Twelve
“You can do this, baby girl.”
Tessa stared down at her father, who patted her leg. The Arkansas Derby was about to start, and this intensity just beforehand was the moment she loved. That feeling before every race. The thrill of nerves swirling through her belly, the cheering crowd, the anticipation of thundering hooves against the hard dirt.
God, she loved her job.
“This is a cakewalk for you, Tess,” her sister said. “You ready?”
Tessa nodded. “Let’s do this.”
Cassie led Don Pedro, and Damon walked by her side. Tessa knew Grant was around, but thankfully, he’d made himself scarce since the incident in the guesthouse a few days ago.
Perhaps he’d decided she wasn’t worth the trouble. If that was the case, fine. At least she knew up front and not after her heart got too involved. But she had a feeling he was giving her room to come to grips with what had happened...or he was battling his own issues. Either way, Tessa was pleased with the space he’d given her.
The sun was bright in the sky, promising a beautiful day, and Tessa couldn’t wait to celebrate. That attitude wasn’t cocky, just positive thinking, which she’d learned to do long ago in this business.
A trail of riders made their way to the starting gate. A variety of colors from the jockeys’ shirts and horse blankets added another layer of beauty to the sport. There wasn’t one aspect of racing that Tessa didn’t love, didn’t embrace.
Her own light blue shirt with a bright green star and a diagonal white stripe across her torso and one sleeve had been her mother’s design, and Tessa wore the jersey proudly with each race, feeling as if her mother was right there with her every time.
Once she and Don Pedro were in position, Damon and Cassie left her and Tessa took in a deep breath. All the training, all the countless hours always came down to just a few precious minutes.
She leaned down, patting her Thoroughbred’s neck, and whispered, “We’ve got this, don’t we, Don Pedro?”
In no time the signal was issued and Tessa readied herself for the gate to move, allowing her the freedom she needed to take a qualifying position.
Adrenaline pumped through her veins, and she gripped the reins, ready to take the first step in making her mark as another Barrington champion.
* * *
Grant couldn’t help but cheer when the official results came in and Tessa qualified. She not only qualified, she came in first. Damn, but she was impressive to watch on that track.
He’d never been so nervous in all his life as he was in those moments before the gate lifted. Now he wanted to go to her, wanted to congratulate her. But he wouldn’t be able to resist hugging her, kissing her.
He had to keep himself in check, though. Congratulations were one thing, but anything else in public could cost him everything.
Grant made his way to the stable, only to find Tessa surrounded by reporters and family. Slipping out his notepad and pen, he started scribbling. He’d been taking notes the entire day, on everything from the camaraderie of the jockeys to the excitement in the stands.
Tessa pulled off her matching blue helmet and wiped her forehead as she smiled for one of the cameras. She was stunning. Her beauty radiated through her smile, and her love of the horses, of the sport, came shining through in ways words never could express.
Grant moved away, knowing anything he wanted to say to Tessa could wait until they were alone. As he turned to make his way back through the crowd, his phone rang.
Moving over to the far side, where there was less commotion, or as little as he could get, considering he was near the grandstands, he pulled his cell from his dress pants and glanced at the caller ID before answering.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Grant,” his father’s voice boomed. “Haven’t heard from you for a few weeks. How are things going?”
“Really well.” He continued to move away from the crowd, heading toward the end of the stands. “I’m actually at a race right now.”
“Oh, damn. I’m sorry, son. I never know when it’s a good time to call.”
“No problem. If I can’t talk, I just won’t answer. Is everything okay?”
“Fine.” His father sighed. “To be honest, your mother is worried about you.”
Grant turned his back to the sun and slid his free hand into his pants pocket. “Dad—”
“Now just listen,” he interrupted. “I know you’re going to say you’re fine. I know you’ll tell me there’s nothing to worry about, but that’s why I’m calling and not your mother. I’ll tell her anything to give her peace of mind, but I want you to be truthful with me. Is this project harder than you thought?”
“The film itself won’t start for another two weeks, so it’s been pretty easy so far.”
“You know I’m not talking about the actual film, son. How are you holding up working around the horses?”
Yeah, unfortunately Grant knew exactly what his father had been referring to, but he’d tried to dodge it...just as he’d been dodging this topic for years.
“Honestly, it’s hard, but not unbearable.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to stick it out?”
For the chance at starting his own production company? Hell yeah, he’d stick it out. Besides, this was the biggest film he’d ever worked on, and there was no way he’d let some minor insecurity form a roadblock on his path to being even more successful.
He’d originally taken on this film because so many key players were involved, and he wanted every layer of career achievement possible.
But he hadn’t planned on Tessa. Hadn’t expected to be blindsided by a feisty, yet innocent vixen who made him face his fears...and his feelings.
