Chapter Twelve
Colin awoke to find her watching him. “You are awake,” he said in a sleep-roughened voice.
Her face grew hot.
“Is something wrong?”
She shook her head.
Clearly, she must be remembering the things they’d done in bed. “I’ll announce our engagement when we return to Deerfield tomorrow.”
She drew the sheet over her luscious breasts. “I beg your pardon?”
He plumped the pillow behind him. “Angeline, do not kick up a fuss. I had every intention of making a timely exit, but I lost control, and now it is quite possible we have created our firstborn.”
She snorted. “It only happened one time. My friend Charlotte did not conceive for nearly six months.”
“You’re not Charlotte, and I’m not Portsworth. It only takes once, and I’d rather not have to face your father after your belly expands.”
“You speak as if it is a foregone conclusion,” she said. “Furthermore, if we announce an engagement tomorrow, our families will know what we’ve been doing.”
He released a loud sigh. Damnation, he was still in danger of losing Sommerall. Of course she was right. He imagined Wycoff pointing a rifle at him. Granted the man was a terrible shot, but Colin knew he’d make an easier target than a flying bird.
“When will you know if there are consequences?” he asked.
“Oh, my stars.”
“Angeline, after the things we did in this bed, I’m astounded by your sudden bashfulness.”
“A week,” she muttered.
“Ah, well it matters not one way or the other.”
“How can you be so cavalier about it?” she said.
“Because, darling, I want to announce our engagement.”
“You do not have my permission,” she said.
“Angeline, it is true that we both will benefit from the marriage, but it is equally true that I took your virginity.”
“Well, you can’t put it back.”
He laughed. “In all seriousness, my honor demands that we marry.”
“What nonsense.”
“You know the rules as well as I do. Why are you being so difficult?”
“I need time to think,” she said. I’m scared that you will never love me.
“Let us be officially engaged,” he said. “That way we will have freedom, and we can talk about our expectations.”
“Suppose we find we do not suit. I cannot break another engagement, Colin.” Panic set in.
She might be engaged to him in a week. Why did that frighten her? He wasn’t Brentmoor. Yes, he had a rakish reputation, but he had never lied to her or tried to manipulate her. They had already agreed to a trial engagement. The only reason they had waited was to learn more about each other so that they could see if they would suit. She ought to be rejoicing, knowing that the marriage would resolve all of her problems and his as well.
“I know you, Angeline. You are worried. Tell me what troubles you.”
You don’t love me. “It is nothing, really.”
His eyes softened. “Are you feeling guilty about what we did?”
“No.” I probably should, but I cannot when I love you.
“You will tell me one way or the other when you know if there are consequences,” he said.
She knew he was only being practical, but she yearned for a declaration of love that would not be forthcoming.
“You should not worry. I will not abandon you,” he said.
Of all the foolish things to say. “Hah! I might abandon you.”
“Where are my smelling salts?” he said, his chest shaking with laughter.
“In all seriousness, we should not rush into an engagement just because we made love.”
“Angeline, we already discussed the possibility of marriage. We agreed to spend time together to discover if we are compatible. We are.”
“You mean in bed,” she said.
He kissed her cheek. “You surpassed my greatest hopes.”
“You think I’m wanton.”
“No, I think we’re both passionate and compatible. Granted, we like to spar, but that is part of the passion. You must admit we have worked well together at Sommerall.”
“Searching through trunks and making notes of the work that is needed is not the same thing as a marriage,” she said.
He folded his hands behind his head. “Isn’t marriage made up of everyday things? Breakfast, lovemaking, dinner, lovemaking, tea, lovemaking.”
“You are incorrigible.”
He turned on his side and propped his head up. “No, I’m delighted—with you. I think we’ll rub along, pardon the pun, very well.”
He was still under the influence of passion. “I think we need to continue our original plan to learn more about each other. We only have two and one-half weeks left.”
He lifted her hand for a kiss. “Perhaps we can find a reason to return to Sommerall.”
