Ten
“Melanie!”
Fear consumed him, bile rose in his throat as the scene before him unfolded.
Screams filled the evening, the thundering of hooves seemed to be in surround sound, and all Grant could do was look on as his twin sister held on to the out-of-control mare.
Their parents and the trainer all shouted commands, running after them, but Grant, still atop his own horse, could only stare from behind.
He’d done this. All in the name of a joke and a dare, he’d put Melanie in danger.
The shrill sound coming from his sister jolted him out of his horrified, frozen state, and he kicked his mount into gear and charged after them. He had to do something, had to rectify this somehow. Fear fueled him, while adrenaline blocked out all the possibilities of what might happen if that animal threw her.
He leaned into his horse, kicking his flank once again to move faster.
But it was too late. Melanie’s mare saw Grant’s coming in fast, and bucked, sending Melanie off the back. She landed with a jarring, sickening thud.
As he jumped off his horse and his parents and the trainer gathered around, Grant knew things had gone from bad to worse and hell was opening up to swallow him.
His beautiful, talented, always smiling twin sister wasn’t moving....
Grant jerked up in bed, the sheet twisted around his waist, sweat dampening his forehead, his chest.
Damn. That nightmare hadn’t made an appearance in so long, and he could’ve gone the rest of his life without having that dream.
There wasn’t a day that went by when he didn’t relive that life-altering moment. But the dreams...they were all too real and obviously the penance for his sin.
Grant swung his feet over the side of the bed, yanking the sheet off. He needed fresh air, some water, and he should probably check on Tessa.
Tessa. No doubt the events of today had brought on the nightmare. Because he’d been just as terrified seeing Tessa on the out-of-control stallion and then her fall...
Raking a hand over his face, Grant came to his feet and padded to the kitchen, careful to be quiet as he crept past Tessa’s door. He’d insisted she keep it open in case she needed to call him for anything. She’d fought him a little on the matter, but Grant had refused to back down.
After he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a long drink, he set it on the counter, walked toward the patio and opened the door, welcoming the crisp night air. The refreshing breeze cooled his heated skin and calmed him, but that damn nightmare and images of today still rolled over and over in his mind.
Nothing was as nauseating, as horrifying or as crippling as watching someone you cared for caught in a helpless situation, and knowing there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it.
But unlike Tessa’s situation, Grant had caused his twin’s. His beautiful sister could’ve been killed. Sometimes he wondered if death would’ve been better than being a paraplegic.
“You okay?”
He turned, finding Tessa standing in the shadows. His T-shirt hit her midthigh, leaving beautifully toned legs revealed.
“I’m fine,” he answered, turning back to the starry night, silently willing her to go away.
He couldn’t keep looking at her, not when his emotions were so high and his heart was still in his throat.
And not when he’d just admitted to himself he was starting to care for her more than he thought he would. There was no way he could keep all his emotions separated now. More penance for his sins.
“Sorry if I woke you,” he told her. “I was going to check on you in a minute.”
Bare feet padded along the hardwood floors, and Grant clenched his fists as Tessa came to stand beside him. Her sweet jasmine scent mixed with the cool night air and surrounded him.
He hated how vulnerable he was. Hated how his need for her consumed him.
Turn back. Turn back before I take what I want.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked, her soft voice washing over him.
Sparing her a glance, he shook his head. “You should be in bed.”
“I feel fine,” she insisted, reaching out a delicate hand to grip his bare biceps. “What’s keeping you up?”
Songs of crickets flooded the night, and Grant couldn’t find the words. Right now he couldn’t even think, given his vortex of emotions. Her fall, her nearness...her virginity.
“I guess I’m just still keyed up after today’s excitement.”
“Is that why I heard you cry out in your sleep a few minutes ago?”
Grant jerked around, causing her hand to drop. When she said nothing more, only crossed her arms over her chest, he muttered a curse and raked his fingers through his hair.
“I used to have nightmares,” he admitted, not going into further detail. “I had one tonight. It’s no big deal.”
Bright blue eyes studied him for a moment before she spoke. “They must be a big deal if this is an ongoing thing, Grant. Have you talked to anybody about them?”
“Like a shrink?” He laughed. “No. I’m fine.”
