When Christakos Meets His Match

CHAPTER NINE


SIDONIE BLINKED. SHE tried to take his words in. Her belly felt as if it was dropping from a height, and she felt unsteady. ‘I’m...you hadn’t taken a woman there before?’

He shook his head, eyes intent on her reaction.

She couldn’t even hide it. She thought of something. ‘But...the clothes...I assumed they had belonged to other women...’ Sidonie felt very gauche now.

Alexio frowned and then emitted a disgusted, ‘Theos. You think I would do that? Buy a wardrobe full of clothes and just hope that they would fit a stream of women?’


Sidonie glared back at him, stung with embarrassment. ‘Well, how would I know? I thought that was some lovers’ bolthole.’

Alexio ran a hand through his hair and said, half to himself, ‘No wonder you sounded funny...and yet you didn’t say anything.’

Now Sidonie was squirming. ‘I didn’t want to look stupid...or na?ve. If you’d had lovers who were used to that kind of thing...’

The clothes had been bought for her alone. The knowledge made her reel. They hadn’t been cast-offs. Sidonie felt increasingly as if she wanted to claim fatigue and run away. But Alexio had a familiar stern look on his face now.

Sidonie went and sat down on a nearby couch, placing her cup on a table. She clasped her hands on her lap to stop them trembling.

Alexio walked away and stood at the window with his back to her for a long moment, as if he too had to gather himself. When he turned around he looked bleak.

‘My solicitor had rung me with what he’d learned about your past that day... I told him it had nothing to do with you. But then he told me about the fact that you’d taken on your aunt’s debts, and that put a question in my head as to why you hadn’t mentioned this—why you were acting as if you didn’t have this huge thing hanging over you.’

Sidonie replied, with a trace of bitterness, ‘Because I was escaping from it. I never had any intention of telling you about it. What did it have to do with anything? I knew we were only going to be together for a few days...it was only meant to be one night.’

That last came out almost accusingly as Sidonie recalled how persuasive he’d been and how easily she’d capitulated.

‘I knew my aunt was okay—she was on holiday with a group she travels with every year...’

Alexio’s voice was hard. ‘My solicitor put the seed of suspicion in my head. I refused to believe the worst, though. I told him that. I was angry with myself for even asking him to investigate you.’ He sighed heavily. ‘I went looking for you. I was going to confess what I’d done and ask you about it...and that’s when I overheard part of your conversation.’

Sidonie felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her for a moment at hearing this. When she could speak she admitted, ‘I can appreciate how damning that conversation must have been to hear, but my aunt was in hysterics. Someone had fed her with horror stories of being repossessed and worse. I knew she wouldn’t feel placated with any reassurances that I’d be there to take her burden. You’ve met her—you can see for yourself what she’s like. I knew she’d only understand something emphatic like someone else saving us. She wouldn’t have believed that I could get jobs and pay off the debts over time unless I was physically there to reassure her.’

Sidonie cringed when she thought of how she’d told her aunt He’s crazy about me and looked down.

‘I panicked and said the first thing I thought of.’

She looked up and Alexio’s face was unreadable. Sidonie hated the suspicion that he still didn’t fully believe her. But then he came and sat down on a chair near the couch and looked at her.

‘Will you tell me what happened with your mother?’

Sidonie was about to blurt out that it was none of his business and then she felt those delicate flutters in her abdomen again. Their daughter. He had a right to the full story.

She sighed deeply. She’d never told anyone about this before. Feeling it might be easier to talk without Alexio’s cool gaze on her, Sidonie stood up and went to the window, arms hugging her midriff.

‘She was born in the suburbs. She and my aunt had an extremely impoverished upbringing. Their father ran out on my grandmother, leaving her to raise two daughters on her own—one with special needs My grandmother had drink problems...mental health issues...depression. Neglect was a feature of their lives. She died when my mother was about seventeen. She had to look after Tante Josephine full-time then...which she resented. She was young and bright. Beautiful. She craved opportunities beyond the grim reality of the suburbs.’

Sidonie turned round.