“I think we had better use caution. If we were caught, it could cause hard feelings,” she said. “My father suffers enough guilt for what happened and so does my mother. You do not want to disappoint your father, either.”
“Trust me. He is disappointed in me and has been for some time.”
“I do not believe that he is disappointed in you. You find his ultimatums ridiculous. He can be difficult, but you manage to work around it.”
“I tire of it.” He rubbed his nose against hers. “But not of you.”
He was flirtatious, but they needed to talk about the things that really mattered if they were to make the engagement official. “We are facing the possibility of bringing a child into the world. Yet, we need to discuss if we want a large family or not.”
He shrugged. “I never thought much about it. I figure babies will come along when they will.”
Yet, his mother had died in childbirth. Many women succumbed, particularly when there were multiple pregnancies. “It can be prevented?” she said.
“Tonight, I proved it can be a tricky business to prevent. I am sorry. Usually I…never mind.”
“Finish what you meant to say.”
“You are more delectable than…I expected.”
That was not what he’d almost said. “You are speaking very carefully,” she said. “To preserve my feminine sensibilities, perhaps?”
“Neither of us can change the past,” he said. “You are a lady and my secret fiancée. I rather like the idea; it sounds mysterious. If all goes well, you will be my wife, provided we are both in accord now or when the house party ends. Now, wasn’t that easy?”
“I know you’ve had mistresses.”
“That is what bachelors do before they marry. This should be no surprise to you.”
She summoned up the courage to ask what she really wanted to know. “Have you ever been in love?”
He remained silent for a long moment. “I thought so once.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“Why do you want to know? It happened ten years ago.”
“Then why do you hesitate to tell me?”
“Because it ended very badly. Leave it be.”
“Did she break your heart?”
His eyes blazed. “I was mad for her, but her husband took exception to the affair de coeur.”
Angeline inhaled sharply. “Who was she?”
He shook his head. “My father bought my way out of a duel. He has reasons for being disappointed in me.”
“She was older, wasn’t she?”
“I knew this would happen. I shouldn’t have told you.”
“You do realize how hypocritical you are,” she said. “I told you every detail about Brentmoor. There were no other serious relationships. I think the reason you do not tell me is because you do not trust me enough to confide in me.”
“I did not want you to hear the sordid truth, and I don’t want to remember it, either. I’m not proud of it, Angeline, but I was young and stupid.”
“You loved her,” she said.
He was silent for a long moment. “Her husband banished her to Scotland. I thought I would lose my mind.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. He had loved her.
“Turn on your side,” he said. “You must be tired.” When she did, he curled up behind her and cupped her breast.
She’d insisted that he tell her. Now she knew. Another woman had once won his love. It shouldn’t matter, but it hurt. All along, they had agreed to a marriage of convenience, but she’d hoped he would develop tender feelings for her. He liked her, but he didn’t love her. She wondered if he ever would.
Something tickled her neck and something hard pressed against her back.
Colin pressed her shoulder to the mattress. “Good morning.”
Memories of the night before flooded her brain. Her face heated as she realized she was naked. Her shift was half dangling off the foot of the bed.
He nudged her thighs apart and suckled her breasts.
She inhaled.
He kissed her neck again.
She wanted to succumb to pleasure, but she was worried. What would happen when he tired of her? “I think we need to talk,” she said.
He groaned and rolled onto his back. “Something is troubling you,” he said.
“I’m a little concerned about what will happen.”
“You worry too much.”
“How can I not worry? You know my past. I’ve no idea what will transpire between us. Yes, I worry.”
“It will do no good to worry about what might happen or what happened in the past,” he said. “Think about the present.”
How could she not think about the past? Brentmoor had betrayed her, and she’d had trouble trusting anyone afterward.
“I can see the worry on your face,” he said. “Tell me what it is and I will do my best to reassure you.”
“We will both make every effort to treat each other with kindness and respect.”