Her gaze slid over his bare chest, then back up. She might as well have touched him with her soft fingertips because the effect was the same. His body responded, and there was nothing he could do to stop the heavy dose of arousal that kicked into high gear...as if he needed his hormones to bump up a notch.
“You should get back to bed,” he told her, silently begging her to get her barely covered butt out of here before he forgot how delicate and innocent she truly was.
If she only knew the control she held over him...
“I want to help you.” Stepping forward, she slid that delicate hand back up his arm and over the curve of his bare shoulder. “You may not want to talk about the dream, but I can stay up with you so you’re not alone.”
Grant’s control snapped as he grabbed Tessa’s slender shoulders and backed her up two steps to the frame of the patio door. Her eyes widened as she peered up at him.
“It’s best I’m alone right now,” he growled. “I want things I shouldn’t, and my mood isn’t the best. Go to your room, Tessa.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she brought up her hands to cup his face. “You don’t scare me, Grant. Whatever you’re dealing with, I can help.”
“I may not scare you, but right now I sure as hell scare myself.”
Closing the slim gap between them, Grant crushed her lips to his. Her soft hands slipped around to grip the back of his neck, her fingers threading through his hair.
Why didn’t she listen? He wanted her, more than any other woman before. If she’d just gone back to her room... Granted, he’d given her about a minute’s warning, but damn, she was here in his house and barely dressed in the middle of the night. And he had all these emotions whirling around. This was so much more than lust, and it was so much more than sex that he wanted from her.
But damn it, he couldn’t let himself get too personally involved.
Grant tried to deepen the kiss, but she beat him to it. He wanted to apply more pressure, but again she was ahead of him.
Obviously, she wasn’t scared of the desperation in his touch, and she sure as hell wasn’t scared of the warning he’d issued to her.
On one hand he was thrilled she hadn’t gone back to her room, but on the other he worried he wouldn’t be able to stop. The need for her clawed at him, consumed him.
Tearing his mouth from hers, he kissed a path down her throat. Her body arched into his as she groaned, giving him another reason to progress. When his fingers found the hem of the T-shirt, he slid his hands up beneath the cotton, finding soft, smooth skin and satiny panties.
He dipped one fingertip inside the snug elastic, needing more, silently questioning where the boundaries were.
A soft cry came from her lips as Grant lifted his mouth away. Resting his forehead against hers, he ran his fingers over her, nearly falling to his knees when her hips bumped against his hand.
With that silent invitation, he eased into her warmth, taking every bit of passion she was allowing. The fine line of control had snapped the moment she’d come to him, wanting to save him from himself. He couldn’t be saved, but he could give pleasure, and right now that’s all he had in him.
“Grant.”
Her whispered plea had him claiming her mouth once again as his hand continued to pleasure her. She gripped his shoulders and her body jerked.
“Let go, Tessa,” he all but growled against her lips.
And as if she’d been holding on to that same thin line of control, her body stilled against his and she cried out, her fingernails biting into the bare flesh of his shoulders.
With her head thrown back against the door frame, her eyes squeezed tight and her mouth parted, she looked every bit the vixen he knew he could uncover.
When he removed his hand and stepped closer to slide his arms around her, he felt Tessa’s entire body tremble, out of arousal or fear, he wasn’t sure. She was an innocent, and he had her backed against a door frame like a horny teen who couldn’t control himself. And he’d just taken a portion of her passion and used it, technically, to make himself feel better. She’d gotten too close to his hidden shame, and he’d opted to turn the tables, so to speak, and take what he wanted. Okay, not all he wanted, but enough that he knew he was a jerk.
So he stepped back.
Panting, her lips still moist and swollen from his touch, Tessa didn’t look like a virgin, and he wanted her even more. Wanted her in his bed, spread all around him, so he could show her just how good they’d be together. But he also had to be realistic and not just a selfish ass.
“Go back to bed.”
“Grant.” She started to reach for him and he stepped back again, ignoring the flash of hurt in her eyes.
“Go, Tessa, before I ignore your innocence and take what I truly want.”
A lone tear slid down her cheek as she blinked, then turned and walked quietly back to the guest room. Grant groaned and leaned against the door frame.
That damn tear was like a knife straight to his heart. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but if he’d taken what she was offering, she’d be even more hurt in the long run.
