Later that day, Sniper shows up and holds me as I sob. I’m a wicked mess, but he doesn’t mention it. He simply tells me Ike would want me to be happy, and I know he’s right.
When he finally stands to leave, he says, “I’m not sure if this is the best timing or not, but George asked me to give this to you.” He lays an envelope on the bed beside where I’m sitting. I don’t remember saying good-bye to him or him leaving, but when I look up, Sniper is gone. It must be a good-bye letter from George is all I can think. Maybe it was too hard for him to face me. Maybe he’s worried I’ll go crazy if he says it to my face. I’m not sure what he has to say to me, but I hope he’s at least kind. My feelings for him haven’t changed, and if his letter is a full rejection, I fear I won’t be able to handle it.
It’s an hour or so before I can bring myself to open the letter. The envelope is thick and I can tell there’s more inside of it than just a letter. My hands are trembling as I tear the envelope open and see what’s inside. In addition to the letter are dog tags. Something feels as if it’s lodged in my throat as I gently pull out the chain with the two small tags attached.
Clutching the tags to my chest, I fall back on my bed and wail. I’ll never forget the sound of his tags jingling under his shirt as he moved around. Is George giving these to me? I weep for what seems an endless amount of time before I’m able to sit up again. Finally, I manage to unfold the piece of paper that was also in the envelope, and hold my breath, bracing myself for the worst.
Dear Charlotte,
Forgive me for writing you this letter instead of talking to you face-to-face, but to be honest, I’m not exactly proud of how I’ve behaved around you the last few times we’ve seen each other. I told you the man you met when you first came here isn’t really me. And that’s true. The real me isn’t the kind of man to get hooked on drugs and sleep with loose women, and I hate that that’s your first impression of me.
I also told you I want to be the kind of man you deserve and is worthy of your high opinion. That’s also true. But telling you who I really am and showing you are very different things. So I’m going to rehab, Charlotte. I’m going to get clean and get my head straight. I know I haven’t given you much reason to have faith in me, but I hope you’ll wait for me. I hope you’ll stay and give me the chance to prove myself to you.
If not, I understand. I’ve given you plenty of reasons to leave. But know this, Charlotte . . . When you told me you loved me the other night, something changed inside me. You marked me, and I’ll never be able to let that go or forget it. Please know I’ll do anything to be deserving of that love if you’ll give me the chance.
I’ll be back in thirty days. You still have a job, too. I’ve worked it out with Sniper. Please be safe and no matter what you decide, Charlotte, please be happy.
Enclosed you’ll find Ike’s dog tags. Since you gave me something treasured from your brother, it’s only fair I do the same. I know he would’ve wanted you to have them.
~George
Returning the letter to its envelope, I lie back down and cry.