He looked very serious. “I rather thought that was a given.”
“Of course,” she said, “but even the happiest of couples have disagreements.”
He lifted his palms. “You are worrying about something that has not even occurred. Do you not see that anticipating trouble at every turn will frustrate me and make you unhappy? Promise me that you will make every effort to curb this tendency. No good will come from it, Angeline.”
She nodded and knew he was right, but she also knew it would not be easy to put her faith completely in him all at once.
“Allow yourself to be happy,” he said. “You deserve it. We both do.”
“The rain stopped,” she said. “We had better dress.”
He donned his drawers and walked to the window and pulled the drapes back. It was still dim out, but the sun would rise shortly.
She managed to pin her hair in a simple twist. “Colin, I need your assistance with the stays, please.”
He captured her gaze and tossed the stays aside.
“What are you doing?”
“I can’t get last night out of my head.”
“You are wicked,” she whispered. Evidently she was, too.
“You are as irresistible as sweet cream.” He was breathing faster. “I want to taste you again.”
Her breasts felt heavier, and she realized his words had made her slick between her thighs.
He took her hands and regarded her with concern. “Be honest. Are you…well this morning?”
Her heart melted. “I am well…and a little undone.”
He took her in his arms. “Are you sorry about last night?”
“No, quite the opposite.” She was happy and carefree for the moment. There hadn’t been many carefree moments for her in the last year.
“I’m glad,” he said.
She wanted to confess what was in her heart, but then he would feel an obligation to her, and she wished for him to want her for his wife. She could not bear it if he felt forced. Yet, she knew if she discovered she was with child, they would have no choice.
Angeline realized she was borrowing trouble again. She gazed into his eyes and told him as much of the truth as she dared. “About last night,” she said. “I failed to tell you something.”
His expression grew wary.
“I failed to tell you that it was wonderful, and I feel a little bemused this morning.”
His smile was as dazzling as the sun spearing through the crack in the drapes. He caught her hands and pulled her up to his chest. When he gave her a lush kiss, she found herself tingling all over. His hands slid down to her bottom. He lifted her up to her toes and pressed her against him. “Do you know what you do to me?”
His breath was as labored as hers. “I suspect the same thing you do to me.”
“This may be our last chance for some time. Will you let me make love to you once more?”
“Yes.” She wanted him again.
He kissed her like a starving man. She tangled her tongue with his and threaded her fingers in his hair. When he lowered his head, he suckled her through her shift, and she cried out. He pressed the straps of her shift down her arms until it pooled on the carpet. She loosened the ribbon on his drawers and shoved them off. He held her, and he was hard against her stomach. She reached between them and caressed him.
He drew in a ragged breath and touched her intimately. She was lost in the sensations, lost in the heat of his body, and God help her, lost in love with him. She kissed his chest where his heart beat rapidly, because she dared not speak the words that were in her heart. It would hurt too much to listen to his silence.
He took her hand, walked to the chaise, and sat in the middle. Then he pulled her onto his lap and entered her. He suckled her breasts as she found the rhythm and the pleasurable sensations crested quickly until she cried out.
He stood, carried her to the bed, and entered her again. As he pressed inside, she whimpered a little because he felt so good. She loved the feeling of sharing her body with him. He moved slowly and never let his gaze slip away from hers, and she loved him all the more for it. But eventually he seemed to lose himself in the pleasure and he thrust inside her faster and faster. She wrapped her legs around him and felt him throbbing inside of her. Afterward, he rolled to his side and smiled at her. “I hope this was not too much for you.”
Her face grew warm. “I think you know I liked it.”
He slid on his trousers. “You have enslaved me.”
She grinned. “Will you do my bidding?”
“I am yours, mistress, but you must let me recover.”
“I have high hopes you will rise to the occasion.”
He burst out laughing and hugged her. “You are wonderful.”
She loved being so close to him. “I will miss this when we return to Deerfield.”