A woman like Tessa wanted more out of a man than just a fling. She wanted marriage, a family. And he wanted those things, too, but not in this world she lived in.
He’d kept the hurt and guilt in a separate compartment in his heart for so long, but being around Tessa allowed each and every emotion to flood to the surface.
He truly thought he could keep his mind focused on work, had convinced himself he was ready to take on a film that would make him face his demons.
But after today’s events, he knew he’d only been lying to himself.
In a few months he’d be leaving, and as much as he wanted Tessa, he knew even if they came to mean more to each other, neither of them would give up the life they so loved.
So he needed to keep his damn hands and lips off her, because she was getting harder and harder to resist. No matter how much he was coming to care for her, giving up what he’d worked for wasn’t an option. He wouldn’t give up his life in L.A. He’d worked too hard for his career.
Besides, he had run fast and far from the world of horses years ago.
Filming that world was one thing, but living in it would be pure hell. Especially now that he knew exactly what it felt like to have Tessa come apart.
Grant clenched his hand and slammed it against the doorjamb. How the hell did he undo that mental image? How did he expect to work with her and not want her even more?
* * *
When Grant woke the next morning, Tessa was gone and there was no sign she’d ever been there. Nothing less than what he deserved after his adolescent behavior.
He walked by her room, noting the perfectly made bed. Everything was back to the way it had been before she’d spent the night.
Grant walked into the room and spotted the T-shirt she’d slept in. It was neatly folded and lying atop the antique trunk at the end of the bed.
And because he was all alone, he lifted the garment to his face and inhaled her sweet scent.
He’d had his hands on her last night, had her trembling beneath him. She could’ve been his in every way.
But at what cost?
That damn clause prevented him from getting too involved, though he’d probably already crossed that line when he’d been feeling her bare chest and had slipped his hand inside her damp panties. But he knew Tessa would keep their secret rendezvous to herself.
Clause aside, if he’d slept with her, she would’ve regretted it, and the last thing he wanted her to see when she looked at him was regret. Hurt he could handle, regret...not so much.
He was still going to be leaving, and she deserved so much more than sex from a man who was only passing through.
Today he’d be talking with Damon and Cassie. Thankfully, he could avoid Tessa, and they both could take time to figure out what the hell was going on between them.
Lust, yes. Desire, most definitely. But was there more, only he couldn’t put a definite name on it? The thought worried him, because he had a feeling he could want more with her, but couldn’t let himself face all the pain and regret he’d fought so hard to keep away. And he couldn’t risk getting back into a lifestyle he’d run so fast and far from.
There was a reason he hadn’t visited his sister and saw his parents only when they came to him. He just couldn’t tackle all the crippling emotions that always seemed to chase him.
Grant made his way to the main house and entered through the back door. After he’d been here for over a week, Damon had insisted Grant quit knocking and just walk in.
When he stepped into the kitchen, the sweet aroma of cinnamon rolls assaulted him. A beautiful, middle-aged woman with a cap of short silver hair was bustling around the room and humming. Grant cleared his throat so he didn’t scare her.
She turned and smiled. “Good morning, Mr. Carter.”
“Morning,” he replied. “I’m supposed to meet Damon.”
“Oh, he’ll be down shortly.” She picked up the plate of gooey rolls and extended it toward him over top the granite island. “Fresh rolls from the oven. Would you like one?”
“I can’t turn down anything that smells this good,” he told her, reaching for a warm pastry.
“I’m Linda, by the way.” She pulled out a small saucer and set it in front of him, along with a napkin. “Coffee?”
“Please. Black.”
Soon he was in breakfast heaven. Homemade cinnamon rolls and coffee. He could so get used to this film set. Some he’d worked on had been out in the desert; a few had been in a jungle with no indoor plumbing. But this estate? Yeah, Grant could get used to these amenities...and he wasn’t just thinking of the food.
“I’m happy to see someone sit and actually enjoy my cooking while it’s hot,” Linda told him. “Cassie rarely shows up because she’s busy with Emily, and Tessa is too worried about keeping her weight as a jockey. Damon usually eats, but it’s grabbing and heading out the door.”
“And do you cook every morning, anyway?” Grant asked, sipping the steaming coffee.