“I’ll be fine,” he told his dad. “So now you can tell Mom I am doing great and you won’t be lying.”
“When do you think we’ll be able to see you?”
Grant smiled at an elderly couple that walked by. “I’m not sure. I’ll be on location for a couple of months at least. I may be able to take a brief break right after that.”
“Well, there’s another reason for my call.”
Grant knew it. He’d been waiting on this “other reason.” Spotting a bench along a stone retaining wall, he made his way over and took a seat. He had a sinking feeling he’d need to be sitting when his father asked the next question.
“Since you’re moving on and making progress,” his dad continued, “your mother and I would like it if you would come visit when you’re done filming. Melanie would like to see you.”
Grant closed his eyes, waiting for that stab of guilt and angst that always accompanied his sister’s name. He knew Melanie had asked to see him over the years, but he just couldn’t. And he wouldn’t put her through trying to be kind to him. How the hell could she even stand to say his name, let alone be in the same room with him? He’d nearly killed her...and from the way she was living, he might as well have. He’d murdered her dreams, her promising future.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dad.”
His father sighed. “You can’t avoid her forever, and you can’t avoid the issue.”
Oh, he could, and he had been for several years. Grant believed he was doing the best thing, letting his sister live without seeing him and being reminded of how he’d stolen the life she’d so loved.
In all honesty he wanted to see her. As twins, they shared a special bond. But he worried that she’d only be reminded of how he’d physically destroyed her.
Even though he hadn’t seen her, he always asked about her, and never missed sending her a Christmas or birthday present.
Wow. What a coward’s way out.
But in some ironic, twisted way, he was making this film as a tribute to her. A small gesture, considering, but he couldn’t turn back time and reverse the damage he’d done.
“When I’m done filming, I’ll fly you and Mom out to see me,” he offered.
“We always come to you,” his father said. “And not that we don’t love seeing where you live and work, but you need to come home, son. It’s been long enough.”
No, it hadn’t. Because Grant knew if he went back home and saw the stables, saw the old farmhouse, saw Melanie, he’d be imprisoned by that damn nightmare he’d worked like hell to stay out of.
He’d actually hoped taking on this film would help him conquer those demons once and for all. Conquer them so much that he could return home on his own terms, without the begging and pleading from his parents.
“Listen, Dad, I’ll call you in a few days. Tell Mom I’m fine and I’d love to see you in L.A. when I’m done filming.”
He extended his love and disconnected before his father’s stern tone could kick in. Even though Grant was an adult, he still respected his parents and didn’t want to disappoint them, but he couldn’t go home.
It had taken him a good amount of time to be able to face even them, let alone his twin sister.
He’d left home only months after the accident and hadn’t looked back since. He’d needed the polar opposite of that small farm community he’d grown up in. L.A. was as far away and as opposite as he could get.
So, no, when this film wrapped up, he would not be returning to Kentucky to his hometown.
* * *
Late that evening, when Grant knew everyone was either asleep or in for the night, he sneaked down the hall of the hotel to Tessa’s room and tapped lightly.
He hadn’t seen her alone since the night at his cottage. He missed her, missed talking to her.
How had something as common as sexual attraction turned into so much more?
The hotel door cracked slightly as she peered out, but when she recognized him, she pulled it open farther.
“Grant. What are you doing here?”
He took in her hair, slicked back into a low bun, but it was wet, so he knew she’d showered. The leggings and long-sleeved T-shirt she’d donned fit her petite, curvy body beautifully. The woman was never rumpled or disheveled. Ever.
“Can I come in?”
Without a word, she stepped back. To torture himself or to give her something to think about, he brushed against her on his way through the door, and appreciated the swift intake of breath she rewarded him with.
He’d been wandering around for most of the evening. He’d had dinner alone, looking over fresh notes about the race, the atmosphere, comparing them to old ones, emailing Bronson and Anthony. And then he’d been stewing over his father’s call.
But he hadn’t seen Tessa for...too long.
“You did amazing today,” he told her, raking his eyes over her.
She closed the door, leaned back against it and smiled. “Thank you. It’s a relief to have today over with, but now the work and pressure really begin. But this is the part I love. The buildup, the anticipation.”
“Take this win and leave the rest for tomorrow,” he told her.
He glanced around the neat space, noting the perfectly made king-size bed, the single suitcase on the stand.
“I didn’t want to interrupt after the race. You had quite the press surrounding you.” Her fresh-from-the-shower scent and those hip-hugging leggings were killing him. “I had to tell you congratulations.”
Tessa’s smile widened. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
Pushing away from the door, she moved through an open doorway to a small living area. When she sank onto the floral sofa, she gestured toward the other end. “Have a seat.”