“We will have to leave soon,” he said.
“I wish we could stay.”
“You will think me greedy,” he said, “but I want to make love to you once more.”
“I want you again,” she said.
A sly expression entered his eyes. “Will you be my mistress?”
“What are you about?” she said.
He led her back to the chaise. “On your knees.”
“What game do you play?” she whispered.
“You can say no, but will you do my bidding?”
She wet her lips. “Why should I?”
“Because I will reward you,” he said in a rough tone.
She knelt on the carpet between his spread legs. The bulge in his trousers gave evidence to his excitement.
“What do you bid me to do?” she whispered.
“Release the buttons on my falls.”
She let her fingers brush over him as she slowly released the buttons one by one. The game made her breathless. Her breasts felt heavy, and she wanted him inside her.
When he sprang out, she looked up into his eyes. “May I touch you?”
“Yes.” His voice sounded harsh.
She ran her finger in circles around him. There was a drop of moisture on top.
“Have I pleased you?” She liked pretending she was a libidinous courtesan.
He pulled her forward and lifted the skirts to her waist. “Touch yourself.”
She looked at the carpet. “I am too shy.”
“Straddle my leg.”
When she did, he took her hand and guided it to her sex. “Do you like it?”
“I like your touch better.”
He caressed her intimately until her legs felt like jelly. Then he inserted first one and then another finger. “You are slick and wet. I like the sound of moisture as I pleasure you.”
She was breathing fast, and so was he. His words encouraged her to be brazen. “You please me,” she said, “but I am wanton and greedy.”
“What are you greedy for?” he said.
She wrapped her hand around his aroused cock.
“You want to ride astride me?”
“Yes.”
“You are new at this,” he said, “but you are eager.”
“I am eager for you.”
“You may straddle me now,” he said.
She did his bidding. “Will you pleasure me?”
“Yes.” Her breathing grew labored with the caress of his fingers.
“Do you want me?” he said, his voice low.
“Yes, I am lascivious and live for pleasure.”
“I want to watch you.”
She rose up on her knees and guided him. He went slowly, but God almighty he’d never been this lust-crazed in his life.
When she rocked into him, he almost spent his seed immediately, but he was as hungry as she to continue their role-play. He splayed his hands over her bottom as he lifted up to meet her. Then as he sensed she was as close to the edge as he was, he locked his mouth to hers and mimicked his tongue play with his thrusts inside her. She was panting and cried out. He could feel the contractions of her release all around him, and he spilled his seed again.
She clutched his shoulders. Their bodies were still joined.
“You have to marry me,” he said.
“No, I’m a famous courtesan. I refuse to keep only one man.”
He laughed a little. “Darling girl, you may pretend to be anyone you wish, but you will never escape me now. I’ve had more than a taste of you, and it will never be enough.”
He dressed in yesterday’s clothes and helped her into the stays, petticoats, and gown afterward.
“Angeline, I’ve been thinking. Let’s announce the engagement.”
“No, we need to use the time to talk.”
“There is nothing to be proved by letting this drag on. You know we will have no privacy at Deerfield.”
“I need time, Colin.”
“For what? We will figure things out as we go, like any other couple.”
“I know what you stand to lose at Sommerall,” she said, “but you know what I’ve been through, and I cannot be rushed.”
“Do you trust me or not?”
“Of course I do,” she said.
“Then let me make our engagement public.”
“If we announce it now, they will suspect what we’ve been doing.”
The clatter of hooves sounded. He looked out the window. “There’s John.”
“I wish we could stay,” she said.
“So do I.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. Her head was spinning, and her heart was full of love for him.
“One week, Angeline, and I will announce our engagement.”
When she hesitated, he said, “I know you’re afraid, but you need to trust me, starting today. One week.”
“Very well,” she said.
He hugged her hard. “We must go before your father decides to send out a search party.”
They arrived at Deerfield to discover Wycoff and the marquess about to board a carriage.