‘My mother never told me much, but Tante Josephine’s told me enough for me to know that it was pretty tough. When my mother was twenty she won a local beauty competition. Part of the prize was a trip to Dublin for the next round. She went and never came back, leaving my aunt to fend for herself on social protection in their mother’s flat. That’s why my father bought her the apartment when he could. He always felt sorry for her—for how my mother had treated her...’

Shame rose up within Sidonie but she forced it down and kept looking at Alexio, determined not to allow her mother’s shame to be her shame.

‘My father was the married man my mother had the affair with—not the man she ended up marrying. He owned the language school where she’d signed up to do an English course with the prize money from the competition. When he found out she was pregnant he dumped her. She never forgave him for it. My stepfather met my mother around the same time. He was crazy about her and stepped in and offered to marry her.’

Sidonie’s chin lifted imperceptibly.

‘She was avaricious and selfish. No one knows that better than me and my aunt. And my stepfather, who stood by her despite the public humiliation she put him through. She put us all through hell when she ended up being prosecuted, and yet my stepfather never once let me feel anything less than his own child. She was put in jail for two years when I was eight years old. I had to endure taunts at school every day, because we couldn’t afford to move until she was released from prison.’

Sidonie’s voice shook with passion.

‘I spent my whole life dreading someone finding out about her past. That’s why I don’t talk about it. But I am not her, and you had no right to assume I was like her—no matter what evidence you thought you had...’

She recalled one of the things he’d hurled at her. ‘Not even the fact that I told you I liked jewellery. I’m a woman, Alexio. A lot of women like glittery shiny things. It doesn’t mean we’re all inveterate gold-diggers.’

Alexio stood up too, and immediately a flare of awareness made Sidonie take a step back. His eyes flashed at her movement and something tightened between them.

His mouth was a grim line. ‘I’m sorry that I didn’t give you the chance to tell me this, for misjudging you and for leaving you to go through what you have for the past few months. You should never have had to deal with this on your own...’

The lines of his face grew stark and his voice roughened.

‘But I’m not sorry you’re pregnant. I want this baby too.’

He came closer and everything in Sidonie tightened with anticipation. She tried to ignore it.

Heavily, Alexio continued, ‘I should tell you why I jumped to such conclusions. My mother was the most cynical person I’ve ever known. She taught me not to trust at an early age, and the world and my peers have only confirmed her lesson. I’m used to lovers as cynical as I have become. You were so different from anyone I’ve ever met before...’

His words resounded in Sidonie’s head, shocking her. She felt weakened by this mutual confessional. The hard knot of tension and pain inside her felt as if it was dissolving, treacherously.

Alexio went on. ‘My parents’ marriage was not happy. It was sterile, loveless. I told you why I decided to break with my father...but there’s more to it than that. Once he beat my mother. I rushed in to stop him, to protect her, but she put me out of the room and went back in and closed the door, shutting me out.’

Alexio’s mouth twisted.

‘She didn’t want or need my protection—not even then... And that’s why I wanted nothing more to do with my father.’

Sidonie’s heart clenched. She felt increasingly vulnerable and was aware that only inches separated them now. When had they even moved that close?

Alexio’s hand closed around one upper arm, warm against her bare skin, setting off a chain reaction.

‘I’m sorry, Sidonie. Truly.’

Something moved between them. Something fragile and yet something very earthy too.

But Sidonie was reeling. It was too much. She pulled her arm free and said weakly, ‘I’m tired now. I should go to bed.’

Alexio just looked at her in the soft glow of the lamps. ‘Yes.’

Sidonie knew she should move, but for a second she couldn’t seem to. All she could see was that mouth, and all she could think about was how she wanted to feel it on hers right now. She had to get out of there before she did something stupid. Exposed herself.

Backing away, eyes huge, as if she was afraid he might pounce on her, Sidonie left the room and shut herself inside her bedroom. Her heart was beating as rapidly as if she’d just run a mile. Alexio’s words swirled in her head and every cell in her body was protesting at being out of his proximity.

Trying her best to ignore the insistent throbbing of her blood and pulse, Sidonie washed herself and put on her nightshirt, got into bed. But as soon as she lay down she knew sleep was an impossibility.