“Every morning without fail. One of these days the family may decide to all come in and actually use that dining room.” She smiled. “They’re just too busy, if you ask me.”
“Well, I have good news. Next week more of my crew will be arriving. You’re in luck. They like to eat.”
Linda laughed. “Well, then. Looks like I need to make a trip to the store and throw together some menus.”
Grant polished off the roll and eased back in his chair, in no hurry to leave his present company. He had a feeling this woman might know things about this family that many others didn’t.
“How long have you worked here?” he asked.
Linda placed her palms on the edge of the island. “This summer will be fifteen years.”
Perfect.
“So you knew the late Mrs. Barrington?”
Linda nodded. “I did. She was a beautiful woman. Her girls most definitely take after her. That vibrant red hair, those bright blue eyes. A rare mix, but the Barrington women have a special mark of beauty.”
“Was there ever any rivalry between Tessa and Cassie? Cassie seems very content to stay behind the scenes and be the trainer. Has that always been the case?”
“Cassie has always been a bit shy, but she’d do anything for anyone and sacrifice her own happiness to make others happy.” Linda paused before going on. “I dare to say that’s how she ended up with Emily’s father, that arrogant prick. Pardon my language.”
Grant smiled. “I’m getting a vibe that Cassie’s ex-husband isn’t liked around here very much.”
“He’s not liked at all. How could you leave a woman when she’s just delivered your child? I ask you. He’s no man, he’s a selfish coward.”
“I completely agree,” Grant replied. “What about Tessa? What can you tell me about her?”
Linda smiled again, her eyes softening. “Sweet Tessa. She wants to be the best at everything, and she’ll push herself until she becomes that way. I’ve never seen anyone more in competition with themselves than she is. To be honest, after her mama died, she completely submersed herself in the horses. She loved them before and competed heavily, but she had a life. Now she’s in those stables all day and sometimes all night.”
Not last night. Last night she’d been trembling beneath his hands, silently begging for things she couldn’t possibly be ready for.
“I’ve heard her ex isn’t too popular around here, either,” Grant said, mentally moving on from last night’s interludes.
Linda rolled her eyes and grabbed a pot holder as she made her way to the stove built into the wall. “That man wanted Tessa for two reasons—her name and her money. And then...”
Grant waited while she pulled another pan from the oven, but when she didn’t continue he rested his elbows on the counter and asked, “Then what?”
Shaking her head, Linda turned back toward him. “I’d best not say. You’ll have to talk to Tessa.”
“Did she love him?”
The woman smiled, cocked her head to the side. “I’m thinking I like where this line of questioning is going.”
“It’s all pertinent to the film.”
She laughed. “That may be, but it’s also important to you on a personal level, yes?”
“I’m not here for personal reasons,” he replied.
No matter what was or wasn’t happening between him and Tessa, he couldn’t let anything slip. That clause hung over his head, and if he and Tessa decided to...whatever, then that would be in private and kept between them. Period. He had no other option if he wanted to take his career to the next level. And he needed this film and Russo Entertainment to get him there.
Some might say advancing his career was just another leg of this race he ran to stay as far away from his family and past life as possible. Grant liked to believe he was just securing his future.
“Grant.”
He turned and came to his feet when Tessa’s father stepped into the room. “Morning, Damon.”
“Hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
“Not at all,” Grant replied. “A cinnamon roll, coffee and wonderful company is never a bad thing.”
Damon smiled and reached for a roll. “Linda’s specialty. She’s a whiz in the kitchen.”
“Not that anyone in this family sticks around long enough to really enjoy my talents,” she muttered with a slight grin.
“Are you ready to get started?” Damon asked. “I’ve arranged a tee time for ten o’clock.”
“We’re golfing?” Grant asked.
“I am. You can play caddie if you want.”
Grant laughed. “I suck at golf, but let me run to the cottage and change, and I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be here.”
Grant rushed back to his house, barely glancing toward the stables, because he feared he’d see Tessa and that hurt in her eyes again. Female laughter rippled from the open doors and his heart flipped. She was in there with her sister, and they were fine. She probably hadn’t given him another thought.
So while he was on the golf course with her father today, Grant would try his damnedest to not let her consume his every single thought.