“I began to think you might have drowned last night,” the marquess said to Colin.
“Angeline was frightened and wanted to leave, but of course we could not. It wasn’t safe to travel.”
“Daughter, are you well?” the duke demanded.
“Yes, I’m fine, Papa. Just a little rumpled in yesterday’s clothing.”
“I’m sorry for the miserable night,” Colin said, meeting her eyes. “I’m sure you will wish to rest once you are in your room.”
“I am fatigued. It was a long night, but I’m glad the storm passed.”
It was one of the best nights he’d had in years, but he kept that between his teeth.
“Well, we might as well go indoors,” the marquess said. “Colin, after you make yourself presentable, please attend me in my study.”
He nodded.
An hour later, he knocked on his father’s door and sat before the desk.
“That was quite a storm last night,” Colin said. “Is everything fine here at Deerfield?”
“Lightning struck a tree limb. I’ve got men chopping it now. Your sisters scared Penelope by telling ghost stories last night.”
He laughed. “I’m not surprised.”
“That ugly dog howled most of the night. I threatened to turn it out in the storm, but Margaret accused me of cruelty. Then your sisters started crying, and I thought we’d never get everybody in bed and asleep. What a night.” He paused and said, “What happened with Mr. and Mrs. Faraday? Did they show?”
“Oh, yes,” Colin said. When he finished the story, he said, “You probably would regret having them as neighbors. You would likely find them calling a little too often.”
“Something needs to be done,” the marquess said. “I can’t let the place go to rack and ruin, and it most certainly will if I do nothing. It’s a miracle the place has withstood the years as well as it has.”
“Last night, I feared the heavy rain would expose leaks, but everything appeared to be in good order.”
The marquess sighed. “I expect you know that Wycoff is concerned about you staying in the same house alone with his daughter.”
“We had no choice,” Colin said. “Would he have preferred I risk her life, that of the driver, and the horses?”
“Of course not,” the marquess said, “but it wouldn’t hurt if you reassured Wycoff that his daughter suffered no harm.”
Colin looked out the window and then he turned to his father. “I have no intention of reassuring Wycoff. I know she is his daughter, but it is disrespectful on his part to question either of us. Moreover, we are not sniveling adolescents.”
Of course their nocturnal and morning activities had not been innocent, but they were thirty-one years old and more than mature enough to deal with any consequences. Mind, he hoped there weren’t any, but if so, they would marry in a hurry.
But that only brought to mind this ridiculous secret engagement. Thank goodness he’d persuaded her to make the announcement in one week. He’d grown weary of it and did not see how they would prove anything by allowing the situation to drag on for another two and one-half weeks.
“Colin, you know what their family has been through,” the marquess said.
“Yes, a roué treated her badly, but Wycoff should take a portion of the blame. He has plenty of connections, and he let a known libertine hoodwink him.”
“I came to the same conclusion. He is a good friend, but in the case of Brentmoor, his judgment became clouded.”
Colin nodded. “Men like Brentmoor train their sights on the unwary. They recognize others’ vulnerabilities and take advantage.” He felt like a hypocrite. He’d taken advantage of Angeline last night. Of course, he would never admit it.
“Wycoff needs to own up to his mistakes, and he needs to be kind to his daughter,” Colin said.
The marquess frowned. “What do mean?”
“Wycoff is wrapped up in his own guilt. He keeps away from Angeline, and my understanding is that they were close before this all happened. He is wounding her as badly as Brentmoor.”
The marquess clasped his hands over his slight paunch. “I hesitate to get involved.”
“Who better than his oldest friend?” Colin said. “You will tell him what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear.”
The marquess sighed. “It may well end in the ruin of a lifelong friendship.”
“He won’t like it,” Colin said. “What man would? But when he becomes defensive, you will tell him that he must stop wallowing in his guilt and be a husband and father to his family.”
“Where the devil did you acquire this wisdom?”
Colin huffed. “From you.”
His father burst out laughing.