When Love's Gone Country

Chapter Seven



“Are you okay?” Meg asked.

“I’m fine,” Jacob said.

“What possessed you to do that? What if that vine couldn’t hold your weight? What if it wasn’t long enough to carry you over the river? What if—”

“What if you stop hovering and worrying for five f*cking minutes.”

“Jacob! We did not raise you to use language like that.”

“You didn’t raise me at all. You borrowed me. You paid for me. But you don’t own me, or Jeremy.”

“Wait a minute, where is all this coming from?”

“Forget about it. Just know this, when I’m eighteen, I’m moving out. No one is going to tell me what to do ever again.” Jacob headed farther down the trail, then stopped and sat on a downed tree.

Jeremy chewed on his bottom lip as he watched everyone closely. He joined his brother on the log. “You okay?”

“No. Nobody can own anybody else. Remember that. You’re your own person. You can make your own choices.”

“I do pretty much. So do you.”

“Except when I really want to do something.”

“Like swinging on the vine?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t hurtin’ anyone. But they still made me stop.”

“Mom was scared you were gonna fall. Me, too. I don’t know what I’d do if somethin’ happened to you.”

“I’m not going to be around forever, Jeremy. You’ve got to learn to take care of yourself.”

“Are you gonna leave me?”

Jacob looked into his brother’s solemn eyes. “Not anytime soon. But when I’m older, I’m leaving. No one is gonna tell me what to do anymore. I’m sick of it.”

“Will you take me with you when you go?”

“Not this time. I love you, you know that, but I can’t do this anymore. I feel like I’m going to explode one of these days.”

“You could talk to someone.”

“I’ve talked ‘til I’m blue in the face.”

“Not the real stuff.”

“Whose side are you on?”

“Yours. I’ve always been on your side.” Jeremy was quiet. He could hear the faint rumbling of conversation between the adults. Jacob was right about one thing, they were probably deciding what kind of punishment he was going to get. Meg and Bobby had been fair about everything as far as he could tell, but Jacob hadn’t told the whole truth of what it was like with their biological parents.

It had been much worse than he let on.

“You do what you gotta do. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. I’ve been watchin’ you do it for years. You’re a good teacher. Just… could you not forget about me? It’s okay if I don’t see you for a while, but I wouldn’t want to never see you again.”

Jacob swallowed the hard lump in his throat. “That’ll never happen. We’re blood. I’ll always find a way to see you. I promise.”

“Don’t make a promise you don’t plan on keepin’.”

“I promise.”

The sound of footsteps made the boys look up.

“We’re not going to continue exploring. I don’t feel comfortable having either of you boys out of my sight right now,” Meg said.

“You’ll be riding with us the rest of the way to the Double Y Ranch,” Bobby said.

“We wanted to ride with Diego,” Jeremy said.

“That was a privilege,” Bobby said. “You get privileges when you’ve earned them through your behavior.”

“But I didn’t do anything, why are you punishing me?”

“It will be a good time for us all to talk,” Meg said.

“There’s nothin’ to talk about,” Jacob said.

“That’s what we need to talk about,” Bob said. “Come on, we’re heading back to the lodge.”

The boys stood up and began retracing their steps.

“I hate being a parent,” Meg said.

“Now you tell me,” Purity said, placing her arm around Meg.

“He’s so angry.”

“He got the worst of it,” Courtney said. “Not only that, he had to protect Jeremy, too. Can you imagine? He never even really had a childhood. They stole it from him.”

“They’re still stealing it from him, from both of them,” Bob said.

“We’ve got to find a way to stop the stranglehold Paul and Amanda Reese have over the boys,” Meg said. Tears burned at the corners of her eyes. “We’re letting them down. We promised to take care of them. I can’t stand feeling so distant from my son. He’s just a boy. He doesn’t deserve any of this.”

Bobby encircled Meg with his arms. “We’ll find a way.”

“We all will,” Purity said.

“It’s like that story about the kid and the alligator,” Court said.

“What?” Alex asked as everyone stared at Courtney.

“You know, the story about the alligator that snapped its jaws on that kids’ arms? The mom was nearby and she grabbed a hold with all her strength and might and ferocity of love to save her child.

Eventually the alligator let go. The mother never did. The boy had to have surgery, but was okay in the end. He had huge scars on his arms.”

“Because of the alligator’s teeth,” Brad said.

“No, because of the mother’s grip.”

“Are you guys comin’ or what?” Jacob asked, tapping his foot impatiently against the ground.

“We’re coming,” Alex said.

“We’re gonna give him scars,” Courtney said. “Ferocity of love scars. No one will ever take those boys away from us.”

“Scars,” Meg repeated.

“A butt load of scars!” Bob said.

Meg smiled through her tears. “We’ll scar ‘em for life so they can never say they weren’t loved.”

“That’s the spirit,” Purity said.

“It’ll be like branding,” Courtney said. “Hey, we could all get tattoos that—”

“Let’s get on the road before Court gets out her cattle prod,” Brad said, taking her hand and leading her toward the boys.

“I was talking.”

“You’re always talking.”

“Point taken.”

When they reached the boys, they all fell in step with one another.

“You mad at me, too?” Jeremy asked.

“I’m not mad at anyone.” Courtney said. “There’s something you guys need to understand. We love you. There’s nothing you can do to make us not love you. Swinging on vines, running away, spilling paint… none of that matters, not in the long run. Family is what matters. Commitment. We all promised to love you and care for you and be your family. You may not want to be part of our family, but we want you to be.

You scared me, Jacob. I was afraid something had happened to you. I don’t get all weepy like Meg, but my insides were crashing like waves on the shore when we couldn’t find you. My mind went to worst case scenarios: you’d fallen in the river and were drowning, that old man we met was really some kind of psycho and he had nabbed you, there was some animal trap that you’d gotten hung up in and you couldn’t yell for help.

Yes, I know, my imagination runs wild. When I heard your voice, I physically relaxed because I knew you were okay and nearby. Then you were flying by over my head and I got all worked up again.

There’s no one I love more than my family and there’s no one I would miss more than my family if they were gone.

This isn’t a guilt thing. It’s me telling you how I feel. I love you. And, I love you, Jeremy. My life would not be the same without you boys. You saved my creative soul. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that. I haven’t.

Meg didn’t do it. Purity didn’t do it. They’re my very best friends. It would make sense that they would be the ones who could help me most, but it was you two. You make my life better simply by being who you are. I’m selfish. I don’t want that to ever change.”

“I love you, too,” Jeremy said.

An awkward silence spun circles around them as they walked back to Moon Spirit Lodge. Jacob never said a word.

Scars, Courtney thought to herself. She may be giving them to herself, but she didn’t care. Jacob was going to hear how much she loved him until he was sick to death of it. She’d give him ferocity of love scars, whether he liked it or not.