiful gift I’ll ever receive. We spend hours exploring each other, tasting the other, and now, I lie awake as she rests peacefully curled up beside me.
I’m mesmerized by her beautiful soul, and I’m losing what little control I have left. She’s a part of me now. Since the day we found out Ike died, I’ve felt adrift; like I was simply floating through life, unable to anchor myself. But here, right now, with Charlotte in my arms, I feel grounded. There will always be a part of me that feels empty. Ike was my twin, and his absence is palpable. I feel it with every breath I take. But I know now I can survive it. And instead of letting the memory of him and the loss of him hinder me, I’ll let it strengthen me. My brother saved me. My brother gave me her; the woman he loved.
She’s never told me what went on between them, the feelings they shared for one another, but I know deep down they loved each other. The way she speaks about him tells me so. And if I’m honest, I’m a little jealous of that, but I know she loves me too. And if she were to share her heart with another man, my brother is the first and only man I’d allow.
After all the grief and pain I’ve caused her, she’s still here.
And she wants me.
“She loves me, Ike,” I murmur. I stare at her slumbering form and smile. I’m so damn happy. There are questions I want to ask, things I want to know about their time together, but I won’t. All that matters is she’s here in my arms and she loves me.
“I’ll love her for both of us, Ike,” I whisper.
Pressing a soft kiss on her forehead, I take in her sweet scent. Inhaling the soft fragrance of perfume, I let out a sigh of contentment. She is my forever. And I close my eyes with a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a long time.
“They’ll be here in five minutes,” George calls from our bedroom where he’s dressing.