She clenched her hands into fists. It was as if his words had unlocked something tight and painful inside her and replaced it with pure desire. She needed Alexio with an almost physical pain. Hunger for him made her grit her jaw. Hormones were flooding her body, stronger than anything she’d felt before.


Almost without thinking, operating on some very base level, Sidonie got out of bed and opened the door of her bedroom. She went back into the drawing room and saw Alexio standing at the window, looking like a remote figure. For a second she hesitated, but then he turned round...and she was no more capable of going back than she was of ceasing breathing.

Rawly, she blurted out, ‘I need you to make love to me.’

Alexio thought he was dreaming. He saw Sidonie silhouetted in the light of a nearby lamp. Her flimsy nightshirt clearly showed the shape of her body and the fact that she wore no underwear. His blood boiled, blanking his brain of everything he’d been thinking about. Lust surged, making him so hard it hurt.

Her breasts looked bigger, he could see the swell of her belly, and something deeply primal within him exulted fiercely. His seed in her belly. After their conversation he’d been feeling ridiculously exposed, but that was incinerated by the heat he felt right now.

Fearing she might disappear, Alexio instructed her throatily, ‘Come here.’

Sidonie moved with endearing jerkiness, and then she was in his arms and Alexio’s mouth was on hers. Her body was pressing into him so hard it felt as if he’d be branded with her shape for ever and he was devouring her...and wondering dimly how he’d survived for as long as he had without this.

* * *

Sidonie groaned deep in her throat as sheer wanton pleasure burned up inside her at the feel of Alexio’s arms around her again, his mouth on hers, his tongue stroking hers.

She barely noticed him lifting her up into his arms, feeling weightless as she wrapped her arms around his neck and sank deeper and deeper into the kiss. They only broke apart so that Alexio could lay Sidonie down on his bed, and she looked up at him as he pulled off his shirt, revealing the hard-muscled perfection of his torso. He looked leaner, harder than she remembered, and everything feminine within her sighed voluptuously.

He took off his trousers and underwear and he was unashamedly naked and aroused. The dusky light from outside bathed him in a golden glow.

‘I need to see you.’ His voice was hoarse.

Sidonie’s body was on fire. She couldn’t remember feeling so desperate, so sensitised. Her breasts were literally throbbing, aching with need. And between her legs she felt damp and hot.

She sat up slightly and pulled her nightshirt off, but her hands were awkward.

Alexio said roughly, ‘I’ll do it.’

He reached down and pulled it up and then all the way off. She was naked but she couldn’t drum up any embarrassment. She needed him too badly.

She could see Alexio’s jaw tighten as his eyes devoured her. And then his gaze moved down to the swell of her belly. She lay back on the bed, her breathing tortured. Alexio moved between her legs, forcing them apart slightly, and then came down, resting over her on his hands. Sidonie put her hands on his arms and he bent his head again, kissing her deeply, intimately. His tongue stabbed deep, sliding along hers, making her moan with need.

When his mouth moved across her jaw and down further Sidonie’s nipples tightened unbearably. Torturously slowly he came closer and closer to that distended hard tip, and when he drew it into his mouth and suckled she cried out. It hadn’t been like this before. This intense.

His hand was cupping her other breast, kneading it gently, fingers pinching that peak. Sidonie’s hands were in his hair, clasping him to her with a death grip. When his mouth left her breast and his head moved down Sidonie let out a gasp of disappointment which quickly turned to something else when he pressed a kiss to her belly. For a second her desire was eclipsed by something much more profound and dangerously tender.

Before she could dwell on it Alexio was moving lower, spreading her legs wide, his breath feathering across the incredibly sensitised nerves between her legs. She had to put her fist to her mouth to stop from crying out again when his mouth covered her. His tongue swirled and suckled with merciless and expert precision until she couldn’t hold it back and a flood of ecstasy rushed through her in unstoppable waves.

The intensity of her orgasm left Sidonie trembling all over and she had a moment of déjà vu, remembering her first time with Alexio and how intense it had been. He loomed over her now, broad and awe-inspiring, and she wanted him deep inside her with a ferocious urgency that made her feel desperate.

Sidonie hooked her legs around his thighs, drawing him closer.

He emitted a guttural, ‘I don’t want to hurt you...the baby...’