He sat down on the edge of the couch, rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “So, we go back to Stony Ridge tomorrow?”
“Yeah. More training awaits,” she told him, tucking a bare foot up onto the couch. “Did you get more useful information today?”
“I did. I’ve touched base with Bronson and Anthony, and we’re excited for next week, when they arrive.”
Tessa stared at him, her gaze never wavering from his. “Want to tell me what’s wrong? I know you came to congratulate me, but there’s more.”
How did she know? She barely knew him, and here she was, so in tune with his emotions, his body language. They were all alone, yet instead of any seducing or flirting, she’d picked up on his emotional state. What was he, a damn woman?
She’d gotten so far beneath his skin, he couldn’t hide anything from her. Especially after she’d witnessed his raw emotions the other night.
“Long day,” he told her. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you if you were getting ready for bed. I just didn’t want to come by earlier when you were busy, and then I was sidetracked.”
By the haunting words of my father’s call, and so many damn emotions.
“You’ve avoided me,” she told him. “For two days, you’ve talked to everyone but me.”
“I’m working,” he retorted, even though he knew where she was going with this. So he beat her to it. “Besides, you were gone the other morning when I got up, so I assumed you were uncomfortable. I wanted to give you space.”
“You were angry.” Tessa traced her finger over a small pink flower on the cushion and shrugged. “Seemed like you were hiding.”
Angry, no. Fighting to earn her trust before taking things to the next level, yes. He’d never worried about getting to know a woman, learning all about her and actually caring for her before taking her to bed. Tessa had woken something in him, something even more primal.
“I don’t hide from anything,” he protested. “Especially a woman.”
Her eyes came up and met his. “No? You’ve made a point to be in my business every day for five days, and the last two you vanish.”
Grant gritted his teeth. “I was working.”
“Me, too. So, do you want to talk about it?”
“What?”
She flattened her hand, smacking the cushion between them. “You have nightmares you refuse to face. Or we could discuss the fact that had you not stopped the other night, I would’ve given myself to you.”
Silence settled between them, joining the already crackling sexual tension.
Her eyes narrowed. “Pick one.”
Grant came to his feet, resting his hands on his hips. “Fine. Why were you ready to throw away your virginity on me the other night? You’ve held on to it this long, why not wait for someone who might actually stick around? Someone who is more compatible with you? Because, as you’ve established, we’re too different.”
For the first time since he’d stepped foot inside her room, he saw doubt flash across her face. Good. He wanted to make her think, make her really want him. Because he wanted her with a force he could barely control.
“We are different, Slick.” Her blue eyes traveled up the length of him as she tilted her head and smirked. “And maybe you were right, stopping the other night.”
“I was.” Hard as it had been to put the brakes on, he’d known the decision was the right one, and he was the only one who’d been thinking beyond that point. But they would get there...when they were both ready.
Tessa came to her feet, crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. “I know we’re different. I know all the reasons we shouldn’t be together intimately, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t care. A part of me that just wants to let you do anything you want.”
Grant had to really fight himself to stand still, to let her speak. But her words—her honest, raw words—were killing him.
“You do things to me,” she went on. “The way I feel when I’m with you is...different. That may only be one-sided, but I’m finding the attraction harder and harder to fight.”
No, this spark of something beyond physical was most definitely not one-sided. He’d found it harder than hell to stay away from her for two days, while trying to focus on the job.
“Why are you fighting it?” he asked.
“Because...well, what if I’m a disappointment to you? What if I’m disappointed myself in all of it? I mean, I’ve gone this long, and if I give in, what if I’m let down?”
Grant’s control snapped as he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. Her hands came up to his shoulders as she caught herself.
With his lips a breath away from hers, he whispered, “I guarantee when I get you in my bed, nobody will be disappointed, Tessa.”
Her eyes widened. “When? You mean, you don’t plan on stopping again?”
“I’m not taking you here,” he told her. “I want you to be trembling with want. I want you to think about me, about us, when you’re training, and I want your fantasies to override anything else.”
“Why?” she whispered.
He nipped at her lips. “Because you’re so self-contained, and I can’t wait to see you out of control and knowing I caused it.”
Her fingertips curled into his shoulders as he slid his mouth over hers. The brief, powerful kiss nearly had him dropping to his knees before her. But he had to remain in control here, because he was damn determined to get her to loosen up.
He tore his mouth from hers and stepped back. “Lock that door behind me, Country, and I’ll see you back at Stony Ridge.”
Once again, he left her when they both were nearly shaking with desire. But he wanted more than lust, more than just sex. And damned if that didn’t scare the hell out of him.