‘You won’t,’ she assured him breathlessly.

With a low groan, Alexio pressed closer, and then she felt the thick head of his erection sliding into her. So big.

Sidonie let out a sound of frustration, needing more, drawing him even closer, and then with one powerful thrust he sheathed himself deep within her tight, slick body. Tears of emotion sprang into Sidonie’s eyes and she closed them fiercely in case Alexio might see the betraying glitter.

He was moving now—slowly, ruthlessly, in and out. The ride was slow and intense. Tension tightened inside Sidonie, making her moan and plead incoherently for Alexio to never stop.

When her climax approached Sidonie’s eyes flew open. She could only see Alexio’s green gaze boring into her. He held her suspended on the crest of the wave until he thrust one last time and her whole body convulsed with pleasure around his.

* * *

At some point, in the silvery glow of the moon, Sidonie woke up to feel Alexio behind her, pressing kisses to the back of her neck, making her shiver with renewed arousal. He bent over her, scooping her back against him, coming behind her, a hand reaching to find her breast and cup it, making her moan with sleepy and delicious desire.

He said softly beside her ear, ‘Come up on your knees.’

Sidonie was wide awake now, and practically panting with need. Just like that—within seconds. She did as he asked and came up on her knees, her legs spread. Her upper body was on the bed, her elbows bent. Alexio stretched over her back and she could feel his steel-hard erection move against her. He took her arms and stretched them over her head. Her hands automatically gripped the pillow.

And then his thighs were behind hers, his legs moving hers even further apart. Like this, she felt unbelievably exposed and wanton. And yet never more aroused. He drew his hand down her spine, fingers tracing her bones, and then his hands spread around her hips, drawing her back and into him.

She turned her cheek to the bed. Her hands tightened to white knuckles when she felt one hand move between them to explore how ready she was. She could have wept when she felt the tremor run through his body on feeling the evidence of her desire.

Taking his hand away, he replaced it with his potent erection, and as he thrust deep and started the relentless slide of his body in and out of hers again Sidonie felt as if she was losing it completely. All that control she’d held on to for four months, the hatred... It was being washed away and leaving her vulnerable, defenceless. Raw.

Alexio’s body moved with awesome power, wresting away Sidonie’s ability to think rationally. When he bent close over her back and drew her hair aside, so that he could press a kiss to her exposed skin and cup her breast, she couldn’t hold on any more and shattered to pieces for a third time.

* * *

When Alexio woke in the early dawn light he kept his eyes closed for a minute, relishing the hum of satisfaction in his body. Slowly, though, the satisfaction faded as memories took over.

Alexio opened his eyes and realised he was alone in his bed. If not for the crumpled sheets and that hum in his body he might have imagined that he’d had another night of dreams so vivid he woke up aching and aroused.

But sleeping with Sidonie had been no dream. It had surpassed any mere dream. She was more than he remembered—even more responsive.

Why had she left him? Suddenly irritated at the empty bed, Alexio threw back the covers and jumped out. He pulled on a pair of discarded jeans nearby, left them open, and prowled through the apartment to Sidonie’s room. The door was shut. He opened it softly and went in. His heart clenched. She was in her nightshirt, lying on her side, with her legs pulled up. Long golden copper hair was spread out around her head. Lashes were long and dark against her flushed cheeks. Her breaths were deep and even.

He stood transfixed for a long moment and realised with a creeping sense of fatality that everything he’d ever known or believed in had spectacularly blown up in his face.

Yet even now he could hear his mother’s cold voice in his head, mocking him: ‘It’s all an act, Alexio...she’s fooling you even now, making you want her. Making you believe that she’d do anything but take your money when she has your baby in her belly, the best insurance a woman can get...’

Alexio blocked out the voice with an effort. He couldn’t believe he’d told Sidonie everything last night. The darkest, dirtiest secret of his father’s violence. He’d never even told Rafaele about that. He’d never forget his mother’s beautiful face, bruised and battered. But she hadn’t cried out. She hadn’t let him help. She’d put him from the room and closed the door and contained the incident. Always so cold, so frigid.

He could feel the remnants of the same rigidity that he’d learned from her in him, and also the desire to let it loosen. He thought of everything Sidonie had told him last night. He believed her. He wanted to believe her. But some deep part of him was clinging to the tentacles of the past like a drowning man clinging to a buoy.


One thing was for sure: there was no way she could not agree to the fact that Alexio was going to be an integral part of her life from now on—and his daughter’s.

* * *

When Sidonie woke the following morning her whole body felt deliciously lethargic and sated. And then her eyes opened and horror coursed through her. Alexio. She’d begged him to make love to her last night like some kind of lust-crazed wanton.

She cringed. But then she recalled their conversation and that sensation of something giving way inside her, melting. In the cold light of day, and after what had happened last night, Sidonie couldn’t keep pretending to herself that she hated Alexio. Far from it.

She’d fallen for him on Santorini—if not as early as that first night in London. Who was she kidding? she castigated herself. She’d probably fallen for him on that plane, before they’d even kissed. And, yes, she’d hated him for the way he’d treated her, but she’d really never stopped falling for him.

And after what he’d told her about his mother and his father... It didn’t excuse him, but it made her weak heart want to empathise with how a man had become so cynical at such a young age and never had any experience to counteract that.

No wonder he’d checked himself and doubted what was going on between them if he’d never allowed a woman that close before...

Feeling dangerously dreamy all of a sudden, Sidonie got out of bed and took a shower, all at once eager to see Alexio and cursing herself for having left his bed because she’d felt so raw and exposed.

Since he’d come back into her life he’d done nothing but support her, and had taken the news of her pregnancy on board with admirable equanimity. And what had she done? Thrown everything back in his face...scared in case he got close enough to see how deep her feelings ran for him. Scared in case he’d see how flimsy that hatred was because she knew she still loved him and hated her own weakness.

He’d paid off the debts to ease her aunt’s mind and to take the burden of pressure off her. And even though that still made Sidonie feel uncomfortable she knew that he’d undoubtedly done it out of concern for her health and the baby’s.

Those debts were a drop in the ocean for him, But she was still concerned enough to make a case for paying him back. The thought of just letting him pay off debts her mother had been responsible for made Sidonie feel faintly ill.

But after last night—surely something had shifted between them? Maybe something of what they’d had before hadn’t been irretrievably lost...?

Sidonie’s heart beat fast at that. Maybe the lines of communication could be a little more open now. Surely he would respect her desire to pay him back?

When Sidonie went in search of Alexio and found him reading a newspaper at the breakfast table she had a smile on her face. It soon faded, though, when he looked at her with a cool expression, his face unreadable.

‘Good morning.’

‘Morning...’ she said faintly, wondering if this clean-shaven epitome of elegance in a dark suit and shirt was the same man who had driven her to the brink of her endurance three times last night. Now she didn’t feel so bad about leaving his bed. The sense of rawness and vulnerability was back with a vengeance.

The housekeeper who worked for a few hours every day, preparing meals and cleaning the apartment, bustled in with breakfast for Sidonie and she sat down silently. The doctor had recommended a diet full of nutrients to help her get back on her feet but she couldn’t stomach anything now. She felt a little sick.

‘Okay?’ Alexio’s question was cool.

Sidonie nodded and avoided his eye, picking at the food. It was as if nothing had happened.

He finished his coffee and put his paper down. ‘We should talk...’ he said.

Sidonie gave up pretending to try and eat and pushed her plate away slightly. She looked at him and wished she could block out the images from the previous night. The way he’d looked so intense... And she wished she could block out her feelings too, but it seemed as if now she’d admitted how she felt to herself she’d opened a dam.

‘Talk about what?’

Alexio looked serious. ‘About us...where we go from here.’

Something went cold inside Sidonie. She’d imagined a conversation like this, but not with Alexio sounding as if he was about to discuss profits and losses. Foolishly she’d imagined something altogether more passionate.

In her silence, he clarified, ‘We can’t go on in this state of limbo... You’re feeling better. I have to get back to work. We need to figure out the logistics.’

Limbo. Was that what he thought last night had been about? While Sidonie had been realising how much she loved him?

She slid out of her chair and stood up. Alexio stood too, instantly dwarfing her. She moved back.

‘I don’t think I’m quite getting your meaning.’

His hands curled around the back of his chair. ‘What I’m talking about is where we’ll live—how we will proceed. I’ll have to buy a new house, of course. The apartment isn’t suitable for a baby... Or maybe you want to be here? Near to your aunt?’

Sidonie’s mouth had fallen open at the way he’d laid everything out so starkly. There was no emotion involved. She recovered her wits and felt anger rising at his cool arrogance.

‘This baby is not logistics—it’s a baby. Our daughter.’

Those words pricked her heart. She put her hands on her belly, the by now nearly constant fluttering comforting her.

‘I don’t expect us to proceed anywhere. I do expect me to go on with my life, though.’

Alexio looked every inch the powerful tycoon in that moment. ‘This isn’t up to you, Sidonie. You will allow me to provide for you and the baby.’

Sidonie cursed herself for ever having cast him in the role of benign benefactor. Emotions bubbled over. Enough for the both of them.

‘Her name is Belle. Not the baby. And I stupidly thought that after last night something had changed...that—’ She stopped and cursed herself silently. She’d said too much.

Alexio looked disgusted. ‘Our daughter is not going to be called Belle—what kind of a name is that?’

Sidonie replied faintly, ‘It’s Tante Josephine’s favourite name.’

She felt dazed at how na?ve she’d been. Again. Nothing had changed.

That green gaze narrowed on her. ‘You thought what had changed?’

Sidonie shook her head, feeling sick at how she’d almost given herself away. Disgusted with herself for allowing some confessional conversation and some hot sex to melt away her feelings of anger. She’d only ever been a transitory visitor through Alexio’s bed. And now he was stuck with her.

‘Nothing. I’m not doing this, Alexio—committing to some sterile arrangement just for your benefit.’

‘We desire each other. Last night proved that beyond a doubt.’

Sidonie felt as exposed as if he’d just stripped her naked. A few hours ago he had.

Lifting her chin, she said tautly, ‘That was hormones.’

Alexio looked comically confused for a moment. ‘Hormones?’

Sidonie nodded, desperate to convince him that he had it wrong. ‘It’s in my pregnancy book—you can read about it. It’s very common for pregnant women to feel more...’ Sidonie faltered. In spite of her best efforts she blushed fiercely. ‘More...amorous. It’s because of all the extra blood.’

The confusion left Alexio’s face and now he looked livid. A muscle throbbed in his temple. ‘Hormones...? Extra blood? That was chemistry—pure and simple.’ He was almost roaring now. ‘Are you trying to tell me that any man would have done to satisfy your urges last night?’

Sidonie’s face burned, but valiantly she affected as much insouciance as she could and with a small shrug reiterated, ‘I’m just telling you what’s in my pregnancy book.’

Alexio’s face was rigid with rejection, and even she felt the sting of her conscience.

‘You wanted me as much as I wanted you. There might have been extra hormones involved, but it was inevitable.’

Sidonie cursed silently. So much for hoping to convince Alexio that any man would have done. As if. Even now she wanted him, in spite of his being so arrogant that she wanted to hit him.

Sidonie clenched her hands into fists and glared at him for making her love him. For making her want him. For humiliating her.

‘Nothing has changed, Alexio. We’re exactly where we were when you arrived in Paris. The only difference now is that I owe you money instead of a bank.’

Alexio looked livid again. ‘Stop saying that. You owe me nothing. I want to try and make this work, Sidonie.’

Sidonie felt bitter. ‘This is not a car, Alexio. And I can tell you that it’s not working. Desire or no desire. That’s not enough. I won’t allow you to put me and our daughter up like some kind of discarded mistress and her child. I am not a sponger. I will work to pay my way for me and my child, like millions of other women around the world.’

Alexio’s mouth was a tight line of displeasure. ‘Millions of other women around the world haven’t had the sense to fall pregnant by a billionaire.’

* * *


Sidonie gasped and went pale as his unspoken words throbbed silently between them: So stop pretending that you don’t want my support.

Alexio immediately put out a hand. ‘Sid...wait. I didn’t mean it like—’

Sidonie cut him off with ice in her voice, even as her heart was breaking all over again. ‘I’ve already told you not to call me that. My name is Sidonie. And you’ve said quite enough. You still don’t trust me, do you?’

She saw the flare of guilt in his eyes and something inside her withered and died. She couldn’t say another word. She shook her head and backed away, and then turned and walked out of the room.

Alexio watched her go and then tunnelled his hands through his hair. He closed his eyes and repeated every curse he’d ever heard under the sun. Watching the way she’d gone pale just now... Something inside him had curdled and now he felt the acrid taste of panic. That hadn’t gone at all the way he’d expected it to.

As if one moment of this relationship with this woman had ever gone the way he’d expected it to...

From the moment she’d appeared at breakfast with that shy smile Alexio had felt the dam of emotion inside him threatening to burst free. But he wasn’t ready yet. It was too much.

When he came out of the dining room he saw Sidonie putting on her coat and lifting her bag. The panic escalated, making him feel constricted, rudderless. As if he were freefalling from a great height.

‘Where are you going?’

Sidonie avoided his eye. ‘I said I’d go over to Tante Josephine’s this morning.’

She looked at him then, but there was no expression on her face or in her eyes. She was pale. The swell of her belly was visible under her top. Alexio had a sudden urge to beg Sidonie not to go, but something held him back. The memory of his mother’s cold face when he’d blurted out, Why can’t you love each other? Those tentacles were dragging him back, stronger than he could resist.

He assured himself he was overreacting. Sidonie would be back this afternoon and they would talk again. When he’d regained some sense of being in control. He was still shaking with rage at the insinuation that she would have slept with any willing red-blooded man last night because she’d just been horny.

‘My car and driver are outside if you want to use them.’

Sidonie said a quiet, ‘Okay.’ And then she opened the door and left. Alexio had the awful sensation that even while he was so intent on retaining control he was losing it anyway.

* * *

Alexio spent the morning and early afternoon on the phone to his offices in London and Athens. But he couldn’t get his poisonous words to Sidonie out of his head: Millions of other women around the world haven’t had the sense to fall pregnant by a billionaire. Or how stricken she had looked after he’d said them. She’d looked that stricken on Santorini.

A cold fist seemed to be squeezing his heart.

His solicitor Demetrius rang and asked him, ‘When are you going to stop playing nursemaid and come back to work?’

A volcanic rage erupted deep inside Alexio as he recalled how this man, his friend, had unwittingly fed Alexio’s deeply cynical suspicions four months ago, and he slammed the phone down before he could say or do something he might regret. Like fire him. Alexio had no one to blame but himself.

He looked at the phone belligerently. The fact was that he had no desire for work. He had desire only for one thing and he was very much afraid that he had just let that one thing slip out of his grasp.

He picked up the phone again and dialled. After a few seconds a recording of Sidonie’s voice sounded in his ear: ‘I’m sorry I can’t take your call. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.

Short, economical. Up-front. Alexio felt sick, and the back of his neck prickled. He didn’t leave a message. He made another call and asked Tante Josephine if Sidonie had left her yet.

Tante Josephine answered him and the panic rose high enough in his throat to strangle him.

He forced himself to sound calm. ‘When did she leave?’

She told him and Alexio did rapid calculations in his head. Somehow he managed to get out something vaguely coherent and then he put down the phone and stood up. And then he sat down again abruptly. Alexio didn’t know what to do, and he was filled with a sense that for the first time in his largely charmed life he couldn’t predict the outcome with his usual arrogance.

An image of his brother Rafaele came into his mind’s eye, and he recalled how turbulent his emotions had been at seeing his brother embrace love and a family. Alexio realised now that he’d been poisonously jealous of his brother. Jealous of what he’d reached out for when everything in his life should have told him it wasn’t possible.

Something was swelling inside Alexio’s chest now—something bigger than the past. And with it came the fear that had held him back that morning. But for the first time Alexio didn’t fight it. And then he felt another very fledgling feeling take hold: hope. Did he dare to think that he too could reach out and take hold of something he’d once believed in? Even if there might be nothing on the other side?

With a grim sense of resolve, and knowing that he just didn’t have a choice any more, Alexio made the first of a series of calls and then instructed his driver to have the car ready.